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The Story of Thors Stolen Hammer

☥☽✪☾DAW ☽✪☾ 2011/03/26 03:23:03
Related Topics: God, War, Style, King
That Loki always getting in trouble
Funny how Loki just Found Thrym So Easily?
EPIC STORY and has good  Moral to learn
Vikings, Gods , wedding massacre Perfect story!
Me Thinks
You!
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The Story of Thors Stolen Hammer

story nbspthors stolen hammer nbsp

'Tis a tale of old Thor Himself, lord of thunder and guardian of gods and men. Strong and mighty was he,

and honest and brave and simple. This was his greatest weakness, for he was simple, both of heart and mind.

He was as strong as an ox, they say, and almost as smart.

But for all that Thor did lack of brains, his strength and courage were second to none!

'Twas he that kept Asgard safe from the marauding giants, slaying hundreds of them with his mighty hammer mjolnir.

One morning he woke in his war-hall and stretched out a hairy arm to pick up his beloved hammer.

His fingers felt all over the table beside his bed. Then as the truth did work it's way into his brain,

his eyebrows shot up. Then his mouth turned down at both it's corners.

Then his beard began to shake from it's red roots to it's curling red tips.

"WHAAAAAAGH!" her bellowed so loudly that all of Asgard did shake. "SOMEONE HAS STOLEN MY HAMMER!"

tips nbsp whaaaaaagh bellowed loudly asgard shake stolen hammer nbsp

As quick as he could he searched every corner of Asgard, fuming and bellowing.

At last he found Loki, the trickster most cunning, god of fire and blacksmiths,

the least trustworthy of all the gods. If anyone could have stolen Thor's hammer, Loki could.

But Thor remained remarkably calm. He walked slowly up to Loki and said

"Good day, my half-brother. Have you been busy this day, my half-brother?

HAVE YOU BEEN BUSY STEALING MY HAMMER? WHAT HAVE YOU DONE WITH MJOLNIR???"

(Well, that is calm for Thor...)

half-brother busy half-brothernbsp busy stealing hammer mjolnir calm thor nbsp

Of course Loki said "I...didn't...see...it..." And after some serious pleading, Thor put him down.

Loki might lie, cheat, and steal. But if he was nothing else, he was a coward.

pleading thor nbsp loki lie cheat steal coward nbsp nbsp

Just looking into Thor's red eyes would make anyone talk. But if Loki didn't have it, who did?

And if it wasn't in Asgard, where was it?

nbsp nbsp thors red eyes talk loki didnbsp asgard nbsp

Then Loki hit upon an idea; the two of them went to Freyja, the most beautiful of the goddesses,

and queen of the valkyries, (Who chose the best warriors slain upon the field to live in Valhalla.)

Loki asked her, " Please, good Freyja, would you lend me your white feather cloak,

for Thor's hammer is missing, and we must find it."

loki freyja lend white feather cloaknbsp thors hammer missing nbsp

Well, Freyja was blessed with eyes that see the truth, and when she heard that mjolnir was indeed lost,

she knew that Asgard was in trouble. "Take my cloak," she said. "I would give it to you even if it were gold!"

eyes truth heard mjolnir lostnbsp asgard trouble cloak gold nbsp

Loki pulled on the feather cloak and, {CLAP} became a white raven just like that.

Off he flew all around the worlds until he came to the land of the giants, Jontheim.

In that land, on a huge burial mound sat the king of the giants, Thrym. He was huge!

Black haired and black bearded with great wide hands.

He was grooming a heard of horses that were no bigger than sheep to him!

Now there is something you should know; giants are very big and very strong, but they are not very bright.

You remember how simple I told you Thor was? Well compared to the giants he was a genius!

But giants have something almost as good as brains: They know magic! So when Thrym saw a white raven flying overhead,

he saw right through the spell and saw Loki underneath. The giant king smiled evilly.

"Loki!" he called. "How is everything in Asgard? Why are you here all alone?"

spell loki giant king smiled evilly nbsp loki asgard nbsp

Loki stayed high above the giant's reach, and called down.

"Terrible news for the gods. I'm afraid Thor's hammer is missing."

Thrym began to laugh. He laughed so hard that boulders on the nearby mountains started to roll around.

"Oh I know that," he sneered. "I've buried the thunder-hammer eight leagues beneath the earth.

If you ever want to see it again, bring me the beautiful Freyja to be my bride!"

buried thunder-hammer leagues beneath earth nbsp beautiful freyja bride nbsp

Loki flew back to Asgard, and the second he removed the cloak and turned back to himself,

Thor grabbed his arm. "Tell me what you found!"

