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Jesus is Satan's Brother!! The Gospel according to Mitt Romney

Mark In Irvine 2012/09/13 18:33:10
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jesus is satan s brother

10. Tithes

While tithes are not uncommon among religion, rarely are they mandatory. LDS theology states that in order to make it to the highest kingdom of heaven, you mustpay a full and honest tithe.

D&C; 119: 3-6
3 And this shall be the beginning of the tithing of my people.
4 And after that, those who have thus been tithed shall pay one-tenth of all their interest annually; and this shall be a standing law unto them forever, for my holy priesthood, saith the Lord.
5 Verily I say unto you, it shall come to pass that all those who gather unto the land of Zion shall be tithed of their surplus properties, and shall observe this law, or they shall not be found worthy to abide among you.
6 And I say unto you, if my people observe not this law, to keep it holy, and by this law sanctify the land of Zion unto me, that my statutes and my judgments may be kept thereon, that it may be most holy, behold, verily I say unto you, it shall not be a land of Zion unto you.

9. Pleasure in Life

This is one of the most famous pieces of LDS doctrine. It’s also the cause of many myths about Mormons. Basically; no coffee, no drugs, no tobacco.

D&C; 89: 5-13
5 That inasmuch as any man drinketh wine or strong drink among you, behold it is not good, neither meet in the sight of your Father, only in assembling yourselves together to offer up your sacraments before him.
6 And, behold, this should be wine, yea, pure wine of the grape of the vine, of your own make.
7 And, again, strong drinks are not for the belly, but for the washing of your bodies.
8 And again, tobacco is not for the body, neither for the belly, and is not good for man, but is an herb for bruises and all sick cattle, to be used with judgment and skill.
9 And again, hot drinks are not for the body or belly.
10 And again, verily I say unto you, all wholesome herbs God hath ordained for the constitution, nature, and use of man—
11 Every herb in the season thereof, and every fruit in the season thereof; all these to be used with prudence and thanksgiving.
12 Yea, flesh also of beasts and of the fowls of the air, I, the Lord, have ordained for the use of man with thanksgiving; nevertheless they are to be used sparingly;
13 And it is pleasing unto me that they should not be used, only in times of winter, or of cold, or famine.

8. Spirits

This one is very unique to the LDS faith. Basically, everyone on earth now was a spirit in the pre-existence. When we die, our spirits are separated from our bodies and if we were good they go to “spirit paradise.” If we were bad they go to “spirit prison.” The spirit world exists as a place for spirits to go while awaiting the second coming.

D&C; 138: 8-14
8 “By which also he went and preached unto the spirits in prison;
9 “Which sometime were disobedient, when once the long-suffering of God waited in the days of Noah, while the ark was a preparing, wherein few, that is, eight souls were saved by water.” (1 Peter 3:18—20.)
10 “For for this cause was the gospel preached also to them that are dead, that they might be judged according to men in the flesh, but live according to God in the spirit.” (1 Peter 4:6.)
11 As I pondered over these things which are written, the eyes of my understanding were opened, and the Spirit of the Lord rested upon me, and I saw the hosts of the dead, both small and great.
12 And there were gathered together in one place an innumerable company of the spirits of the just, who had been faithful in the testimony of Jesus while they lived in mortality;
13 And who had offered sacrifice in the similitude of the great sacrifice of the Son of God, and had suffered tribulation in their Redeemer’s name.
14 All these had departed the mortal life, firm in the hope of a glorious resurrection, through the grace of God the Father and his Only Begotten Son, Jesus Christ.

7. Modern Revelation

Almost everyone who knows anything about the Mormon religion knows they have a prophet. What many don’t know, is anything that the prophet says in official capacity is considered official canon.

