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Why do people hate me just because I'm shy?

Katie 2010/02/06 19:56:00
It's no fair! I'm shy myself and it's annoying when people ask "why are you so quiet?" What if I have nothing to talk about? What if they think my voice is horrible? What if they think I'm ugly? Whenever I get friends, they usually forget about me and befriend someone else. I wish I could overcome my shyness, but I can't. It's who I am. Why do some people hate me just because I'm shy?
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  • Angel 2012/12/01 18:24:20
    Angel
    +15
    i am soooooo happy that otheres are in the same situation. i barely have friends.its like my voice gos down when people talk 2 me.lol

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  • sheepinthesky 2014/05/01 19:22:47
    sheepinthesky
    +3
    Since attended anger management classes when i was 10 i have been very shy and its getting worse. I can no longer talk to my best friends, i never get invited out, i cant look people in the eye, make my mum take me to school so i don't have to get on the bus, i only really talk in one lesson so im silent for the rest of the day, when i do talk i feel like the more words i say the more bored people become, i feel like i've lost my personality, i cant ask for help in classes, i forget about social etiquette - if someone asks me how i am i say 'good' and completely forget i am suppose to ask them, if i haven't seen someone for a few weeks i can barely talk to them even if i've known them for years, my driving instructor said in his 25 years of teaching he's never had another pupil who never talked once (2 hours of silence in a car per week for 6 months)... wtf is wrong with me
  • xiomara 2014/02/16 07:36:30
    xiomara
    I am really shy too and i feel bad because a lot people does not like me
  • bellali... xiomara 2014/02/28 03:05:25
    bellalightingmcqueen.ruzteze
    +3
    Just like meh ._. I have this extremely as my nightmare evrytyme i step in the bus i feel horrible soon as i enter the door at my classroom i take deep breath i have a long hair. So my classmates wud be like calling me weave rapunzel. They were making fun of me. Writing weave rapunzel got jb's touch which made me feel bad they gonna be like oh she's shhy then last time i sit next to this bitxhie gurl she was like you could sit over there i was like yeah? She said am not trying to be mean but... i knew what she meant to say :/ last. Time im not rlly super shy but i dont talk munch at school only with my best friends especially ive been living in u.s for like only 1 yr so i waz cultured shock. I came from a far non sppeakin english country so must be rlly hard for me im only in middle school. Those popular girls wud be like. Oh. Idk u. Oh. I like ur sweater. Obviously stop trying to be nice. Fake ppl are fake ppl dont bother pplon what they wanted to im half introvert and half shy i can rise if i want i have higher iq im not nerd either so u cud call me half
  • Lovergirl22 2013/10/30 22:21:02
    Lovergirl22
    +3
    I know what you mean.i always get asked the same question and it annoys me so much plus whenever I meet a nice person or 2 people they end up being best friends and forget all about me.your just insecure.join activities and try talking with people.dont think too much about it just let the conversation flow
  • Jen 2013/08/21 01:15:57 (edited)
  • jonatha... Jen 2014/01/25 05:34:45
    jonathan.woodward.503
    +1
    Jenny I understand u cuz I'm shy too and I never had friends or a girlfriend :(
  • Trailblazed 2013/08/04 23:13:02
    Trailblazed
    +3
    Tbh, there is an allure around shy, introverted people that is a total myth. The myth is that "if you would only get to know them, you would realize an amazing, interesting individual in your life!"
    My experience with many shy people is that they are not like this at all. The myth is a lie. When you get to know them, they are boring, insecure, and not interesting in any way, shape, or form. It's not fun to be around someone that you have to cater to their every insecurity and when you hang out with them, you can ONLY hang out with THEM; if you bring anyone they don't know, they turn into a housecat and shut down.

