Why do people hate me just because I'm shy?

by Katie Posted 2010/02/06 19:56:00

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It's no fair! I'm shy myself and it's annoying when people ask "why are you so quiet?" What if I have nothing to talk about? What if they think my voice is horrible? What if they think I'm ugly? Whenever I get friends, they usually forget about me and befriend someone else. I wish I could overcome my shyness, but I can't. It's who I am. Why do some people hate me just because I'm shy?

+17

Angel 2012/12/01 18:24:20

+15
i am soooooo happy that otheres are in the same situation. i barely have friends.its like my voice gos down when people talk 2 me.lol
>> See Replies

shaunarae! 2011/07/12 16:55:01

+2
Katie, I feel exactly the same. Im very shy in fact. A good way to over come this is to maybe have some girls over that you think could be your friend. Get hyper!! Let them see the real you no matter how embarrassing it is. I did this. The first time I embarrassed myself. I didn't talk to anyone for almost a year. Then I tried again, we all became best friends. We all have our hyper and crazy sides that are DYING to show someone how they are. Try it girly!! It'll help! I promise!!(:

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Green 2011/05/20 19:17:39

+1
I know. I get harrassed by a lot of people at school because I'm quiet. They keep coming to me and asking me why I'm so quiet. That's like asking why're you so loud? Because that's who you are. You're a loud person. I'm quiet; it's who I am. God, how stupid can people get? Also people keep asking me why I never talk. If they weren't so ignorant they'd realise they're asking a question that wouldn't probably get an answer, because 'I never talk'. The question itself is so stupid. It's like asking a blind man, 'why can't you see?'. People just don't know when to leave others alone. I just hate the children at school, and it's so frustrating because I let all my anger, that I've kept bottled up at school, out at home! I keep pushing the people I love away beause of something that isn't really they're fault! If people just let others be themselves then there wouldn't be all this bullying going on around the world. People just can't accept someone different to them. I'm an introvert and sometimes I think extroverts will never understand me.

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Pocahon... to Green 2011/08/06 12:24:30

+1
I like how you embrace your qualities! Don't ever let stupid people bring you down!

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mackinzie 2011/05/01 22:16:49

+1
Just me yourself don't care what they say . When they ask that just say because that's how I am. I have the same problems but I'm used to it.

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haley 2010/12/22 20:19:48

+5
me to i feel that way to katie people always say hey why are you so quit i say nothing its not my fault i am so shy at home i am crazy thats cause i am around mty family i dont see why people hate me

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lala 2010/11/23 00:42:35

+5
i feel the exact same way. why they do that? idk. i try to overcome my shyness and sometimes it seems to work and sometimes it doesnt. so i dont know what to follow anymore; be who u r and ppl will automaticaaly like u, or it doesnt matter what others think and u should continue being the way u r? i guess its a mystery. i myself am on a personality quest as of now. the road ahead? too long to predict...

oh and btw, the same things happens with me with friends; i think they r starting to like me too, and it lasts a few days, or if im REAALLY lucky, a few weeks, then b4 i know it, they have already left me, are friends with everyone else BUT me, and are totally ignoring me to the point where we dont even exchange friendly "hi's!" anymore for no reason whatsoever. i hate it but i guess society will act a certain way and theres nothing much we can do to change them; but just think "hey, i am who i am, and if u like it, good, it if u dont like it, well then lick my ass." and just to learn to accept and appreciate urself for who u are.
also, thnx for being so honest. its nice to know that there r still certain ppl out there who are not afraid to speak out their heart like u just did. idk if what i just wrote was any help, but reading what u wrote sure helped me feel less lonely.

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Pocahon... to lala 2011/08/07 19:34:06

JUST LOVE YOURSELF NO MATTER WHAT! A BIG NO-NO IS TO TAKE THINGS PERSONALLY! I STOPPED AND IT HELPS SO MUCH. READ "THE 4 AGRREMENTS"!

