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Ok, so most of you know that my daughter died 4 years ago. She is buried at Resurection Cemetary in SI, NY. There is a place called the garden of angels, which all the babies (newborn, stillborn, miscarriage, sids deaths.. the whole lot) can be buried for a small fee. Now, the only thing with this is, once you sign over the body, you no longer have any say in what happens to it (like I couldn't take her body and bury it somewhere else now).
So i was totally ok with this, it came as a surprise and I really didn't have the 4,000 it takes to bury someone. I said ok (mind you that whole week is really blury.... it happened so fast and so quick all at the same time) and did what I had to to make sure that my Paris was well taken care of after death.
The cemetary is beautiful and is very lenient on allowing mourners to leave knicknacks, and flowers, wreaths etc, etc. So every now and again I go and reflect on my memories, as everyone mourning does. I leave small things like little figurines of a little baby in "God's hands" or "Beloved daughter" signs.... nothing to big or extravegant. Just little gestures of how much I miss her.
My daughter died on 9/1/05. There is a baby (Julian) who died sometime in July. How is is that my daughter is 3rd from the bottom (on the headstone with all the babies ever buried there) and "Julian" is first on top in the new column. Now this isn't the reason I am pissed off. Julian's mother is an abnoxious, piece of work that really needs to be put in her place.
There are over 400 babies buried in this particular section of the cemetary and she feel the need to take up an entire Headstone space to leave her "memorium". It infuriates me further when she moves other peoples things to make space for her own..... I can't even go there anymore because I get so upset.

I have left many things there and everytime I go back, my things end up missing, but this woman's things never turn up missing and no one says anything to her. I have made numerous request to ask this woman to stop. That everyone here is greiving the same thing (maybe not for the same reasons) but still. Why do I have to come there and reflect on missing my daughter, and all I see is Julian this and Julian that. I am so tired of speaking to deaf ears..... My mother feels the same way I do and even put a little memorial garden in her backyard, (complete with lights and fairys and easter eggs and a whole lot of other fun stuff), she won't go the cemetary anymore, and that is terrible that we don't feel comfortable enough to go a grieve where we are supossed to. HELP!!!!!!!!!!

Am I wrong to feel this hatred towards this woman??? Would I be wrong if I told her how I truly feel, and not hold back the anger I have felt for over 4 years now? Or should I just leave well enough alone and keep doing what I have been doing? Please help me, your thoughts are imprtant to me and I could really use some fresh ears & eyes on this one!!!!

Thanks for listening (or reading, shall I say) ;)