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High School Teacher Gives Tough Love Graduation Speech: Are You Exceptional or Just Like Everyone Else?

SodaHead News 2012/06/11 13:00:00
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Usually, graduation speeches encourage grads to charge into the world with their chins held high, that diploma proudly tucked under their arm. You've graduated college; you're exceptional; it's time to make something of yourself. But that's not exactly how David McCullough Jr.'s speech went when the English teacher spoke at Wellesley High's commencement this year. On the contrary. He told graduates they're just like everyone else, and the controversial message immediately went viral.

McCullough said, "You are not special. You are not exceptional ... Even if you're one in a million, on a planet of 6.8 billion that means there are nearly 7,000 people just like you ... You've been pampered, cosseted, doted upon, helmeted, bubble wrapped ... We have of late, we Americans, to our detriment, come to love accolades more than genuine achievement ... The sweetest joys of life, then, come only with the recognition that you're not special. Because everyone is." What do you think of the tough love speech?

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  • El Prez 2012/06/11 17:21:45
    I'm exceptional!
    El Prez
    +10
    Because I have spent the better part of my life making sure that I am exceptional. However, by the standards set by Mr. McCullough, I am not unique. Unique is rare, exceptional is more easily attained. The later day inclination to give trophys for participation, praise all miltary personel as heros and in general dilute real achievment and heroism, has created something of a feeling of special priviledge among some of our youth. The "tough love" speech might be useful so long as the message of carrying on to find your exceptional character is contained within. He was trying to wake them to the truth and that is always good.

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  • VICTORIA GLaDOS 2012/06/15 03:22:37
    VICTORIA
    So you're saying soldiers sacrifice their lives to avoid survivor's guilt?
    That's quite a stretch I think.
    It would require that any person has the foresight and presence of mind to foresee a scenario where they would become guilty in the future if they didn't act?
    Those decisions aren't made in the fullness of time and consideration- but immediately and instinctively.
    People only think about survivors guilt after the fact- most are not aware it exists- let alone predicate their behavior on it's possibility!

    Have you ever thrown yourself between an aggressor and an innocent? I have, in several instances- and have the twice broken nose to prove it.
    That's the point- concern for the self was negated- it was concern for the other person that took precedence-

    Gandhi sacrificed a bit more than the quality of his life- he sacrificed his very life. You know that he was aware of the dangers the day that he went to that prayer meeting. Do you know who killed him? And why? The RSS is thriving today- fueled by their hatred and prejudice- hell- we gave them 85 million dollars worth of nukes recently.

    Where exactly were you going with this line of thought?
  • GLaDOS VICTORIA 2012/06/15 03:47:31
    GLaDOS
    Yes, I have thrown myself between an aggressor and an innocent, on many occasions. Well, not "thrown" per say, but I've certainly intervened, sometimes physically, between two people. It's because it's part of my value system.

    You see, concern for the self includes one's values. If I let someone be beaten on, then my values would have been sacrificed. It's much easier to sacrifice my comfort, and my body for my values. You're making my point for me, here.

    You see? Self isn't just your body, or your life, it's your beliefs, and your values, as well. When you're willing to sacrifice those for another person, along with your body and life, then, as I said, you may just be truly selfless.
  • VICTORIA GLaDOS 2012/06/15 04:18:08
    VICTORIA
    Well, "thrown" per se- is the criteria. And it was specifically physical, and clearly meant receiving the punishment and taking it for another.

    As I've repeated several times now- it is an instinct.
    "Intervening" was not the example I gave. It does not contain the elements mentioned.

    From your own example- a soldier doesn't 'intervene' between an intended victim and a bullet.
    But that was your own standard- not mine.

    It just so happens it is within my realm of experience.

    I don't actually understand how sacrificing your beliefs and values constitute a selfless criteria.

    That would be the antithesis of it.

    Can you tel me some of the selfless activities you have pro-actively performed that make you believe this has any importance? You have provided several as your proofs.

