What is Presidency for $200, Alex?

This is from the New York Times. May 25, 2008

Whom to Trust With a Thumb on the Buzzer
By JOHN SCHWARTZ
A breathless America awaits ... more presidential debates.

In this, the ultramarathon of presidential runs, the candidates continue to talk and talk, with approximately 3,283 debates so far. Or, at least, it feels that way. John McCain is trying to make sure that the fun continues through the fall; his campaign has floated the idea of a new series of Lincoln-Douglas-style debates with his Democratic opponent. Barack Obama, who is likely to be that opponent, has said it sounds like a good idea to him.

But what about the rest of us? Of course, the debates have drawn respectable television audiences. The one on April 16 drew nearly 11 million viewers. But that’s still a couple million fewer than, say, your average episode of “Two and a Half Men.” We can do better.

Maybe the problem is that the debates, for all the interest, aren’t telling us much. Here’s a modest proposal: change the format to game shows.

“But that would cheapen political discourse!” you might exclaim. Really? More, than say, hammering a candidate over whether he should be wearing a flag pin? All I’m saying is give Alex Trebek a chance. Why wait until the candidates are actually in office to see if they have a steady thumb on the button?

Let’s face it: the presidential races in our lifetime have been influenced by what are, essentially, quiz show answers. If he’d known he was going to be on a candidates’ version of “The Price Is Right,” George H. W. Bush would have gotten a briefing on milk prices. And “Wheel of Fortune” might have given the nation early warnings about Dan Quayle.

Quiz show questions needn’t focus on trivia. A debate moderator like Mr. Trebek could test the candidates on the names of the foreign leaders, the size of the national debt, the cost of the war, the number of soldiers killed in Iraq. Those are things any candidate for president should know. Seeing the candidates up there on the famous “Jeopardy” set as Mr. Trebek calmly works through the categories of information, firmly demanding that the candidates express their answers in the form of a question, could put the campaigners in a context that almost all of us have grown up with: “I’ll take ‘Sunnis Versus Shiites’ for $600, Alex.”

From the beginning to end of the campaign season, the game show debates would shift through different formats.

“Family Feud,” with its face-off between two groups of folks over questions whose answers come from opinion polls, ought to be perfect for the early stage, when each party is putting forth a mob, so viewers can see them having to work together.

After the conventions, of course, the format changes to “The Newlywed Game,” that perspicacious test of compatibility. Knowing that he was going to be quizzed on Thomas Eagleton might have led George McGovern to do a little more digging before picking a running mate. And a few well-placed questions about, as Bob Eubanks, the show’s ebullient former host, used to put it, “makin’ whoopee,” could have given the nation an early sense of what to expect from Bill Clinton.

Robert Thompson, director of the Bleier Center for Television and Popular Culture at Syracuse University, said: “We, as Americans fully grasp the idiom of the game show. The debate? We’re not so sure, because they keep changing the rules.”

Game shows, we know, test general knowledge, the ability to think on one’s feet and other qualities we look for in our leaders. What have the current round of debates tested, aside from the candidates’ ability to mold a question into an opportunity to deliver the same memorized talking points?

Quiz shows and game shows should not completely replace full-on debates, Professor Thompson said, because the thing that makes the shows so satisfying — the notion that questions have simple answers — leaves out a big part of today’s world. “Most of the questions challenging the country now,” he said, are “not the kind of questions you can answer that quickly.” You can’t scrawl the most effective exit strategy from Iraq on a screen in the Final Jeopardy round. .

When the gantlet was done, though, Americans would be confident of one thing: our candidates are indeed smarter than a fifth grader.


So here's the question: What game show would be the best way to choose our President?