    In short, shy people are too much work for so very little reward. Shy people, you have to meet the world half-way, just like the rest of us have to. Is that hard for you? Well... don't know what to tell you. Suck it up.
  • anna Trailbl... 2013/12/31 18:53:14
    anna
    +1
    Actually all the shy people I know are amazing people. Just becAuse they are shy does not mean that they are boring. They are just very insecure. So don't go around making the assumption that every single shy person on this earth is boring, insecure, and not interesting in any way shape or form. Because they are.
  • izabel 2013/06/14 12:42:40
    izabel
    +3
    Izabel

    I am the same way I'm really shy at school and quiet. Every time I try to talk I get interrupted and my voice fades away. When they talk to me I act awkward I don't know why. Sometimes it's really hard to talk to them If you and your friends don't have the same interest. I just have nothing to say I try to talk but I jus frezze I'm nt very social. When I'm at home it's the opposite I'm funny and talkative with my sister and its because she knows me if I say something stupid or my favorite show that she knows I love she will talk to me I would respond back,but it's way different from school you see.
  • trish 2013/04/20 12:15:35
    trish
    +4
    i need help
  • Arianna Hope 2013/02/28 12:54:43
    Arianna Hope
    +4
    hey i am the same way to i am really shy and when i am about to talk i freeze up and i can't speak. somtimes i have to say somthing really important but i am to shy to say it and my friends are so lucky they can just talk to some one without a problem i wish i was not shy.
  • 2013/01/20 16:21:02
  • guy 2013/01/05 03:29:44
    guy
    +13
    I'm shy, and i really don't think it's something you can "overcome", but in my opinion, being shy means you're not a loud, obnoxious douchebag like most people and don't want to get involved in their stupidity. And usually, shy people are more interesting than the stupid people who just do what everyone else does
  • guy guy 2013/01/05 03:39:34
    guy
    +13
    I also seriously hate when schools force us to be social by sharing our essays and having other people edit them. NO THANKS!
  • huzaifa algeeli 2012/12/31 06:20:49 (edited)
    huzaifa algeeli
    +3
    Hi am asking you how not to be shy
    in school
    i'm always afraid to talk to people cuz they say my sound is low and i can't make it louder and my friends always call me the silent and i hate when people talk about bad things on me please help
  • athenus 2012/12/15 05:44:04 (edited)
    athenus
    +10
    You're not ugly! You're probably having some difficulties to find your true self in this big world, it happened to me in Highschool, I was more shy during this period, bullied, etc. Then after graduating, after meeting two best friends, I started to workout when I went to college and then boom confidence came like a rocket! The thing is if you put a positive attitude and join some people in any activity you're passionate you'll find friends, I don't know a normal formula to overcome your shyness but try to smile to people.......do exercise, breath happiness, read about comedy on the internet! Do something that puts you in a better mood before you spot someone, then tell that person the joke you read.
    And don't think about how your voice sounds but how your "words" impact on someone.
    It's okay to be shy!!!But if you can't say anything talk in the deff language then XD!!
    Believe me there are people like you who wants to speak to you too, try to wave at them when you see lonely people like you ask them about what interesting club they recomend. Be brave! cause people will want to connect with others it is "human nature"!
  • hermela.tesfamariam 2012/12/12 01:31:41
    hermela.tesfamariam
    +10
    i am like that too i hate it.i try to speak out sometime but it comes out retarded i cry sometimes at school but when people ask i just say i am practicing my crying (it is an awesome cover up)and an advise when people ask why you are quiet just think that they are trying to talk to you and and befriend you.
  • Caleb Bartlett 2012/12/03 19:47:41
    Caleb Bartlett
    +11
    Myth #1 – Introverts don’t like to talk.
    This is not true. Introverts just don’t talk unless they have something to say. They hate small talk. Get an introvert talking about something they are interested in, and they won’t shut up for days.

    Myth #2 – Introverts are shy.
    Shyness has nothing to do with being an Introvert. Introverts are not necessarily afraid of people. What they need is a reason to interact. They don’t interact for the sake of interacting. If you want to talk to an Introvert, just start talking. Don’t worry about being polite.

