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Why do people hate me just because I'm shy?

Katie 2010/02/06 19:56:00
It's no fair! I'm shy myself and it's annoying when people ask "why are you so quiet?" What if I have nothing to talk about? What if they think my voice is horrible? What if they think I'm ugly? Whenever I get friends, they usually forget about me and befriend someone else. I wish I could overcome my shyness, but I can't. It's who I am. Why do some people hate me just because I'm shy?
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  • Angel 2012/12/01 18:24:20
    Angel
    +15
    i am soooooo happy that otheres are in the same situation. i barely have friends.its like my voice gos down when people talk 2 me.lol

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  • ITALIAN CLICKER 2010/02/07 23:26:26
    ITALIAN CLICKER
    +1
    HATE IS A STRONG WORD. A LOT OF PEOPLE ARE JUST INSECURE AND THEY DON'T KNOW HOW TO HANDLE OTHERS FEELINGS. DON'T LET THIS BOTHER YOU---DIFFERENT STROKES FOR DIFFERENT FOLKS---JUST BE YOU, AND IF THEY DON'T LIKE IT, WELL, THEIR LOSS!
  • bccxcc 2010/02/07 20:11:46
    bccxcc
    +2
    I'm very shy and I hate it. My friends have learned to live with it though
  • Albedo 9.0 2010/02/07 14:41:17
    Albedo 9.0
    +1
    Because shy people are the worst!! They cause most all problems in the world. Hitler was a shy man! and look what he did!
    Just kidding! relax I'm sure no one actually hates you. More likely they are impatient because they "do" like you and want to incorporate you into their lives! So try as hard as you can to quit being a big Nelly and get out into that world that is calling for you my friend!
  • crimson811 Albedo 9.0 2011/04/12 18:58:52
    crimson811
    +1
    no albedo, hilter wasn't a shy man, he was an anti-social man...not the same thing!
  • Albedo 9.0 crimson811 2011/04/15 21:28:55
    Albedo 9.0
    +1
    I think you're being a little serious but shyness is a form of anti-social behavior because it keeps you from being social ergo anti-social. lol You must be bored; this is kind of an old blog.
  • ♫ idealshine ♫ 2010/02/07 13:46:21
    ♫ idealshine ♫
    +1
    They´re just scared, because they don´t know what do u think about them, they don´t know nothing about u and that´t the thing they´re hate..
  • Jayce Evans 2010/02/07 09:59:56
    Jayce Evans
    +1
    i love you.


    "what if i have nothing to talk about?" is a fine question, but the other two you asked seem to be asked out of low self-esteem.
    don't think that way! if you are confident with yourself, others *will* see that! i'm not just saying it, it's true!

    maybe you are an introvert and not an extrovert. i have a few friends who are "shy" but really it's just because they prefer to be alone rather than with people. they are introverts, whereas most people are extroverts. that's why introverts are usually seen as "weird" or something.

    i really have no idea why people hate you for it. i don't think anyone has the right to hate you because you're different than them. people are different and some people haven't learned to accept that fact.
  • Demon Dolphin 2010/02/07 08:23:22
    Demon Dolphin
    +1
    Me too. I'm too afraid to talk to anyone. D:
    I have this preconceived notion that people automatically dislike me.
    So I'm afraid that I'll just annoy people whenever I try to talk to them.
  • MeG .__. RainbowFire .__. 2010/02/07 06:43:10
    MeG .__. RainbowFire .__.
    +3
    Oh, Katie, I'm sorry to hear that. :( Some people just don't understand. I'm not a very shy person when I'm online. When it comes to real-life situations, I'm shy around some people.
  • Katie MeG .__... 2010/02/15 22:52:28
    Katie
    +2
    Same here. For some reason, I'm more outgoing if I am only talking to one person. I'm a lot more shy around groups of people.
  • MeG .__... Katie 2010/02/16 12:28:31
    MeG .__. RainbowFire .__.
    +1
    Oh, that's really understandable. It's just that some people are so outgoing that they cannot understand. But don't worry, just be yourself. :)
  • birdman 2010/02/07 06:09:39
    birdman
    +2
    Some times being quiet if good. That being said I do sympathize with you. I wish I knew what to say more often to start conversations and get the social ball rolling. Just me I suppose. One thing to remember is most people are more concerned with how 'they' are presenting themselves and how people look at them than care as much about how you or any other person in the room looks or acts.
    That little info helped me a lot in social situations that I to often felt lost or in a near panic with.