    And if not, I will proceed to share some of my own anecdotes- I don't hold anecdotes up as proof of anything other than that people do things.

    But I do have my own discernment to impart regarding my own.
  • GLaDOS VICTORIA 2012/06/15 05:14:45
    GLaDOS
    I haven't done anything selfless. In fact, I do everything according to my own belief system and values.

    On the other hand, if we're talking about "instincts" then it's not a conscious decision, in which case, the real "value" of it is completely removed, as it is an unconscious action. Noble, certainly, but I wouldn't necessarily say it's selfless, because it can't be a conscious decision.
  • VICTORIA GLaDOS 2012/06/16 04:13:38
    VICTORIA
    That's alright. You have a self awareness, what more could anyone ask of another person?
    So do I.
    I'll respect your own self identification, even when you clearly don't respect mine.

    Nope- we're not talking about instincts.
    After self awareness, comes awareness of other selves.
    Then the evolution to selflessness.

    Maybe your instincts and natural inclination lend you to create a certain stability and permanence within society- good for you.

    I appreciate you.
  • GLaDOS VICTORIA 2012/06/17 04:38:19 (edited)
    GLaDOS
    Alright, then I respect the fact that you want to believe yourself selfless. That's fine, I simply don't think that selflessness exists.
  • VICTORIA GLaDOS 2012/06/21 03:37:24
    VICTORIA
    What a backhanded and weird thing to say.
    I would rather you don't respect a thing that isn't true.

    All I ask from anyone- and I am completely consistent with this-

    is that people be given the basic human dignity to define themselves.

    I won't try to tell you who you are- or what your limits are.

    You can try to limit me- I don't care- but it doesn't matter.
  • GLaDOS VICTORIA 2012/06/22 20:32:48
    GLaDOS
    As I said, I don't believe that selflessness exists. If you do, and you want to call yourself that, it's your choice and you're free to it.

    I was not being sarcastic, nor indirect or devious. So, "backhanded" doesn't really apply.
  • VICTORIA GLaDOS 2012/06/23 02:00:31
    VICTORIA
    I don't "believe" selflessness exists. I know it does.
    Strangely enough- it has nothing to do with me, or my self perception.
    That would be the epitome of...selfishness, wouldn't it?
  • GLaDOS VICTORIA 2012/06/26 15:46:03
    GLaDOS
    Whatever you say. You arguing your belief/knowledge of selflessness is selfish in itself, as well.
  • VICTORIA GLaDOS 2012/06/27 01:25:12
    VICTORIA


    Could be! I have to think about it.
  • diarslade VICTORIA 2012/06/14 08:09:18 (edited)
    diarslade
    You miss her point entirely, and you don't really understand what your saying. Sure you understand it the way society tells you to understand selflessness, but the fact still does remain. It doesn't exist. (Okay well it does, but so called "selfless" people think the world owes them something for their sacrifice. My mother was one of those people.)

    Do you think MLK, Gandhi, or Mandela bitched about doing what they were doing? Think they complained? No they didn't. They trudged on through gladly it made them feel good.

    You mistake selfless for good, and selfish for bad. To be perfectly honest with you, the former is detrimental to both you and the people around you. It leads to resentment among other things.

    Oh, and don't talk down to GLaDOS. A lot of people simply don't get her. She's easily best, most compassionate, and honest person I know. You simply refuse to wrap your head around the concept that people that do great things, feel good about what they're doing, that there is something in it for them. That is not a cynical view point, nor does it tarnish their great deeds. It enhances them, it makes them heroes. Heroes don't bitch about being heroes...unless they are Spider-man.
  • VICTORIA diarslade 2012/06/15 01:40:47
    VICTORIA
    And it seems you didn't bother to read what I posted, but rushed to the defense of your friend.
    The point of selflessness is, that it is done for ---well- selfless reasons- without expectation-
    Consider the possibility that your experiences with your mother may have caused you some personal harm or hurt- and you view everyone who uses the word through the lenses that are colored by her expressions.

