Trump Announces Discovery of Obama Time Machine!

Today Donald Trump announced that his private investigators have found the time machine used by Barack Obama to travel back in time and plant birth announcements in the Hawaiian newspapers, to "prove" he really was born in Hawaii. The time machine was reportedly found in a basement in an abandoned home in Chicago, only two miles from President Obama's Chicago home.
"This is the "smoking gun" that proves I have been right all along" said Trump. He is currently in negotiations with Geraldo Rivera for a TV special in which the time machine will be shown to the public for the first time.
Pressure has been on Trump for some time to find real proof, after he promised the nation he was sending a team of investigators to Hawaii to resolve the birthplace issue and they came up dry. Now he has delivered in an even bigger way than even he could have imagined.
John Boehner and Mitch McConnell were in an emergency meeting, and unavailable for comment. Efforts to reach the White House have been unsuccessful.