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IS THIS FAIR TO WISH UPON AN ATHEIST..??

CHUCK 2011/12/14 21:46:45
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A
sneeze started this entire situation off, okay. I'm standing next to
this guy, I don't know this man, I've never met him before in my life,
or in a past life. I can sense this.
Standing next to this man, never met him before. He turns towards me and he sneezes like this, he goes, PHWHUUUH!

Okay, now at this point I'm digusted. And I'm grossed out. Okay. I'm grossed out by it.

And at first I think, I'm going to go off on this guy. And then I
decided, Wait a second Dane, don't do that. Take the high road. Try to
be polite.
So I turn to him and this is what I said. I looked at
him and I went, uhh God Bless You. Yeah, I said it like that. God Bless
You. Which is God Bless You but it kinda sounds like, cover you're
fuckin mouth.
Yeah. Incognito. I turned to the guy. I say God Bless
You by the way when someone sneezed. I don't say Bless You. I don't say
that becauseeee, I'm not the Lord. I can't do that.
I'm just a messenger for big guns upstairs. You know what I'm sayin'?

God
Bless You. This is what the guy comes back with, okay. Here's where it
starts to get out of control. The guy looks at me and very
condescending. He goes, uhhh.. yeahh... I'm an Atheist.
Yeah what a
jerk right? I'm trying to be polite and I don't know you're and
Atheist. And even if I did what and I supposed to say when an Atheist
sneezes? Uhhhh... when you die nothing happens.
So now. Oh
Man. Now I start getting into like, a religious debate with this guy.
And it is awful. Okay. He's questioning my beliefs. Well, what about
you? What, what did you grow up?
Well, I was raised Catholic, I waaas raised Catholic.

As I'm telling him about my religious background, he is laughing at me.
He is Laughing at me. He's giggling. He's like, if you believe this..
hahah.. ohhh.... ahhh. Now for his own entertainment he says this. Let
me ask you this. What do you believe happens to you after um, after you
die?
And I said uhh... okay.. well, hopefully I live a good life
and my soul goes to heaven and when I get there all my ancestors will be
waiting for me like it's an airport.

So he's laughing at my beliefs. And finally, I just snap it.

OKay! What about, What about you? Alright. You're an Atheist. What does
that mean? What happens to you after you die? Now he gets really
serious like he's about to school me. Okay. Oh I can tell you young man.
I can tell you. I KNOW what's going to happen to me after I die.

After I pass on, my body will become one with this earth. From there, I
will become a fertilizer for this planet. And with that. I will return
as a huge, beautiful tree. That's what this guy believes. He laughing at
me. He's going to come back as a fuckin ficus. Yeah..
Johnny weeping willow over here..

I wanted to slam this guy so bad for this right. But then I stopped. I
stopped you guys please hear me out. I let it sink in and I want you
guys to as well.
I hope when he dies he does become a tree. I hope
he's in the middle of the wilderness and he's doing his tree thing.
Whatever it is trees do. And wouldn't it be fantastic if while he was
out there just enjoying his treeness. Through the woods a huge, sweaty
guy with an axe comes along. Sees him. Chops him down. Smash. Put a
chain around him. Drags him through the mud and the muck. Put him into a
sawmill. Grind him up. Then you pound him down into paper. And once
he's paper. You print the Bible on him.

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  • Baggins ~IMBIT~ 2012/03/02 18:08:46
    IT WOULD MAKE NO DIFFERENCE..
    Baggins ~IMBIT~
    *rolls eyes* I am absolutely, totally, thoroughly amazed to note that the person telling this little story (for story it is, not even anecdote, and probably entirely fictional) failed to realize that the atheist wasn't talking about reincarnating as a tree. At no point did the atheist say he would wake up as that tree.

    Once we are dead, the awareness that we currently hold is gone, over, finite. Our bodies are nothing more than decomposing meat-sacks and the thing that made us who we are is gone. So seriously? Cutting down the tree that grows where the body was buried and printing a Bible on it? Makes no difference to anyone, let alone the dead person.
  • Sawdust_128 2011/12/21 18:35:28
    YES..
    Sawdust_128
    Send him one of these...........

