From the GREAT STATE OF MAINE…
Bzzzt!!! Bzzzt!!! Ah-ooogah!!!
The National Waffler Service has issued a Mitt Romney Base Abandonment WATCH effective immediately in the following area: Immigration.[Yesterday] morning on CBS, Mitt Romney was asked five times whether he would continue Obama’s new policy on immigration, ending deportations for DREAM-eligible youth. Romney flatly refused to take a position.A Mitt Romney Base Abandonment Watch means that conditions are favorable for Mitt Romney to back away from his "severely conservative" GOP base-friendly positions---including the mandatory and immediate "self-deportation" of all undocumented immigrants---by increasingly desperate leaps and bounds.
Should an actual base abandonment occur, the appropriate warning will be issued. Please note that these conditions may be accompanied by additional damaging flip flops, flop flips, gaffes, blunders, "hot mic moments," bewilderment at the sight of everyday objects (including doughnuts and rain ponchos), and attempts at humor followed by condescending "HehHehHehs" that come uncomfortably close to sounding like George W. Bush.
Republicans who feel a sense of despair, disappointment, heartburn and/or outrage that Mitt Romney, who never met a position he didn’t change, is the GOP nominee, should understand that these feelings are normal and will never, ever go away.
Republicans are urged to stay tuned to the National Waffler Service for updates, instructions, and links to the nearest online "Chris Christie in 2016" support shelter.
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