    Myth #3 – Introverts are rude.
    Introverts often don’t see a reason for beating around the bush with social pleasantries. They want everyone to just be real and honest. Unfortunately, this is not acceptable in most settings, so Introverts can feel a lot of pressure to fit in, which they find exhausting.

    Myth #4 – Introverts don’t like people.
    On the contrary, Introverts intensely value the few friends they have. They can count their close friends on one hand. If you are lucky enough for an introvert to consider you a friend, you probably have a loyal ally for life. Once you have earned their respect as being a person of substance, you’re in.

    Myth #5 – Introverts don’t like to go out in public.
    Nonsense. Introverts just don’t like to go...


















    Myth #1 – Introverts don’t like to talk.
    This is not true. Introverts just don’t talk unless they have something to say. They hate small talk. Get an introvert talking about something they are interested in, and they won’t shut up for days.

    Myth #2 – Introverts are shy.
    Shyness has nothing to do with being an Introvert. Introverts are not necessarily afraid of people. What they need is a reason to interact. They don’t interact for the sake of interacting. If you want to talk to an Introvert, just start talking. Don’t worry about being polite.

    Myth #3 – Introverts are rude.
    Introverts often don’t see a reason for beating around the bush with social pleasantries. They want everyone to just be real and honest. Unfortunately, this is not acceptable in most settings, so Introverts can feel a lot of pressure to fit in, which they find exhausting.

    Myth #4 – Introverts don’t like people.
    On the contrary, Introverts intensely value the few friends they have. They can count their close friends on one hand. If you are lucky enough for an introvert to consider you a friend, you probably have a loyal ally for life. Once you have earned their respect as being a person of substance, you’re in.

    Myth #5 – Introverts don’t like to go out in public.
    Nonsense. Introverts just don’t like to go out in public FOR AS LONG. They also like to avoid the complications that are involved in public activities. They take in data and experiences very quickly, and as a result, don’t need to be there for long to “get it.” They’re ready to go home, recharge, and process it all. In fact, recharging is absolutely crucial for Introverts.

    Myth #6 – Introverts always want to be alone.
    Introverts are perfectly comfortable with their own thoughts. They think a lot. They daydream. They like to have problems to work on, puzzles to solve. But they can also get incredibly lonely if they don’t have anyone to share their discoveries with. They crave an authentic and sincere connection with ONE PERSON at a time.

    Myth #7 – Introverts are weird.
    Introverts are often individualists. They don’t follow the crowd. They’d prefer to be valued for their novel ways of living. They think for themselves and because of that, they often challenge the norm. They don’t make most decisions based on what is popular or trendy.

    Myth #8 – Introverts are aloof nerds.
    Introverts are people who primarily look inward, paying close attention to their thoughts and emotions. It’s not that they are incapable of paying attention to what is going on around them, it’s just that their inner world is much more stimulating and rewarding to them.

    Myth #9 – Introverts don’t know how to relax and have fun.
    Introverts typically relax at home or in nature, not in busy public places. Introverts are not thrill seekers and adrenaline junkies. If there is too much talking and noise going on, they shut down. Their brains are too sensitive to the neurotransmitter called Dopamine. Introverts and Extroverts have different dominant neuro-pathways. Just look it up.

    Myth #10 – Introverts can fix themselves and become Extroverts.
    A world without Introverts would be a world with few scientists, musicians, artists, poets, filmmakers, doctors, mathematicians, writers, and philosophers. That being said, there are still plenty of techniques an Extrovert can learn in order to interact with Introverts. (Yes, I reversed these two terms on purpose to show you how biased our society is.) Introverts cannot “fix themselves” and deserve respect for their natural temperament and contributions to the human race. In fact, one study (Silverman, 1986) showed that the percentage of Introverts increases with IQ.

    Borrowed from http://www.carlkingdom.com/10...

