Sandra Fluke's contraception problem has been solved!
schjaz 2012/04/15 15:22:08
Many of you have likely seen the heart rending testimony of Ms. Sandra
Fluke, a law student at Georgetown University, before a
Congressional Committee this week. She was lamenting that no one
would subsidize her birth control expenses, which she claimed would
amount to $3000 during her three years in law school. After watching
Ms. Fluke describe her desperate situation I set to
thinking of ways to help her out of her crisis. First, of course I had
to pass through the grieving period I experienced after hearing of her
inhumane treatment at the hands of the Georgetown administration and
our Government ... what cruelty lurks in the heart of men that they
would leave this poor woman to fend for herself when all she wanted to
do was get laid seven times a day (see my analysis below).
Once I recovered from my grief, I set to thinking about ways to help
this poor girl. Being a Physicist, I sat down with my calculator and
worked through some numbers. Ms. Fluke's expense account for birth
control (aka sexual entertainment) was claimed to be $3000 for three
years at law school. Let's presume that as an educated woman she wants
to be doubly safe and uses both birth control pills to prevent
pregnancy and condoms to prevent STD (sexually transmitted disease).
Using the Wal-Mart cost for birth control pills of $9 per month, her
birth control pills will cost her $324 for her entire law school career
(if you can call it a career... I can think of other names). This
leaves only $2,676 for her condoms.
I went to Amazon.com, and found quality condoms available for 33 cents
each in packages of 60 condoms each. This cost includes tax
and shipping. Since she has $2,676 for her 33 cent condoms, she will be
buying 8,109 condoms during her law school career.
To use her 8109 condoms (remember, $3000 was Ms. Flukes' own number)
she would have to have sex 7 times a day. This number
presumes that she has sex ten times a day on Sundays when she has more
free time. So, having worked through these numbers, I have some
suggestions for Ms. Fluke to help her work through her crisis:
1. Find dates who are gentlemanly enough to either provide their own
condoms, or at least split the cost with her. Selection criteria is the
key to this one.
2. Spend more time studying. Even seven quickies a day will seriously
cut into quality study time. This would not only save money but would
improve her education as well.
3. Seek funding from the EPA from one of their Wetlands Protection
programs ... surely Ms. Flukes' nether regions would qualify as wetlands
given sex seven times a day.
Just trying to help out a starving student. By the way, the average
starting salary of new Georgetown Law School graduates is $160,000 a
Booth R. Myers, PhD.=
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