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jenny 2010/11/16 04:15:22

+3
i used to be shy but i stopped n so far its goooooooooooooooooooooooooooood um sory if it not helpful.....lol

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cestmonopinion 2010/11/15 16:50:35

+3
Why do people hate you because you’re shy? It’s really quite simple: social people are used to being rewarded by others with feedback that indicates how cool and likeable they are. Shy people, through no fault of their own, do not provide this instantaneous satisfaction. When this positive social feedback is missing, social people feel insecure because the only way they know that they are, in fact, cool and likeable is by the reactions of others. In short, shy people make non-shy people feel icky and unsure of themselves and they hate you for that.

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rebecca 2010/10/31 22:32:51

+1
It is annoying when people always ask "Why are you so quiet?" "How come you don't talk a lot?" I Hate it. It's not that I'm all that shy, I mean I am a little but that's not the only reason i don't talk a lot. Also I'm not like un-confident in myself either. I know i look good most of the time and I'm smarter than a lot of people, but i just don't care which makes some people hate me for some reason. Plus guys are a lot more easier to talk to than girls. (and i am a girl) You should talk to guys to become un-shy!

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cestmon... to rebecca 2010/11/15 16:52:20

In the case of people always harping about why you don’t talk so much I would come back with a smart ass comment. That’s all that asinine question deserves quite honestly. It’s equivalent to asking why are your eyes blue? One that’s worked for me is “I was sent to Earth to observe.” Which is a sly acknowledgement that they think I’m weird/alien for not talking a lot and also says that I prefer not to talk a lot because I’m checking things out? It has gotten a laugh, sometimes a slightly uncomfortable laugh. But so what? It’s a stupid ass question and they have put me on the spot simply for being who I am, which isn’t fair. I would also suggest the following answers to “why are you so quiet?” How about, “I don’t know, why is the sky blue?” or “Oh, I don’t know. I guess for the same reason some people are so talkative.” For a list of fun one liners to answer people who ask why you're so quiet go to http://www.theshytrovert.blog...

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fdsds 2010/10/09 02:31:28

+4
i know EXACTLY how you feel. my class thinks im "weird" or "diffrent" only because im not loud mouthd lik they are. i also HATE it when poeple say YOUR SHY! in front of the whole class...so annoying. they should see how its like being in my shoes. then they MIGHT respect us quiet people a little bit more......

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Lindsay... to fdsds 2011/02/07 21:05:49

+2
I agree completely!

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elaine to fdsds 2011/12/11 00:22:10

+2
When dumb ass people ask questions like that it just makes me shyer!! I feel like Im expected to say something after comments like that and I just want to crawl away somewhere safe where im not on trial.

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♥*kɘℓs™*[[playitonrepeat]]♥ 2010/09/03 01:33:24

+2
People always ask me why I am so quiet. I've been an introvert since I was little, but at the right times and with the right people, I am an extrovert and quite a chatterbox. :D

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Lindsay... to ♥*kɘℓs™... 2011/02/07 21:06:04

+2
This is just like me!

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Taurean Smith 2010/08/28 06:13:30

+5
you are not alone i feel the exact same thing i stay at home alot cause i have social anxiety disorder i'm also a shy person myself and i think i can't relate to people as well but it take time overcome shyness just be yourself and take babysteps at atime

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cassie arcaro 2010/08/27 23:36:52

+3
I'm in the same situation! I've read something about shy people not too long ago. How about me & u try doing this. You just have to think of yourself with more confidence. Lets try having more confidence. There's stores that have bracelets thatare for conciessness worryness and tons of things. some people wear it and it actually helps them. or u can try talking a tiny bit more each day. it heard that helps. & who cares what they think! :)

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dessi 2010/07/29 16:11:22

+3
i'm shy too. i don't have a friends. when i see people i know and look at me sometimes i think that they don't like me, i feel ugly :(

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elaine to dessi 2011/12/11 00:28:02

+3
Reading all of these comments, I can see there are so many of us in this world, we must be here for a reason, and these few are just the ones who found this outlet, so when you feel those feelings think of this column of people who are all just like you and guess what- we are not alone, we are here helping each other, and not quiet we are speaking our minds right here, we just choose a different way to do it.

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blacko 2010/03/08 21:20:22

+4
I am not shy but, I stay to myself. I live in the projects and I don't interact with nobody in the neighborhood. So they talk about me a lot. I did not move around there to make friends just wanted to get out of my mothers house. I just figured if you don't like someone why do you talk about them all the time? I won't stop being me and you shouldn't stop being you.

