Can America Take 4 More Years Of Obama?

PRESIDENT OBAMA’S TOP TEN ACCOMPLISHMENTS

10. Avoided international embarrassment by making sure the first thing he did whenever he met a monarch was bend over and check his shoelaces.

9. Reduced the efficacy of the nation's pedophiles by making sure fewer of them can afford a creepy van.

8. Gave great prominence to the previously obscure occupation of birth certificate analysis.

7. Solved the problem of there being fewer and fewer people each year with the valuable experience of having lived through the Great Depression.

6. Put together his IKEA desk he got for the Oval Office in a creative, non-standard way that used all but three of the pieces.

5. Helped accelerate our debt towards $100 trillion, at which point all those debt counters should roll over to zero.

4. Made a subtle comment on the futility of trying to control the economy with his absurdist responses of "high-speed rail" and "windmills" to economic concerns.

3. Got America to spend less time in front of the TV by interrupting primetime shows with speeches no one wanted to watch.

2. Came up with a creative solution to rising gas prices by making sure fewer people need to expend gas driving to a job.

1. Demonstrated the pointlessness of wealth by having the government spend trillions of dollars to no noticeable effect.

See, what Obama has achieved for this country is complex and nuanced. If you just want some boring president who will help reduce unemployment and thinks shooting terrorists in the head is an achievement worthy of his intellect, look elsewhere, dullard.