Group Question :: The Smartass Group

GREEN FUNERALS - Are you aware of them? How do you want to go? What will be your last and final statement to the planet. What kind of tree would you like to leave in your name?

\V/ May 28, 2009 01:37:45

I'm one of the founders of the Rainforest Action Network. My parents put me on an airplane, a Pan Am DC-10 in 1955 from Los Angeles to Ecuador, South America where I spent the next 10 years with my aunt. I flew very close to the ground, over green mountains, forests and the largest swamp in the world, the Darian swamp, between Colombia and Panama.

Since then I have driven to South America several times and also received a grant from Sir Paul McCartney to do a speaking tour of South America about the dangers of deforestation.

In my travels I have seen rain forests turn to deserts in my short lifespan. Here in Colorado, pollution has weakened the immune system of millions of acres of pine trees. They are dying from pine beetle infestation. We need to reforest the planet.

When I returned to the USA in the 60's, my mom took me to see a dark comedy titled, "The Loved One". In this movie, a rich man dies of suicide and his nephew has to make the funeral arrangements. He is taken to a "showroom" where he is browbeaten into buying the most expensive casket, made of tropical hardwoods, with the finest silk lining and steel.

Each year 5,000,400.00 pounds of steel are buried in caskets. Thirty million board feet of tropical hardwoods and and close to 900,000. gallons of toxic embalming fluid are used in these funerals in the USA alone.

For more info, please go to my web site:

http://www.greenfuneralscolorado.com/

Here I present my idea of a Green Funeral. A way to leave the planet with more trees, return to the earth mother leaving a living tree that has nourished itself from your body as a living testament of your final carbon footprint on earth.

Instead of burning your body to an ashen Dorito, you could do something good, for your friends, for your family and for all the loved ones you leave behind. A living example, a cooling shade, a place for a picnic.

So if you had your choice of tree as your final legacy, what would it be?
Eat me! I want a nut tree. Eat my nuts people!

Eat me! I want a nut tree. Eat my nuts people!

11%

4 votes

Pine tree. You greenies need to wipe your butt with a pine cone!

Pine tree. You greenies need to wipe your butt with a pine cone!

6%

2 votes

Forget that! Bury me in a tux and a pine box! I'm a politician!

Forget that! Bury me in a tux and a pine box! I'm a politician!

0%

0 votes

Undecided

6%

2 votes

None of the above

78%

28 votes

You must be a member of the group The Smartass Group to vote on this poll.

Top Comment
  • +6 Epistemically Justified May 29, 2009 19:36:20
    Epistemically Justified

    None of the above

    My research advisor introduced me to Eternal Reefs -- by mixing human ashes with a sort of concrete material, the constructs are able to support isolated reef life, another environmentally sound alternative.

    concrete material constructs support isolated reef life environmentally sound alternative
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  • +5
    The Bantam Seditioner - Bla... August 24, 2009 13:23:34
    The Bantam Seditioner - Black Market Minister

    None of the above

    Plant some cannabis seeds in soil enriched by my decaying body. Then my best buds can have a blast smoking me!
  • +4
    mara July 08, 2009 05:17:57
    mara

    None of the above

    Eat my cherry
  • Duke---... mara October 22, 2009 12:29:30
    Duke----The Non Racist, Funny Duke !
    I could say something here but I...I...aw hell.....I'D LOVE TO!!

    Oh and love your playlist especially the 1st one
  • +1
    mara Duke---... October 23, 2009 03:59:58
    mara
    Well I love cherrys and cherry trees. I think it would be a good way to be remembered. My playlist is random. Blessings Dukiman
  • turkey pepperoni June 01, 2009 21:12:30
    turkey pepperoni

    None of the above

    yep. i thought it would be a fun business to start.

    yep fun business
  • +1
    JarJarThinks June 01, 2009 20:22:23
    JarJarThinks

    None of the above

    Screw the vikings, I've left clear instructions that they are to round up and enslave all my arch enemies, which includes annoying sodaheads, forcing them, as well as 4 generations of their offspring, to construct around my dead body, an exact replica of some famous Pyramid in one of those countries that have Pyramids. Littered throughout will be little non-cute pink bunnies in different killer Judo poses as a reminder that any who desecrates MY Pyramid will have the bunnies to answer to.
  • WannaBe... JarJarT... October 24, 2009 18:45:28
    WannaBeRSC the Contrarian SOB
    That's cool. It's good to see imagination. :-)
  • +3
    boddleblonde May 29, 2009 23:07:36
    boddleblonde

    None of the above

    I've already been researching Green Burial's. Seems to be the best way to go.
    http://www.greenburialcouncil...
  • +2
    tebearcalvary May 29, 2009 22:54:53
    tebearcalvary

    None of the above

    i want to be burned on a longboat with a whore and my weapons. like a fucking viking burned longboat whore weapons fucking viking
  • Brian Kemp tebearc... August 24, 2009 15:40:38
    Brian Kemp
    Don't forget the slain dog at your feet as they light the longboat on fire.
  • Kino tebearc... October 18, 2009 00:57:28
    Kino
    Dammit! That's what I wanted to post.
  • Kaldaddy1 May 29, 2009 22:04:43
    Kaldaddy1

    Eat me! I want a nut tree. Eat my nuts people!

    Well, I'd actually want to spring up a Spanish Oak.

