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Once Gay, Always Gay?

millermedia 2012/12/18 12:59:01
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A new law in California tells gay teens it’s impossible to change their sexual orientation. But what if they want to change?

I have a confession to make: I have prayed for many people who struggle with homosexual feelings, and I have asked the Holy Spirit to help them overcome those urges. According to the state of California, that makes me a criminal if the person I prayed for was under 18.

California has banned so-called “reparative therapy,” which is used to cure minors of their homosexual feelings. Upon signing the law in late September, Gov. Jerry Brown said such psychological counseling has led to depression and suicide among gay youth, and he added that any therapy aimed at changing a person’s sexual orientation falls into the category of “quackery.”

The law states that no mental health provider can provide minors with therapies to “change behaviors or gender expressions, or to eliminate or reduce sexual or romantic attractions or feelings toward individuals of the same sex.”

Brown, the majority of California’s legislators and leaders of the gay community say it’s hateful to offer a gay person alternatives if they struggle with same-sex attraction. They believe if young people have gay feelings, they might as well embrace their homosexual identity and get busy acting it out. (Meanwhile, a formerly gay student and two therapists have filed suit against the law, claiming that it is a violation of free speech and freedom of religion.)

We all know homosexuality is a complicated issue, and it requires loads of compassion and sensitivity. I will readily admit the Christian community hasn’t always shown love to homosexuals. But as we develop genuine compassion there are three truths we must never compromise:

1. Homosexuality is not necessarily inborn. The prevailing view in the mainstream psychological community is that if a person feels gay attraction, those feelings permanently define him/her. Change isn’t possible, supposedly, because all homosexuals are “born that way.”

Yet any honest psychologist knows certain factors can trigger gay feelings. I have prayed for many guys, for example, who were haunted by unwanted gay desires because they were sexually abused as children or teens. I have also prayed for women who developed sexual feelings for women after being abused by men; for them, lesbianism provided protection from the men who hurt them.

Some boys develop same-sex feelings because they lack a father figure. A boy’s craving for his absent or distant dad’s affection can lead to sexualization of other men in his life. To ignore such environmental or developmental factors is a gross denial of the obvious. To tell a teenage boy that he must automatically embrace gay feelings—especially when his sexuality is still being developed—is a worse form of quackery than Brown has condemned.

2. The Holy Spirit can heal our broken sexuality. I have known many people who struggled with various levels of homosexual desire before they met Christ—and many who continue to resist those temptations as Christians. Some were in long-term gay relationships; some simply experimented with homosexuality; others got hooked on gay porn. But in every case they found freedom from those urges through honest confession, repentance and healing prayer.

If a young man came to me and admitted he was tempted to seduce women, I would not tell him: “You just have a strong sex drive. Go ahead and have sex with as many girls as you want! That’s just who you are!” That would be crazy. If this teen really wanted to change his behavior I would lead him in a prayer of repentance, deal with the root issues of his problem and encourage him to trust Jesus for the grace to exercise self-control. Why wouldn’t I do the same for a teenager who is attracted to the same sex?

3. Many homosexual strugglers want freedom. Supporters of the California law would probably say I’m being “hateful” if I prayed for a young person who wanted to overcome same-sex urges. But I could turn the argument around and accuse the psychological community of hate because they are not giving gay people any options. Wouldn’t it be more loving to ask a person what they want instead of imposing a lifestyle on them?

One of the most basic truths of Christianity is that Jesus gives us a new nature when we experience conversion. This is the miracle the apostle Paul described in 2 Corinthians 5:17: “Therefore if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creature; the old things passed away; behold, new things have come” (NASB). Why would we offer that freedom to those who struggle with other forms of sin or brokenness, but not to those who want to be free from homosexuality?

Let’s stop being naive. California’s tyrannical law is not based on science or solid psychological theory. It is mean-spirited intolerance, and it will become federal policy if defenders of religious freedom don’t challenge it.

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  • Roberto 2013/01/24 04:34:18
  • moira.faulds.14 2013/01/06 04:54:35
    Undecided
    moira.faulds.14
    +1
    I agree with this posting although it did not show that way on my profile.
  • Marcus Clark 2013/01/06 03:33:39
    Undecided
    Marcus Clark
    Your question headline asks one question while your text makes a different statement. The answer to your question headline is no.
    I mostly agree with the included text.
    Before posting polls, it would be good to stop and look at them. Make sure that what you are asking, what you are explaining, and the answer choices are consistent. Then, after you've made necessary edits, hit the Submit button.
  • captainquiggle 2012/12/27 12:51:07
    I disagree with this posting
    captainquiggle
    +1
    You can, personally, pray for whomever and whatever you want to. That's never against the law.

