Your page is awesome :D :D

Starless Sky: Chapter 1 - Last Two People on Earth
Jacob's POV:

I stared into her eyes and was mesmerized by her deep brown eyes.
"Jake, why are you staring at me?" said Nessie.
Her voice was so sweet I was mesmerized again.
"Jake?"
"Yeah?"
"You're drooling."
"I am?" I realized that I was drooling and staring at her. I was such an idiot. I couldn't help it. She was just so beautiful.
"Why were you staring at me?" she repeated.
I sighed. I knew this was going to happen someday. Only one more year until she was fully grown. I had to tell her. Bella would kill me, but it was worth it.
"You know how Sam and Emily are a couple?" I started.
"Yeah," she said slowly.
"Do you know what imprinting is?"
"No."
"It's this thing that happens to werewolves. It's like love at first sight. Once someone imprints, the imprinter can't live without the imprintee. They become soulmates. That's why Sam and Emily are together. Sam imprinted on Emily. Same with Jared and Kim, Paul and Rachel, Quil and Claire."
She took it all in, and a surprised expression came on her face.
"Quil and Claire are a couple?"
"They will be."
"Isn't Claire still a kid, about 9 years old, and isn't Quil 23?"
"Yeah, he imprinted on her when she was 2."
"Weird."
"About that...I imprinted, too," I blurted out.
She looked sad.
"Oh. On who? Is it Leah?"
Hell no!!! I thought to myself. The thought of doing it with Leah made me feel like throwing up."On you," I said.
She looked surprised, but she smiled.
"Are you serious?"
I nodded. "How do you feel? Think about it a little."
I put my arms around her waist, and she put her arms around my neck, and before I knew it, our lips entangled and I zoned out. I was overtaken by the softness of her lips, and the only thing I was focusing on was the kiss. I kissed her passionately, and she kissed
back. For just that moment, it felt like we were the last two people on Earth.
-----------------------------...
Please leave a comment.

TOP TEN HALLOWEEN
10. So...What'd you get in the sack?

9. Once you get under the sheet, start moaning and groaning!!!

8. Just hop on that broomstick and ride it!

7. Those small suckers are gone in a few licks!

6. I got the best piece from that house.

5. Quit screwing around on the porch!!!

4. Stick your hand in and guess what you're feeling....

3. It was so filled and heavy, I had to use TWO hands!!

2. They'll suck you dry if they get their teeth in you.

1. I bobbed and bobbed, but couldn't get my mouth around it!

Top Ten Reasons Why Trick-or-Treating is Better Than Sex

10. You are guaranteed to get at least a little something in the sack.

9. If you get tired, wait ten minutes and go back at it again.

8. The stranger you look, the easier it is to get some.

7. You don't have to compliment the person who gave it to you.

6. Person you are with doesn't fantasize you're someone else, you already are.

5. If you get a stomach ache, it won't last nine months.

4. If you wear leather and chains, no one thinks you're kinky.

3. Doesn't matter if kids hear you moaning and groaning.

2. Less guilt the next morning from over-indulging.

1. If you don't get what you want at one place, you can always go next door to get more!

Haha, at least you like the one with personality xD

As for what's up? Eh, boring shit, debate circuit at school, lessons, etc.

Imma Robert Pattison fan

I love that show xD lol. haha. thanks for the video. : )

a comment on Spike Tv's "Scream 2009"
for Breakout Performance-Male

32. davenet Posted on Sep 1 '09 at 11:26 PM

K this is best actor who happens to be a newcomer it's for acting...not who's the hottest newcomer (damn teenyboppers.) Taylor Lautner what had like 3 scenes, Robert Pattinson couldn't act himself out of a paper bag...The choices here are Chris Pine or Sam Worthington...My vote goes to Chris Pine

the part about Rob is funny!!

BEN, JACKSON & SHILOH ALL AUDITIONED FOR R-PATTZ'S EDWARD CULLEN ROLE







BEN, JACKSON & SHILOH ALL AUDITIONED FOR R-PATTZ'S EDWARD CULLEN ROLE
TWILIGHT DIRECTOR REVEALS WHICH ACTORS WERE IN THE RUNNING FOR ROBERT'S ROLE
Posted: Thursday 20 Aug 2009
Above: Ben, Jackson and Shiloh all auditioned for Rob's part
[Click here to see our Twilight Saga gallery]
ABOVE: The film's director Catherine Hardwicke (left) revealed how Rob got the part

ABOVE: Jackson eventually got the role of Jasper Hale

ABOVE: But Kristen made sure Rob got the part

TWILIGHT director Catherine Hardwicke has revealed who Robert Pattinson beat to the part of Edward Cullen.
Catherine said that there were three other finalists up for the part of Edward and she referred to them as ‘Bachelor one, two, three and four’.

