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Will We Soon Have To Fly Naked?

First the shoe bomber. Now the underwear bomber. Looks like we may soon have to strip down at the airport. Maybe the new trend will be to fly naked. Better cover your eyes Timmy boy or you might be traumatized for life by grandma's sagging bosom and grandpa's withered, well, you get the picture.

I remember the first time airport security personnel made me take off my shoes. I was baffled. What the heck could be in my shoes? But, obediently, I took them off. Then he said, "And your belt." Oh. OK. My belt. Because that's a dangerous weapon. I mean, my dad used his belt as a tool of punishment when I was a kid, but I didn't see the need to remove my belt just to get through security. But again, I obeyed. And as I was taking the belt off, I apparently switched to autopilot because I began unzipping my pants to take them off as well. Oops.

Instead of stripping down to our birthday suits as I seemed so ready to do that day, passengers intending to fly might actually soon be required to pass through a rather revealing scanner, which some critics are calling the equivalent of a "digital strip search."

Thanks to Umar Farouk Abdulmutallab and his ridiculous Christmas Day shenanigans, airport security has decided they need to see what people have lurking in their underpants. Or, as former Homeland Security chief Michael Chertoff told the Washington Post, "You’ve got to find some way of detecting things in parts of the body that aren’t easy to get at. It’s either pat-downs or imaging.”

According to the Transportation Security Administration (TSA), there are already 40 imaging devices at 19 airports with 30 more on the way. Plus, there are 150 other machines coming that will magically unveil the contours of your naked body, but your face and private parts "will be blurred" for the person in a separate room viewing the scans. Thank God for that or else I'd be worried about what the viewer would actually be doing with his time.

In my opinion, the potential to get scanned at the airport is just one more reason to get in great shape. Wouldn't want the guy viewing the images to snicker about your fat rolls or protruding love handles, would ya? And, don't even think about sneaking anything (even if it's legal) in your pants anymore. Gotta leave that pocket vibrator at home now, ladies.

Have you ever been patted down or scanned at the airport and had something embarrassing come to light? I forgot about the 3 oz. rule one time and tried to carry on a giant bottle of Southern Comfort. Yeah, they took it. I cried. But I moved on and never made that mistake again. What's the worst thing you've been caught with?
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Top Opinion

  • RicemanSTM ~POTL~PWCM~JLA~AFCL 2009/12/29 18:30:25
    RicemanSTM ~POTL~PWCM~JLA~AFCL
    +11
    You know this would be a WHOLE lot easier without all the political correctness...we combine common sense profiling with Israeli behavioral monitoring and we'd have a 99.9% success rate. Don't believe me? When was the last El Al lost a plane or had one hijacked? Can't search the brown guy with a beard because profiling is wrong...but it's okay to strip search the white old woman...she's dangerous...in fact...little Johnny's Matchbox could be used as a weapon...better call Incompetano! He might be a terrorist...Star Trek's Mr. Scott had it right..."The more you over think the plumbing, the easier it is to stop up the drain...." Sorry, profiling works, just ask the Israelis...

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  • JOHNATHAN 2011/02/15 03:39:48
    JOHNATHAN
    +2
    uh.............
  • ernestbennett 2010/01/08 21:32:42
    ernestbennett
    just give me a fig tree to cover my personals and i'll be ok
  • Daryl 2010/01/06 13:21:55
    Daryl
    Planning on never flying again if they start using the imaging device at my local airport.
  • mojo 2010/01/05 17:33:51
    mojo
    I thought having to take my shoes off was bad enough when boarding an aircraft but now there are talks about uk police removing there boots to search a terrorist suspects property and putting boots on their siffer dogs paws before they can enter what is going on in the WEST today just madness will someone get a grip.
  • Billyk75 2010/01/05 17:07:25
    Billyk75
    Maybe in the Playboy jet.
  • WhenLifeGivesYouLemons 2010/01/05 16:05:29
    WhenLifeGivesYouLemons
    +3
    Knock Knock?

    Who's There?

    9/11

    9/11 who?

    YOU SAID YOU WOULD NEVER FORGET!!!!!
  • riceroni ~ POTC**FUKU2** 2010/01/05 14:10:14
  • Blondie... riceron... 2010/01/05 15:45:25
  • DanSuciu riceron... 2010/08/27 15:51:18
  • mojo 2010/01/05 14:05:27
    mojo
    How about the holes in the human body ask yourselves will flying naked work.
  • dee 2010/01/05 03:02:25
    dee
    follow the Israeli's check methode. They don't make mistakes. Screw PC.
  • dee 2010/01/05 02:57:04
    dee
    +1
    there are few naked bodies worth getting excited over..... clothes morph us into acceptable visions of sexual desirability......
  • riceron... dee 2010/01/05 14:16:20
  • mojo riceron... 2010/01/05 15:35:24
    mojo
    +1
    How about when someone accuse's you of farting in public is that you how many times would you hear that on aplane full of people.
  • mojo mojo 2010/01/05 15:38:36
    mojo
    sorry a aircraft would sound better.
  • mojo riceron... 2010/01/05 16:26:12
    mojo
    LOVE IS IN THE AIR EVERYWHERE I LOOK AROUND LOVE IS IN THE AIR EVERY SIGHT AND EVERY SOUND JOHN PAUL YOUNG
  • Sketch Flygirl 2010/01/05 02:43:43
    Sketch Flygirl
    +1
    With those scans, we should dance and give them a show...see how many will laugh.
    XD
  • Catita 2010/01/05 01:21:19
    Catita
    if we had a government that would put the country first and their greed and personal agendas last, and the agencies in charge were willing to share instead of holding their knowledge and the heads of some of those agencies were people with experience and not appointees of the pres. we could feel safe, unfortunately we can't.
  • Attila Proper 2010/01/04 19:30:25
    Attila Proper
    I was recently pulled from line and wanded at my tiny hometown airport. The TSA official told he if the wand detected anything, he'd have to pat me down. Well, the wand did not "go off" but he patted me down anyway.

    I never carry anything on my person that might ring a bell and instead store everything in my clothes pockets into the flap of my travel briefcase to be scanned. I have no implants of any kind on my body, I never say anything to the TSA people or even look at them. I've never been pulled from line at any airport in the world.

    I think the TSA has orders to pull a number of "unlikely" suspects from line and harass them in front of as many people as possible just so PC types will think the system is not profiling. And I think that is a stupid way to run a security program.
  • Jeremy 2010/01/04 18:30:06 (edited)
    Jeremy
    +1
    "The fact that the members of the terrorist group Al Qaeda are primarily Middle Eastern does not at all justify any form of profiling at all." -Then what does moron? That was a freaking stupid thing to say. What is it going to take for the pansies of America to wake up and realize, YEAH, we need to do something to protect ourselves! I tell you what. Let me punch you in the face. You are not allowed to retaliate. Then I will do it again even harder. Still, you must sit there. How many times will I have to punch you in the nose before you get tired of it and react?
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 ... 22 Next » Last »

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Patty Victoria

Patty Victoria

CA, US

2009/10/23 23:23:01

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