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Post this on your Profile if your a lover of Linkin Park! *Gir*

Let's get one thing straight. I. Love. Gir. Got that? Oh, and if you hadn't figured it out, I act five but I can act thirty. I like calling someone 'hon' even if i'm younger so don't get mad at me for it. Well, that's all I could think of to put in these blasted About me things. Oh, and I phucking LOVE Starbucks. That is all. PEACE xD Bloody hells.

-GIR OUT,xD




~Kelsey Briggs~ April 28th






*Hilarious*



$My Birthday$
<br/>>>><A href="http:www.blixy.com... target="_blank" rel="nofollow">C... your countdown widget and more at Blixy.com!<br>

Nice People

Soccer
Kickball
Running
Basketball
Football
Baseball

Poetry
Reading
Writing Songs

Every Kind


favez songz rite now:

boston-augustana
dead & gone-T.I.
halo-beyonce
if i were a boy-beyonce
i hate this part-pussycat dolls
i hope you dance-lee ann
in the end-linkin park
i walk alone-greenday
hometown glory-adele
a little bit longer-jonas brothers
love lockdown-kanye west
numb/encore-jay-z ft. linkin park
peace of me-natasha bediengfield
say ok-vanessa hudgens
take a bow-rihanna
unfaithful-rihanna
what i've done-linkin park
who knew-pink

once upon a december-anastasia

my december-linkin park

i love this song
nd it also helpz 2 be born in december

if u knowz any good sad songz like these ^^^
message me them

Invader Zim
Spongebob Squarepants
Degrassi: The Next Generation
The Nanny
George Lopez
The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air
Nurse Jackie

Meet the Spartans
Step Up 2
Disturbia
Untraceable
Resident Evil: Extinction
All "Star Wars" Movies
Baby Mama

WinterBirth
Oathbound Wizard
Juliet Dove
The Book of Bright Ideads A Novel
Bloodheir

and more

"DONT READ THIS"
"Friends help you move:real friends help you move the body"
"Mothers with teenagers know why animals eat their young"
"3 Types of People:those who can count and those who can't"
"A day without sunshine is like, you know,night"
"Amnesia used to be my favorite word, then i forgot it"
"Another brilliant mind ruined by education"
"Avoid hangovers,stay drunk"
"Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder"
"Beer:making women better since 1965"
"Change is good.....you go first"
"don't judge a book by its movie"
"First the engagement ring, then the wedding ring, and then the suffering..."
"Eat right, exercise,die anyway"
"Everyone is entitled to my opinion"
"follow your dreams -- except the one where you're in you're underwear"

Bumper Sticker Quotes:
"watch out for the idiot behind me"
"There are 2 types of pedestrians:the quick and the dead"
"CAUTION--Driver legally blonde"
"DRIVE IT LIKE YOU STOLE IT"



"Fortune said palms can say a lot especially when it smacks you,"

"Stick that in your juice box and suck it!"

"Whoever said nothing was immposible has clearly never tried slamming a revolving door"

"'latte' is italian for 'you paid too much for that coffee'"

"Love is like HEAVEN but it can hurt like HELL"

'At age 8, your dad buys you an ice cream. You thanked him by dripping
it all over his lap.

When you were 9 years old, he paid for piano lessons. You thanked him
by never even bothering to practice.

When you were 10 years old he drove you all day, from soccer to
football to one birthday party after another. You thanked him by
jumping out
of the car and never looking back.

When you were 11 years old, he took you and your friends to
the movies. You thanked him by asking to sit in a different row.

When you were 12 years old, he warned you not to watch
certain TV shows. You thanked him by waiting until he left the house.

When you were 13, he suggested a haircut that was in fashion.
You thanked him by telling him he had no taste.

When you were 14, he paid for a month away at summer camp.
You thanked him by forgetting to write a single letter.

When you were 15, he came home from work, looking for a hug.
You thanked him by having your bedroom door locked.

When you were 16, he taught you how to drive his car. You
thanked him by taking it every chance you could.

When you were 17, he was expecting an important call. You thanked him
by being on the phone all night.

When you were 18, he cried at your high school graduation. You thanked
him by staying out partying until dawn.

When you were 19, he paid for your college tuition, drove you to campus
carried your bags. You thanked him by saying good-bye outside the dorm
so you wouldn't be embarrassed in front of your friends.