    xmas card
  • JuliaLoren Sawdust... 2012/01/12 21:37:27
    JuliaLoren
    +1
    i find it funny that Santa is insulting someone for not believing in god, when he himself is an insult to Jesus....
  • Sawdust... JuliaLoren 2012/01/13 05:00:50
    Sawdust_128
    I find it sad that you spent any time thinking about it. Get a life. Get over yourself and move along. Nothing for you here.
  • JuliaLoren Sawdust... 2012/01/13 14:52:16
  • Sawdust... JuliaLoren 2012/01/13 18:44:53
    Sawdust_128
    Sure you were.
  • JuliaLoren Sawdust... 2012/01/13 21:18:06
    JuliaLoren
    hahaha i didn't know you would take personal offense to something that was offending Santa if anyone lmfao i think you should calm down
  • Sawdust... JuliaLoren 2012/01/13 21:30:40
    Sawdust_128
    You could have ended after the "I didn't know" part. You were restating the obvious.
  • JuliaLoren Sawdust... 2012/01/13 21:40:23
    JuliaLoren
    well "i didn't know" would be an incomplete response to "sure you were" and i wouldn't want to leave ya hanging! ;) just keep being a total dick for no reason, im pretty bored right now so i don't really care!
  • Matt 2011/12/18 06:37:50
    YES..
    Matt
    After you die, what happens to your earthly body is really out of your control. Pharaohs were mummified and used slave labor to guarantee their eternal afterlife in a museum somewhere.
  • Radical Ed 2011/12/17 12:57:07
  • Quazimoto 2011/12/16 15:10:15
    IT WOULD MAKE NO DIFFERENCE..
    Quazimoto
    +1
    The man who sneezed was a typical liberal atheist. If you do not believe what I believe I will mock you and call you names. I personally can only shake my head and say a prayer for him. Having had a near death experience myself it blows my mind how selfish,
    greedy and ignorant man truly is. Man is like a child, you tell the stove is hot, until the child actually touches the stove for himself he is skeptical. Same goes for near death experiences.
  • hannah 2011/12/16 00:59:03
    YES..
    hannah
    +1
    wow i cant believe that guy was being such an oversensitive loser. and on top of that he wants to be a tree after he dies. a TREE. wooooowwww. thats idiotic. (p.s. LMAO! I love the last part. XDDDD )
  • lucky 2011/12/15 14:03:04
    IT WOULD MAKE NO DIFFERENCE..
    lucky
    +1
    I think Shawna said it best in her comment...
    http://www.sodahead.com/unite...
  • FluffyCupcakespanker~PWCM~JLA 2011/12/15 13:11:39
    IT WOULD MAKE NO DIFFERENCE..
    FluffyCupcakespanker~PWCM~JLA
    +2
    Both people are being childish in this story, just get a grip already. I would have ended it with sorry I was trying to be polite and walk away.
  • Racefish 2011/12/15 12:57:44
    YES..
    Racefish
    +1
    And it's hilarious.
  • Robbb 2011/12/15 07:13:30
    IT WOULD MAKE NO DIFFERENCE..
    Robbb
    +1
    So what do you think will happen to you when you get into heaven? I mean seriously, Assuming your scenario is correct Is our reward for being pious people permanent satisfaction for ever and ever and ever and ever add infinitummmmm. By the way you can say what many Europeans do and gesundheit. which means health I have to admit though that you did not really understand what he was talking about. He drew you a picture of what could happen with the fertilizer and minerals that return to the earth. And I would be chucling under my breath as Well. Heaven?
  • Z 2011/12/15 06:47:01
    Undecided
    Z
    +1
    This is a Dane Cook joke. Please quote it.
  • gldynmd BTO-t-BCRA-F 2011/12/15 06:07:27
    IT WOULD MAKE NO DIFFERENCE..
    gldynmd BTO-t-BCRA-F
    I think I would have gotten smart with him. I couldnt have kept my cool. Specially with him laughing. Rude sneezer guy!
  • Nam Era Vet #1 DNA TLC 2011/12/15 05:17:13
    IT WOULD MAKE NO DIFFERENCE..
    Nam Era Vet #1 DNA TLC
    Just sounds like a rude guy, no matter what his leanings. I know some pretty nasty Christians that if I wasn't a strong Christian myself, I would have quit being a Christian if I thought they were the example of what a "Christian" was supposed to be.
  • Shawna 2011/12/15 04:24:56
    IT WOULD MAKE NO DIFFERENCE..
    Shawna
    +2
    I always cover my mouth when I sneeze so you would not have been in a position to be angry with me. If you said "God Bless You" to me I would say thank you. Yes, I'm an atheist but how does it hurt me for you to say that? It sounds like you met an uncouth jerk and uncouth jerks come with all types of beliefs or lack thereof. Is it fair to wish on him what you did? I think it is a reaction of anger and we all have those. If you believe in God, I suppose it should really only matter to you what your God would think of those thoughts.
  • studioeastrat 2011/12/15 03:21:32
    IT WOULD MAKE NO DIFFERENCE..
    studioeastrat
    To me it is just a saying. I wouldn't be offended.
  • Brian ☮ R P ☮ 2012 ☮ 2011/12/15 03:12:32
    IT WOULD MAKE NO DIFFERENCE..
    Brian ☮ R P ☮ 2012 ☮
    +1
    As an atheist myself, you could wish anything you want on me after my death, as my existent being and knowing of anything ends with my death.
  • Xerxes 2011/12/15 03:04:39
    IT WOULD MAKE NO DIFFERENCE..
    Xerxes
    +1
    Please have one of them explain this asd
  • CHUCK Xerxes 2011/12/15 03:07:28
    CHUCK
    +1
    GREAT SIGN..
  • Xerxes CHUCK 2011/12/15 03:10:49
    Xerxes
    +1
    It is a real sign
  • Pele Emerging 2011/12/15 03:03:19
    IT WOULD MAKE NO DIFFERENCE..
    Pele Emerging
    +1
    I think I would say that I'd rather come back as a dog, so I could pee on his tree!
  • Karl 2011/12/15 02:46:23
    IT WOULD MAKE NO DIFFERENCE..
    Karl
    +1
    Yep, gotta love some Christians. So nice to everyone they encounter.
  • Rebel [SHP] 2011/12/15 02:12:30
    IT WOULD MAKE NO DIFFERENCE..
    Rebel [SHP]
    +1
    It's a saying. Anyone taking offense to it needs to be checked mentally. No one is that petty, even those in favor of political correctness corrupting America.
  • santanasmooth 2011/12/15 02:11:26
    IT WOULD MAKE NO DIFFERENCE..
    santanasmooth
    +1
    very christian of you i think you just proved his point why he is an atheist
  • Loverofcountry 2011/12/15 01:36:51 (edited)
    IT WOULD MAKE NO DIFFERENCE..
    Loverofcountry
    +3
    So he thinks he will return as a tree. Well, that's nice, or maybe he will return as a field of grass, and a cow will eat the grass and he will be turned into a..pile of...