    Hope that helped.
  • Bear 2010/02/07 04:44:36
    Bear
    +2
    If they hate you just because of that, they are not worth knowing.
  • PrincessKitty 2010/02/07 03:39:40
    PrincessKitty
    +2
    Aw, I'm sorry honey. Some people just don't understand, and some unfortunately just don't care. People tend to pick out those who are different and tease them for it. It's hard to overcome shyness because there's so many different reasons for it. All I can say is try to focus on the kind of person you are. You're not ugly, you're not a freak, you're just you. All I can say is maybe try to talk to people online and work on your social skills. Once you make friends that way, it can help you build up your confidence and then maybe it'll be a little easier in public.
    I mean, to me, it sounds like you have low self-esteem, which is really common in women, and it's hard to overcome. If you ever need someone to talk to though, feel free to message me. I know what it is to feel the way you do :) You're not alone sweetie.
  • Katie Princes... 2010/02/15 22:54:52
    Katie
    +1
    Thank you.
  • Gr8hope 2010/02/07 03:25:54
    Gr8hope
    +2
    I suspect you are still young and will learn self confidence as you experience more in life. It's ok to listen, you will learn a lot that way. I am quieter than most people too, I don't need to be the center of attention, I enjoy observing.
    Try to remember that most people are concerned with their own appearance and how to impress others. Some compensate for insecurity by being loud.
    You seem very nice. Don't force conversations, be yourself,
    good people will allow you to do that. If they cannot accept who you are, they are not good friend material.
  • Gun665 2010/02/07 03:19:56
  • patcpu 2010/02/07 02:44:04
    patcpu
    Katie
    just relax, you know when it's safe to open up
    remember what mother said "don't talk to strangers "
    and then there's all that fraud artist fear
    best thing to do is just be yourself, don't worry about how others are reacting to your nature
    people don't hate you for being the way you are
    people are taught to be rude when they don't get exactly what their expecting
    people have a very hard time accepting peace in their lives
    people are competing in a communication war