    But yeah, just dump this useless corpse in a hole and kick some dirt on top. No need to spend money on a dead man anyways... (Maybe dump a bottle of Guiness on my head, for ol' times sake)
  • Sonomorte ~♥ loves Steph ♥ May 29, 2009 19:48:40
    Sonomorte ~♥ loves Steph ♥

    Eat me! I want a nut tree. Eat my nuts people!

    I still want to be ash, as my ancestors.
  • +6
    Epistemically Justified May 29, 2009 19:36:20
    Epistemically Justified

    None of the above

    My research advisor introduced me to Eternal Reefs -- by mixing human ashes with a sort of concrete material, the constructs are able to support isolated reef life, another environmentally sound alternative.

    concrete material constructs support isolated reef life environmentally sound alternative
  • +3
    \V/ Epistem... May 29, 2009 22:12:37
    \V/
    The whole point of Green Funerals is NOT to make ashes. Not to add to the polution of the planet
  • +1
    Epistem... \V/ May 30, 2009 01:47:57
    Epistemically Justified
    The whole point of my post is to point out that there are many alternatives (with different benefits and different drawbacks) to take advantage of.
  • Lessa \V/ August 24, 2009 14:12:13
    Lessa
    The Jewish people have been burying their dead for thousands of years, non-embalmed in plain pine boxes.
  • +3
    scotty May 29, 2009 19:30:05
    scotty

    Eat me! I want a nut tree. Eat my nuts people!

    clothe my unembalmed body, minus donated parts, in 100% organic hemp hawaiian shirt and pants and bury me 6 ft under in a wild almond orchard.
  • +2
    Cloud May 29, 2009 19:15:23
    Cloud

    None of the above

    Toss my ashes over a field of some good weed, that way people can get high off me! toss ashes field weed people high
  • +3
    JIUstudent May 28, 2009 19:03:54
    JIUstudent

    None of the above

    This cannibus bush.
    cannibus bush
  • +5
    \V/ JIUstudent May 29, 2009 00:48:02
    \V/
  • JIUstudent \V/ May 29, 2009 13:19:51
    JIUstudent
  • +3
    Little ... JIUstudent September 10, 2009 02:47:41
    Little Angel
    Good answer....that works for me...
  • +2
    Little ... JIUstudent October 21, 2009 23:56:26
    Little Angel
    Good choice! Now that we know it actually helps with
    some diseases you would also be helping the future
    patients.
  • +3
    Little Angel May 28, 2009 18:17:41 (edited)
    Little Angel

    None of the above


    Now this looks like the way to go ... I would like to be...
    The Blue Spruce .. one of the most beautiful trees in Colorado!
  • +1
    \V/ Little ... May 29, 2009 00:48:22
    \V/
  • Little ... \V/ May 29, 2009 01:54:40
    Little Angel
  • Little ... Little ... October 28, 2009 03:17:57
    Little Angel
    And I have discovered that wonderful Colorado
    has another very special tree..& I will get to see
    it when I move. I look out my living room window
    and see....a weeping willow tree. They were in
    my home town in Indiana!
  • Attila May 28, 2009 16:51:39
    Attila

    None of the above

    I will be buried according to my faith. I am not a politition. but I will not be tampered with, no cutting, no burning, no chemicals pumped into my body. Pine box, cidar box, oak what ever I don't care. Just bury my body and leave it be.
  • +1
    Poet003 May 28, 2009 04:55:21
    Poet003

    None of the above

    Thankyou for sending me this .I'll do it.Im not sure what
    type of tree I desire to be under though but I think
    I'll take the hemp cloth.
  • +1
    Poet003 Poet003 May 28, 2009 05:01:13
    Poet003
    I can do this and be roman catholic.Thanks so much.
  • Attila Poet003 May 28, 2009 16:50:53
    Attila
    you can be buried under a tree and in a cloth.
  • Kirra Blackhart... The Soul... May 28, 2009 04:28:55
    Kirra Blackhart... The Soulless Bunny

    None of the above

    A ghost gum...

    ghost gum
  • +1
    For Your Entertainment May 28, 2009 02:29:45
    For Your Entertainment

    None of the above

    i would want a cherry tree if possible
  • +1
    lisa Queen of her world May 28, 2009 02:13:52
    lisa Queen of her world

    None of the above

    I am going to become two diamonds, for each of my daughters....

    diamonds daughters
  • Bear May 28, 2009 01:59:25
    Bear

    None of the above

    Get over yourselves, ya Green Weenies!
    ya green weenies
  • +3
    \V/ Bear May 28, 2009 07:15:55
    \V/
    It appears I could not have imagined such choices! So therefore, "None of the Above" is definitely and by far in this case, the best answer!


    ;-)
  • +2
    ɟʇʇoɔs May 28, 2009 01:56:48
    ɟʇʇoɔs

    Pine tree. You greenies need to wipe your butt with a pine cone!

    pine tree greenies wipe butt pine cone

    This is how I would like to be preserved. It is called plastination, and it basically turns your body into a plastic sculpture.
  • +1
    matsulori ɟʇʇoɔs May 28, 2009 03:00:51 (edited)
    matsulori
    I've already done the paperwork to donate my body to Body Worlds for plastination. I think it's a wonderful way to contribute to future generations, providing models for study and education.Check it out: http://www.bodyworlds.com/en/...
  • ɟʇʇoɔs matsulori May 28, 2009 05:51:56
    ɟʇʇoɔs
    Actually, I wanna be dressed in a tux holding a menu at a fancy restaurant...
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