Like President Obama, I struggled with this until 2004. Here is the story of my struggle.
In 2003, my wife died after fighting cancer for years. As her condition got worse, it became increasingly difficult for her to make medical decisions and she came to rely on my judgement...although we discussed decision criteria repeatedly when she felt up to it...just so I could be sure I was making the right decisions for her. The doctors and nurses with whom we worked respected our relationship (after testing it I should add) and shared the information needed to make these decisions.
Sometime after Rose' death but while the pain was still very fresh; I met a gay man whose exclusive partner of more than 20 years was fighting a terminal disease. Because this man worked for a friend, I saw him with some regularity as the disease progressed. Because his relationship with his partner was not recognized by law, he got none of the respect; e.g., he was unable to stay overnight in his partner's hospital room, he was unable to obtain medical information and records to help his partner make medical decisions, etc. It was obvious he was suffering like I had suffered during Rose' illness but more so because he was separated from his partner by the system.
Sometime during this period, I...
In 2003, my wife died after fighting cancer for years. As her condition got worse, it became increasingly difficult for her to make medical decisions and she came to rely on my judgement...although we discussed decision criteria repeatedly when she felt up to it...just so I could be sure I was making the right decisions for her. The doctors and nurses with whom we worked respected our relationship (after testing it I should add) and shared the information needed to make these decisions.
Sometime after Rose' death but while the pain was still very fresh; I met a gay man whose exclusive partner of more than 20 years was fighting a terminal disease. Because this man worked for a friend, I saw him with some regularity as the disease progressed. Because his relationship with his partner was not recognized by law, he got none of the respect; e.g., he was unable to stay overnight in his partner's hospital room, he was unable to obtain medical information and records to help his partner make medical decisions, etc. It was obvious he was suffering like I had suffered during Rose' illness but more so because he was separated from his partner by the system.
Sometime during this period, I...
Like President Obama, I struggled with this until 2004. Here is the story of my struggle.
In 2003, my wife died after fighting cancer for years. As her condition got worse, it became increasingly difficult for her to make medical decisions and she came to rely on my judgement...although we discussed decision criteria repeatedly when she felt up to it...just so I could be sure I was making the right decisions for her. The doctors and nurses with whom we worked respected our relationship (after testing it I should add) and shared the information needed to make these decisions.
Sometime after Rose' death but while the pain was still very fresh; I met a gay man whose exclusive partner of more than 20 years was fighting a terminal disease. Because this man worked for a friend, I saw him with some regularity as the disease progressed. Because his relationship with his partner was not recognized by law, he got none of the respect; e.g., he was unable to stay overnight in his partner's hospital room, he was unable to obtain medical information and records to help his partner make medical decisions, etc. It was obvious he was suffering like I had suffered during Rose' illness but more so because he was separated from his partner by the system.
Sometime during this period, I start to get robo calls on the issue of gay marriage...calls clearly intended to raise campaign contributions by riling the conservative voting base of which I was part. Now I do not appreciate solicitation phone calls, donate money over the phone, and cease to donate to any charity which uses my phone number to solicit funds, as well as, being on every "do not call" registry. IMO, computers talk to computers and people talk to people....it is rude and disrespectful for a computer to talk to a person. So when I get the first call about gay marriage, I ask to be removed from the calling list....when I get the 4th call, I know position...I am against everything the sponsors of those calls were for....and they were against gay marriage so I became a supporter of gay marriage. The other experience helped me rationalize it with my religious beliefs.
(more)In 2003, my wife died after fighting cancer for years. As her condition got worse, it became increasingly difficult for her to make medical decisions and she came to rely on my judgement...although we discussed decision criteria repeatedly when she felt up to it...just so I could be sure I was making the right decisions for her. The doctors and nurses with whom we worked respected our relationship (after testing it I should add) and shared the information needed to make these decisions.
Sometime after Rose' death but while the pain was still very fresh; I met a gay man whose exclusive partner of more than 20 years was fighting a terminal disease. Because this man worked for a friend, I saw him with some regularity as the disease progressed. Because his relationship with his partner was not recognized by law, he got none of the respect; e.g., he was unable to stay overnight in his partner's hospital room, he was unable to obtain medical information and records to help his partner make medical decisions, etc. It was obvious he was suffering like I had suffered during Rose' illness but more so because he was separated from his partner by the system.