    I was talking purely about my own experiences- when she refused to acknowledge them as valid- I thought maybe the experiences of notable selfless servants to humanity might help.

    But, without being aware of it- you seemed to have proven Glados case AGAINST her- which is that selflessness does not exist.

    Maybe you could actually read MY posts- before you make a judgment.
  • diarslade VICTORIA 2012/06/15 02:00:30 (edited)
  • VICTORIA diarslade 2012/06/15 02:11:06
    VICTORIA
    Which post dear?
    I've never really "given" to charity. Not written many checks.
    I have started one or two- but I didn't touch money when I did that.
    I didn't make any value judgement- one way or the other- where did I say selfish people bad?

    There's a phenomenon known as a giver's high- you've gotten your recompense with the high you feel. You're right- that is not selflessness at all.

    I truly am sorry that you haven't met people yet who are truly selfless in their life of service.
    I have. Many times. Maybe you will too.
    Never say never my young friend.
  • diarslade VICTORIA 2012/06/15 02:22:19 (edited)
    diarslade
    Oh, and how exactly did I prove her case against GLaDOS? Because I mentioned that MLK, Ghandi and others weren't selfless because what they were doing was for their own benefit? Wait...isn't that kind of selfish?

    You are making judgments, you may not have said "selfish people are bad." but it's not hard to read between the lines. Unfortunately, I don't buy your life experience either. You haven't met selfless people. You may have perceived them as selfless, perhaps perceived your own actions as selfless as well. That's all it is, a perception.

    No one, and I mean no one. Does something without their being some kind of benefit to themselves. Even if the benefit is "I'd feel bad if I didn't" or something along those same lines. Which many people such as MLK, Ghandi, etc are quoted saying similar reasons for their actions, thus rendering them selfish on some level

    You say you've met selfless people? What exactly made them selfless?
  • VICTORIA diarslade 2012/06/15 03:35:02
    VICTORIA
    Ok, good. You're right- I didn't say selfish people are bad.
    That's a start.

    If you "don't buy" my life experience- you are saying that I'm lying.
    And I don't respect that.
    I have a lifetime of deep and significant experiences to share-
    but you are too hostile.
    I really am sorry- I'm sorry that you've experienced a poverty of depth in your personal painful experiences.
    I did something kind for someone without benefit to me 10 minutes ago from a knock on my door.

    If you really are interested in plumbing the depths of the soul of one who will speak with authority to this issue- based upon a simple life-
    I'll be open to that- but only with the prerequisite that you presume the honesty and earnestness of my views- as I do yours.

    It's likely annoying to you that I understand your animus-
    my intent is not to make you feel like less of anything.
    But I also have value- and I do insist that you treat me with some presumption of honesty and respect- or not engage at all.
  • diarslade VICTORIA 2012/06/15 03:57:15
    diarslade
    I didn't exactly say you were lying. Just that I don't think you've actually experienced what you say. There is a difference.

    I actually haven't experienced any lack of depth in my personal dealings. I've met, and interacted with great people that would sooner take a bullet for a friend than let something bad happen to them. I know people that give to charity, even though they barely make enough money to feed themselves.

    Do not assume I've only come into contact with bad people, or have nothing but bad experience. I've actually had fairly good experiences with people.

    I just don't consider the good people I've met to be selfless. You don't have to gain something to benefit from doing something.

    If I jump in front of a bullet going for a friend, all I gain is a bullet hole. If I'm lucky enough to live I have hospital payments. So it's not really all that smart for me to jump in front of the bullet. I lose some flesh, and some money. Yet I'd still do it because I'd rather get hurt than my friend. I benefit from my friend not getting hurt, it's my motivation. As good, or heroic a deed that may be. It isn't a selfless one.
  • VICTORIA diarslade 2012/06/15 04:26:19
    VICTORIA
    No dearheart. There's no difference.

    " I don't buy your life experience either. You haven't met selfless people."

