Obama Refuses Meeting With Tinky Winky To Keep China Happy
- December 04, 2009 20:39:44
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In a controversial decision that has sent ripples through the international community, the White House said on Friday that President Barack Obama would not be meeting with prominent Teletubby, Tinky Winky.
In spite of Tinky Winky's widespread popularity and the vast numbers of drooling followers he has amassed in the USA, Obama pulled out of a scheduled meeting with the famous Teletubby with the pink handbag without any form of explanation other than the standard 'scheduling conflicts.'
Upon hearing the news, Tinky Winky did a sad dance punctuated by plenty of “Eooo eooo uhh ohhh” laments, then settled down to watch his stomach play a video of small children eating play dough for the third time in five minutes.
Pundits claim that this move is designed to appease the Chinese, who consider the Teletubbies to be dangerous tools of juvenile insurrection. “The children who watch the Teletubbies engage in strange behavior, waddling around and speaking in capitalist devil speak,” a Chinese official said. “Our lexicon of over 60,000 characters should cover all linguistic eventualities, but even we are unable to make any sense of these Teletubbies. It is our opinion that the Teletubbies could very well have anti government motives.”
Critics of Obama have greeted the news with traditional contempt. “President Bush met Tinky Winky several times down on his ranch,” popular conservative talking head Glenn Beck raved tearfully, “But this President, this communist president who stands against everything America stands for, including the right of an ambiguously gendered overgrown space monkey to carry a pink hand bag, refuses to so much as even acknowledge Tinky Winky.” Beck then whimpered, “Oh god I'm so afraid,” at which point Tinky Winy was on hand to give him a big hug and trill “Mooowababa eeooo looooo,” gently into his ear, which seemed to calm Beck down greatly.
“President Obama, if you care about your country, you will meet with this great Teletubby, this Prince of Peace,” Glenn declared from within Tinky Winky's deep purple bosom.
The White House refuses to make any comment on what the media are fast coming to dub 'WinkyGate', but sources have suggested that a seven foot purple dinosaur declaring its love for all and sundry has been seen stalking around the White House of late.
“If Barney is involved in this, there's no way the Obama family are getting out of there unhugged and unloved. May God have mercy on their souls,” a heavily pixelated source covered in cookie crumbs said ominously.
In spite of Tinky Winky's widespread popularity and the vast numbers of drooling followers he has amassed in the USA, Obama pulled out of a scheduled meeting with the famous Teletubby with the pink handbag without any form of explanation other than the standard 'scheduling conflicts.'
Upon hearing the news, Tinky Winky did a sad dance punctuated by plenty of “Eooo eooo uhh ohhh” laments, then settled down to watch his stomach play a video of small children eating play dough for the third time in five minutes.
Pundits claim that this move is designed to appease the Chinese, who consider the Teletubbies to be dangerous tools of juvenile insurrection. “The children who watch the Teletubbies engage in strange behavior, waddling around and speaking in capitalist devil speak,” a Chinese official said. “Our lexicon of over 60,000 characters should cover all linguistic eventualities, but even we are unable to make any sense of these Teletubbies. It is our opinion that the Teletubbies could very well have anti government motives.”
Critics of Obama have greeted the news with traditional contempt. “President Bush met Tinky Winky several times down on his ranch,” popular conservative talking head Glenn Beck raved tearfully, “But this President, this communist president who stands against everything America stands for, including the right of an ambiguously gendered overgrown space monkey to carry a pink hand bag, refuses to so much as even acknowledge Tinky Winky.” Beck then whimpered, “Oh god I'm so afraid,” at which point Tinky Winy was on hand to give him a big hug and trill “Mooowababa eeooo looooo,” gently into his ear, which seemed to calm Beck down greatly.
“President Obama, if you care about your country, you will meet with this great Teletubby, this Prince of Peace,” Glenn declared from within Tinky Winky's deep purple bosom.
The White House refuses to make any comment on what the media are fast coming to dub 'WinkyGate', but sources have suggested that a seven foot purple dinosaur declaring its love for all and sundry has been seen stalking around the White House of late.
“If Barney is involved in this, there's no way the Obama family are getting out of there unhugged and unloved. May God have mercy on their souls,” a heavily pixelated source covered in cookie crumbs said ominously.
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Poor Tinky. And he bought a nice new dress at his favorite consignment store in Juneau just for the occasion.
I have to stop there .... sounds like some people think President Obama isn't doing any work these days ...... even though he has done more in the first year than pa`st presidents have done in years ... and that even with a fallen economy that is now repairing itself.