    thinks return tree return feild grass cow ear grass turned
  • Bob, the reasonable one 2011/12/15 01:25:31
    IT WOULD MAKE NO DIFFERENCE..
    Bob, the reasonable one
    +3
    Depends upon the mood I'm in when someone sneezes and doesn't cover their mouth....I have gone medieval on people sneezed on me...I'm not proud of it...but if I get spittle on my face....I'm not responsible for my actions.....
  • Pele Em... Bob, th... 2011/12/15 03:05:25
    Pele Emerging
    +1
    I don't blame you. Gross! It's happened to me several times, especially with the smaller silly people at school, but an adult? He might have been close to finding out whether he would meet God or become the tree of his dreams!
  • Aqua Surf BTO-t-BCRA-F 2011/12/15 01:21:57
    Undecided
    Aqua Surf BTO-t-BCRA-F
    +3
    I'm not sure what the question means, but if someone said, "God Bless You" after I sneezed, I wouldn't take offense. I might look a bit puzzled though, since I haven't heard the expression in years. All I ever hear is just "Bless you".
  • Ken 2011/12/15 00:32:34
    YES..
    Ken
    +4
    Paper in a Bible, now wouldn't that really freak him out?
  • OPOA912 2011/12/15 00:15:21
    YES..
    OPOA912
    +4
    I love my freedom and I welcome those who have the freedom to express themselves however they choose. That begin said, the vast majority of Americans are Christian. Acknowledging someone's right not to believe is an American and Christian belief, but don't take down a nativity scene just because your 2.3% of the population doesn't like it. As Christians we are tolerant, but not weak in our belief system. We will fight for what we believe in, so don't go throwing around your 1st Amendment rights and try to make me be quiet. After all, when we elect someone to office it's not who was the loudest, it's who received the majority of the votes.
  • whitebear62 2011/12/14 23:20:17
    YES..
    whitebear62
    +3
    If someone wishes a blessing on another, the person need not be a believer to gracefully accept what is a benign gesture. Graceful acceptance does not constitute conversion. If the answer is as yours was, I suggest this as a possibilty, should this occur again. Uhhh .... I'm an atheist. Well, in that case, cover your mouth and have a great day.
  • er54c 2011/12/14 23:02:06
    Undecided
    er54c
    +1
    Way to rip off dane cook
  • goblue1968 2011/12/14 22:56:38
    IT WOULD MAKE NO DIFFERENCE..
    goblue1968
    +1
    You can wish whatever you want upon an atheist, because nothing you say will change the fact that when you're dead, you're dead and that's the last thing you will ever know when the lights go out.
  • JHup BN-0 2011/12/14 22:29:34
    IT WOULD MAKE NO DIFFERENCE..
    JHup BN-0
    +2
    I don't think the atheist would care, one way or the other. Dane Cook is pretty funny!

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