D&C; 43: 2-9
2 For behold, verily, verily, I say unto you, that ye have received a commandment for a law unto my church, through him whom I have appointed unto you to receive commandments and revelations from my hand.
3 And this ye shall know assuredly—that there is none other appointed unto you to receive commandments and revelations until he be taken, if he abide in me.
4 But verily, verily, I say unto you, that none else shall be appointed unto this gift except it be through him; for if it be taken from him he shall not have power except to appoint another in his stead.
5 And this shall be a law unto you, that ye receive not the teachings of any that shall come before you as revelations or commandments;
6 And this I give unto you that you may not be deceived, that you may know they are not of me.
7 For verily I say unto you, that he that is ordained of me shall come in at the gate and be ordained as I have told you before, to teach those revelations which you have received and shall receive through him whom I have appointed.
8 And now, behold, I give unto you a commandment, that when ye are assembled together ye shall instruct and edify each other, that ye may know how to act and direct my church, how to act upon the points of my law and commandments, which I have given.
9 And thus ye shall become instructed in the law of my church, and be sanctified by that which ye have received, and ye shall bind yourselves to act in all holiness before me—

6. Jesus Visited the Americas

The Book of Mormon is a book of LDS scripture that takes place during the same time as the Bible and takes place on the American continent. It follows the stories of two tribes who descended from the family of Lehi. After Jesus’ resurrection LDS people believe he visited the peoples of the Americas.

3 Nephi 11: 7-12
7 Behold my Beloved Son, in whom I am well pleased, in whom I have glorified my name—hear ye him.
8 And it came to pass, as they understood they cast their eyes up again towards heaven; and behold, they saw a Man descending out of heaven; and he was clothed in a white robe; and he came down and stood in the midst of them; and the eyes of the whole multitude were turned upon him, and they durst not open their mouths, even one to another, and wist not what it meant, for they thought it was an angel that had appeared unto them.
9 And it came to pass that he stretched forth his hand and spake unto the people, saying:
10 Behold, I am Jesus Christ, whom the prophets testified shall come into the world.
11 And behold, I am the alight and the life of the world; and I have drunk out of that bitter cup which the Father hath given me, and have glorified the Father in taking upon me the sins of the world, in the which I have suffered the will of the Father in all things from the beginning.
12 And it came to pass that when Jesus had spoken these words the whole multitude fell to the earth; for they remembered that it had been prophesied among them that Christ should show himself unto them after his ascension into heaven.

5. The Nature of God

While most religions believe in God, the LDS religion believes in God, Jesus and the Holy Spirit as separate beings. They also believe that God, Jesus and resurrected beings have bodies of “flesh and bone.”

D&C; 129:1-5
1 There are two kinds of beings in heaven, namely: Angels, who are resurrected personages, having bodies of flesh and bones—
2 For instance, Jesus said: Handle me and see, for a spirit hath not flesh and bones, as ye see me have.
3 Secondly: the spirits of just men made perfect, they who are not resurrected, but inherit the same glory.
4 When a messenger comes saying he has a message from God, offer him your hand and request him to shake hands with you.
5 If he be an angel he will do so, and you will feel his hand.

D&C; 130: 22-23
22 The Father has a body of flesh and bones as tangible as man’s; the Son also; but the Holy Ghost has not a body of flesh and bones, but is a personage of Spirit. Were it not so, the Holy Ghost could not dwell in us.
23 A man may receive the Holy Ghost, and it may descend upon him and not tarry with him.

4. Priesthood

In the LDS religion any worthy male can be given the priesthood and is given specific duties. Black people were not allowed to have the priesthood until 1978. Females are not allowed to have the priesthood.

D&C; 107: 1-5
1 There are, in the church, two priesthoods, namely, the Melchizedek and Aaronic, including the Levitical Priesthood.
2 Why the first is called the Melchizedek Priesthood is because Melchizedek was such a great high priest.
3 Before his day it was called the Holy Priesthood, after the Order of the Son of God.
4 But out of respect or reverence to the name of the Supreme Being, to avoid the too frequent repetition of his name, they, the church, in ancient days, called that priesthood after Melchizedek, or the Melchizedek Priesthood.
5 All other authorities or offices in the church are appendages to this priesthood.

