Was Mitt Romney Wise to Choose A Black-Hispanic Lesbian Midget With Irritable Bowel Syndrome as His VP Running Mate?
Responding to ceaseless concerns over whether Republican presidential
nominee Mitt Romney can appeal to America’s increasingly diverse voting
blocs, the Romney campaign announced today it has
chosen the 40-year-old New Orleans District Court official as its vice
presidential nominee. The announcement has shocked the nation’s
political class and stunned the public into curiosity the likes of which
puts all previous announcements of VP running mates (of any party) to
Team Romney is hailing the choice of Carla Martinez as the
“crème-de-la-crème” of diverse running mates, fitting nearly every
demographic historically elusive to Republicans; as Martinez is none
other than a young, gay, African-American female midget with Hispanic roots, a fake glass eye, and with a hopelessly incurable case of Irritable Bowel Syndrome.
Following months of research, the Romney camp says it stands solidly behind Ms. Martinez, who has been New Orleans’ District Court’s
Register of Wills for the past four years. But Martinez’s low-level
public position and her young age have others scratching their heads,
while Martinez’s lesbianism, physical deformity, glass eye, and raging
IBS have some others nearly scratching their heads…off.
Long suspected vice presidential running mate, Senator Marco Rubio
(R-FL), in particular, is reacting with reserved curiosity at Romney’s
choice for potential Veep. “Romney’s choice for running mate is indeed
peculiar, but Senator Rubio congratulates both candidates nonetheless,”
said Rubio’s Chief of Staff Cesar Conda Monday. “…A Black-Hispanic
lesbian midget city court administrator with Irritable Bowel....
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