    What's against the law is to market your prayer as a therapy for ANYTHING, and trying to turn gay people straight THROUGH PRAYER is quackery. It's absurd.

    There's no law saying "Once gay, always gay," but what it does say is that you and any other group that thinks they can "pray away the gay" is nothing more than a scam and full of malarkey. I totally agree with that position.

    Hey, if someone gay decides they aren't gay anymore... that's their decision to make. Why they need "help" to come to that decision is beyond me. Why they need "help" to "stay straight" is also beyond me. Is something inherently wrong with being gay? Should something be wrong with being gay?

    You see, when you think it's WRONG to be gay and feel that those who are gay SHOULD want to REPENT for it, that's HATEFUL. That's what's against the law. The hatred of a group, based on sexual orientation IS AGAINST THE LAW.

    If there was a group out there that used GOD to TURN PEOPLE GAY, you'd have a heart attack.

    All in all, don't you think that GOD has bigger fish to fry? I do.
  • millerm... captain... 2012/12/27 20:02:13
    millermedia
    I am sure that there are gays out there still in the closet who are taking advantage of their positions to lead people into thinking that others should give in to their temptations. All people with addictions need others to stand with them during their process of cleaning clean.
  • captain... millerm... 2012/12/27 21:43:09
    captainquiggle
    +1
    Since when is being gay an addiction?
  • Thank you but no... 2012/12/27 01:14:54
    I disagree with this posting
    Thank you but no...
    +1
    Two points. Praying for people doesn't come under the ban, in my opinion, because I believe the ban only applies to therapies that have some efficacy. Secondly, making out that natural sexual urges are in some way wrong and worthy of guilt while others are not is immoral.
  • Marc m 2012/12/26 01:32:02
    I disagree with this posting
    Marc m
    +3
    I'd say once Black always Black as I am NOTaware of any former Blacks. I am however aware of former homosexuals.
  • The future inspires 2012/12/21 19:37:47
    I disagree with this posting
    The future inspires
    +1
    Quackery in the guise or religious pseudoscience is still quackery. Maybe you should pray my dead grandma's cancer away next. Oh wait...
  • millerm... The fut... 2012/12/22 05:18:45
    millermedia
    How sad that you feel this way.
  • rereblue 2012/12/19 22:08:49
    I disagree with this posting
    rereblue
    +1
    Excuse me, I am not broken, I'm pansexual, and no I don't want to be "fixed and I'm not struggling to get free.

    Sexuality can be fluid yes, but that is more true about women, than men. You can pray for them all you want, but "reparative therapy" is damaging, it tells you that you are wrong for being who you are, and if it works the person usually ends up in completely non-sexual relationships for the rest of their lives. They are who they are, and they wouldn't feel the need to change if they felt accepted.