Official Declaration – 2, 1978
Aware of the promises made by the prophets and presidents of the Church who have preceded us that at some time, in God’s eternal plan, all of our brethren who are worthy may receive the priesthood, and witnessing the faithfulness of those from whom the priesthood has been withheld, we have pleaded long and earnestly in behalf of these, our faithful brethren, spending many hours in the Upper Room of the Temple supplicating the Lord for divine guidance.

3. Multiple Heavens

In LDS doctrine there are three heavens: the Celestial Kingdom, Terrestrial Kingdom, and Telestial Kingdom. The Celestial is the highest, where God and the ones who followed his law reside. The Terrestrial is the middle, where people who followed the Law of Moses reside. The Telestial is the lowest, where the ones who followed carnal law reside.

D&C; 76: 94-98
94 They who dwell in his presence are the church of the Firstborn; and they see as they are seen, and know as they are known, having received of his fulness and of his grace;
95 And he makes them equal in power, and in might, and in dominion.
96 And the glory of the celestial is one, even as the glory of the sun is one.
97 And the glory of the terrestrial is one, even as the glory of the moon is one.
98 And the glory of the telestial is one, even as the glory of the stars is one; for as one star differs from another star in glory, even so differs one from another in glory in the telestial world;

2. Forgiveness

In LDS theology you can be forgiven for any sin, save two. First, denying the Holy Spirit, and second, murder. Also, God is infinitely forgiving, until the second coming. After that, you end up where you end up, no matter what. There are no second chances. Period.

D&C; 76: 43-45
43 Who glorifies the Father, and saves all the works of his hands, except those sons of perdition who deny the Son after the Father has revealed him.
44 Wherefore, he saves all except them—they shall go away into everlasting punishment, which is endless punishment, which is eternal punishment, to reign with the devil and his angels in eternity, where their worm dieth not, and the fire is not quenched, which is their torment—
45 And the end thereof, neither the place thereof, nor their torment, no man knows;

D&C; 18: 42
18 And now, behold, I speak unto the church. Thou shalt not kill; and he that kills shall not have forgiveness in this world, nor in the world to come.

D&C; 76: 111-112
111 For they shall be judged according to their works, and every man shall receive according to his own works, his own dominion, in the mansions which are prepared;
112 And they shall be servants of the Most High; but where God and Christ dwell they cannot come, worlds without end.

1. Multiple Worlds and Multiple Gods

This deserves some explanation. Mormons believe that God created multiple worlds and each world has people living on it. They also believe that multiple Gods exist but each has their own universe. We are only subject to our God and if we obtain the highest level of heaven we can become gods ourselves.

D&C; 76: 24
24 That by him, and through him, and of him, the worlds are and were created, and the inhabitants thereof are begotten sons and daughters unto God.

D&C; 93: 10
10 The worlds were made by him; men were made by him; all things were made by him, and through him, and of him.

Moses 1: 33
33 And worlds without number have I created; and I also created them for mine own purpose; and by the Son I created them, which is mine Only Begotten.

D&C; 76: 108
108 Then shall he be crowned with the crown of his glory, to sit on the throne of his power to reign forever and ever.

D&C; 131: 1-5
1 In the celestial glory there are three heavens or degrees;
2 And in order to obtain the highest, a man must enter into this order of the priesthood [meaning the new and everlasting covenant of marriage];
3 And if he does not, he cannot obtain it.
4 He may enter into the other, but that is the end of his kingdom; he cannot have an increase.
5 (May 17th, 1843.) The more sure word of prophecy means a man’s knowing that he is sealed up unto eternal life, by revelation and the spirit of prophecy, through the power of the Holy Priesthood.