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Just some guy 2010/02/24 21:48:57 (edited)

+1
Hey, I used to be shy. I no longer am, but I know how you feel. But are you absolutely sure that they "hate you"?

Isn't it entirely possible that they just want to get to know you?

And don't worry about the "what if i'm ugly" if you were, no one would care to ask why your quiet, they would just ignore you completely. When I want to talk to a shy person and they respond with a "Ugh" or something I ask why their quiet to find out if their is something wrong, or if they are angry and want to be alone. (Also, don't believe the myth "Nice guys like bad girls". Nice guys like shy girls who talk to them.)

I went from 1 friend (who was embarresed to be around me) to being either good aquatences or friends with almost everyone at school. I used to just accept being shy, but I decided that I wanted to go into business, and being shy just wouldn't work.

Honestly, I enjoy being social. Don't tell yourself that being shy is just who you are.

I'm a guy, so I don't know what its like for girls to make friends, but I found watching Family Guy and Futurama helped get started. Most people talk about these shows and I would join in conversations and reference them with the others.

With that case of friends forgetting you:

DON'T THINK EVERYONE IS AGAINST YOU!!!!!!!!

That was my BIGGEST pr...

Hey, I used to be shy. I no longer am, but I know how you feel. But are you absolutely sure that they "hate you"?

Isn't it entirely possible that they just want to get to know you?

And don't worry about the "what if i'm ugly" if you were, no one would care to ask why your quiet, they would just ignore you completely. When I want to talk to a shy person and they respond with a "Ugh" or something I ask why their quiet to find out if their is something wrong, or if they are angry and want to be alone. (Also, don't believe the myth "Nice guys like bad girls". Nice guys like shy girls who talk to them.)

I went from 1 friend (who was embarresed to be around me) to being either good aquatences or friends with almost everyone at school. I used to just accept being shy, but I decided that I wanted to go into business, and being shy just wouldn't work.

Honestly, I enjoy being social. Don't tell yourself that being shy is just who you are.

I'm a guy, so I don't know what its like for girls to make friends, but I found watching Family Guy and Futurama helped get started. Most people talk about these shows and I would join in conversations and reference them with the others.

With that case of friends forgetting you:

DON'T THINK EVERYONE IS AGAINST YOU!!!!!!!!

That was my BIGGEST problem. I always thought that people were making fun of me, but they were just joking around. Also you must remember that friendship is a team effort! You must continually engage them in conversation and don't ignore them or they will do the same.

If you cant get along with people because you have odd interests or something:

FORGET what everyone tells you DON'T just "be yourself". "Being yourself" is important, but you wont get many friends that way. First act normal, make it seem you only have normal interests and then as they become good friends, they will accept the so called "weird side of you"

I'm sorry if I wrote to much, but i would feel bad if I didn't try and help.

And remember, your greatest ally is CONFIDENCE.
(more)

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The Mother ∞ God Loves You 2010/02/22 02:14:47

+2
nothing wrong with being shy or quiet.. and if someone dont want to take the time to get to know you, they aint worth your time anyways..

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Lonewolf 2010/02/19 05:32:25

+4
I totally get you :) Everyone says the same thing about me. It's harder for me cause I'm a guy and everyone expects guys to be all loud and say whatever pops into their head lol People are superficial. They expect you to act a certain way and if you don't fit the mold you're an outcast. Shy people are usually the nicest, and most creative and wonderful people. Don't change yourself to fit in cause there's nothing wrong with you. Shyness isn't a disease lol

You seem really sweet :) I'd like to talk to you. If you have an aim s/n let me know and we can chat.

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Red 2010/02/09 09:03:11

+1
I don't think they hate you but we're the same.. Im a quiet person and often out of place because I don't talk much.. Don't worry, you're not alone.. Don't let it bother you though.. Someday, you will overcome it. Changes takes time, so don't stress yourself too much..

Like me, I may be quiet but I still have dear friends. I think you just haven't met the right set of people to be your friends. I can be your friend if you want although I can't promise you I'll always be here since I can't always stay online.

Well I hope you take care of yourself Katie!