When you were 25, he helped to pay for your wedding, and he told you
how deep he loved you. You thanked him by moving halfway across the
country.

When you were 50, he fell ill and needed you to take care of him . You
thanked him by reading about the burden parents become to their
children.

And then, one day, he quietly died. And everything you never did came
crashing down like thunder on your heart. If you love your dad, post this on your profile

If you've ever fallen UP stairs, copy this on your profile!

If you love rain, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you are against fur coats, clothing, boots, etc, and the people who kill the animals don't use the meat, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you ever wished you could talk to animals or be an animal, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever walked into a room then forgot what you were doing, then started walking away and remembered copy this into your profile.

If you have ever been watching a T.V show, and when the commercials came on you forgot what you were watching copy this into your profile.

If you have ever had a random song pop into your head at the most completely and utter worst time but you sing it anyway copy this into your profile.


-Ninety-five percent of teenagers are concerned about being popular. If you are one of the five percent who aren't, copy this and put it in your profile.

-98 percent of the teenage population does or has tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2 percent who hasn't, copy and paste this in your profile.

-People call me crazy, but I'm just random! If you're random and proud of it, copy and paste this in your profile!

-If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this one your profile.

- If you hate obnoxious and snobby people, put this in your profile.

- If you love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love chocolate, put this in you your profile.


I live in a world full of bunnies and unicorns. But those bunnies are cutting themselves and the unicorns are acting all emo again...

The dinosaur's extinction wasn't an accident. Barney came and they all committed suicide.

Slinky + Escalator = Endless fun

God made man, and then he said, "I can do better than that," and made women.

I'm the kind of person that walks into a door and apologizes.

Death is God's way of saying you're fired. Suicide is human’s way of saying you can't fire me, I quit.

How can I miss you if you never left?

Always forgive your enemies - Nothing annoys them more.

I called your boyfriend gay and he hit me with his purse...

Evening News is where they begin with "Good Evening" then proceed to tell you why it isn't. Weird…

Don't follow in my footsteps, I tend to walk into walls… and poles… and other stuff…

There are no stupid questions, just stupid people.

What are the three words guaranteed to humiliate men everywhere? 'Hold my purse.'

Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we supposed to do . . . write to these men?

Why do we teach kids that violence is not the answer and then have them read about wars in school that solved America's problems?

Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most.

People who say anything's possible haven't tried to slam a revolving door.

Therapist = The/rapist... scary thought…

I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it!

Tell the truth and run.

All things considered, insanity may be the only reasonable alternative.

When angry, count to ten, when very angry, swear.

Education is important, school however, is another matter.

What happens if you get scared half to death twice?

When life hand you lemons, throw those lemons right back at it and tell life to make its own dang lemonade.

You say I'm not cool. But cool is another word for cold. If I'm not cold, I'm hot. I know I'm hot. Thanks for embracing it.

Don't mess with me I've got a stick.

I used to be normal, until I met the freaks that I call my friends.

I ran with scissors, and lived!

You cry, I cry, you laugh, I laugh, you fall off a cliff, I laugh even harder.

I'm the kind of girl who will burst our laughing in the middle of a dead silence because of something that happened yesterday.

The greatest challenge in life is to find someone who knows all your flaws, differences, and mistakes, and yet still sees the best in you.


Reasons why girls are the best
1.We got off the Titanic first
2. We get to flirt with systems support men who always return our calls, and are nice to us when we blow up our computers.
3. Our boyfriend's clothes make us look elfin & gorgeous. Guys look like complete idiots in ours.
4. We can be groupies. Male groupies are stalkers.
5. We can cry and get off speeding fines.
6. We've never lusted after a cartoon character or the central female figure in a computer game.
7. Taxis stop for us.
8. Men die earlier, so we get to cash in on the life insurance.
9. We don't look like a frog in a blender when dancing.
10. Free drinks, Free dinners, Free movies ... (you get the point).
11. We can hug our friends without wondering if she thinks we're gay.
12. We can hug our friends without wondering if WE'RE gay.
13. New lipstick gives us a whole new lease on life.
14. It's possible to live our whole lives without ever taking a group shower.
15. We don't have to fart to amuse ourselves.
16. If we forget to shave, no one has to know.
17. We can congratulate our team-mate without ever touching her butt.
18. If we have a zit, we know how to conceal it.
19. We never have to reach down every so often to make sure our privates are still there.
20. If we're dumb, some people will find it cute.
21. We don't have to memorize Caddyshack or Fletch to fit in.
22. We have the ability to dress ourselves.
23. ( I took this one out because I thought it was too much information. )
24. If we marry someone 20 years younger, we're aware that we look like an idiot.
25. Our friends won't think we're weird if we ask whether there's spinach in our teeth.
26. There are times when chocolate really can solve all your problems.
27. We'll never regret piercing our ears.
28. We can fully assess a person just by looking at their shoes.
29. We know which glass was ours by the lipstick mark.
Having the love of you're life say "we can still be friends" is like having you're dog die and your mother saying you can still keep it.



