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The U.S.S. Barack Obama....what do you think?

Luca 2011/10/01 18:26:56
USS BARACK OBAMA

The USS Barack Obama set sail today from its home port of Vancouver, BC.

The ship is the first of its kind in the Navy and is a standing legacy to President Barack H. Obama "for his foresight in military budget cuts."

The ship is constructed nearly entirely from recycled aluminum and is completely solar powered with a top speed of 5 knots. It boasts an arsenal comprised of one (unarmed) F14 Tomcat or one (unarmed) F18 Hornet aircraft which, although they cannot be launched on the 100 foot flight deck, they do form a very menacing presence.

As a standing order there are no firearms allowed on board.

This crew, like the crew aboard the USS Jimmy Carter, is specially trained to avoid conflicts and appease any and all enemies of the United States at all costs. An onboard DNC Universal Translator can send out messages of apology in any language to anyone who may find America offensive. The number of apologies are limitless and though some may seem hollow and disingenuous, the Navy advises all apologies will sound very sincere.

In times of conflict, the USS Obama has orders to seek refuge in Canada.

Details are as vague as his past, his economic policies, and his credentials to lead. But don't you worry, he has a plan!
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  • Richard Peaslee 2012/10/23 03:48:50
    Richard Peaslee
    +3
    The USS Obama.
  • Dave 2011/10/03 15:31:49
    Dave
    Look, she's listing and starting to sink already !!
  • Rapier 2011/10/03 03:11:04
    Rapier
    This Fascist will never make it back to port...sound general quarters!

    fascist port sound general quarters
  • SharonJohnson 2011/10/03 01:54:41
    SharonJohnson
    That is the perfect example of this corrupt idiot. Yep that is it USS OBama USS OBama corrupt idiot yep
  • Luca SharonJ... 2011/10/03 03:14:12
    Luca
    Yes! Good job!
  • Matt 2011/10/02 18:54:43
  • babaji5150~solo 2011/10/02 18:03:51
  • Luca babaji5... 2011/10/02 21:44:47
    Luca
    +1
    great article...thanks! (hated the message contained within it though....friggin appalling)!
  • rustyshackelford 2011/10/02 17:20:20
  • babaji5... rustysh... 2011/10/02 17:48:06
  • J Montana 2011/10/02 16:22:21
    J Montana
    +2
    Good Grief! Luca, You should know by know how I feel.
  • Luca J Montana 2011/10/02 16:33:26
    Luca
    +2
    Damn....I haven't felt you yet..but I know how ya think...we 're halfway there! :)
  • cindy 2011/10/02 16:19:37
    cindy
    Outstanding !!!!!!!
  • Hobbitt / Oldsquid 2011/10/02 15:51:44
    Hobbitt / Oldsquid
    +2
    It must be a garbage scow,,
  • Michaelene 2011/10/02 14:45:41
    Michaelene
    +2
    That's hysterical!
  • dallasjoe 2011/10/02 13:56:57
    dallasjoe
    +1
    better than the USS George W Bush who when he was asked to Serve went AWOL from the Air national Guard, but when he wsa allowed to play BIG BOY the Gard adn Reserves were used to fight his lie of a war in Iraq
  • Red Branch dallasjoe 2011/10/02 16:27:11
    Red Branch
    +6
    Google Dan Rather, $75 million lawsuit, CBS

    Dan Rather lost his $75 million lawsuit against CBS becase CBS produced evidence that Bush volunteered for Vietnam.
    CBS was willing to let Rather lie on camera, but they were not willing to pay $75 milion for it.
  • babaji5... Red Branch 2011/10/02 23:10:26
  • Red Branch babaji5... 2011/10/03 02:45:07
    Red Branch
    +1
    Thank you.
  • dallasjoe Red Branch 2011/12/20 04:48:29
    dallasjoe
    +1
    no Rather said that Bush did not serve when he moved to Miss to do Campain work Bush never volunteered for nam.
  • babaji5... dallasjoe 2011/10/02 23:10:14
  • dallasjoe babaji5... 2011/12/20 04:49:50
    dallasjoe
    Bush flew Delta Darts that were not used in Nam
  • jaeman 2011/10/02 13:27:00
    jaeman
    +4
    What a waste. Obama is, and always will be, the single greatest mistake in American history!
  • evaristus jaeman 2011/10/02 16:06:38
    evaristus
    you mean your boyfriend George W. Bush?
  • patrick jaeman 2013/01/07 08:45:55
    patrick
    +9
    If you're referring to the budget, then you are retarded because I mean really how would anyone have dealt with bush's catastrophe of a presidency?
  • Charu ∞ijm♥∞ 2011/10/02 13:16:03
  • Richard Hungwell AKA Relent... 2011/10/02 13:10:01
    Richard Hungwell AKA Relentless
    +3
    Thats funny, I thought you were serious for a second.

    uss fat guy
  • dallasjoe Richard... 2011/10/02 13:58:04
    dallasjoe
    +2
    is that the USS Dick Chenney ready to have another Heart attack
  • activ1 Richard... 2011/10/02 15:00:14
    activ1
    +4
    LOL! Is that Chris Christie?
  • evaristus Richard... 2011/10/02 16:07:23
    evaristus
    that looks like chris christie, the latest republican failure of the week.
  • Hawkeye 2011/10/02 13:04:17
    Hawkeye
    +6
    I wonder if it bows to the enemy and is as stern with it's America Bashing as is it's namesake.. I heard that it has a unique communications system as well and that it recieves it's orders from the poop deck..
  • Maynard 2011/10/02 11:42:44
    Maynard
    +6
    USS REAGAN

    Seeing it next to the Arizona Memorial really puts its size into perspective... ENORMOUS!






