BREAKING NEWS: ROMNEY TO REPLACE RYAN WITH MIME

Mitt Romney's decision to select Paul Ryan as his VP was originally called, "bold," by many GOP pundits. This first week, however, has shown that Ryan's selection is more related to "mold." Romney is looking for a way to remove what he now refers to as the, "stink," on the Republican Presidential ticket, but must find a sensitive way to do so without offending Ryan's cult followers.

Mitt Romney will announce, Saturday night at midnight, that Ryan cannot remain on the ticket due to health reasons, and that he is vetting other candidates who know what they are saying when they open their mouths. A close aid to Romney has suggested to Romney that the best VP candidate would be someone who is physically unable to speak. This would serve two purposes, no more embarrassing "Ryans," and the opportunity to attract the mute vote. Based on Romney's campaign decisions, so far, it's likely that Romney will take this suggestion as severely as his "Conservatism."

Since mimes are experts at keeping quiet, the VP search will include this group.

I am asking all my good SH friends to submit a photo of the mime that you think could fill Ryan's shoes.