She told fans at a convention in Arizona that actors Jackson Rathbone, Ben Barnes (who starred in Easy Virtue with Jessica Biel), and Shiloh Fernandez (who starred in Cadillac Records) were all up for the part.

Jackson eventually won the part of Cullen vampire Jasper Hale while Robert stole the most-wanted role.

And Catherine says it was Kristen who insisted Rob was the perfect Edward.

She previously revealed: “They came to my house - they had just met. I said, 'I know you just met, but I need you to do this scene. We're gonna do it in my bedroom, on the bed - and you're really gonna kiss’.

"Kristen already had to kiss three other guys that day, she was kind of sleepy and just hanging out - and then Robert appeared in the room.

"He was a bit nervous, because suddenly you've just met a girl and you're going to start making out with the person - and someone is filming.

"They had to do it three times, the first time, they went a little too far, and I was like, 'I can't show this to anybody at the studio!'

“After we finished the whole thing and we had met bachelors one, two, three and four, Kristen said, 'It has to be Rob.' She basically threatened me."
filming times studio finished met bachelors kristen rob basically threatened
filming times studio finished met bachelors kristen rob basically threatened filming times studio finished met bachelors kristen rob basically threatened

13 Ways To Annoy Voldemort
Ask him to watch 'American Pie'.
Force him to buy you a Ferrari.
Give him a bright-red wig and recommend him to join The Weasleys. Give him a bikini for his Christmas present.
Pretend to be the Sorting Hat and apologize--to wrongly sorted him to Slytherin, and he actually should be in Hufflepuff.
Dress up as Dumbledore and tell Voldemort that you wake from the death.
Steal his Teddy Bear.
Suggest him to leave Parselmouth and learn about Mokeymouth--monkey language.
Ask him to change the Death Eaters to Food Eaters.
Tell him that Wormtail and Bellatrix has a crush on him.
Call him Ickle-Voldykins. Tell him that he's been a 'naughty boy'. Force him to watch 'The Pussycat Dolls

A Longer List on "how to annoy voldemort"
Ask him why he 'doesn't have such a cool scar?'

Laugh at him.

Wake him up by singing Beach Boys songs in his ear. 'Round, round, get around, I get around...'

Knit him things. Really hideous things.

Give him kangaroo-ears for a month.

Smile during Death-Eater meetings and say you taught him everything he knows.

Chew bubblegum all the time.
Should he address you, your only response will be a series of huge bubbles in quick succession, the last of which will burst everywhere and make a mess.

Dance the Funky Chicken.

Ask him when was the last time he took a bath.

Pat him on the head and give him flowers when his plans are foiled yet again.

If you ever need to say 'Like taking candy from a baby', be sure to add 'Of course, SOME of us might find that harder than others.'
Stare pointedly at him.

Play 'knock-&-run' at his bedchamber door late at night.

Call him 'The-man-who-let-the-boy-live'

Ask why the Dark Mark couldn't look like something 'more socially acceptable?'

Insist that you have met chunks of cheese with more cunning plans than his.

Pinch him.
Make sure he squeals.

Be cheerful.

When he tries to impress you with his powers say 'Awwwww, lookit. Voldie's got a twiggle!'

Try to teach him to play a mouth organ.

Roll your eyes during plotting sessions and say things under your breath like 'You're the boss, boss' or 'It's your funeral.'

Greet him in the mornings with a sarcastic 'My sir, you look particularly menacing today.'

Taunt him about his middle name. 'Marvolo? Whats that, a washing detergent?'

Keep a 'good-behaviour chart'.
Award points and give out gold stars.

Magic-marker Potter-style glasses on him while he sleeps.

Apparate into and out of his room rapidly.
Do this non-stop for an hour. poof there poof gone poof there....

Play cards with him.
Tell him he has no poker-face and how does he expect to rule supreme without one?

Let off party-poppers in his face whenever the urge strikes you.
'Did you even HAVE a girlfriend? Like, ever?' .

Get a pair of finger puppets closely resembling himself and Harry Potter.
Re-enact all of Harry's victories over him in a spectacularly childish way. Be sure to give them both squeaky voices.

Anytime he enters any room, insist on entering first and announcing him grandly
In these announcements, fake a trumpet noise and give him an equally fake drumroll.