Ways to Annoy people at the cinema:
Throw popcorn in the air and yell, "It's snowing!"
Go, "Oooooh..." whenever anyone kisses.
Clap when the good guy gets killed.
During the previews, yell, "Can you fast-forward it?"
Whenever the bad guy is doing something devious, say, "Watch out!"
Laugh very loudly at all the corny jokes.
Tell the man selling popcorn that the bathroom is flooding.
Yell out what is going to happen.
Wear a cape and when its your turn to get popcorn yell, "I'm Batman! Hahaha!" and run away.
Say that they cannot sit next to you because you invisible friend already is.
Dress for every movie as if it were the Rocky Horror Picture Show.
Use empty chairs next to you as catapults with candy. Aim at specific people behind you and see if you can hit anyone in the back row.
Wear 3D glasses. Complain loudly how bad the effects are.
Bring a flashlight. In the middle of the film do shadow puppets on the ceiling.
Bring a remote control. Complain that you can't change the channel.
Sit front row, the minute the movie starts run out screaming.
Every time a character's name is mentioned do the Richmeister. (for a guy named Nick say, the Nickmeister, the Nickenator, Nickarino...)
Bring a beach ball. Toss it around.
Try to start a wave.
Become a bookie. Take bets on who will die first.
Sit in the back and throw eggs at the projection window.
Every time someone curses cover your ears and scream, "No profanity!"
Sing with the theme music.
Bring and use your own air freshener.
At the ticket booth, request tickets for really old movies, "I'll have two tickets for the Goonies."
Throw spit wads on the screen. Try throwing them on the upper part of the screen so they can't get scraped off.
Pass around a collection plate and see if anyone contributes.
Point a laser pointer at the screen. Give the audience a laser light show.
Bring a book and a bright light. Start reading the book with the light on. When someone asks you to turn out the light, yell, "Shh, I'm trying to read!"
Use binoculars. Stare at the audience rather than the movie.
Bring a Nintendo laser gun. Shoot at the screen.
Clap loudly every time a person walks into the theater late.
When someone kicks the back of your chair, scream, "Ahhh, whiplash!"
Ask what the theater's return policy on popcorn is.
Ask the person at the ticket window, "Do you work here?"
Start a standing ovation at the end of the movie.
Quote all dialogue 4 seconds after it is said on the screen.
Get up frequently and leave the room while singing "Let's all go to the Lobby to get ourselves a treat"
Every time there is a gun shot scream, "Hit the floor!", jump on the floor, and cover your head.
Wear one of those "cat in the hat" top hats.
Play musical chairs, getting up frequently and moving right next to someone sitting by themself.
Bring your own beanbag chair and sit in the aisle.
Before the movie begins, tape fart cusions to various chairs in the theater room.
Bring a portable air popper, pop your own popcorn.
Bring a watergun and shoot it at anyone who begins talking then say very loudly, "SHH!"
Before the commercials start and people are just coming in and shout so that people outside can hear, "I'M SO VERY SORRY! YOU'RE TOO LATE!"
Tie a cardboard box around your waist and walk up and down the aisles shouting "Get your popcorn, peanuts!"
Cough really loudly right at the most important part of the movie, so nobody can here it, like when the killer's name is going to be said.
Laugh hysterically during the sad parts in the movie, cry during the funny ones.
Bring a pager or cellphone and set them off every 5 minutes, you can also set off a watch alarm if you have a loud one.
Say "Shhhhh" every 5 minutes.
Pass by a room that's showing a movie you've already seen, put your head into the room, and scream the end
1.) Do not use an axe to kill a fly on your friends' head.
2.) Most people are only alive because it is illegal to shoot them.