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Katie to Red 2010/02/15 22:49:31

+2
Well, I have close friends, but in the past people have just left me before... that's all. Thanks for understanding.

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Red to Katie 2010/02/17 03:57:13

+1
Yeah.. some friends doesn't stay long.. well as long as you have your friends, I think you'll be ok..

Take care then and You're welcome! ;)

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Daniel 2010/02/09 02:46:20

+4
I wouldn't say I'm shy, but I am a very quiet person. I purposely refrain from speaking, so that others cannot say I am annoying, rude, loud, etc. I never realized people would dislike me so much for not talking, until I read a paper that someone in my high school wrote, saying literally that all quiet people are psychopaths and need counseling. We even had a speaker come in and tell the school that you have to watch out for the "quiet ones".

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Katie to Daniel 2010/02/15 22:50:43

+1
Really? That's crazy. Some quiet people may be psychopaths, but most of them aren't. The same goes for loud people. Different kinds of people are psychopaths.

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crimson811 to Katie 2011/04/12 18:56:17

+3
Katie, thats the dumbest and most ignorant thing I ever heard..shy people aren't psychopaths, they're just insecure...now anti-social people, thats a whole different matter...no, anti-social, and shy people aren't the same thing. Us shy people, unlike "loud, outgoing" people don't feel the need to prove to everyone how smart we are by yapping all the time, and we actually think before we speak. ;)

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The guy with Billy May's icon. 2010/02/08 05:13:44

+1
I barely communicate with people unless it on questions like this so I'm very antisocial too anyways you should not care what other people think or say about you, no one is perfect.

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ITALIAN CLICKER 2010/02/07 23:26:26

+1
HATE IS A STRONG WORD. A LOT OF PEOPLE ARE JUST INSECURE AND THEY DON'T KNOW HOW TO HANDLE OTHERS FEELINGS. DON'T LET THIS BOTHER YOU---DIFFERENT STROKES FOR DIFFERENT FOLKS---JUST BE YOU, AND IF THEY DON'T LIKE IT, WELL, THEIR LOSS!

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bccxcc 2010/02/07 20:11:46

+2
I'm very shy and I hate it. My friends have learned to live with it though

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Albedo 9.0 2010/02/07 14:41:17

+1
Because shy people are the worst!! They cause most all problems in the world. Hitler was a shy man! and look what he did!
Just kidding! relax I'm sure no one actually hates you. More likely they are impatient because they "do" like you and want to incorporate you into their lives! So try as hard as you can to quit being a big Nelly and get out into that world that is calling for you my friend!

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crimson811 to Albedo 9.0 2011/04/12 18:58:52

+1
no albedo, hilter wasn't a shy man, he was an anti-social man...not the same thing!

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Albedo 9.0 to crimson811 2011/04/15 21:28:55

+1
I think you're being a little serious but shyness is a form of anti-social behavior because it keeps you from being social ergo anti-social. lol You must be bored; this is kind of an old blog.

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♫ idealshine ♫ 2010/02/07 13:46:21

+1
They´re just scared, because they don´t know what do u think about them, they don´t know nothing about u and that´t the thing they´re hate..

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Jayce Evans 2010/02/07 09:59:56

+1
i love you.

"what if i have nothing to talk about?" is a fine question, but the other two you asked seem to be asked out of low self-esteem.
don't think that way! if you are confident with yourself, others *will* see that! i'm not just saying it, it's true!

maybe you are an introvert and not an extrovert. i have a few friends who are "shy" but really it's just because they prefer to be alone rather than with people. they are introverts, whereas most people are extroverts. that's why introverts are usually seen as "weird" or something.

i really have no idea why people hate you for it. i don't think anyone has the right to hate you because you're different than them. people are different and some people haven't learned to accept that fact.

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Demon Dolphin 2010/02/07 08:23:22

+1
Me too. I'm too afraid to talk to anyone. D:
I have this preconceived notion that people automatically dislike me.
So I'm afraid that I'll just annoy people whenever I try to talk to them.

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MeG .__. RainbowFire .__. 2010/02/07 06:43:10

+3
Oh, Katie, I'm sorry to hear that. :( Some people just don't understand. I'm not a very shy person when I'm online. When it comes to real-life situations, I'm shy around some people.

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