Exclaim sarcastically 'You're breakin' my little heart here, o dark one' whenever he starts to talk of what has caused to become who he is.

Encourage him to 'think happy thoughts!'

Ask him to give you written summaries of his sinister plots for revenge and war.
Correct his spelling.

Mock his choice of Quirrel as a 'host'.

Tell you think a yoga class could 'cure him of his wicked ways'

Get the song 'Mr. Tambourine Man' stuck in his head.

If he's having evil-plotter's-block in one of his scheming sessions 'Wingardium Leviosa' a light bulb to float above his head.

Turn it on. Look offended when he gets angry and say you 'thought you were helping!

Tell him constantly to stop repressing his anger.
Buy him a stress ball.

Hint that he is only a character in a book and will never triumph.

Call him Tommy-boy. If you're feeling gutsy, call him Voldie-poo.

Whack him in the arm and say 'mosquito' - every few minutes.

Say he 'looked better under the turban'

Eat his pet snake.
Offer him some.

Endeavour to teach him to steeple his fingers, lean back and say 'Eeeexcellent'.

Start drawing outlandish parallels between his life story and 'Star Wars'.

Talk at great length.

Be generally in awe of him and never look away.

'Imperius' his Death Eaters into a rousing chorus of 'All Things Bright And Beautiful'

Shower him with confetti and rice, anytime you think he needs to make a 'grand entry'

Paint all the Death-Eater masks with bright colours and glitter.

Throw him a 'care-bears' themed birthday party.

Tell him what Snape's really up to

Politely exclaim now and again that you 'don't know how he can be so afraid of dear old Dumbles'

Sing 'California Dreamin' at the top of your lungs when he's trying to have an 'evil moment'

Should you ever be eating with him - drum tunes with your cutlery, play with your food and blow bubbles in your chocolate milk.

Ask him to dance a polka with you.

Work cutesy phrases like 'pushing-up-daisies' and 'smooth-as-a-baby's-bottom' into conversation as much as possible.

Ask him if he's sure 'the whole evil-maniac-out-for-power-and... thing isn't getting a bit old?'

Get him to play 'Twister' with you.

Tell him you know this great therapist in London....

Throw tupperware parties.
Insist he sit through them.

Tell him you've met plently of people more evil than he.

Hide his teddy bear. That ALWAYS makes him cry.

Get him a plant. Act mortally offended when he doesn't water it and it dies.

Steal, snap and bury his wand.
Tell him Lucius did it.

Give Rita Skeeter full knowledge of his whereabouts and contact details.

Remind him that he isn't even really alive.

Write him a theme song. Start singing it whenever he is about to do or say something particularly clever and nasty.

Offer to sacrifice Draco Malfoy 'to the cause'

Insist on reading him bedtime stories. Include 'The Ugly Duckling'

Make vague allusions to Harry Potter being his son.

When he's done something particularly nasty - cross your arms, waggle a finger and say 'Now now, do you really think Salazar would have approved of that?'

Ask him how he can possibly wish to harm a single hair on the head of 'that sweet, innocent, cute little boy.'

Tell him Wormtail has a crush on him

Finish all your sentences with the words "in accordance with prophecy."

Leave disgusting and rotting dead things near him. Insist that it is 'Aromatherapy'

Begin any question you ask him with 'Riddle me this!' Emphasis on Riddle.

Do not EVER act in the slightest way intimidated by him.

Treat him as you would an eccentric aquaintance.

Cuddle him at random moments.

Sign him up for Little-League.

Ask him why he's afraid of a frail old man with a beard the size of a beehive and can't fight babies.

Throw biscuits at him. Constantly.

Tell him you think evil master plans of world domination are 'kind of girlie'

Quote Argus Filch.
Insist HE will one day rule the wizarding world.

Wonder aloud whether the name Voldemort commands as much respect as, say, Potter or Dumbledore.

Mimic everything he says in a sing-song voice. Mimic everything he does with exaggerated limb-movements.

Write sonnets for him.

Insist he help you with the newspaper crossword every morning.

Follow a few paces behind him, spraying everything he touches with a can of disinfectant.

Tell people he's 'really just a big softie'

Psychoanalyze him.

Conclude that he is 'mildy depressed' and 'a bit of a control-freak'.

Mock his baldness.

Smile and say loudly 'Who loves you, Volders?' at inopportune moments. (Ie: another of his attempted 'evil moments')

Get him drunk.