Vampires vs. Werewolves...It's kinda like pirates vs ninjas, but cooler
Firefighter: At one point we decided to fight fire with fire... Well...basically... your house burned even faster.

I ran into my ex the other day, then I put the car in reverse and ran over him again.

Remember, when someone annoys you it takes 42 muscles in your face to frown, BUT it only takes 4 muscles to extend your arm and slap that jerk upside the head

"Some people are like Slinkies. They're really good for nothing. But they still really bring a smile to your face when you push them down a flight of stairs."
Apparently 1 in 5 people in the world are Chinese. And there are five people in my family so it must be one of them. Either it's my mom or my dad. Or my older brother Collin. Or my other brother Ho-Chan-Chu. I think it's Collin.

When you're dumped:
Friends will always be like "well you deserve better" but
BEST friends will be prank calling him saying "you will die in seven days"

My imaginary friend doesn't like you either.

Taste the rainbow- Eat CRAYONS

Please Note: CHRISTMAS IS CANCELED Apparently you told Santa that you have been good this year...he died laughing.

I understand that Scissors can beat Paper, and I get how Rock can beat Scissors, but there's no way Paper can beat Rock. Is Paper supposed to magically wrap around Rock leaving it immobile? If so, why can't paper do this to scissors? Screw scissors, why can't paper do this to people? Why aren't sheets of college ruled notebook paper constantly suffocating students as they attempt to take notes in class? I'll tell you why, because paper can't beat anybody, a rock would tear that crap up in two seconds. When I play rock/ paper/ scissors, I always choose rock. Then when somebody claims to have beaten me with their paper I can punch them in the face with my ready made fist and say, oh, I'm sorry, I thought paper would protect you.
Although, chainsaw beats scissors, paper, AND rock!

I am going to put an end to my procrastination problem. . . Tomorrow

To put it nicely, I hope you choke.

If Tylenol, Duct Tape, & a Band Aid can't fix it, you have a serious problem.

Would you like a cookie? So would I.

You don't have to be faster than the bear, you just have to be faster than the slowest guy running from the bear.

Well the voices and I took a vote. It's unanimous; you suck.

59.) A rejected invention:Instant water! just add water!

Don't ever attempt a staring contest with a brick wall, they cheat a lot

I am nobody. Nobody is perfect. Therefore, I am perfect!

I do what cheerios tell me.

I put the 'fun' in 'dysfunctional'.

If you wish on a falling star it might come true... Unless it's a meteor hurdling to earth... Then no wishes come true... Unless your wish was to be killed a meteor hurdling to earth....

My Braces Are Stuck To The Carpet...

Someday my prince will come he just took a wrong turn, got lost, and is to stubborn to ask for directions.

Emmett's the strongest, Edward's the fastest, But Jasper can sit alone in a corner and still make people jealous.

Okay...so there's this thing called retarded-ness and me and my freinds, well...We've gone pro.

Officer, I swear to Drunk I'm not God!

To the world you may be one person, but to one person you may be the world.

"Everybody looks brave holding a machine gun."

Boys are like slinkys, useless, but fun to watch fall down the stairs.

One day, we will look back on this, laugh nervously, and change the subject.

Ever stop to think and forget to start again?

onlly dum pepol cant spel.

If two wrongs don't make a right, try three.
Everyone has a wild side--me and my friends just prefer to make them public

EMO=Extravagantly Made Oragami

Labels are for cans. And in case you haven't noticed--I'm not a can.

Normal is just a setting on washing machines.
When life gives you lemons, alter their DNA and make SUPER LEMONS

Why isn't chocolate considered a vegetable, if chocolate comes from cocoa beans, and all beans are a vegetable?

Why are people so scared of mice, yet we all love Mickey Mouse?

My mind works like lightning...one flash and then it's gone.