Loki was afraid to tell the thunder god what he'd heard, so he put him off. "Let me rest a minute."

"No," the thunderer growled, his red beard bristling.

"Men who sit down forget what they have to say, and those who lie down lie!"

"Thrym has your hammer," Loki told him. "He will only get it back if he gets Freyja to be his wife!"

forget lie lie thrym hammer loki told freyja wife nbsp

So Thor took Freyja's cloak back to her. When he gave it back he told her,

"There is only one way to get my hammer; you must come to Jotunheim with me and marry Thrym."

Now how would you feel if I said you must marry the biggest, stupidest, ugliest person in the world.

That's exactly how Freyja felt. She stamped her foot and screamed. "ARRRRGH! I would have to be absolutely man-crazy

to marry a stupid, ugly, nasty creature like Thrym! I won't do it no matter how many hammers he has stolen!"

All the gods held council, since this was very important. After all, Thor was all that kept the giants out of Asgard.

Without his hammer he wouldn't be able to stop them.

nbsp gods council important thor giants asgard nbsp hammer nbsp

But over to one side sat Heimdall, the guardian of the rainbow bridge that connects the earth to Asgard.

(His eyes were so keen that he could see the hairs on a cat's head all the way across the world.

And some say he could see into tomorrow.) Heimdall stood up and said "I have a plan. Let's get one of Freyja's dresses,

some of her jewelry, and a heavy veil. We could put them on Thor. Thrym would never know the difference!"

"WHAT?" Thor bellowed. "Put me in a dress? Make me up like a girl? Never!! I won't stand for it!!"

He ranted and raved so it took most of the gods to hold him down.

thor bellowed dress girl itnbsp ranted raved gods hold nbsp

But crafty Loki liked the plan, (besides, seeing Thor in a bridal dress was too good to miss!)

"We have no choice!" he said. "If we don't give Thrym a bride, you won't get your hammer back!

So hold your tongue. I too will put on a dress and go as your bride's maid."

So they put him in a dress, put a veil on his face, and a wig of horsehair on his own red locks.

Loki put on a dress and fetched the thunderer's chariot, pulled by the two great goats.

When at last they left, Thor drove the magic goats hard, splitting mountaintops left and right.

The wooden wheels rumbled thunder from the very clouds.

Thrym heard the thunder, and knew it was Thor's chariot. But when he saw who was driving he was overjoyed.

(Remember, I told you that giants know magic. But Thor wasn't disguised by spells. It was only dress, powder,

and paint. And since giants are not too bright, Thrym felt sure that the driver had to be his blushing bride.)

He ran to his mead-hall, kicking his lazy subjects awake. "Up, you foul ogres! Freyja is come to be my bride!"

Four whole oxen were roasted to make the feast, along with sixteen whole salmon and twenty barrels of ale.

Once the 'bride' had arrived Thrym took them inside and showed them to the high seat for feast.

He spoke to his 'bride' and teased her, but Thor refused to speak.

This alarmed Thrym, and he turned to Loki and asked, Why does she not talk?"

Loki answered "Oh, my lord, she was so excited when she heard that she was to be your wife,

she shouted for joy for eight whole days. She has made herself hoarse."

This seemed to satisfy the giant king, so they started to feast. Now giants eat quite a lot, but no one ate as much

as the 'bride', who ate on whole ox, eight whole salmon, all of the cakes, and washed it down with four barrels of ale!

"How can she eat so much?" Thrym cried. "I have never seen a woman eat so much!" But crafty Loki answered,

"Oh, my lord, she was so happy when she heard she was to be your wife, she couldn't eat a thing in eight days!"

This seemed to satisfy the giant. (Well, I told you he was stupid!) Later in the feast he got the idea to steal a kiss from his 'bride'.

He lifted up the veil just a little, and dropped it again in fear. "Her eyes!" her cried. "Her eyes are so red and fierce!"

But crafty Loki replied, "Oh, my lord, she was so excited about being your wife that she hasn't slept in eight days!"

Thrym looked troubled, but he believed the trickster. "She hasn't slept or eaten and has been rejoicing for eight days!

Let us not delay the wedding! Let us be married now!"

Thor almost jumped, but the always plotting Loki interrupted.

"Oh good king Thrym, Shouldn't you bring out Thor's hammer mjolnir to honor your part of the bargain?"

Thrym thought a bit, (which was hard for him,) and cried, "Bring out the hammer, and lay it across her knees."

hammer mjolnir honor bargain thrym cried hammer lay knees nbsp

But when the hammer touched Thor's knees, he snatched it up and struck Thrym in the forehead...

{pause, try again striking higher,} he struck Thrym a mighty blow, killing him all at once!