===============================================

GO HERE to find out about KOLOB, the Mormon planet that exists only in Mormon theology, but not in the real world:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kolob

Kolob is a star or planet described in Mormon scripture. Reference to Kolob is found in the Book of Abraham, a work published by Joseph Smith, Jr., the founder of the Latter Day Saint movement. According to this work, Kolob is the heavenly body nearest to the throne of God. While the Book of Abraham refers to Kolob as a "star",[1] it also refers to planets as stars,[2] and therefore, some LDS commentators consider Kolob to be a planet.[3]

Kolob has never been identified with any modern astronomical object and is not recognized by scholars as a concept associated with any ancient civilization. Kolob is rarely discussed in modern LDS religious contexts, but it is periodically a topic of discussion in criticism of Mormonism. The idea appears within LDS culture, including an LDS hymn about it.[4] Kolob is also the inspiration for the fictional planet Kobol within the Battlestar Galacticauniverse, created by Glen A. Larson, a Mormon.[5][6]

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Top Opinion

  • HiYa 2012/09/13 20:49:52
    None of the above
    HiYa
    +3
    This is a Mormon Belief, but I don't subscribe to it. Jesus and Satan Brothers

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Opinions

  • Hamilton 2012/09/16 20:23:27
    None of the above
    Hamilton
    I also don't think that this is the most relevant thing to be talking about right now.
  • reaper 2012/09/14 01:13:48
    All of the above
    reaper
    +1
    I remember awhile back someone asked if romney's faith matters at all when it comes to the election. i answered no, but also said I know how to easily make it so it would be a problem for him.

  • Mark In... reaper 2012/09/14 01:18:57
  • Who wants a cupcake? 2012/09/14 00:08:06
    None of the above
    Who wants a cupcake?
    +1
    none yo
  • ID51 2012/09/13 21:27:03
    All of the above
    ID51
    +1
    Sodahead is doing it's own thing for responses today... I don't subscribe to any of the "Jesus is Satan's brother" or vice versa.
  • HiYa 2012/09/13 20:49:52
    None of the above
    HiYa
    +3
    This is a Mormon Belief, but I don't subscribe to it. Jesus and Satan Brothers
  • Joe 2012/09/13 20:38:58
    None of the above
    Joe
    +1
    What I believe is that the clown who submitted this post is probably a Barry Hussein loving libtard. jms
  • Miss Kris the Centrist 2012/09/13 20:32:23
  • Kozmo 2012/09/13 20:19:42
    All of the above
    Kozmo
    +1
    They're two sides of the same coin, up to the believer which one is favored, figuretively speaking that is. Actually (Unitarianism) there's only God & nothing else. What folks think is Satan is merely a mis-perceived reflection of HIM.

    Do you know the story of Narcissus? In Greek lore he was a selfish arrogant egomaniac that happened to have the body & visage of a(n assumed) Hellenic god (note the casing). He would entice folks (unsure who, bisexuality was accepted back then) to go through great lengths bending over backwards for his indulgence with no reciprocity at all. The Olympian gods received complaints, maybe talked but the buck stopped at Zeus and 'something' was done, means unknown. When 'Cissy happened to see his REFLECTION in a pool of water, he was so transfixed by it (an irresistible Idol?) that he just ceased to do anything else and eventually perished. Another character associated with him, Echo was damned to only repeat whatever she[?] heard is mentioned in some accounts.

    I "speculate" that in the Book of Job (said to date back further than the Torah) I think God somehow got tricked by his own reflection to torment poor innocent Job with loss, agony & the scorn of his wife and three best friends by default. When Job expostulated his case in Chapter 38 (...&


    They're two sides of the same coin, up to the believer which one is favored, figuretively speaking that is. Actually (Unitarianism) there's only God & nothing else. What folks think is Satan is merely a mis-perceived reflection of HIM.