1.When you're blu, I'll try and dislodge whatever is choking you.
2. When you smile, I will know you are plotting something that I must be involved in.
3. When you are scared, I will rag on you about it every chance I get.
4. When you are worried, I will tell you horrible stories about how much worse it could be until you quit whining.
5. When you are confused, I will use little words.
6. When you are sick, stay the heck away from me until you are well. I don't want whatever you have.
7. When you fall, I will point and laugh at your clumsy butt.
This is my oath. I pledge it until the end. "Why?" you may ask. Because you are my friend. Friendship is like peeing your pants. Everyone can see it, but only you can truly feel its warmth.

Random Quotes
"Wal-Mart, do they like, sell walls there?" - Paris Hilton

“I am amazed at radio DJ's today. I am firmly convinced that AM on my radio stands for Absolute Moron. I will not begin to tell you what FM stands for." --Jasper Carrott

"Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else." --Will Rogers

"I don't suffer from insanity I enjoy every minute of it." –Unknown

"Perfection is a waste of time." --Kim De Coite

Engineering: 'How will this work?' Science:'Why will this work?' Management: 'When will this work?' Liberal Arts:'Do you want fries with that?'" –Unknown

“You laugh because I'm different. I laugh because you're all the same.” – Unknown
“A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.” – Unknown

“Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. It's just that yours is stupid.” – Unknown

“He who laughs last didn't get it.” – Unknown

“Where there's a will-- I want to be in it.” – Unknown

"A positive attitude may not solve all of your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort." ~Herm Albright

15 Things to do when your in Wal-Mart!
1. Tape walkie-talkies to th back of Barbies, so when people pass, whisper "i know where you live"
2. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.
3. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone,
" 'Code 3' in housewares"... and see what happens.
4. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M;'s on lay away.
5. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.
6. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.
7. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask,
"Why can't you people just leave me alone?"
8. Look right into the security camera & use it as a mirror, and pick your nose.
9. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti - depressants are.
10. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.
11. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna" look
12. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through,
whisper "pick me" "pick me"
13. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream..
"NO! NO! It's those voices again!!"
14. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while and then yell, very loudly, "There's no toilet paper in here!
15. Grab a lot of bouncy balls and throw them down the aisle, shouting "Go, Pikachu, Go!"


ThInGs To PoNdEr:

Why is it considered necessary to nail down the lid of a coffin?

Why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"?

Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?

Why is it that doctors call what they do "practice"?

Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?

Why can't they make the whole plane out of the same substance that little indestructible black box is?

Can fat people go skinny-dipping?

If a person with multiple personalities threatens suicide, is that considered a hostage situation?

If a cow laughed, would milk come out her nose?

So what's the speed of dark?

How come abbreviated is such a long word?

Ever wonder what the speed of lightning would be if it didn't zigzag?

If quitters never win, and winners never quit, what fool came up with, "Quit while you're ahead"?

Should women put pictures of missing husbands on beer cans?

Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we supposed to do . . . write to these men?

How much deeper would oceans be if sponges didn't live there?

If you can't be kind, at least have the decency to be vague.

After eating, do amphibians need to wait an hour before getting OUT of the water?

Why don't they just make mouse-flavored cat food?

If you're sending someone some Styrofoam, what do you pack it in?

Is it true that cannibals don't eat clowns because they taste funny?

Why can't you find fresh sardines in the fish market?

Why do so many old people eat at cafeterias?

Why does an "X" stand for a kiss?


"Zany" ways to order a pizza :

1. If using a touch-tone phone, press random numbers while ordering. Ask the person taking the order to stop doing that.

2. Terminate the call with, "Remember, we never had this conversation."

3. Tell the order taker a rival pizza place is on the other line and you're going with the lowest bidder.

4. Give them your address, exclaim, "Oh, just surprise me!" and hang up.

5. Answer their questions with questions.

6. In your breathiest voice, tell them to cut the crap about nutrition and ask if they have something outlandishly sinful.

7. Use these bonus words in the coversation: ROBUST, FREE-SPIRITED, COST-EFFICIENT, UKRANIAN, PUCE

8. Tell them to put the crust on top this time.

9. Sing the order to the tune of your favorite song from Metallica's "Master of Puppets" CD.

10. Do not name the toppings you want. Rather, spell them out.

11. Stutter on the letter 'p'.

12. Ask what the order taker is wearing.

13. Say "hello", act stunned for five seconds, then behave as if they called you.

14. Rattle off your order with a determined air. If they ask if you would like drinks with that, panice and become disoriented.