Drag out a banjo at Death Eater revels and start playing 'Kumbayah'

Let him catch you trying on Death-Eater robes.

Tell him he should smile more because "it really lights up his face"

Tell him "Be Harry Potter. Be alive "



Ways to Annoy, Embarass, and Severus Snape
Grab a hose. Corner him. Spray him down. Run... fast

Panic every time he picks up his spoon. And I mean, every time.

When he leans in to inspect your potion, smack his forehead, and run screaming "TAG!" at the top of your lungs

Trip him in the halls.

Give him a disgustingly cute teddy bear, and every time he throws it on the floor it says "Hi! Im cuddles, your special friend" in a cute voice.

Smile at him. All the time. And ignore his glares.

When he is sleeping sneak into his courters and draw a lightning mark on his forehead in magic marker

Steal his Teddy Bear. Tell him you'll give him back if he screams that he is in love with McGonagall. When he does, tell him you already destroyed it.

Put a note on his desk that says," Remember that night in 1972, Sev?"

Yell that his robes are on fire. Laugh when he panics. Then run when he finds out it was a prank

Hug him. Tell him Dumbledore told you to do it.

Poke him. All the time. saying : pokepokepokepokepokepokepokep... until he goes mad

When he is making a potion, sneak up behind him and yell: BOO!

If your brave call him Severus

If your stupid call him Sev

If you have a death wish call him Ickle little Sevy-kins

Give hints that McGonagall likes him

Give hints that Hermione likes him

Give hints that Malfoy is his number one fan.

Say what's up doc and nibble on a carrot when you walk in potions

Set a crazy chicken loose in his office.

Show all the 'Severus Snape fan girls' his address

Name your quill Severus. Talk to it. (But if it talks back, go to Madam Pomfrey for you might have brain damage)

Eat cake in class. Ask him if he wants to lick the plate.

Turn his hair blonde and make it gelled back. Claim that he is Carlisle Cullen

Make him sing the Barney I love you song.

Turn him into a girl, in fifth year, and is in Griffindor. Make him, I mean her Hot.

Duck tape him to a chair, and make him watch Potter Puppet pals

Tackle him. Claim that he was holding a bomb. Then walk away like nothing happened

Tell Peeves to spread around that he is really Harry's father.