    I'm not selling anything for you to buy.

    I was never talking about the superficial mental masturbation of giving money to charity. That is a careless and lazy act.

    "You don't have to gain something to benefit from doing something."

    I don't understand what that means, or how it makes sense.

    As I said, I do insist that you treat me with a complete presumption of honesty and respect- or not engage at all.

    Like I sad, if you'd like some actual examples- to wrap your mind around- I'm open to that.

    It seems it has never occurred to you to ask me what my opinion of what constitutes selfless behavior might be- so busy are you telling me what it isn't.
  • VICTORIA diarslade 2012/06/21 03:35:30
    VICTORIA
    Yes, you've mentioned your mother several times now.

    I'll tell you what, you define yourself, and I'll respect that=
    and I'll define myself- and won't care whether your or Glados or anyone agrees with or respects it.
  • ღ♥ღ ℒea... GLaDOS 2012/06/12 06:45:31
    ღ♥ღ ℒea ღ♥ღ
    +2
    your last sentence got me puzzled.

    These days schools treat everyone as a "winner"... everyone gets a trophy, whether they placed or not. Giving kids false impressions that they are exceptional only leads them to a rude awakening when they step out in the real world.

    Life is not fair, life is hard... when going for a job... not everyone gets one like the "trophy mentality"... it's a dog eat dog eat world. And I believe he was trying to let them know this to better them for the reality of the world they are stepping into.

    How do you tie that to abortion?
  • GLaDOS ღ♥ღ ℒea... 2012/06/12 10:28:46
    GLaDOS
    +1
    Well, people like to suggest that "every" life is precious when they argue abortion. But, not every life really is, particularly with how many of us there are, and the likelihood that the "potential future President/discoverer of the cure for AIDS/Cancer/whatever" will truly only end up achieving, at best, the same mediocrity as everyone else... if they're lucky. They could also be the world's next tyrant.
  • ღ♥ღ ℒea... GLaDOS 2012/06/12 21:46:49
    ღ♥ღ ℒea ღ♥ღ
    every life is precious... just because every human being is not a Mother Teresa or a Gandhi or a world leader... does not make them any less precious. There are so many things people do every day and it goes unannounced... one's life should not be measured by accolades, but by the enjoyment we get out living.

    This teacher's message was preparing the students for the real world... the world that is harsh and unfair and doesn't care if they get their feelings hurt.
  • GLaDOS ღ♥ღ ℒea... 2012/06/12 23:31:50
    GLaDOS
    +1
    I can agree with the sentiment that life should be measured by the living. And I certainly agree that the world's not very nice, at all.
  • Mike Forti GLaDOS 2012/06/12 11:14:27
    Mike Forti
    +3
    I agree with the speech in that a lot of college grads need to be humbled a bit before walking into the greater working world. HOWEVER... your final argument is an exercise in reductio ad absurdum. To extend this into a justification for abortion is DISGUSTING.

    That is a socialist outlook. Socialists believe that nobody is special... that people are numbers, an expendable currency that can and should be 'purged' for some imagined greater good. Over a hundred million people were murdered in the last century alone due to that outlook.

    It starts with abortion, and moves to post-partem eradication of those with birth defects, retardation and mental issues. It eventually moves towards forced sterilization of 'undesirables', and the demand for full conformity to an imagined 'norm'. This brings 're-education', torture and murder of those who don't comply.

    Most people engage in an abortion debate by arguing as to whether or not a fetus is indeed a thinking, feeling human or a lump of flesh without human characteristics. You assert that it is indeed human, but unexceptional and can therefore be killed without guilt. That is disturbing and moves beyond socialistic into the sociopathic.
  • GLaDOS Mike Forti 2012/06/12 11:50:09
    GLaDOS
    How interesting that even the Good ol' U.S. of A practiced forced sterilization of "undesirables" in the last forty years.