    :)
    (more)
  • jazmine.vanderpool 2012/12/03 06:01:22
    jazmine.vanderpool
    +9
    wow! it's crazy how I can relate to everyone's situation. It truly sucks being shy :/
  • anna jazmine... 2013/12/31 18:55:38
    anna
    +2
    It does..... I hate it
  • Angel 2012/12/01 18:24:20
    Angel
    +15
    i am soooooo happy that otheres are in the same situation. i barely have friends.its like my voice gos down when people talk 2 me.lol
  • itsmimie 2012/11/09 14:44:47
    itsmimie
    +6
    I am shy too and i really hate it. my classmates always told me that i am too quiet. whenever there is group discussion, i didn't contribute much. I've my own opinion and ideas but i don't know how to start it and in the end they just ignore me. Like I don't even exist in the group. I did my work and show it to them but they only took a single glance at my work, say something nice and then started to ignore me again :( all my friends are nice and kind to me but we rarely talk. I tried to overcome my shyness but it didn't work because I've been an introvert since I was little, I am loud and crazy around my close friends and family though.

    I always be the first one to start a conversation with someone in order to get new friend but then it will be really awkward because I don't have anything much to say and the person will leave me alone and talk to another person. I don't hate myself but I really wish that I can overcome my shyness and be a more cheerful person
  • Cassie itsmimie 2012/12/07 10:20:19
    Cassie
    +9
    We're the same! People keep telling me that I'm quiet and nice because they never heard a single curse from me. Whuuut? and I'd rather have few real friends than tons of fake & plastic friends. I'm very talkative when Im with my friends & family. They always tell me that I make them happy. Other people (like my schoolmates) try to get away from me like I have some kind of disease. It hurts
  • Nur Afifah 2012/10/31 08:15:56
    Nur Afifah
    +2
    im shy..really shy..i dont know how to overcome it..
  • julie878 2012/09/07 14:04:26
    julie878
    +3
    i am shy too :) and i gotta admit it's sad. well, i'm not too shy actually, i can speak few words, and i also gotta call myself fake, cz im totally different at school and at home. at home, i order my sisters around, and i get respected for my act, none of my sister would want to have an arguement with me,cause i am their role model,around them, i got bitchy and selfish, i wouldn't want to lose against my sisters, and i can tell that they admire me too, around my close friends, i talk alot to, i'm a really talkactive and hyper around people i close to. but when it comes to a person who i dont know, i am really really shy, i got nervous, and i think about what would they think of me. and i can see myself being soo, i do fake smiles here and there, and i got myself be as kind as i could be, and i end up being used by my friends, and i can't stand up against those people who does, and some talk about mean things to me, and i can't do anything about it. i'm trapped, and ii'm looking for a way out now, i hope all of us can make it, to be a better person.
  • guy julie878 2013/01/05 03:46:33
    guy
    +8
    I think that's the typical shy person (myself include) , hyper around close people and shy around others, but dude (or girl), we don't need to be a "better person", 'cuz i'd rather be an individual with a few REAL friends than a social zombie who just follows the crap society feeds us who has hundreds of fake friends.
  • Kait 2012/09/07 05:07:29
    Kait
    +3
    people laugh at me when I say something because I don't know what to say, and what I say always turns out to be stupid, and the only friends I have are the friends I've had since kindergarten, they at least stuck with me as friends to senior year, but others glare at me, and always leave me out of things.
  • mike 2012/09/05 01:59:52
    mike
    +4
    its okay im shy and have no friends i try to be myself but people dont care. i wish people would would want to hang out with me and stuff and be friends.. im shy thats my issue
  • TheFunknown 2012/07/06 22:19:10
    TheFunknown
    +2
    OMG! I feel relieved by finding other people having the same situation. I hate that. I really hate it. I have no friends. Literally I know people of course but they are just not the definition of really friends. Actually I'm not shy, it's just I don't have the words to say. Also, if I got the words no one listen to me it's like I have a low voice. People also ask me 'why are you so quiet?' 'Ohh I didn't realize you are here'. When I am with people having a discussion, when someone says his/her opinion I tell myself that I've should came up with that I should say my opinion but I can't figure out my opinion or I can't put the words in the right order, I get nervous. I'm bad in English I know so excuse me I just wanted to speak out my mind. Thank you.
  • xSophieM_98x 2012/06/10 18:24:35
    xSophieM_98x
    +4
    I'm Shy too. Well, not around my close friends and family, with them im the loud, melodramatic, crazy one, always the life of the party. Its just with the popular girls, they are like "why are you so quiet?" or "why do you not talk?" i hate it, its not that i dont talk or im REALLY shy, its just i dont want to talk to bitchy cows who are patronisingly nice to me and treat me as if im a four year old or as if im mentally unstable, because they are only out to make fun of me. None of my friends seem to have this problem, nobody really cares if they are shy, its just me. I Have extremely low self confidence which doesnt really help, and alot of the time people make fun of my weight, which is the only thing that really gets to me. They dont understand that im constantly starving myself in a weak attempt to loose weight. I dont enjoy life, its kind of my problem though, its developed into something worse. But one thing i have to say to all of you wonderful people here ; For someones words to hurt and ofend you, you will have to value their opinion first. Just be yourself. Dont go round trying to be someone ur not comfortable being. Yes, i encourage coming out of ur shell and meeting new people, becoming more outgoing, but dont do it for other people, do it for yourself, stuff what other people think.
  • Jello see? 2012/06/07 00:03:52
    Jello see?
    +5
    People like hanging out with funny, chill (lay back) ppl who have a lot of friends because they seem a more fun to hang with. If they know you are shy, they think you don't have a lot of friends since you're not that fun to talk to.

