Divorce agreement between conservatives and liberals. Would you agree to these terms?
Faith ~American Patriot~
2012/03/16 14:23:38
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Dear American liberals, leftists, social progressives, socialists, Marxists, Obama supporters, et al.:
We have stuck together since the late 1950s for the sake of the kids, but the whole of this latest election process has made me realize that I want a divorce. I know we tolerated each other for many years for the sake of future generations, but sadly, this relationship has clearly run its course.
Our two ideological sides of America cannot and will not ever agree on what is right for us all, so let's just end it on friendly terms. We can smile and chalk it up to irreconcilable differences and go our separate ways.
Here is a model separation agreement: Our two groups can equitably divide up the country by landmass, each taking a similar portion. That will be the difficult part, but I am sure our two sides can come to a friendly agreement. After that, it should be relatively easy! Our respective representatives can effortlessly divide other assets since both sides have such distinct and disparate tastes.
We don't like redistributive taxes so you can keep them. You are welcome to the liberal judges and the ACLU. Since you hate guns and war, we'll take our firearms, the cops, the NRA and the military. We'll take the nasty, smelly oil industry and you can go with wind, solar, and biodiesel. You can keep Oprah, Michael Moore, and Rosie O'Donnell. You are, however, responsible for finding a bio-diesel vehicle big enough to move all three of them.
We'll keep capitalism, greedy corporations, pharmaceutical companies, Wal-Mart and Wall Street. You can have your beloved lifelong welfare dwellers, food stamps, homeless, homeboys, hippies, druggies and illegal aliens. We'll keep the hot Alaskan hockey moms, greedy CEO's and rednecks. We'll keep the Bibles and give you NBC and Hollywood.
You can make nice with Iran and Palestine and we'll retain the right to invade and hammer places that threaten us. You can have the peaceniks and war protesters. When our allies or our way of life are under assault, we'll help provide them security.
We'll keep our Judeo-Christian values. You are welcome to Islam, Scientology, Humanism, political correctness and Shirley McClain. You can also have the U.N. but we will no longer be paying the bill.
We'll keep the SUV's, pickup trucks and oversized luxury cars. You can take every Subaru station wagon you can find.
You can give everyone healthcare if you can find any practicing doctors. We'll keep "The Battle Hymn of the Republic" and "The National Anthem." I'm sure you'll be happy to substitute "Imagine", "I'd Like to Teach the World to Sing", "Kum Ba Ya" or "We Are the World".
We'll practice trickledown economics and you can continue to give trickle up poverty your best shot. Since it often so offends you, we'll keep our history, our name, and our flag.
Would you agree to this? If so, please pass it along to other like-minded liberal and conservative patriots and if you do not agree, just hit delete. In the spirit of friendly parting, I'll bet you answer which one of us will need whose help in 15 years.
Sincerely, John J. Wall
Law Student and an American
P. S. Also, please take Ted Turner, Sean Penn, Martin Sheen, Barbara Streisand, & Jane Fonda with you.
P. S. S. And you won't have to press 1 for English when you call our country.
We have stuck together since the late 1950s for the sake of the kids, but the whole of this latest election process has made me realize that I want a divorce. I know we tolerated each other for many years for the sake of future generations, but sadly, this relationship has clearly run its course.
Our two ideological sides of America cannot and will not ever agree on what is right for us all, so let's just end it on friendly terms. We can smile and chalk it up to irreconcilable differences and go our separate ways.
Here is a model separation agreement: Our two groups can equitably divide up the country by landmass, each taking a similar portion. That will be the difficult part, but I am sure our two sides can come to a friendly agreement. After that, it should be relatively easy! Our respective representatives can effortlessly divide other assets since both sides have such distinct and disparate tastes.
