Has it ever occurred to anyone that there are some people who do not want to be friends with large groups? Being an introvert or not wanting to have a huge group of acquaintances is not a bad thing. Neither is being outgoing and overly social. Quit treating the people who don't want to be parts of big groups as freaks. Some of us feel the life getting sucked out of us if more than 10 people are in a room. I have good friends, I get along with everyone, but under the pain of being expelled, I would have told a teacher or school administrator to go to hell before giving up my best friend.
All of the rules change the minute high school ends anyway. All of those "acquaintances" that they want these kids to have? They'll be gone from their lives 2 months after graduation. I'm still in touch with my best friends from high school and most of the time, they're closer than my actual family.
British Schools Ban Best Friends: Are Best Friends Healthy?
SodaHead News
2012/04/27 13:00:00
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A handful of primary (elementary) schools in south London are reportedly discouraging kids from having best friends and attempting to get them to interact in larger groups. Though The Sun, a major British tabloid, is calling the policy a "ban," it's unclear to what extent schools are taking it. Educational psychologist Gaynor Sbuttoni says the schools are enforcing the policy to "save the child the pain of splitting up from their best friend."
Obviously, the policy has been met with severe criticism. Campaign for Real Education spokesman Chris McGovern explained, "Children take things very seriously and if you tell them they can’t have a best friend it can be seriously damaging to them. They need to learn about relationships." A member of the National Association of Head Teachers added, "I don’t think it is widespread but it is clearly happening. It seems bizarre." Do you think having a best friend is a healthy part of growing up?
Obviously, the policy has been met with severe criticism. Campaign for Real Education spokesman Chris McGovern explained, "Children take things very seriously and if you tell them they can’t have a best friend it can be seriously damaging to them. They need to learn about relationships." A member of the National Association of Head Teachers added, "I don’t think it is widespread but it is clearly happening. It seems bizarre." Do you think having a best friend is a healthy part of growing up?
All of the rules change the minute high school ends anyway. All of those "acquaintances" that they want these kids to have? They'll be gone from their lives 2 months after graduation. I'm still in touch with my best friends from high school and most of the time, they're closer than my actual family.
And it's always our best friend who helps.
Born an introvert; die an introvert.
If in case this is the big issue then the government should go after the parents. I am tired of the schools acting as parents and baby sitters. They are educators. Let them do that.
My wife is a teacher in economically stress system. I am all aware of the "parenting". She is mother to 20+ kids. She is always dealing with issues of babies...boyfriends...single families with the parents being in jail...grandmothers that can't handle the kids and do not know what to do with them.
We (my conservative brethen) love to bash teachers. I tell my wife almost once a week I could never do her job. They couldn't pay me enough.
School acts as a counterpoint to the narratives of the culture.
Rearing of the young (historically) has never been the sole responsibility of the parent(s). In cultures and communities that have remained unchanged (relatively speaking) for thousands of years have drastically different cultural norms than do our modern society. Humans use public education as a means to raise the young (teach and mentor) by those best suited to the task. The best and brightest at conveying the social structure, etc. But, to say that the task of raising the young is not a community affair, really neglects the whole idea of community. In the 21st century, as it has...
School acts as a counterpoint to the narratives of the culture.
Rearing of the young (historically) has never been the sole responsibility of the parent(s). In cultures and communities that have remained unchanged (relatively speaking) for thousands of years have drastically different cultural norms than do our modern society. Humans use public education as a means to raise the young (teach and mentor) by those best suited to the task. The best and brightest at conveying the social structure, etc. But, to say that the task of raising the young is not a community affair, really neglects the whole idea of community. In the 21st century, as it has been slowly occurring for many yes now, has been a product of the destruction of the community, and the production of an artificial unit that is more easy to move and transport within the economic society.
It would be very difficult for society to operate if we couldn't move the socioeconomic components of "family" around like chess pieces. What would happen if a community was locked? You'd be far more limited on your means. This is the historical state of culture. Modern times have demanded and promoted the breaking up of the social unit, but our system of learning has remained unchanged. We have removed the social rearing components of the community, while not implementing some replacement, leaving parents as the only means of raising the young. What is left is either a large socialized social rearing system, or many disenfranchised people. Unless, of course, we want to preprogram children through some kind of implant and incubation period--something like what is spoken of from the Borg on Star Trek--or give up our modern societies and return to a rural community life?
Most people, it would seem, do not want to return to that life--we could not, for our population demands the institutions remain what they are.
Therefore, our society must endeavor in some fashion to replace the community rearing of the young. Parents, in a socially successful environment, cannot be left to indoctrinate their children--this is not something rural societies allowed. Reading the ancient Greeks or Romans, we see this commonplace. It was forbidden for those in the society to let parents do everything--but, parenting is also vitally important.
It's a very complex historical process. One that leaves many unsatisfactory answers and even more unanswered questions.
For as liberal as our schools are, I would rather be the one teaching my kids the social aspect. Which I do. I also frequently disagree with teaching methods and show my child the easier way to do it. I teach them how to add/subtract/multiply/divide in their head. I teach them that their may be discrepancies from what "facts" they are learning.
We had a very in depth discussion when the idiots proclaimed Pluto was no longer planet, just one example.
The schools should not be there to teach them the social aspect. That is why it takes a village to raise a child. I frequently am telling kids in my neighborhood what is right and wrong.
Yes many of us are now relying on the schools to do everything. Even our jobs as parents which is wrong.
I read a lot on this and am planning on going into education. As for your wife, teaching, when you actually are one, is an incredibly honorable profession. I give you mega props. :)
You may want to re-think going into education unless it will be at the professor level. Unless you happen to get into a neighborhood that supports education, it will be rough. If you like challenges though it may be good for you.
20 years ago as we were going through college, she was taking her special ed course. I would meet her around 8pm at the altheltic facility. In one of her classes she would meet with autistic children for different types of exercise. To see how shoudl would bond with these children were amazing. To see the faces of the parents when they came to pick up their kids was amazing. It was one of the most memorable experiences in my life.
When the parents are there to reinforce, education is a dream. When the parent do not care, or even worse cannot read, it is all downhill and one of the worst jobs on the planet. She has had to call children services so many times she has them on speed dial. The stories she has seen on many of these kids wouold make a normal person cry for hours.
Anyway.. we are here for opinion.. even if they differ from ours.
The group think , hive mentality is a serious disease. That is where individuals sacrifice themselves and their own moral judgment to the collective.
Times change, people change, but real friends will be there for you. What this school is doing is forcing a culture of isolated fakeness on the kids.
People need to have those intimate friends to tell personal thoughts, fears , dreams and wishes with . Mutual sharing of those thoughts make the bond grow tighter .
These things are not group activities .
I need to print this out and hang it on my wall somewhere and quote it "ray from SodaHead". So painfully true. Another benefit of having that one best friend, I believe, is that it gives you someone you can be true with. You aren't putting up a farce when you're with them; you allow yourself to be just yourself. Among groups you'll often find yourself saying/doing something only so you can 'belong' to that group.
Sure best friends will influence each other (my own admitted to me that I coaxed her out of her shell and she's helped me reconsider several of my prejudices) but for the most part, they're your best friend and love you for who you are.
GEEZ this whole thing has got me riled up. e_e
When it goes both ways , you have found a best friend .