    What I want you to do is will yourself to be gay to prove that it is a choice, or go hang out with a bunch of gay people to see if you can "learn to be gay". You don't choose who to be attracted to, that's why love is so God damn hard, becasue you can't just decide "this person is good for me, even though I have no emotional or physical attraction, now let me fix that." and then you fall in love.
  • Stix 2012/12/19 20:47:50
    I agree with this posting
    Stix
    +1
    According to most current stats about 2% of the general public are LBGT and yet several recent studies suggest that the children of gay parents are 400 to 500% (8 to 10%) more likely to be gay then then norm which suggests that being gay is a LEARNED BEHAVIOUR in a number of instances...
  • novelistgirl94 2012/12/19 20:13:55
    I agree with this posting
    novelistgirl94
    +1
    Everything you've said makes sense. I know someone who's struggling with this, and she doesn't want to. It's not fair that we have to assume that everyone's gay just because they have the desire. Maybe they are confused about what they feel, or, like you said, missing a certain parental figure of their lives. If they genuinely want the change, why should we stop them? It's not up to us to decide if a person genuinely believes themselves to be gay or not.
  • Navin Johnson (The Jerk) 2012/12/19 19:58:31 (edited)
    I disagree with this posting
    Navin Johnson (The Jerk)
    +1
    some people have gone from being gay to being straight. and why is it,some who are gay WANT to be straight,but there's not a single straight person that wants to be gay? one CAN change their sexual orientation if they want. i'd say most gay people are actually bi-sexual.\and i do know that some people expirement with that type of thing when they're younger,then go on to being with someone the opposite sex. i call the a phase as well. the expirimentating. and almost everyone has had a fantasy or thought about being with someone of the same sex,does that make the automatically gay or bisexual? lots of people don't act uopn these feelings.
  • robinswebnest 2012/12/19 04:25:08
    Undecided
    robinswebnest
    +2
    I am sorry, but I can't agree completely with this blog. My brother was on MP duty in Alaska and had to cut down soldiers dead bodies. Why? Because they figured out that they were gay and knew the stigma attached would make their lives misrable.
    I think people are born gay. They do not wake up one morning and say ' I think I am gay'.
    I also don't believe you can 'cure' someone from being gay. It is like saying you can cure someone from being female or male. They are Gods creatures, however flawed anyone may think.
  • SteveB 2012/12/19 02:30:33
    Undecided
    SteveB
    +1
    Hi.......You are well intended but ignorant of the facts.
    1~Homosexuality IS a born in trait.
    2~You mention the Holy Spirit, so I assume you are Catholic.
    3~Contrary the Catholic Church does NOT consider being Gay is a sin.
    It is the ACT of sexual relations that is sinful.
    I suggest you read ccc (Catholic Catechism) 2357 through 2359
    This CLEARLY defines the Catholic Chuch and it's position of homosexuality.
  • millerm... SteveB 2012/12/19 12:55:21 (edited)
    millermedia
    I am a Protestant Christian and according to the Bible homosexuality is a sin, as well as stealing, lying, gossiping, deceiving, murdering etc., which many Christians will do as well from time to time. I agree with the Catholic Church on the position that being gay may not be a sin, but the practice if it is.
  • SteveB millerm... 2012/12/21 15:22:48
    SteveB
    +2
    Hello If you are a "Christ"ian (meaning follower of Jesus Christ) It is NOT my intention to start an arguement, but you are also misinformed. Everyone quotes Leviticus.
    OK so let's go over a couple of "Abominations"
    1~Do you meat a rare steak~Abomination
    2~Do you eat shrimp? Abomination
    3~Do you touch a pork chop before cooking? Abomination
    4~Do you play the stock market to make money? Abomination
    5~Do you store a steak in your fridge for 3 days before you eat it? Abomination
    6~Does your wife or girlfriend wear a pants suit? Abomination
    7~Do you wear a polyester shirt or pants? Abomination
    8~Ever tell a lie in your life? Abomination
    9~Ever been arrogant in your life? Abomination
    10~Ever get a speeding ticket and wish he wouldn't give you one? Abomination
    11~If you are "Christion" and marry a Jew? Abomination
    12~You shall not lie with a male as with a woman; it is an abomination.
    13~If a man lies with a male as with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination; they shall be put to death, their blood is upon the

    Notice that it says if any male "lies" with a male as a women. It says NOTHING
    about being Gay who abstains from sex.
    Besides Jesus Christ said he came to fulfill the Old Testement
    and HE HIMSELF ate with "Unclean" people and mixed fish with mi...



    Hello If you are a "Christ"ian (meaning follower of Jesus Christ) It is NOT my intention to start an arguement, but you are also misinformed. Everyone quotes Leviticus.
    OK so let's go over a couple of "Abominations"
    1~Do you meat a rare steak~Abomination
    2~Do you eat shrimp? Abomination
    3~Do you touch a pork chop before cooking? Abomination
    4~Do you play the stock market to make money? Abomination
    5~Do you store a steak in your fridge for 3 days before you eat it? Abomination
    6~Does your wife or girlfriend wear a pants suit? Abomination
    7~Do you wear a polyester shirt or pants? Abomination
    8~Ever tell a lie in your life? Abomination
    9~Ever been arrogant in your life? Abomination
    10~Ever get a speeding ticket and wish he wouldn't give you one? Abomination
    11~If you are "Christion" and marry a Jew? Abomination
    12~You shall not lie with a male as with a woman; it is an abomination.
    13~If a man lies with a male as with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination; they shall be put to death, their blood is upon the