Then he proceeded to clear the mead-hall. One by one all the giants foolish enough to try him fell.

All the others ran away.

killing oncenbsp proceeded clear mead-hall giants foolish nbsp ran nbsp

And that is the tale of the theft of Thor's hammer, and how he won it back again.

And there is a moral that all men should remember: Before you go to wed, look hard behind the wedding veil!

Add a comment above

Top Opinion

  • PEEPL 2011/03/26 04:06:42
    Me Thinks
    PEEPL
    +3
    From the pictures below, I suppose that you already know but a movie titled Thor is coming out soon.. But it probably doesn't follow the story of Thor, they probably add a Hollywood spin to the tale.

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Opinions

  • Lady Whitewolf 2011/09/23 12:14:45
    Vikings, Gods , wedding massacre Perfect story!
    Lady Whitewolf
    LOVE it!
  • sjalan 2011/09/22 00:39:22
    EPIC STORY and has good Moral to learn
    sjalan
    Again, a great post.
  • reg 2011/09/21 16:23:35
    Me Thinks
    reg
    aaahhhhhhhh yes buuuuttttt..........did you know that in the historical story thor, odin, freya and co had a pet pig? they did but i cant remember the pigs name...... it's a long time since i was at school.

    http://www.booksystemsplus.co...
  • Lady Wh... reg 2011/09/23 12:12:39
    Lady Whitewolf
    +1
    Gullin-bursti ( golden bristles ) Pardon the crappy spelling!
  • reg Lady Wh... 2011/09/23 20:40:24
    reg
    +1
    ta for that... i dont remember...it's a long time ago but well done.
  • Lady Wh... reg 2011/09/23 22:20:21
    Lady Whitewolf
    +1
    Thankies!
  • D.C. Willis 2011/09/21 16:16:46
    EPIC STORY and has good Moral to learn
    D.C. Willis
    +1
    Great story! especially for one that involves cross dressing. LOL
  • ☥☽✪☾DAW... D.C. Wi... 2011/09/21 16:20:32
  • darwolf 2011/05/08 01:55:50
    Vikings, Gods , wedding massacre Perfect story!
    darwolf
    Oldie but a goodie
  • Steve 2011/05/07 23:49:02
    Me Thinks
    Steve
    for all the trouble Loki causes, it's good to see him work with the other Gods too.
  • ☥☽✪☾DAW... Steve 2011/05/08 02:06:04
    ☥☽✪☾DAW ☽✪☾
    oh he helps the gods one time
    http://www.sodahead.com/enter...


    Idunn the Goddess of the Apples of immortality
  • misterz 2011/05/07 14:58:10
    That Loki always getting in trouble
    misterz
    Hope there was insurance.
  • Rooster 2011/04/01 17:10:09
    That Loki always getting in trouble
    Rooster
    +1
    i think most thor stories are good
  • bamalady35077 2011/03/28 16:25:34
    EPIC STORY and has good Moral to learn
    bamalady35077
    +1
    and now for something completely different...........
  • calamidad9 2011/03/28 01:57:35
    Vikings, Gods , wedding massacre Perfect story!
    calamidad9
    +1
    Great fun. Thanks!
  • LadyXaos ☮ 2011/03/27 17:03:17
    Me Thinks
    LadyXaos ☮
    +1
    Loki almost always brings a smile to my heart
  • Beccy 2011/03/27 01:32:14
    EPIC STORY and has good Moral to learn
    Beccy
    +1
    Thanks for sharing. I love these
  • BurntOffering 2011/03/27 01:27:53
    Vikings, Gods , wedding massacre Perfect story!
    BurntOffering
    +1
    Ive always like the story of king arthur and excalibur because it was the Lady of the Lake who actually ended up with it. Ive always considered the Lady of the Lake as the Angel of the Lord who was about to destroy Balaam and save his She Ass Alive.
  • ☥☽✪☾DAW... BurntOf... 2011/03/27 04:10:07
    ☥☽✪☾DAW ☽✪☾
    +1
    i did a blog on the goddess who gave king author the exaibur i will do one on the lady of the lake
    and exailbur
  • Shaina 2011/03/26 19:29:21
    Me Thinks
    Shaina
    There were giants in those days, which is where these stories originate, from my understanding of history. They were the result of the mixing of natural and supernatural seed.