Sometime during this period, I start to get robo calls on the issue of gay marriage...calls clearly intended to raise campaign contributions by riling the conservative voting base of which I was part. Now I do not appreciate solicitation phone calls, donate money over the phone, and cease to donate to any charity which uses my phone number to solicit funds, as well as, being on every "do not call" registry. IMO, computers talk to computers and people talk to people....it is rude and disrespectful for a computer to talk to a person. So when I get the first call about gay marriage, I ask to be removed from the calling list....when I get the 4th call, I know position...I am against everything the sponsors of those calls were for....and they were against gay marriage so I became a supporter of gay marriage. The other experience helped me rationalize it with my religious beliefs.
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He is a politician so votes certainly play a part in any decision he makes but I think there is more to it than that.
He's not ready to commit himself, but with another term safely under his belt, I wouldn't be surprised at a reversal of his former opinion.
This is going to be a difficult decision not to be made lightly
In 2003, my wife died after fighting cancer for years. As her condition got worse, it became increasingly difficult for her to make medical decisions and she came to rely on my judgement...although we discussed decision criteria repeatedly when she felt up to it...just so I could be sure I was making the right decisions for her. The doctors and nurses with whom we worked respected our relationship (after testing it I should add) and shared the information needed to make these decisions.
Sometime after Rose' death but while the pain was still very fresh; I met a gay man whose exclusive partner of more than 20 years was fighting a terminal disease. Because this man worked for a friend, I saw him with some regularity as the disease progressed. Because his relationship with his partner was not recognized by law, he got none of the respect; e.g., he was unable to stay overnight in his partner's hospital room, he was unable to obtain medical information and records to help his partner make medical decisions, etc. It was obvious he was suffering like I had suffered during Rose' illness but more so because he was separated from his partner by the system.
Sometime during this period, I...
In 2003, my wife died after fighting cancer for years. As her condition got worse, it became increasingly difficult for her to make medical decisions and she came to rely on my judgement...although we discussed decision criteria repeatedly when she felt up to it...just so I could be sure I was making the right decisions for her. The doctors and nurses with whom we worked respected our relationship (after testing it I should add) and shared the information needed to make these decisions.
Sometime after Rose' death but while the pain was still very fresh; I met a gay man whose exclusive partner of more than 20 years was fighting a terminal disease. Because this man worked for a friend, I saw him with some regularity as the disease progressed. Because his relationship with his partner was not recognized by law, he got none of the respect; e.g., he was unable to stay overnight in his partner's hospital room, he was unable to obtain medical information and records to help his partner make medical decisions, etc. It was obvious he was suffering like I had suffered during Rose' illness but more so because he was separated from his partner by the system.
Sometime during this period, I start to get robo calls on the issue of gay marriage...calls clearly intended to raise campaign contributions by riling the conservative voting base of which I was part. Now I do not appreciate solicitation phone calls, donate money over the phone, and cease to donate to any charity which uses my phone number to solicit funds, as well as, being on every "do not call" registry. IMO, computers talk to computers and people talk to people....it is rude and disrespectful for a computer to talk to a person. So when I get the first call about gay marriage, I ask to be removed from the calling list....when I get the 4th call, I know position...I am against everything the sponsors of those calls were for....and they were against gay marriage so I became a supporter of gay marriage. The other experience helped me rationalize it with my religious beliefs.
I am sad to hear you'r wife passed away and I will have you and your wife Rose in my prayers.
I am gay and have a partner. I hope that we never go through any of this but if it happens I would like for us to be there to help each other. Without restrictions or conditions.
I don't hope to affect a heterosexuals marriage by having the right to wed my partner, I want the right to be legally viewed and respected as partners in our decision making and know that our marriage is no different than that of a man and a woman. I know not all people can do what you did and I thank you for not being mean and having a good heart.
I wish you well and hope that God guides you and that Rose's memory of all that was love and good is with you.
Now waht Obama thinks or doesn't think is not the point...the point is that he is trying to have it both ways and still voting "present" instead of making a commitment one way or the other...