    Notice that it says if any male "lies" with a male as a women. It says NOTHING
    about being Gay who abstains from sex.
    Besides Jesus Christ said he came to fulfill the Old Testement
    and HE HIMSELF ate with "Unclean" people and mixed fish with milk.
    OK......GOT IT?
    If you continue with your beliefs I would call you a cafeteria Christian.
    One who picks and chooses what they want to believe and ignores the
    things he doen't want to believe.
    (more)
  • SteveB millerm... 2013/05/03 23:52:03
    SteveB
    I'm sorry you are wrong. It says "Lying with a man as a woman"
    Without the sex act there is no sin.
  • novelis... SteveB 2012/12/19 20:04:23
    novelistgirl94
    I'm a Protestant, too. Lutheran to be exact. There is a major difference in the belief systems.
  • SteveB novelis... 2013/05/03 23:49:28
    SteveB
    Yes, I agree Martin Luther thought he knew better than Jesus Christ and
    so took what he wanted and discarded the rest ie. cafeteria Christian
  • Bolrog 2012/12/19 01:36:14 (edited)
    I agree with this posting
    Bolrog
    +1
    Homosexuality has shown a marked propensity to be in force when a pedophile emerges in the Catholic Church.
  • moby 2012/12/18 22:08:06
    Undecided
    moby
    To be honest I don't know about being gay. But I can say once straight I'll stay straight anyways. So I figure it would be the same for gay people too.
  • WBC_Sux moby 2012/12/18 23:52:02 (edited)
    WBC_Sux
    +1
    To the topic creator: You're over-reacting... you can still pray as much as you want. It's sending these kids off to the degayification camps run by evengalicals that is what is being discussed being banned, not "thought" or "prayer" crime. If that were the case, you could go to jail for praying for the deaths of Westboro Baptist Church members... which means a whooooooooole lot of people would be going to jail.
  • tjr11 2012/12/18 21:18:59
    I agree with this posting
    tjr11
    +3
    At the end of your argument, you mentioned "mean-spirited intolerance." What's more mean-spirited and intolerant than not accepting that someone is Gay or Bisexual?!?! You wannabe-christians speak of hate when you yourselves hate Gay people! Just accept people for whom they are and not for whom you want them to be.
  • novelis... tjr11 2012/12/19 20:08:31
    novelistgirl94
    I'm a Christian, and I don't care if you're homosexual or not. Here's my standings.

    Respecting doesn't mean agreeing. I don't have to agree with you, but I don't have to be a complete jerk about what you believe in either. Your choice, where you stand in that argument, not mine.
  • bill.fleming.77 2012/12/18 19:54:55
    I disagree with this posting
    bill.fleming.77
    You are who you are. No amount of brainwashing from any group cannot change who you really are. An individual may repress their true desire under the fallacy of a cure, but that is all it is. a fallacy
  • Benggo 2012/12/18 19:47:09
    I agree with this posting
    Benggo
    +1
    A leopard can't change its spots springs to mind.
  • JJ 2012/12/18 19:34:01 (edited)
    I disagree with this posting
    JJ
    +1
    That's a bunch of C... Homosexuals can change if they want to. I've known of them changing, getting married [ still are ] and having children. God can help anyone if they want his help...and the ones I know about depended on God, his love, and his support and those gays are straight now.
  • redhorse29 2012/12/18 19:24:57
    I agree with this posting
    redhorse29
    Why not. Once you get used to enjoying the perverse pleasure the pain in the butt; gays are compelled to be a pain in the butt to everyone.
  • Stardust 2012/12/18 19:23:41
  • RJeffreySavlov 2012/12/18 19:08:19
    Undecided
    RJeffreySavlov
    Can't document it one way or the other.
  • Robert 2012/12/18 18:39:41
    Undecided
    Robert
    Only that individual gay person can decide that, I can't decide it for them and have no desire to either. The problem arises, I believe with minors and I can't see where one's religious beliefs has anything to do with another's beliefs.
  • Lerro DeHazel 2012/12/18 18:33:17
    I disagree with this posting
    Lerro DeHazel
    +1
    There's money in this stuff. If it weren't then no one would ever talk about it all the time. It has to be presented as being a problem because within some Circles, that is the number-one topic every, every, everyday!! The Webster's Dictionary is practically re-written now; all because of politicizing something that is surrounded by ideas that are POLITICALLY Changed; immediately, within minutes, if not seconds; after someone states some idea about "fixing this problem" . . . The TRUTH can not be ploughed-over and re-seaded like some kind of weed which is a plant growing in a place where it's unwanted. The TRUTH is this; . . . . LESS-THAN-THREE PER-CENT of the Global Population is Homosexual. I'm sorry; I didn't mean to rain-on-your Parade (NPI) by repeating the TRUTH.
  • gfreeman BN-0 2012/12/18 18:32:15
    I disagree with this posting
    gfreeman BN-0
    They are banning the therapy, not you praying for them. Pray until your head falls off. It does not work anyhow. Ask an amputee.
  • Frank Stephens 2012/12/18 18:30:50
    I agree with this posting
    Frank Stephens
    +2
    Pro-gay activists and their allies want us to believe people are "born gay" and that sexual orientation is an unchangeable characteristic like race or eye color, a closer examination of the scientific evidence reveals that the "nature vs. nurture" debate over homosexuality is far from settled.