15. Make a list of exotic cuisines. Order them as toppings.

16. Change your accent every three seconds.

17. Order 52 pepperoni slices prepared in a fractal pattern as follows from an equation you are about to dictate. Ask if they need paper.

18. Act like you know the order taker from somewhere. Say, "Bed-wetters' camp, right?"

19. Start your order with, "I'd like . . .", a little later, slao yourself and say, "No, I don't!"

20. If they repeat the order to make sure they have it right say, "OK, that'll be
10.99, please pull up to the first window."

21. Ask if you get to keep the pizza box. When they say yes, heave a sigh of relief.

22. Put the accent on the last syllable of 'pepperoni'. Use the long 'i' sound
.
23. Say, "are you SURE this is Papa John's?" When they say yes, say "Well, so is this! You've got some explaining to do!"

24. Move the mouthpiece farther and farther from your lips as you speak. When the call ends, jerk the mouthpiece back into place and scream, "GOODBYE!" at the top of your lungs.

25. Imitate the order taker's voice.

26. When they say, "What would you like?" say, "Huh? Oh, you mean now."

27. Say it's your anniversary and you'd appreciate if the delivery driver hid behind some furniture waiting for your spouse to arrive so you can surprise him/her.

28. Amuse the order taker with little-known facts about country music.

29. Ask to see a menu.

30. Ask what topping goes best with well-aged Chardonnay.

31. Belch directly into the mouthpiece, then tell your dog it should be ashamed.

32. Doze off in the middle of the order, catch yourself, and say, "Where was I? Who are you?"

33. Psychoanalyze the order taker.

34. Ask what their phone number is. Hang up, call them, and ask again.

35. Order two toppings, then say, "No, they'll start fighting."

36. Call to complain about the service. Later, call to say you were drunk and didn't mean it.

37. Tell the order taker to tell the manager to tell his supervisor he's fired.

38. Report petty theft to the order taker.

39. Use expletives like "Great Caesar's Ghost" and "Jesus Joseph and Mary in Tinsel Town!"

40. Woner aloud if you should trim those nose hairs.

41. Try to talk while drinking something.

42. Start the conversation with, "My call to Papa John's, take one, and . . .action!"

43. When they repeat your order, say "Again, with a little more OOMPH this time."

44. After ordering, say "I wonder what THIS button on the phone does?" Stimulate a cutoff.

45. Start the conversation by reciting today's date and saying, "This may be my last entry."

46. Say, "Kssssssshhhht" rather loudly into the phone. Ask if they felt that.

47. Detect the order taker's psychic aura. Use it to your advantage.

48. Learn to play a blues riff on the harmonica. Stop talking at regular intervals to play it.

49. Mumble, "There's a bomb under your seat." When asked to repeat that say, "I said, 'sauce smothered with meat'!"

50. Make the first topping you order mushrooms. Make the last thing you say, "No mushrooms, please." Hang up before they have a chance to respond.

51. When the order is repeated, change it slightly. When it is repeated again, change it again. On the third time say, "You just don't get it, do you?"

52. When you're given the price say, "Oooooooooh, that sounds complicated, I hate math."

53. When they say, "Will that be all?" snicker and say, "We'll find out, won't we?"

54. Order with a Speak-and-Spell where applicable.

55. While on the phone, fake entering puberty. Fluctuate pitch often; act embarrassed.

56. Dance all around the word 'pizza'. Avoid saying it at all costs. If he/she says it say, "Please don't mention that word."

57. Have a movie with a good car chase scene playing loudly in the background. Yell, "OW!" when a bullet is fired.


Dear Lord, I pray for Wisdom to understand my man; Love to forgive him; And Patience for his moods; Because Lord, if I pray for Strength, I'll beat him to death. AMEN.

Silence is golden, but duct tape is silver

When it rains on my party, I bust out the slip and slide.

If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from? (AHHHH!!)

I'm so gangster, I carry a squirt gun.
.
"Earth is the insane asylum for the universe."

You’re Just Jealous Because The Voices Only Speak To Me.

"Some say the glass is half full, some say it's half empty. ME? i just want to know who the -beep- is drinking my -beep- soda"

"Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way when you criticize them, you are a mile away from them and you have their shoes."

