What If Obama's Teleprompter Wouldn't Lie?

snipe 2012/08/18 03:12:45

What if, just for the sake of clarity, someone could pour a little
truth serum into his teleprompter that would peel away the courtly

"Hello bitter clingers!

Four years
ago, we began a journey together. Now, it was difficult to see the
road ahead through my rhetorical fog, so I lit the way with audacity
too. I asked if you were ready for change, and you said yes! You
didn't even bother to ask what kind of change I was talking about! I
ran a campaigned based on a promise to fundamentally transform our
country, and asked for your help. It wasn't always easy either. Some
of you got a little nervous when we set out to fundamentally transform
the health care industry. Actually, a lot of you got nervous. Come to
think of it, most of you said hell no, you didn't want it. But we did
it anyway, because that's what "change" is all about. Besides, it's
not my fault you didn't ask for specifics.

Together, we violated bankruptcy laws, took over a couple of our
largest automobile companies and gave a honking big check to the UAW,
and now they are in debt to you, the taxpayer, to the tune of over $25
billion. People said it couldn't be done. The law said it couldn't be
done. But we did it. And the success doesn't stop there.

with our overlords, er, I mean partners, across the wide spectrum of
administrative agencies, my administration has crippled the coal
industry, and said no to jobs and energy independence by saying no to
the Keystone Pipeline. We even crippled the gulf region with a
moratorium on oil drilling that got us held in contempt by a federal
court! And people said it couldn't be done.

People said
that the Constitution placed limits on what we could do for you, or to
you as the case may be. But we said, "not so fast, parchment breath."
Congress wouldn't pass the Dream Act. So we implemented it.
Congress wouldn't pass Cap and Trade. My EPA fixed that too.
Congress wouldn't go home so I could appoint controversial people to
key positions using recess appointments. So I declared them in recess
and made the appointments anyway. Congress wouldn't ease work
restrictions in the Welfare Reform law. So I eased them myself. The
Constitution says you are free to practice your religious faith as your
conscience dictates. Wanna bet? Try not providing birth control or
abortifacients and see what happens to you. And did you really think
your state could get away with defending it's own border against people
who are here illegally? Did you really think I couldn't order you to
purchase whatever I want you to purchase? Just ask my new best friend
John Roberts about your "rights."

Now, the other side
wants you to believe that we are going in the wrong direction, that
"Forward" is a bad thing. They want to take you back to unemployment
rates of 4 and 5 percent, instead of the rates of over 8 percent we've
been enjoying for the last few years now. They want to go back to the
days of strong GDP growth, job creation, a growing private sector, and
national credit ratings that weren't on the decline. Governor Romney
even selected Paul Ryan as his running mate! Now,….now wait a minute.
I know Congressman Ryan. He's a decent man who just happens to hate
old people and the infirm. Comes from a good family too. He and
Governor Romney just have a fundamentally different view of things,
that's all. I'm sure they talked this morning, over a breakfast made
from freshly ground bones of the elderly and the poor, about how they
want to throw Granny off the cliff. It's just an honest disagreement.
I like you, and they don't, see?

You see, they believe
that if we were to entrust you with your, er, I mean "our" money, that
you'll spend it more wisely than we could. They believe that trickle
down fairy dust that says you can make more informed decisions than we
can! They believe that you, of all people, can create jobs and grow
the economy. They think you'd rather have the choice of where to send
your kids to school. And that's not all. They actually believe,
deep in their cold little hearts, that it is you, not the 15 members of
the Independent Payment Advisory Board that I will appoint, who should
decide if, when, and where you will get medical care. But that's not
going "Forward." That's going back! Back to those rich fat cats in
Independence Hall. Back to those right wing extremists who wrote the

We can't go back to that. There's just too
much at stake. Besides, you think I can afford to send Michelle to
Martha's Vineyard on her own jet? Okay okay, that was just a joke.
Sort of like "Arab Spring." Speaking of which, do we really want to go
back to a time when America was feared by her enemies? Where was the
conciliation in that? We've gone from schoolyard bully to the little
knobby kneed thumb sucker in the corner, and that wasn't very easy,
believe me. We signaled our retreat to the enemy in Afghanistan, and
are doing our level best to keep Israel quiet until Iran can
demonstrate its good intentions. And we are working hard to reduce the
defense budget so that our Armed Forces can fight only one major war.
Against Bangladesh. To a draw. We simply can't roll back the clock
on all that good work.

