Porn Studio to Build Luxurious Post-Apocalyptic Bunker: Legit or Laughable?
SodaHead News
2011/09/15 22:00:00
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How's everyone doing with their 2012 apocalypse prep?
In case you weren't aware, according to the Mayans -- well, according to the pseudo-scientists who interpreted the Mayan calendar -- we've got just over a year before the world ends.
Pink Visual, a Los Angeles porn studio, is going all out. They've provided media sources with the schematic for a proposed post-apolcalyptic shelter, which it's planning to build in preparation for the Mayan doomsday.
And then, we presume, turn it into some kind of bar or nightclub when it all turns out to be complete nonsense.
As you can see, the bunker will be equipped with a central "world disaster satellite monitor," a "VIP lounge command center," a "co-ed glass shower" (for decontamination, of course), and a "rotating center stage hydraulic platform w/ emergency pole."
Oops, "emergency pole access to upper levels." Our bad.
They've also got room set aside for two casting couches. You know, in case any aspiring actresses happen by after the world ends.
PV spokesman Quentin Boyer explained, "We're not building this thing just to eke out a few more months of a deprived, downscaled existence. Our goal is nothing less than to survive the apocalypse to come in comfort and luxury..."
Wait for it...
"...Whether that catastrophe takes the form of fireballs flung Earthward by an all-seeing deity," Boyer continued, "extended torrential rainfall, Biblical rapture, an earthquake-driven mega-tsunami, radioactive flesh-eating zombies, or some combination of the above."
Flesh-eating zombie apocalypse? Sounds kinky.
In case you weren't aware, according to the Mayans -- well, according to the pseudo-scientists who interpreted the Mayan calendar -- we've got just over a year before the world ends.
Pink Visual, a Los Angeles porn studio, is going all out. They've provided media sources with the schematic for a proposed post-apolcalyptic shelter, which it's planning to build in preparation for the Mayan doomsday.
And then, we presume, turn it into some kind of bar or nightclub when it all turns out to be complete nonsense.
As you can see, the bunker will be equipped with a central "world disaster satellite monitor," a "VIP lounge command center," a "co-ed glass shower" (for decontamination, of course), and a "rotating center stage hydraulic platform w/ emergency pole."
Oops, "emergency pole access to upper levels." Our bad.
They've also got room set aside for two casting couches. You know, in case any aspiring actresses happen by after the world ends.
PV spokesman Quentin Boyer explained, "We're not building this thing just to eke out a few more months of a deprived, downscaled existence. Our goal is nothing less than to survive the apocalypse to come in comfort and luxury..."
Wait for it...
"...Whether that catastrophe takes the form of fireballs flung Earthward by an all-seeing deity," Boyer continued, "extended torrential rainfall, Biblical rapture, an earthquake-driven mega-tsunami, radioactive flesh-eating zombies, or some combination of the above."
Flesh-eating zombie apocalypse? Sounds kinky.
Top Opinion
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JohnFitzgeral12 2011/09/15 22:12:35Legit
Just great ... the toilet freaks made it in.
Seriously - it's not like they're not going to find a use for it if there's no endtimes.
But this could start a mine shaft rush, as developers sceamble to find deep mine shafts suitable for these luxory bunkers.
dr. strangelove or how i learned to stop worrying and love the bomb
http://www.youtube.com/watch?...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?...
Find even one person who had a good time before humanity existed.
You can't.
The reality is we are living in the tail end of the greatest Golden Age in the history of humanity, and earth, to date.
Scholars in Europe date the period 1945 to 1975 "The American Golden Age".
The label for the current period since 1975 is "era of perpetual crisis".
....right into the glorious silicon age.
go