Give him a Happy potion, and watch the chaos begin

Make him wear a small red dress. Take pictures

Glue him to a pole


101 Things Not To Do At Hogwarts
1. If a classmate falls asleep, I will not take advantage of that fact and draw a Dark Mark on their arm.
2. I will not sing “We’re off to see the wizard, the wonderful wizard of Oz” when being sent to the Headmaster’s office.
3. I will not play poker or bridge with Professor Trelawney’s tarot deck.
4. Seamus Finnegan is not “after me Lucky Charms.”
5. I will not draw mustaches, glasses, scars, devil horns, or other paraphernalia on the paintings in Hogwarts while the subjects are sleeping. They do not find it amusing.
6. I will not take out a life insurance policy on Harry Potter.
-6b. Neither will I take one out on the new DADA teacher.
7. Bringing fortune cookies to Divination class does not count for extra credit.
8. I will not change gravity on the Hogwarts grounds. My fellow students do not need to develop extra muscles and jumping into an orbit is not funny.
9. I am not the Wicked Witch of the West.
-9b. Neither is Professor Umbridge.
10. I will not ask Harry Potter who died and made him boss.
11. I will not follow potion instructions in reverse order “to see what happens.”
12. I will not walk up to a Hufflepuff and ask if he/she is going to huff and puff and blow my house down.
13. I will not accept anything edible from a Weasley.
-13b. Especially if it is offered with a compensation for any damages.
14. Hogwarts is not in the flight path of any Muggle airport, and Muggle airplanes cannot crash into Hogwarts. That being the case, there is no need to have first years standing on the spires of Hogwarts waving torches screaming "Go away, go away!!"
15. I will not ask for advice from Peeves on how to wreak havoc.
-15b. This goes for Fred and George, too.
16. Making rumors about Harry and Draco's secret love life is not funny and it will stop soon.
17. I will not suggest to Fred and George that they invent and sell Anti-Anti-Cheating Charm quills.
18. I will not tell first years that the best way to study is to stay up all night balancing your textbook on your head, as gravity will cause the information to sink through the skull and into the brain.
-18b. Having not done this, I will not stay up all night to laugh at said first years.
19. I will not point to Harry Potter’s scar and ask if his Voldy senses are tingling.
20. I will not organize a Junior Death Eaters Training Camp at Hogwarts. I will not hand out medals for "Hexing Harry Potter,” "Endangering a teacher’s life by jinxing,” or “Throwing a person from the Astronomy Tower.” I will not send the latter to Professor Snape and make him an honorary member.
21. I will not add "according to the prophecy" at the end of all my sentences to raise my Divination grade.
22. I will not refer to the Accio charm as "The Force.”
23. I will not push Professor Flitwick from his stack of books claiming I need them for my studies.
24. I will not spike my best friend’s pumpkin juice and tell him to go hit on Professor McGonagall.
-24b. Or Professor Snape.
25. When asked a question by a teacher I will not inform them that the answer is protected by a Fidelius Charm and I am not the Secret Keeper.
26. I will not hiss at Harry Potter instead of talking.
27. I will not bring a Magic Eight Ball to Divination class.
28. I will not organize a witch burning, even if I have been assigned to do a presentation on Muggle history in my Muggle Studies class.
29. I will not tell Oliver Wood that Quidditch as been permanently canceled.
-29b. Having not done this, I will not tell him that it is Marcus Flint's fault.
30. I will not bewitch Percy Weasley's prefect badges to yell "I'm in love with myself!" every time it senses movement.
31. The Easter Bunny is not Jesus’ Animagus form.
32. I will not sign up the Great Lake at Hogwarts for the Summer Olympics swimming competitions.
-32b. I will not take a hippogriff to the Summer Olympics to get an unfair advantage at the Equestrian competitions
33. I will not convince first years that the new password to Gryffindor Tower is "Petrificus Totalus" and must be recited with their wands pointed at themselves.
34. I will not give a "Chosen by whom, actually?" shirt to Harry Potter for Christmas.
35. I will not refer to Aragog as “Charlotte.”
36. Crucifixes do not ward off Slytherins.
-36b. I should not test that.
37. I will not jump up and yell "VOLDERMORT, RUN!" in the middle of a D.A. meeting.
38. If Death Eaters attack Hogsmeade, I will not point at the Dark Mark and shout “To the Batmobile, Robin!”
39. I will not tell everyone that Draco Malfoy started the Hug A Muggle Campaign.
40. I will not use magic to change test questions into those I can answer.
41. I will not tell Ronald Weasley that his sister was caught snogging any of the following: 1) Draco Malfoy, 2) Any other Slytherin, 3) Michael Corner, 4) Any other Ravenclaw, 5) Zacharias Smith, 6) Any other Hufflepuff, 7) Neville Longbottom, 8) Any other Gryffindor.
42. Asking Ron Weasley and Hermione Granger "When's the wedding?" is only funny a few times.
43. I will not lock the Gryffindors and Slytherins in a room and take bets on who will come out alive.
44. I will stop asking the Arithmancy teacher what the square root of -1 is.
-44b. And Hermione Granger.
45. I will not dress in long black capes with hoods. Draco Malfoy tried this and almost peed his pants. I must learn from his experience.
46. I will not tell Professor Binns that he is dead and a) needs to move on, or b) get a life.
47. I will not change the speed of light to 30 mph and enjoy watching my fellow students and the teachers find out about the miracles of relativity.
48. I will not start a betting pool on the fate of this year’s Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher, as it is tasteless and tacky, not a clever money-making concept.
49. I will not hand out shirts that say “Potter 6, Voldemort 0.”
50. Astronomy class will not cause me to be abducted by aliens.