That's why we need your help,
here and all across the 57 states that make up this unexceptional and
increasingly un-sovereign nation. Through prosperity that is shared
with everyone courtesy of the nice agents of the IRS, through the hard
work of other people who will pay your way through life, and through
the very visible hand of government, we will move Forward! Forward to
a nation that says we are our brother's keeper, unless our brother
lives in Kenya. Forward to a nation that disarms its citizens and arms
Mexican drug cartels! Forward to a nation that respects the rule of
international opinion over our own Constitution! Forward to a nation
where the individual is but a cog in the machinery of the state!
That's our vision! That's fundamental transformation! Thank you!
Goodnight! God bless somebody else!"


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  • jerry 2012/08/21 23:31:05
    It would scare you to the core to see what his "truth" is.
  • Jasmine 2012/08/19 15:06:34
    How about we do that with any of the teleprompters used by the pols. Face it, they pretty much all lie.
  • KAREN JAMES 2012/08/19 03:39:47
    Romney uses a teleprompter too. Is that why he lies?
  • Bureauc 0Bamao 2012/08/18 23:41:37
    Bureauc 0Bamao
    I don't deal in hypotheticals.
  • texasred 2012/08/18 23:21:00
    The Progressives/Liberals would applaud it. The idiots that voted for him without knowing what they were doing would be appalled... and then blame it on the Republicans/Conservatives for switching the teleprompters.
  • johnnyg 2012/08/18 19:07:49
    It would be broken, and Bammy would be speechless.
  • WhereIsAmerica? ~PWCM~JLA 2012/08/18 17:58:30
    WhereIsAmerica? ~PWCM~JLA
    Good one, Obama would not know what to do in that case since all he does is lie.
  • mk, Smartass Oracle 2012/08/18 17:17:57
  • heirsoftheking 2012/08/18 16:02:47
    Then Obama's teleprompter would have to hit the unemployment line.
  • shenendoah 2012/08/18 15:52:21
    That boy would be in a world of hurt.
  • Steve Boston 2012/08/18 15:44:44
    Steve Boston
    I said back in 2008 that this impostor would represent the most dangerous administration in the history of our country, Terribly sad to say he has exceeded my expectations.
  • heirsof... Steve B... 2012/08/18 16:03:54
    Terribly true.
  • Red Branch 2012/08/18 15:42:40
    Red Branch
    It is scary at what he has gotten by with so few objections and the number of people that caved in to his transformation.
  • Steve B... Red Branch 2012/08/19 01:59:55
    Steve Boston
    His telepromter told him he owned the media and he'd easily have his way.
  • Seonag 2012/08/18 15:30:52
    LOL ---- My first thought when I read the question was that the teleprompter would be blank when Obama stood before it!
  • Temlakos~POTL~PWCM~JLA~☆ 2012/08/18 14:44:00
    What would happen next would be very unpleasant to watch.

    He would do a strip tease and dance around in the altogether. And people would say of him, "Is Barack Obama also an Old Testament-style prophet?" I Samuel 19:24. Look it up.
  • Spizzzo BN-0 2012/08/18 12:50:36
    Spizzzo BN-0
    What if you weren't such an intolerantly and authoritarianly endoctrinated jerk as to think that YOUR President, Barack Hussein Obama was an anti-American; that you were actually open to understanding what your President was all about? What about that, hey?
  • snipe Spizzzo... 2012/08/18 14:04:04
    If you had read the article, which I can tell by your comment that you didn't, you would see that it says nothing about obama being anti American, although he has no love for her. And if you had read the article, which I can tell by your comment that you didn't, you would see exactly what obama is all about. You have just proven yourself to be one of the clueless, brainwashed, indoctrinated Army of jerks that YOUR president has created in the last 4 years.
  • Spizzzo... snipe 2012/08/18 14:16:04
    Spizzzo BN-0
    OH, man, unfortunately for you, I am one Liberal here who is tired of trying to be reasonable with you unreasonable Conservatives--so I won't be--I'll just make my points that prove you wrong and a liar, and then shut up.

    OK, so the very title of your article proves how intolerant, hateful, and lying you are about YOUR President, Mr. Barack Hussien Obama. There is just no reason to go beyond your title, since you make it clear with it that you are anti-American. I'm pro-American, myself, so you disgust me with your anti-Americanism, really.
  • snipe Spizzzo... 2012/08/18 14:24:04
    Wow Spitzo, that's some new leftist spin: anyone who doesn't support Der fuhrer is anti American now. Did you get that from your daily indocrination email from OFA?

