Has it ever occurred to anyone that there are some people who do not want to be friends with large groups? Being an introvert or not wanting to have a huge group of acquaintances is not a bad thing. Neither is being outgoing and overly social. Quit treating the people who don't want to be parts of big groups as freaks. Some of us feel the life getting sucked out of us if more than 10 people are in a room. I have good friends, I get along with everyone, but under the pain of being expelled, I would have told a teacher or school administrator to go to hell before giving up my best friend.
All of the rules change the minute high school ends anyway. All of those "acquaintances" that they want these kids to have? They'll be gone from their lives 2 months after graduation. I'm still in touch with my best friends from high school and most of the time, they're closer than my actual family.
British Schools Ban Best Friends: Are Best Friends Healthy?
SodaHead News
2012/04/27 13:00:00
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A handful of primary (elementary) schools in south London are reportedly discouraging kids from having best friends and attempting to get them to interact in larger groups. Though The Sun, a major British tabloid, is calling the policy a "ban," it's unclear to what extent schools are taking it. Educational psychologist Gaynor Sbuttoni says the schools are enforcing the policy to "save the child the pain of splitting up from their best friend."
Obviously, the policy has been met with severe criticism. Campaign for Real Education spokesman Chris McGovern explained, "Children take things very seriously and if you tell them they can’t have a best friend it can be seriously damaging to them. They need to learn about relationships." A member of the National Association of Head Teachers added, "I don’t think it is widespread but it is clearly happening. It seems bizarre." Do you think having a best friend is a healthy part of growing up?
Obviously, the policy has been met with severe criticism. Campaign for Real Education spokesman Chris McGovern explained, "Children take things very seriously and if you tell them they can’t have a best friend it can be seriously damaging to them. They need to learn about relationships." A member of the National Association of Head Teachers added, "I don’t think it is widespread but it is clearly happening. It seems bizarre." Do you think having a best friend is a healthy part of growing up?
What kind of Socialistic crap is this rule?
Although the question is misleading, taking your cue from The Sun is pretty weak, they're a sensationalist tabloid after all. A 'handful' of primary schools in one city and you make it sound like the whole country's in on it *rueful eyeroll*
I remember when I was in school everyone was telling me to go on and interact with others in my class, and then all they did was hurt and taunt me. Then my now best friend moved here and she was much different than the people I was used to, so she threw me off guard a bit. Well anyway, shortly after she moved here we became best friends after a mutual friend introduced us. Then when our mutual friend moved away I knew that my best friend was gonna be there.
No one in school liked me, no matter how much I was forced to interact with people there. They just never did. You see it everywhere you go, a social outcast, a scapegoat, things like that. Complete and total acceptance isn't possible with a group mentality. Someone always becomes the outcast or scapegoat, that's how group mentality works - sacrificing the one for the sake of the collective. When in reality no one should...
I remember when I was in school everyone was telling me to go on and interact with others in my class, and then all they did was hurt and taunt me. Then my now best friend moved here and she was much different than the people I was used to, so she threw me off guard a bit. Well anyway, shortly after she moved here we became best friends after a mutual friend introduced us. Then when our mutual friend moved away I knew that my best friend was gonna be there.
No one in school liked me, no matter how much I was forced to interact with people there. They just never did. You see it everywhere you go, a social outcast, a scapegoat, things like that. Complete and total acceptance isn't possible with a group mentality. Someone always becomes the outcast or scapegoat, that's how group mentality works - sacrificing the one for the sake of the collective. When in reality no one should be sacrificed for the sake of a social group, yet it always happens. But having a best friend lessens that pain. People are going to form social groups regardless of what you encourage them to do, that's just how it is. But in order to form close, personal, relationships then you have to let kids make friends on their own - let them trust others.
Trust is important, shielding them from the pain of losing a best friend will only hurt them in the long run. Also it's just another way to force kids to do what they probably don't want to do and will only cause more hurt for the people who are not socially inclined to begin with which only means those people will still become targets because they don't fit in with the group. Let kids form their own groups, their own little packs, let them have a say in the matter rather than just forcing it on them. That's almost like marrying your kid off to some other kid when they're barely even aware of what's going on.
People forced me to get along with everyone, in turn I became nothing more than a punching back for them - that was my "role" in the group for the sake of the group. I hated it. You can't help who you do like and who you don't like. So stop trying to force kids to get along with everyone when they wont. Here's a better idea, instead of teaching kids to rely on group think which is nothing but harmful, you should teach them to be a little more independent and not so reliant on others. Yes, I have a best friend, but I'm a hell of a lot better off than the people who were surrounded by tons of people but keeps them at arms length.
You're going to have preferences when it comes to people. Not every person is the same so it's totally natural you would prefer the companionship of one person to someone else. That's why best friends are great and perfectly natural.
Damaging my ass, it's a benefit. Before I had a best friend i was scared, alone, nothing more than a meat sack to people, but I was able to learn about personal and trusting relationships by having a best friend who accepted me as I was and never asked me to change. The group wanted me to change so we'd all be clones of each other, but she never wanted me to change. Best friends love you as you are, the group just wants you to fit in and the moment you don't fit in then you're about as worthy to be around them as a doormat is.
In short, God damn this who group and collective think is stupid.
I would protest... Even as a kid, I would not have let this happen...
It's perfectly normal to have a best friend.
They have no right in telling kids that they can't label their most trusted friend their "best friend."
-.-
I was always shy and quiet in school and I preferred the company of few. Sometimes I was content to be alone. Why does society so often force social interaction upon people who are already content with their lives? In elementary school I had very few friends, but those that I did connect with were worth knowing. It's easier for some of us to forge strong relationships with relatively few people.
I don't think that many schools will pick up on it (at least I hope not). Primary schools encourage social interaction with other pupils but this is too extreme! Plus I doubt it's actually a 'ban', unless I'm told otherwise I think the Sun's exaggerating. Still, you shouldn't discourage it, that's just ridiculous.