    I don't believe I pointed out, anywhere, in any of my comments that the beginning of a person was a "human." I simply say that the people they have the potential to become are, generally, mediocre, same with those who actually make it to birth.
  • Mike Forti GLaDOS 2012/06/12 12:04:23
    Mike Forti
    +1
    The United States did indeed engage in a few 'social engineering' projects back in the day (as did most countries). These were eventually rooted out of almost every developed country as the socialist plague that they were.

    You just now showed your hand again. Your argument is that people are 'mediocre', and therefore expendable? That is a truly sociopathic outlook. Seek help!
  • GLaDOS Mike Forti 2012/06/12 14:02:34
    GLaDOS
    +1
    Contrary to your sophomoric analysis, I am not a sociopath. Quite the opposite, in fact, as people with ASPD have a tendency to do little else but lie, a practice I do my best not to partake in, nor am I very good at it, as impulsivity drives me to say whatever comes to mind as it does, I'm not particularly irritable, I don't steal, and so on. I have issues, ASPD is not one of them.

    Now, I am tired, however, which lends to my utter lack of care, and my tendency to be rather dispassionate... of course, this is the Internet, and I've been on it long enough that I could have simply become utterly jaded with the fact that the breadth it reached in the late 90's brought in all sorts of vapid people.

    That said, welcome to Sodahead, unless, of course, you're some silly person who blocked me, and made a puppet account to bypass their own action as I don't block people. Have a good day. If you respond, I'll deal with it later.
  • ღ♥ღ ℒea... GLaDOS 2012/06/12 21:55:15
    ღ♥ღ ℒea ღ♥ღ
    I have seen so many people here act all high and mighty... I actually admire your honesty.
  • GLaDOS ღ♥ღ ℒea... 2012/06/12 23:33:13
    GLaDOS
    +1
    That's a rare event. lol My honesty tends to get me into trouble quite a bit.
  • diarslade ღ♥ღ ℒea... 2012/06/12 23:33:59
    diarslade
    +1
    I'm high and mighty, and awesome. and Unique! >.> Totally yo! *chuckles* Sorry just had to chime in. GLaDOS is always like this, so she gets <3s
  • Soundstorm 2012/06/12 05:50:25
    I'm exceptional!
    Soundstorm
    +1
    I've lived an exceptional life since I got out into the world and away from the parochial indoctrination of college.
  • Raithere 2012/06/12 05:27:29
    I guess I'm just like everyone else...
    Raithere
    +3
    No guessing about it, in every significant way we are all but identical.
    The rest is nothing but ego.
  • Laura Sierra 2012/06/12 05:25:01
    I'm exceptional!
    Laura Sierra
    +1
    With non-supportive alcoholic parents , no one told me I was anything..I became exceptional by not being like them . Screw this teacher for thinking that all children are cherished, wanted , or even treated like a human being.
  • Joey 2012/06/12 05:11:31
    I'm exceptional!
    Joey
    I did not like the speech at all . If you want to get into a debate about if people are really special or not . A graduation is not the place for it . However I still hold on to the notion that everyone is special. If anyone on of use were to dead tonight .. There would be people who lives change because of it . To those people we are special .
  • David 2012/06/12 04:53:52
    I'm exceptional!
    David
    I think that in order to be exceptional or unique, one must believe that they are before hand. His speech works for some, not for others.
  • Carson 2012/06/12 04:51:18
    I'm exceptional!
    Carson
    Im exceptional for I am completly different in all political and social aspects for my peer group.
  • Common Sense Conservative 2012/06/12 04:48:04
    I guess I'm just like everyone else...
    Common Sense Conservative
    +1
    I 100% agree. But this speech wasn't to degrade rather it was to let these grads know that they need to take charge and make life better.
  • Nan 2012/06/12 04:42:19
    I guess I'm just like everyone else...
    Nan
    +1
    Good speech and very true.
  • VICTORIA Nan 2012/06/12 05:58:55
    VICTORIA
    +1
    Except when it comes to American Exceptionalism.

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