    Are you trying to tell me that YOUR Fuher never lies? Really? Lol!
  • Spizzzo... snipe 2012/08/18 14:28:25
    Spizzzo BN-0
    So, like so many Righties, you choose to be an absolutist jerk unwilling to reason and willing to put crazy/unreasonable words in my mouth. OK, that is your right--but please explain to the rest of us why you want to lie like that?
  • snipe Spizzzo... 2012/08/18 23:35:33
    You claim that merely the title of this blog makes me anti-American. You said: "There is just no reason to go beyond your title, since you make it clear with it that you are anti-American." What was it Hillary said?
  • Spizzzo... snipe 2012/08/20 09:36:58
    Spizzzo BN-0
    How about because it is blatantly OBVIOUS by your very title, AND every single thing you've done since; that you unreasoningly hate your President and promote just about every lie about him you can find? That's all pretty obvious--why do you even try to deny it? After all, aren't you proud of how much you hate your President?

    Oh, and to be clear, hating your democratically (in our republic, of course, NOT a true democracy) and constitutionally-elected President so much that you do not respect him as President, IS anti-American. Or un-American. Your pick.
  • snipe Spizzzo... 2012/08/20 16:47:15
    I'll say this, though: I sure do hate what he's doing to this Country. Nothing anti or un-American about it that. I might not have the unwavering love that you have for the man, but I do think he's clueless and in way over his head. I think he's nothing more than a Chicago street corner thug who managed to con his way into the WH. Now, you've managed to introduce the liberal tactic of name calling, so fell free to throw out your race card anytime you'd like. To tell you the truth, I'm surprised you haven't done it by now.
  • Spizzzo... snipe 2012/11/06 20:29:32
    Spizzzo BN-0
    OK. I will NOT (unlike you) "throw out your race card ". Apparently race is a Big Deal to you--not me, though. Where did I name-call? Is ANY criticism "name-calling" to you? Why do you hate the American people so much and doubt their wisdom so much as to say "he's nothing more than a Chicago street corner thug who managed to con his way into the WH"? I hope you realize that by saying that you are admitting that you are a MASSIVE elitist--FAR more of one than you and your kind accuse Mr. Obama of being.

    So, just why is it you distrust the American people SO much, eh?
  • texasred Spizzzo... 2012/08/18 23:36:05
    If you'll read the post, you'll find it's not a lie. Everything is there in black and white... no matter how you spin it.
  • Spizzzo... texasred 2012/08/20 09:38:27
    Spizzzo BN-0
    If you weren't such a deluded slave to your Right-wing ideology, you'd be able to see how everything I say is true.

    Oh, and NOTHING in this world is black and white, except to ideologues like you.
  • texasred Spizzzo... 2012/08/20 15:55:21
    Being a Conservative has nothing to do with it. And I can turn that around on you: if you weren't such a deluded slave to your Left-wing ideology, you'd be able to see how everything in the post is true.

    Oh, and some things in this world are black and white, e.g. black print on a white background. Has nothing to do with ideology, just a fact.
  • Spizzzo... texasred 2012/11/06 20:30:43
    Spizzzo BN-0
    Thanks for making it clearer how right I was about you.
  • texasred Spizzzo... 2012/11/06 22:34:24
    You're too far left to be right about anything.
  • snipe texasred 2012/08/20 16:24:22
    People like Spitzo are all obama has left. Pathetic little obot puppets is all thay are. If you notice there's only a handful left here on SH defending obama, and I'll bet you can name all 6 of 'em.
  • texasred snipe 2012/08/20 16:50:46
    I know.... talk about idealogues!!
  • Andrew 2012/08/18 12:42:25
    He'd be speechless!
  • ed 2012/08/18 11:11:33
    Then most would be shocked to know the real obama does hate this country and the legal citizens that live and work here.I actually think he hates the liberals and democrats a little more than the rest of us.
  • snipe ed 2012/08/18 14:08:34
    I don't believe I've ever seen anyone that loves themselves more than obama.
  • BUCCANEER~POTL~PWCM~JLA 2012/08/18 08:44:36
  • Theresa 2012/08/18 08:24:49
    He would read it and not bat an eye to what he said,
  • Pedro Doller ~Inc. 2012/08/18 06:53:50
    Pedro Doller ~Inc.
    If the TelePrompter told him he was a Republican, he would read it. And afterward, wouldn't even be aware of it.
  • AL 2012/08/18 06:31:32
    Obama would be speechless in that case!Just look at how bad he screwed up with that YOU DIDN"T DO THAT remark for example
  • Rodney 2012/08/18 06:13:29
    LOL, now if only. We could have stopped him BEFORE he leveled this much destruction upon us. Now we must wait another 80 days.

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