Friends: Tell you that you look nice.
Best Friends: Say your outfit looks like throw up, and then help you find a new one 10 minutes before school starts.

Friends: Say "see you later!"
Best Friends: Say "I LUUUUUHHHVVV you! DON'T LEAAVVEE!" and then tackle/hug you.

Friends: Forgive you.
Best Friends: Hold a fake grudge against you until you let them borrow a hair band.

Friends: Politely refuse food.
Best Friends: Demand it and wipe your pantry clean.

Friends: Bail you out of jail.
Best Friends: Are sitting in the jail cell with you and saying "LET'S DO IT AGAIN!
"
Friends: Are only through school.
Best Friends: Are for EVER!

Friends: Tell jokes with you.
Best Friends: Have countless inside jokes with you.

Friends: Forget you.
Best Friends: Love you forever.

Friends: Tell you that you're the most annoying thing on earth.
Best friends: Say the same thing, except then they laugh and say "I guess that counts for me too!"

Friends: Annoy you.
Best Friends: Annoy you, but then make you laugh.

Friends: Like you.
Best Friends: Love you.

Friends: Laugh with you.
Best Friends: Laugh AT you...WITH you.

"If you weren't so psychotic, you'd be fun to hang around." "Funny, I feel that way about you too."-Christian and Rose

Life isn't passing me by, it's trying to run me over.

Was that an earthquake, or did I just rock your world?

My knight in shining armor turned out to be a loser in aluminum foil.

Don't hate yourself in the morning-sleep till noon.

You say I'm not cool. But cool is another word for cold. If I'm not cold, I'm hot. I know I'm hot.
Thanks for embracing it.


When I am at Hogwarts I will not:
Ask Harry if his Voldy senses are tingling.

When I am at Hogwarts I will not sing: "I'm Off to See the Wizard, the wonderful Wizard of Oz" when sent to the Headmasters office.


I was gifted, but the psychiatrist took away my powers.

Life was so simple when boys had cooties

You cry, I cry, you laugh, I laugh, you fall off a cliff, I laugh even harder

I'm the kind of person who will burst out laughing in the middle of a dead silence because of something that happened last year.

I'm the kind of person who can see tons of scary movies and not get scared, but screams at the top of their lungs when toast pops out of the toaster.

Right now I'm having amnesia and deja vu at the same time. I think I've forgotten this before.

I'm right 90 percent of the time, so why worry about the other 3?

They say "Guns don't kill people, people kill people." Well I think the guns help. If you stood there and yelled BANG, I don't think you'd kill too many people.

"Doctors say I have multiple personalities. We disagree with that."

"When life gives you lemons, make apple juice, then laugh while people try to figure out what the hell you did."

"It doesn't matter whether the glass is half empty or half full, just drink it and get it over with."

"I'm not afraid of Death. What's he gonna do,kill me?"

"One day your life will flash before your eyes, so make sure that it's worth watching."

"If you always fail the first time, don't try skydiving."

"I can only please on person per day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow's not looking good, either."

"1 out of every 4 people are insane. Look at your three best friends, if it's not them, it's you."

"There are no stupid questions, just stupid people."

"Don’t knock on death’s door. Ring the bell and run. He hates that."

"I do not suffer from insanity... I enjoy every minute of it."

"I smile cause I don't know what the hell is going on.
"
If your profile is long, copy and paste this on it to make it even longer.


You think you're all that and a bag of chips, well I'm all that and a bag of skittles. So taste my rainbow, freak!

Education is important, school however, is another matter.

Save the Earth, it's the only planet with chocolate.

Don't worry Pluto, I'm not a planet either.

"The pure and simple truth is rarely pure and never simple."

"Skill is being able to walk across Niagara Falls on a tightrope. Intelligence is not trying."

"Nice try, but you can't fool a fool."

"Nothing is impossible. Some things are just improbable."

"Hippopotomonstrosesquippedal... Fear of long words."

"We live in an age where pizza gets to your house before the police"

"If you don't like the way I drive, stay off the sidewalk."

Life's Tough, get a helmet!

"I didn't lose my mind, I sold it on eBay."

you say psycho like it's a bad thing

those who think they know everything, annoy those of us that do

"I'm going to live life or die trying"

"We didn’t lose...we just ran out of time"~unknown

Superman