    I don't like being shy, but i am just this way. When someone asks me why im quiet,
    i dunno how to answer so I just say "I just am".
    When I get in high school, I'm going to try to make good first impressions to ppl and make ppl think that I'm not quiet. I can't change how i behaved b4 since ppl will say "look she's talking more! or "Oh look you're speaking louder" and I hateee that.
  • Kat 2012/06/01 07:32:49 (edited)
    Kat
    +3
    Wow, I know exactly how you feel. I mean, it feels like I'm the only one in my entire school who just doesn't talk as much as others do. I also don't talk loud which seems to upset my family(especially my twin sister). She likes to put me down and tell me that I make conversations awkward when people have to say, "WHAT?" or "HUH???" for them to hear me, but that's usually just when it's really loud in a room or something like that. I also find it extremely annoying when people ask me why I'm so quiet. I get that question at least ten to twenty times each school year. Now before I give you my strongest advice, I have to tell you that I'm in marching band. And in marching band you HAVE to SPEAK up in order to survive. So, today I went to marching camp, which band members have to go to during the summer. Of course, new freshmen come in every year and we pretty much have to relearn how to march every single stinkin year. So first we have to break it up to properly learn how to do the marching technique. And while doing this we must yell at the top of our lungs, "FIVE AND SIX!! AND PEAL TWO THREE FOUR TILT TWO THREE FOUR TOUCH TWO THREE FOUR!!!!" and that's only the beginning. Well anyways, I was challenged today to be louder that this hilarious and obnoxious senior(I'm a sophomore...
    Wow, I know exactly how you feel. I mean, it feels like I'm the only one in my entire school who just doesn't talk as much as others do. I also don't talk loud which seems to upset my family(especially my twin sister). She likes to put me down and tell me that I make conversations awkward when people have to say, "WHAT?" or "HUH???" for them to hear me, but that's usually just when it's really loud in a room or something like that. I also find it extremely annoying when people ask me why I'm so quiet. I get that question at least ten to twenty times each school year. Now before I give you my strongest advice, I have to tell you that I'm in marching band. And in marching band you HAVE to SPEAK up in order to survive. So, today I went to marching camp, which band members have to go to during the summer. Of course, new freshmen come in every year and we pretty much have to relearn how to march every single stinkin year. So first we have to break it up to properly learn how to do the marching technique. And while doing this we must yell at the top of our lungs, "FIVE AND SIX!! AND PEAL TWO THREE FOUR TILT TWO THREE FOUR TOUCH TWO THREE FOUR!!!!" and that's only the beginning. Well anyways, I was challenged today to be louder that this hilarious and obnoxious senior(I'm a sophomore). I excepted the challenge and I was louder than her. I had to go waaaaaay out of my comfort zone for this. I thought that I would only make a fool of myself, but when we were done, everybody was all happy and my opponent, who I knew quite well, gave me a big old hug. Surprisingly, I gained so much confidence from that and wasn't afraid to step out of my comfort zone for the rest of the rehearsal. My best advice would have to be, smile a lot, enjoy life, and stop worrying about what other people think. It will also be beneficial to get involved in something because when your with a group of people who enjoy doing the same thing as you do, the hate sorta just melts away. Also, don't be insecure about the way your voice sounds. I used to because I have a real heavy southern accent that sounds deeper that other girls voices. But that's just how my voice is and no one can change that about me. People can't just hate you because of that, and if they do then they are stupid.