51. I will not convince the first years that "Death Eaters" is the name for a cookery club specialized in experimental dishes.
52. I will not start a howler chain-letter saying "Your life will be cursed for seven years if you don’t send this to 10 fellow students within 15 minutes."
53. I will not melt if water is poured over me.
-53b. Neither will Professor Umbridge.
54. I will not bewitch my cauldron to change the freezing-point of water. I will not ask Professor Snape why my potion is freezing while the cauldron is heated. Nor will I point out that I doubted from the beginning that he would be able to sort that out for me.
55. I will not tell the first years on the Hogwarts Express that they have free choice of house if they swim over the lake.
56. Professor Flitwick’s first name is not Yoda.
57. It is generally accepted that cats and dragons cannot interbreed and I should not attempt to disprove this theory, no matter how wicked the result would be.
58. Sneaking slugs into Ron Weasley's food is not funny.
59. I will not tell Professor Snape that we the student body have been discussing his role in unfortunate events involving the late headmaster and have deemed him a miserable and pathetic excuse of a human being.
-59b. I will also not suggest that he isn’t even human.
60. If the thought of a spell makes me giggle for longer than 15 seconds, I am to assume that I am not allowed to do it.
61. I do not know the Avada Kedavra curse, and pretending I do in front of people who annoy me is not funny, no matter how much they injure themselves diving for cover.
62. I will not hang up a sign saying "Reserved for Draco Malfoy" at the girls’ bathroom door.
63. I am not allowed to ask pureblood students things like, “If your parents got divorced, would they still be brother and sister?”
64. I will not tell Dobby that Harry Potter's one greatest desire is for a pit bull named Ripper.
65. I will not tell Professor McGonagall about the great Muggle enhancer out there called botox.
-65b. I will not tell her that it would make those thin tight lips of hers into pouty bodacious things.
--65c. I will not tell her that Professor Dumbledore would particularly enjoy looking at those pouty bodacious things.
66. "42" is not the answer to every question on the O.W.L.s.
-66b. Not even if the boy who’s whispering this to you tells you he heard it from Hermione Granger herself.
67. I will not set Ravenclaws on the task of calculating the exact value of pi.
68. Getting the Sorting Hat drunk only makes his song funny the first time.
69. Calling the Ghostbusters is a cruel joke to play on the resident ghosts and poltergeists.
70. I will not ask Professor Flitwick how Santa Claus is doing.
71. Asking “How do you keep a Gryffindor in suspense?” and walking away is only funny the first time.
72. I will not ink my owl's feet, have it walk across parchment, and sell the results as cheat sheets for Ancient Runes, even though Crabbe and Goyle keep falling for it.
73. I will not change the speed of sound so that communication by owl is quicker than talking to each other.
74. I will not point out to Professor Sinistra that Astrology needs to be rewritten as Pluto is no longer a planet.
75. I will not encourage bungee jumping from the Astronomy Tower, nor do it myself, as it is disrespectful of Professor Dumbledore’s memory.
76. I will not tell Gryffindor first years that sneaking into the Slytherin dormitory is a rite of passage to truly become a Gryffindor.
77. Ravenclaws do not find a sign saying "The library is closed for an indefinite time period" amusing in any sense.
-77b. Neither does Hermione Granger.
78. I will not tell Professor Snape he needs to go to his "Happy Place."
79. If I insist on carrying out my plans of producing "Riddle-De-Dee: The Voldemort Musical," I will do so under a nom-de-plume.
80. I will not tell Professor Trelawney that my teacup says she's lying.
81. I will not imitate Steve Irwin while in Care of Magical Creatures class, even if I have the best fake Australian accent.
82. I will not enchant the telescopes on the Astronomy Tower to display non-existent constellations during O.W.L. exams.
83. My headmaster's name is Albus Dumbledore, not "Gandalf."
84. Underwater broom riding does not distinguish the master from the layman. It is not required to become member of any Quidditch team.
85. I will not use Legilimency to get the right answers from my teachers.
86. I will not use Legilimency to get what my fellow students think are the right answers.
-86b. This also pertains to Hermione Granger.
87. I will not psycho-analyze Professor Trelawney, as it clouds her Inner Eye.
88. "To conquer the earth with an army of flying monkeys" is not an appropriate career choice.
89. I will not put a paper sign on Firenze's back saying "Pony Rides: 3 Sickles.”
90. Growing marijuana or hallucinogenic mushrooms is not "an extra credit project for Herbology."
91. Neil Gaiman is not spying on us.
92. I will not point out to the house-elves how much sushi could be made of the giant squid.
93. I will not suggest that we read coffee beans in Divination instead of tea leaves for a bit of a change.
94. I will not tell the teachers that they cannot assign homework, as we do not actually go home during the school year to do it.
95. The Giant Squid is not an appropriate date for the Yule Ball.
96. I will not make fun of Hufflepuffs because their house colors make them look like bees.
97. I will not use silencing charms on my Prefects.
98. I will not to conjure the words "DRINK ME" onto the vial of any potion in Professor Snape's classroom.
99. I will not add a spoonful of sugar to each potion I make. Mary Poppins was not a brewer of potions.
100. Stealing first-years' clothing and then tossing it into and around the Whomping Willow is highly frowned upon.
-100b. I am also not allowed to tell them that the Whomping Willow is inaccurately named and is actually a wonderful spot for peaceful reading.
101. I will not tell Harry Potter that he is fictional and that everything he has worked for is nothing more than a couple of best selling novels and loads of bad fanfiction.