    pat
  • sweetguy45 2010/02/07 02:21:45 (edited)
    sweetguy45
    +1
    Don't fret, If the people that you meet don't accept your shyness then they aren't your true friends to begin with and you should seek out real friends that accept your ways no matter what.
    I don't hate you because to like or hate you I would have to get to know you and as of right now I don't. I do however accept your ways and perhaps on your ways we can build a friendship.
  • danny0091 2010/02/07 02:09:23
    danny0091
    +1
    I feel your pain everything you said thats me...I am slowly learning to overcome that ..Look back into your childhood maybe its a bad experience you had when talking to someone maybe your parents told you not to talk to strangers..etc.......Just dont pay attencion to what other people think
  • Katie danny0091 2010/02/15 22:56:45
    Katie
    +1
    I didn't have a bad experience or anything. There's a lot of reasons why I'm shy. I pay to much attention to what others think, and most of the time I don't know what to talk about.
  • Larson Whipsnade 2010/02/07 01:59:22
    Larson Whipsnade
    +1
    People don't hate you because you're shy, You're shy because you think that people hate you. They really don't, but you put such a wall between yourself and them that they eventually give up trying to get through it, and go to someone else. That makes you even harder on yourself, and you build that wall even thicker and higher. You need to examine all the likeable things about yourself and concentrate on putting those on display so others can see them, and stop dwelling on all the things you don't like about yourself, so that maybe, other people will notice them less. There has to be something you like about yourself. a talent, a hobby, an interest- something you're good at- start with that! let other people see it, and get interested in you.
  • joejoe 2010/02/07 01:19:36
    joejoe
    +1
    People may think you're conceited. Don't worry, quiet people observe more and understand others better. While others are busy shooting off their mouths, people like you are quietly absorbing. I would value your opinion much more so than some opinionated blabber mouth. You obviously are living among shallow people. You'll eventually find the right mix. I think there's a book out entitled something like: "The Introvert Advantage" or something like that. Maybe this will help you.
  • Autarchic 2010/02/07 00:25:28
    Autarchic
    +1
    I don't hate you! Tell me who hates you, I'll bunch them in the eye!
  • Dagon 2010/02/07 00:21:31
  • ding~a~ling 2010/02/07 00:11:32 (edited)
    ding~a~ling
    +1
    u dont seem very shy
    but yeah im not shy at home
    when i get new friends and they come over there like wtf? y arent u like dis at school im just like idk
    i normally stick to shy people thoe cuz its easier to talk to shy people then loud people
  • jacose 2010/02/07 00:06:16
    jacose
    you can't hate someone for being shy...you just simply ignore them because they figuratively aren't there
  • Don 2010/02/06 23:56:19
    Don
    +1
    Thers an old song.I Forget its name.But the Closest I can find it a Hank Williams jr. talking about---If You Don't Like Hanh Williams,You can Kiss My Arse...
  • RV ~ The Peacekeeper of PHAET 2010/02/06 23:48:33
    RV ~ The Peacekeeper of PHAET
    don´t think to much about those people. you are who you are and no one should change this just be who you are
  • overhead440 2010/02/06 23:26:55
    overhead440
    +1
    It`s all about tolerence, in any relationship with other people, but when we spite we have a level of tolerence,as people have a little wiggle room with that some more or less than others. This is also created with bonding over a period of time as comfort levels increase with trust...
  • Bob, the reasonable one 2010/02/06 22:08:44
    Bob, the reasonable one
    +1
    No one hates you, they just are unable to relate to you, they don't have the communication skills yet..I was a shy kid also...you just have to find where you shine...then others will find a way to relate to you...you're going to be just fine...
  • shadow 2010/02/06 22:05:04
    shadow
    +1
    I doubt they hate you. But it is possible that it is hard for them to understand you because they are such social butterflies..... doubt hate understand social butterflies
  • alexandra 2010/02/06 21:58:18
    alexandra
    +1
    don't worry..I'm just like you...i just don't care what people think about me...i suppose that with your friends you're not shy, isn't? you should just don't give a shit about people's opinion and try to be confident in yourself
  • jess 2010/02/06 21:54:13
    jess
    +1
    I used to have that problem but i learned to come out of my shell. Dont feel intimidated by people because they are no better than you. People dont hate you, they just think that by you not talking as much as they are, you are hiding something or thinking that you hate them. Its a hard thing to overcome! I use to ask myself what was wrong with me. I cant think of anything to say sometimes and thats fine! But if someone is talking about something your interested in, feel free to jump in and speak up!
  • emmamess ~ In My Conscience... 2010/02/06 21:52:13
    emmamess ~ In My Conscience I Trust ~`
    +3
    Same reason those same ppl probably hate me cuz I'm bold! They dislike themselves so they look for reasons to dislike others.
  • Bob, th... emmames... 2010/02/06 22:06:12 (edited)
    Bob, the reasonable one
    +2
    No, it attracts!!!! you're like the backdoor porch light and I'm a moth!!! beating my head at the light bulb!! boing!! boing!! boing!! Ouch!!! :)
  • emmames... Bob, th... 2010/02/06 22:49:18
    emmamess ~ In My Conscience I Trust ~`
    +2
    lol - well my apologies - I hope I didn't cause a concussion or that my bulb hasn't blinded you to the reality that in just another opinionated idiot on SH.
  • Bob, th... emmames... 2010/02/06 23:27:12
    Bob, the reasonable one
    +1
    I may not respond to all of your posts, but I do read quite a few...I enjoy them alot...and for the concussion...I man up and take a tylenol and I'm good to go!!! :) Now go and kick some butt!!! :)
  • overhea... emmames... 2010/02/06 23:30:32
    overhead440
    Sometimes feel that is overbearing and it makes them feel uncomfortable...
  • jitko 2010/02/06 21:46:13
    jitko
    +2
    Why would you give a damn about folks who "hate" you for not talking? I think you are hyper-sensitive about how people will react to you and so you don't act. When you constantly worry about what everyone will think, you cannot be your authentic self.

    If there really are people who dislike you for being shy then they are shallow and not worth your time and concern. There are lots of great people on this planet; don't waste any of your life on the hateful and/or shallow people.

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