    Do you know the story of Narcissus? In Greek lore he was a selfish arrogant egomaniac that happened to have the body & visage of a(n assumed) Hellenic god (note the casing). He would entice folks (unsure who, bisexuality was accepted back then) to go through great lengths bending over backwards for his indulgence with no reciprocity at all. The Olympian gods received complaints, maybe talked but the buck stopped at Zeus and 'something' was done, means unknown. When 'Cissy happened to see his REFLECTION in a pool of water, he was so transfixed by it (an irresistible Idol?) that he just ceased to do anything else and eventually perished. Another character associated with him, Echo was damned to only repeat whatever she[?] heard is mentioned in some accounts.

    I "speculate" that in the Book of Job (said to date back further than the Torah) I think God somehow got tricked by his own reflection to torment poor innocent Job with loss, agony & the scorn of his wife and three best friends by default. When Job expostulated his case in Chapter 38 (only up to 22 , see further down) he was restored to health & was rewarded with double his loss but his slain children we're brought to life, he got surrogates instead.

    In Jung's "Answer to Job" (which I skimmed, reading "Let God be God" at present) Carl wrote that he opined that God somehow was hoodwinked by his "Dark Side" into running Job through the wringer, breaking three Commandments and when Job 'stated his case'
    the Almighty did make a serious attempt to atone but, for unknown reasons, couldn't rectify the past exactly but still left the tormented Soul with a substantial gain anyways.
    (more)
  • Starman 2012/09/13 19:56:33
    None of the above
    Starman
    +1
    What a bunch of crap. The Book of Mormon is just about as crazy as the Christian bible, or the Koran.
  • david.miner.98 2012/09/13 19:11:09
  • Max 2012/09/13 19:09:07
    None of the above
    Max
    +1
    I always thought tithing came from the Jewish handbook. i.e. the Bible

    As for the brotherly thing, I never heard that one. It must be a West Coast thing.
  • Mark In... Max 2012/09/13 19:09:59
    Mark In Irvine
    +1
    Boney Moroney came up with this crap.
  • WF - Rumpelstiltskin -PWCM~JLA 2012/09/13 19:01:24
    None of the above
    WF - Rumpelstiltskin -PWCM~JLA
  • Barbara 2012/09/13 18:58:54
    None of the above
    Barbara
    +3
    It's not the gospel of Mitt Romney, but it is one of the Mormon beliefs.
  • darcie lamar 2012/09/13 18:57:55
    None of the above
    darcie lamar
    +2
    Why don't you attack Mohammed? He's a child molester.
  • reaper darcie ... 2012/09/14 01:09:15
    reaper
    +1
    at that time he wouldn't of been considered one. today, yes he would, and so would Joseph Smith.
  • david.m... reaper 2012/09/14 01:19:45
  • reaper david.m... 2012/09/14 02:30:39
    reaper
    +2
    over 100 years ago here in the US age of consent was 10 and the guy was a polygamist. you really think a person back then is going to say "i'm going to wait till she's 18 to marry her"? at the time it was legal to marry a 12 year old.
  • david.m... reaper 2012/09/14 03:08:29
  • reaper david.m... 2012/09/14 03:13:47
    reaper
    +1
    umm, i also seemed to of forgotten to link to this. and he picked up on some possible cougars... and looking at the photos maybe not. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/...
  • david.m... reaper 2012/09/14 03:19:50 (edited)
  • reaper david.m... 2012/09/14 03:21:34
    reaper
    +1
    why would a person want so many wives? seems more like a hassle to me.
  • david.m... reaper 2012/09/14 03:24:43
  • Mark In... reaper 2012/09/14 06:03:00
    Mark In Irvine
    you could always get one of them to fcuk when you're in the mood ...
  • darcie ... reaper 2012/09/14 03:54:21
  • Xerxes,Phantom of PHAET 2012/09/13 18:52:29
    None of the above
    Xerxes,Phantom of PHAET
    +1
    A religion started by an alleged horse thief. no relevance
  • Kaleokualoha 2012/09/13 18:41:18
    None of the above
    Kaleokualoha
    +3
    From an objective viewpoint, LDS beliefs are just as rational as most other religious beliefs.
  • Mark In... Kaleoku... 2012/09/13 19:04:52
    Mark In Irvine
    +1
    stated another way:

    "From an objective viewpoint, every religious belief is just as irrational as every other religious belief".

    bwahaha
  • Kaleoku... Mark In... 2012/09/13 19:15:00
    Kaleokualoha
    +1
    Indeed! The glass is half full OR half empty!
  • david.m... Mark In... 2012/09/14 01:20:41
  • Mark In... david.m... 2012/09/14 01:49:11
    Mark In Irvine
    "Find one you think is way out there"

    Find one a religion that I think is way out there?

    How about all the ones that think G-d is far away and tells us what to do and what not to do ... don't eat pork, don't boil the calf in its mother's milk; kill women who are not virgins when they marry; kill children who mouth off; G-d comes from the planet Kolob; people who didn't believe the stuff Joseph Smith believed were punished with black skin; three days after he was murdered a man form Nazareth was lifted up bodily into heaven and then (eventually) came back and was alive again; the same Nazarene was able to walk bodily on the surface of water; G-d wants his followers to kill all Jews; the Nazarene was born of a woman who was a virgin had never had sexual intercourse with a man); if you pray to certain dead people, they will do physical things for you ... about the only "faiths" that make any sense are the ones that say that pretty much humanity is here on earth and has to learn how to live in peace with the other humans ...
  • david.m... Mark In... 2012/09/14 02:01:23
  • Mark In... david.m... 2012/09/14 02:09:58
    Mark In Irvine
    +1
    OH ... ok ... be right back ...
  • Mark In... david.m... 2012/09/14 02:21:52 (edited)
    Mark In Irvine
    mormons think that they can baptize people who have already died

    =============================...

    mormons are obligated to wear special underwear at all times, even doing yard-work!

    =============================...

    Brigham Young believed that the moon and sun were inhabited:

    Looking for a quote and source from Brigham Young stating he
    believed the moon and sun were inhabited

    I can answer your question, however. Here's Brigham Young's statement:

    Oliver B. Huntington recorded in his diary:
    "The inhabitants of the moon are more of a uniform size than the
    inhabitants of the earth, being six feet in height. They dress very much
    like the Quaker style and are quite general in style or fashion of
    dress. They live to be very old; coming generally near a thousand years.
    This is the description of them as given by Joseph [Smith] the Seer, and
    he could see whatever he asked the Father in the name of Jesus to see" -
    Journal of Oliver B. Huntington, Vol 2, p 166, emphasis added
  • Mark In... Mark In... 2012/09/14 02:55:04
    Mark In Irvine
    Sep 1981 - Branch presidents at the Missionary Training Center in Provo receive 21-point handout to help "both male and female" misionaries avoid masturbation. Point 19: "In very severe cases it may be necessary to tie a hand to the bed frame with a tie in order that the habit of masturbating in a semi-sleep condition can be broken." In May 1995 article about masturbation, national magazine "Details" publishes seventeen of the recommendations and identifies Apostle Mark E. Petersen as author of "Steps in Overcoming Masturbations: A Guide to Self-Control." In 1996, spokesman at LDS headquarters denies that Elder Petersen authored this document and denies that it was ever distributed.
  • david.m... Mark In... 2012/09/14 03:42:34 (edited)
  • Mark In... david.m... 2012/09/14 06:04:16
    Mark In Irvine
    your 4 year old will be fine ... as long as you have "the talk" with him and make it clear that it is very natural and normal to masturbate ...
  • david.m... Mark In... 2012/09/14 06:44:55
  • Mark In... david.m... 2012/09/14 06:51:53
    Mark In Irvine
    you disagree? there are two kinds of men in the world: those who masturbate and those who lie and say they don't. don't fcuk up your kid by telling him it is wrong. G-d made us horny ... masturbation is part of life; it's obviously not the best part of life (marriage and parenthood is) but it has its place and time.

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