    When the Bridge pipes 'Man the Rail' there is a lot of rail to man on this monster: shoulder to shoulder, around 4.5 acres. Her displacement is about 100,000 tons with full complement.

    Capability

    Top speed exceeds 30 knots, powered by two nuclear reactors that can operate for more than 20 years without refueling

    1. Expected to operate in the fleet for about 50 years

    2. Carries over 80 combat aircraft

    3. Three arresting cables can stop a 28-ton aircraft going 150 miles per hour in less than 400 feet

    Size

    1. Towers 20 stories above the waterline

    2. 1092 feet long; nearly as long as the Empire State Building is tall

    3. Flight deck covers 4.5 acres

    4. 4 bronze propellers, each 21 feet across, weighing 66,200 pounds

    5. 2 rudders, each 29 by 22 feet and weighing 50 tons

    6. 4 high speed aircraft elevators, each over 4,000 square feet

    Capacity

    1. Home to about 6,000 Navy personnel

    2. Carries enough food and supplies to operate for 90 days

    3. 18,150 meals served daily

    4. Distillation plants provide 400,000 gallons of fresh water from sea water daily, enough for 2,000 homes

    5. Nearly 30,000 light fixtures and 1,3...







    USS REAGAN

    Seeing it next to the Arizona Memorial really puts its size into perspective... ENORMOUS!






    When the Bridge pipes 'Man the Rail' there is a lot of rail to man on this monster: shoulder to shoulder, around 4.5 acres. Her displacement is about 100,000 tons with full complement.

    Capability

    Top speed exceeds 30 knots, powered by two nuclear reactors that can operate for more than 20 years without refueling

    1. Expected to operate in the fleet for about 50 years

    2. Carries over 80 combat aircraft

    3. Three arresting cables can stop a 28-ton aircraft going 150 miles per hour in less than 400 feet

    Size

    1. Towers 20 stories above the waterline

    2. 1092 feet long; nearly as long as the Empire State Building is tall

    3. Flight deck covers 4.5 acres

    4. 4 bronze propellers, each 21 feet across, weighing 66,200 pounds

    5. 2 rudders, each 29 by 22 feet and weighing 50 tons

    6. 4 high speed aircraft elevators, each over 4,000 square feet

    Capacity

    1. Home to about 6,000 Navy personnel

    2. Carries enough food and supplies to operate for 90 days

    3. 18,150 meals served daily

    4. Distillation plants provide 400,000 gallons of fresh water from sea water daily, enough for 2,000 homes

    5. Nearly 30,000 light fixtures and 1,325 miles of cable and wiring 1,400 telephones

    6. 14,000 pillowcases and 28,000 sheets





    NOW THAT IS A SHIP, and yes, THAT WAS A REAL PRESIDENT TOO.
    (more)
  • ☆GrayBe... Maynard 2011/10/02 12:24:23
  • Maynard ☆GrayBe... 2011/10/02 12:27:36
    Maynard
    +2
    Ride on, I have pictures of the Reagan, clinton and the obama, they are funny but I can't get them to post.

    Like the way the clouds part in the background, great picture, Thanks.
  • ☆GrayBe... Maynard 2011/10/02 12:31:52
    ☆GrayBeard☆ ~PWCM~JLA~
    +5
    No problem, just my Navy pride showing through. I'm just an old Cold War Bubblehead. dolphins ssn681
  • dallasjoe Maynard 2011/10/02 13:59:15
    dallasjoe
    yeah named for a man who was a film maker in WW2
  • Maynard dallasjoe 2011/10/02 14:40:04
    Maynard
    +1
    WRONG, he was an Actor. A DEM ACTOR AT THE TIME IN FACT.


    What is your point funny little liberal?
  • dallasjoe Maynard 2011/12/20 04:53:47
    dallasjoe
    he was a Culver City Commando He did discover Marilyn though
  • Maynard 2011/10/02 11:36:41 (edited)
    Maynard
    +3
    USS BARACK OBAMA

    (Sorry the photo would not work, it shows a confused Donkey in a crappy rowboat.)

    Details are vague. But don't you worry..........he has a plan
  • evaristus Maynard 2011/10/02 16:09:24
    evaristus
    KKK GO AWAY, OBAMA WON AND IS HERE TO STAY!
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