We don't like redistributive taxes so you can keep them. You are welcome to the liberal judges and the ACLU. Since you hate guns and war, we'll take our firearms, the cops, the NRA and the military. We'll take the nasty, smelly oil industry and you can go with wind, solar, and biodiesel. You can keep Oprah, Michael Moore, and Rosie O'Donnell. You are, however, responsible for finding a bio-diesel vehicle big enough to move all three of them.
We'll keep capitalism, greedy corporations, pharmaceutical companies, Wal-Mart and Wall Street. You can have your beloved lifelong welfare dwellers, food stamps, homeless, homeboys, hippies, druggies and illegal aliens. We'll keep the hot Alaskan hockey moms, greedy CEO's and rednecks. We'll keep the Bibles and give you NBC and Hollywood.
You can make nice with Iran and Palestine and we'll retain the right to invade and hammer places that threaten us. You can have the peaceniks and war protesters. When our allies or our way of life are under assault, we'll help provide them security.
We'll keep our Judeo-Christian values. You are welcome to Islam, Scientology, Humanism, political correctness and Shirley McClain. You can also have the U.N. but we will no longer be paying the bill.
We'll keep the SUV's, pickup trucks and oversized luxury cars. You can take every Subaru station wagon you can find.
You can give everyone healthcare if you can find any practicing doctors. We'll keep "The Battle Hymn of the Republic" and "The National Anthem." I'm sure you'll be happy to substitute "Imagine", "I'd Like to Teach the World to Sing", "Kum Ba Ya" or "We Are the World".
We'll practice trickledown economics and you can continue to give trickle up poverty your best shot. Since it often so offends you, we'll keep our history, our name, and our flag.
Would you agree to this? If so, please pass it along to other like-minded liberal and conservative patriots and if you do not agree, just hit delete. In the spirit of friendly parting, I'll bet you answer which one of us will need whose help in 15 years.
Sincerely, John J. Wall
Law Student and an American
P. S. Also, please take Ted Turner, Sean Penn, Martin Sheen, Barbara Streisand, & Jane Fonda with you.
P. S. S. And you won't have to press 1 for English when you call our country.
So it DOES divide your people, "patriot".
Like I said, it's all black and white for you, no middle ground.
And please tell me you don't think this is actually doable.
And OMG you actually think this is a workable plan? I don't even know why I'm surprised at your stupidity - maybe because I still had hope for you.
Having "patriot" in your name is just as stupid, because both Libs and Dems love your country and think they know what's best for it and therefore label themselves "patriots". It's a hollow term in the context you are so proudly using it in.
If for you, the definition of "patriot" is wanting anyone who doesn't think exactly like you out of "your" country, you are the kind of patriot the Nazis were. Boy, they sure kicked those pesky Libs out! And the "peaceniks"! And the homos! And the Jews! Such patriots, right? They sure loved a good war too. In the end, it was all they had left. If that's the way you wanna go... well, I feel obliged to stop you.
Patriotism doesn't care who YOU consider to be "your" people. It's AMERICA's people, not YOURS.
LOL, YOU need to explain how it COULD work. Start with how you'd divide the landmass. You know, resettlement. How do you want to do it?
This is gonna be fun.
It's "your" turn, btw.
Also, it's painfully obvious that you don't have a clue how to even divide the land or resettle American citizens, let alone pull all the other retarded BS described in this "divorce agreement".
YOU claim it is doable, so the burden of proof is on YOU. I DENY it.
"Ei incumbit probatio qui dicit non qui negat".
This is getting pretty awkward for you.
Your ability to ignore the simple principle of "Ei incumbit probatio qui dicit non qui negat" is amazing. YOU claim it is possible, so the burden of proof is on YOU. Cut the BS.
So you'd willingly resettle from Colorado to, say, Texas or Maine, and expect every US citizen to move as well, and you think that's prefectly doable?
I also already told you three times that since YOU claim it would work, YOU need to prove that.
Do you think you can "win" this by simply being annoying long enough for me to quit or are you really this ignorant and stupid, or both?