    At best, the evidence for a genetic and/or biological basis to homosexual orientation is inconclusive. In fact, beginning with studies in the early 1990s, many attempted to establish a genetic cause for homosexuality and have not proven to be valid or repeatable – two important requirements for study results to become accepted as fact in the scientific community.

    Because of this, the current thinking in the scientific community is that homosexuality is likely caused by a complex interaction of psychosocial, environmental and possible biological factors. And the two leading national psychiatric and psychological professional groups agree that, so far, there are no conclusive studies supporting any specific biological or genetic cause for homosexuality.

    In sum, there is no scientific or DNA test to tell us if a person is homosexual, bisexual or even heterosexual for that matter. And since nobody is "born gay," it's clear that sexual orientation is, at its core, a matter of how one defi...

    Pro-gay activists and their allies want us to believe people are "born gay" and that sexual orientation is an unchangeable characteristic like race or eye color, a closer examination of the scientific evidence reveals that the "nature vs. nurture" debate over homosexuality is far from settled.

    At best, the evidence for a genetic and/or biological basis to homosexual orientation is inconclusive. In fact, beginning with studies in the early 1990s, many attempted to establish a genetic cause for homosexuality and have not proven to be valid or repeatable – two important requirements for study results to become accepted as fact in the scientific community.

    Because of this, the current thinking in the scientific community is that homosexuality is likely caused by a complex interaction of psychosocial, environmental and possible biological factors. And the two leading national psychiatric and psychological professional groups agree that, so far, there are no conclusive studies supporting any specific biological or genetic cause for homosexuality.

    In sum, there is no scientific or DNA test to tell us if a person is homosexual, bisexual or even heterosexual for that matter. And since nobody is "born gay," it's clear that sexual orientation is, at its core, a matter of how one defines oneself – not a matter of biology or genes.

    Most recently, National Gay and Lesbian Task Force spokesperson Roberta Sklar admitted in an ABC news story that today's young lesbians and bisexuals have a "more flexible view" about sexuality and see it as "a fluid thing," with many gays themselves rejecting the belief that sexual orientation is "fixed" and unchangeable.
    (more)
  • saturdayschild 2012/12/18 18:13:21
    I agree with this posting
    saturdayschild
    +1
    I don't think one can change such a fundamental aspect of one's personality.
  • Spyro 2012/12/18 17:49:18
    I disagree with this posting
    Spyro
    +3
    You want good opinions? Leave religion out of your polls. Religion has caused nothing but hate and trouble in this world so leave it out if you want good opinions.
    religious idiot
  • RockitD Spyro 2012/12/18 19:25:30
    RockitD
    +2
    And what about the good that is done? Most likely any moral ideology you have comes from a Judeo-Christian worldview...And for one to just blatantly call someone an idiot because of what they believe is pompous and idiotic in and of itself...
  • Spyro RockitD 2012/12/18 20:01:35
    Spyro
    +1
    What about the good? You wanna praise something for the good that it does when it creates more problems then good? You want to talk about pompous and idiotic? What's pompous and idiotic is for someone to believe in a being that's never shown it's face, spoke to them, or even answered to them and try to make others follow the rules of this being when they have no proof that it's even real when in fact there's hard evidence that it's most likely false and very hypocritical, and then turn around and try to demonize them when they disagree. That's pompous and idiotic, and every religion has done it.

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