    The giants have all but been destroyed. We humans wouldn't have flourished, maybe not even survived, existing among them.
  • Shaina Shaina 2011/03/26 19:34:49
    Shaina
    +1
    By the way, I have always had a passion about Thor. I married a man nicknamed Thor, and he was the personification of that mighty man ~ magnificently beautiful, but short in the brain department.

    thor married nicknamed thor personification magnificently beautiful brain department
  • Lady Wh... Shaina 2011/09/23 12:13:21
    Lady Whitewolf
    **giggle**
  • LesWaggoner BN 1 2011/03/26 05:52:58
    Me Thinks
    LesWaggoner BN 1
    +2
    YOu need to keep these coming.
  • ☥☽✪☾DAW... LesWagg... 2011/03/26 06:05:12
    ☥☽✪☾DAW ☽✪☾
    +1
    i will tommorow
  • LesWagg... ☥☽✪☾DAW... 2011/03/26 06:50:30
    LesWaggoner BN 1
    +1
    Great. Chuck 'em up and we'll knock 'em down.
  • ☥☽✪☾DAW... LesWagg... 2011/03/26 06:51:07
    ☥☽✪☾DAW ☽✪☾
    +1
    just rave em and share em is all i ask
  • Bob, the reasonable one 2011/03/26 04:38:39
    Vikings, Gods , wedding massacre Perfect story!
    Bob, the reasonable one
    +2
    Another great post!!! :)
  • PEEPL 2011/03/26 04:06:42
    Me Thinks
    PEEPL
    +3
    From the pictures below, I suppose that you already know but a movie titled Thor is coming out soon.. But it probably doesn't follow the story of Thor, they probably add a Hollywood spin to the tale.
  • ☥☽✪☾DAW... PEEPL 2011/03/26 04:08:49
    ☥☽✪☾DAW ☽✪☾
    +2
    well these storys are about Thor The norse god of legend and tales that are about him most of these stories are several thousand years old
    i know about the thor movie it looks intresting i hope they pull it off
  • ☥☽✪☾DAW... PEEPL 2011/03/26 04:09:55 (edited)
    ☥☽✪☾DAW ☽✪☾
    +2
    yeah in the movie of thor Hemheil is black
    but his name means the whitest of gods
    yeah movie thor hemheil black whitest gods thor movie black

    this is the god who guards the rainbow bridge but hes white in the stories
    black whitest gods god guards rainbow bridge white stories
  • holdenferall 2011/03/26 03:49:36
    EPIC STORY and has good Moral to learn
    holdenferall
  • Foxhound BN0 2011/03/26 03:41:12
    Vikings, Gods , wedding massacre Perfect story!
    Foxhound BN0
    +2
    Fun story. Thanks!
  • mg's haven~POTL~PWCM~JLA 2011/03/26 03:37:45
    Me Thinks
    mg's haven~POTL~PWCM~JLA
    +3
    Im glad i wasnt there to have to watch that scene. At least he got his hammer back.
  • ☥☽✪☾DAW... mg's ha... 2011/03/26 03:38:52
    ☥☽✪☾DAW ☽✪☾
    +3
    till loki stole it and broke it but thor remakes the hammer bigger with an axe blade on one side
  • mg's ha... ☥☽✪☾DAW... 2011/03/26 03:40:35
    mg's haven~POTL~PWCM~JLA
    +3
    Thats even worse. I wouldn't be surprised if somewhere along the way Thor used that hammer on Loki.
  • ☥☽✪☾DAW... mg's ha... 2011/03/26 03:42:21
    ☥☽✪☾DAW ☽✪☾
    +2
    he kills loki alot but the problem is the underworld is run by Hel a norse goddess whos Lokis Daughter who just keeps sending him back to midgard
  • mg's ha... ☥☽✪☾DAW... 2011/03/26 03:45:16
    mg's haven~POTL~PWCM~JLA
    +1
    I would think having the same person kill him might have taught him not to mess with the same people after dying at the same hands all the times.
  • ☥☽✪☾DAW... mg's ha... 2011/03/26 03:47:34
    ☥☽✪☾DAW ☽✪☾
    +2
    Loki is the god of mischief hes smart but stupid hes mostly upset that odin killed his parents and wants to take it out on killing thor but hes weak so he schemes to get thor banished or killed or misfortune

    he brought ragnorock on the norse gods twice and twice thor stopped it
  • mg's ha... ☥☽✪☾DAW... 2011/03/26 03:53:57
    mg's haven~POTL~PWCM~JLA
    +2
    Oh I had forgotten about that. I have some knowledge of mythology but only bits and pieces. He never did get rid of that kind of pain.
  • ReasonOverFaith BN - 0 2011/03/26 03:25:55
    Me Thinks
    ReasonOverFaith BN - 0
    +2
    I have my own Thor story! My buddy has a bowl named Thor. Thor has been dropped on multiple occasions from heights that would shatter any normal glass bowl, but there is not a chip or scratch on Thor. Long live Thor who hits like a goddamn hammer!

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