    (more)
  • skiniebonez 2012/05/23 21:24:29
    skiniebonez
    +3
    I'm shy too and I've heard that question for years and IT IS annoying. I don't even know how to answer it. I feel like they get bored and give up too easily.
    Don't assume they think your voice is horrible or they think you're ugly. They;don't HATE you. Try to understand it from THEY'RE point of view - It may be difficult to have a conversation with a shy person.
    Just try to come up with questions related to the current situation or environment. Don't be so self conscious and don't give up!
  • eastham 2011/12/22 03:04:56 (edited)
    eastham
    +5
    U r lucky I want to become shy. I am actually try over my christmas break. When I am my usual self I tend to be very open about my opinions to my teachers and friends which get me in a lot of trouble sometimes... but I think that everyone who is shy stay the way YOU want to stay and if people hate you or judge you it is there lose for not trying to get to know you. Who knows you might be the president of you counter one day....??? ;)
  • shechyna eastham 2012/03/04 18:00:26
    shechyna
    +4
    if you are shy you will probley not have friend because i am shy and i onley have one friend that wont me to have other friend and evey body in the 5th grade HATE ME and that make me sad oh just to tell you i am 10 years old
  • eastham shechyna 2012/11/28 02:15:11
    eastham
    Im 12... and I decided to become shy... and lets just say it only lasted about a week not even...! i cant do this!!!! every hates me because im me...!!! it sucks life sucks and... well ur lucky u have a true friend.
  • Grim Sorcerer 2011/12/17 08:58:59
  • Xyo Bender 2011/09/06 21:37:58
    Xyo Bender
    +5
    I feel the same way I'm shy like you but..people actually show that they hate me (verbally) And I don't know why. It feels like your gf or bf is breaking up with you every single day of ur life!! That's what it feels like. It breaks my heart. I look pretty normal and have a few friends but rarely ever talk to them.
  • Xyo Bender Xyo Bender 2011/09/06 22:06:15 (edited)
    Xyo Bender
    +2
    And I have to deal with it Everyday since today was the 1st day of school. When I went to school today I wore a different kind of clothes than what i used to wear last year. When 1st period ended and we were all just walking in the hallway it was really crowded so i decided to follow this 1 popular guy (not intentionally) and he was followed by a popular girl. Since the hallways are so crowded i got bumped into that guy for a quick sec. and and a few moments later he was like "I want to stab this guy (me) and the popular girl who was following him just said "sorry" to me; I guess just to make me feel better. Why are people like this? That popular guy was in my last class and everything he went pass me he would just giggle or laugh i guess and it was the same for all the other people and I don't get it. Still hurts.
  • elaine Xyo Bender 2011/12/11 00:13:37
    elaine
    +1
    Yes I know how you feel, extroverts just dont get it and shy or quiet people are their victims sometimes, (if they have that type of mean personality) It seems to give them power to look down on the powerless.Thank God there are the also nice people around who make up for the jerks. Thats the kind of thing that has happened to me alot too, and it hurts because we dont know WHY. When you think about it you may see HE has a problem, not you.

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