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Am I Crazy?

Kayla's Prince ☭ 2012/04/08 23:13:10
Yes!
No..
What the f*ck did I just read?
You!
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I'm starting to think I have a psychological problem of some sort & this is a problem and I want help for it because it's bringing my life down and I'm always depressed or have suicidal thoughts, anyways basically I have what I wanna call an "attachment" problem where I basically become attached or in love with a woman quicker then most guys, all it takes is for the girl to shows some kind of love, kindness, or care towards me and I'm hooked. This process takes about a week tops, and when I fall in love with her she is my world and I treat her like a Queen and do anything that makes her happy and my world is complete, then a month kicks in and the girl usually dumps me for someone, usually a douchebag but then I have this homicidal thoughts a urges, I can't bare the thought of some inconsiderate arrogant fuck, kissing my Queen and being all over her and worse then that... Having sex with her... My world crashes and I'm not nice anymore, no love or consideration for human life, only hate and revenge... I haven't had to good of a life, and no one has ever showed me any real love like her and that fuck face took the only good thing out of my life.. We were going to lose our virginity together but her took that from her... Now he ruined her personality, and she won't even talk to me anymore.. So I am thinking... I wanna Kill him, torture him first then kill him and burn his body... She has been stolen from me and is no longer pure, so Sadly I must kill her too then cremate her and keep her close to me always, and find a place somewhere and lay her ashes on the ground then kill myself and for all eternity be with her... I can't stop the thoughts, I can't get her out of my head I can't move on... I've tried therapy and everything, I simply can't go on in less this happens... I don't know what to do.... I love her... I told her my plans and she is aware of the future, so I gave her a chance, but what I really want is for her to kill me, I will fake a fall and drop my gun letting her pick it up so she can shoot me.. Shouldn't be hard since she is going to be a cop soon, but it sure would be an honor to die by her hands...
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  • Kayla's... Alexis 2012/04/10 01:14:03
  • Alexis Kayla's... 2012/04/10 01:18:44
    Alexis
    +1
    Block her? You get her out of your life you will slowly forget. If you say you fall too easily then it won't be long until someone new comes all along. People change, and it sucks. But don't go running around saying your going to take someone's life because your pissed. It WILL be okay.
  • Kayla's... Alexis 2012/04/10 01:23:04
    Kayla's Prince ☭
    :/ idk..
  • Alexis Kayla's... 2012/04/10 01:28:02
    Alexis
    Well, feel better. And don't kill anyone lol.
  • Inquisi... Kayla's... 2012/04/10 02:10:56
    Inquisitve Kat
    You have to be responsible and change your number and cut them from your life. It's going to be hard, but some parts of life ARE hard. You have to keep on yourself and keep trying therapy. It's not about what you want, it's about what you need... and no one needs another person.
  • TuringsChild 2012/04/10 00:53:57
    No..
    TuringsChild
    You're desperate for love, and girls see that. Relax and accept that you are a worthwhile person without the 'assistance' of anyone else.
    You'll be fine.
  • bob h. 2012/04/10 00:52:15
    No..
    bob h.
    1step; move far away. 2step; get some therapy.
  • blissful 2012/04/10 00:45:54
    What the f*ck did I just read?
    blissful
    Baby life goes-on! You go around allowing others to control-it! I know that it hurts, but it is no reason to go around saying that you want to commit homicide & suicide! Stop allowing things that you can't control to take Control of you!! Just say No! I am stronger than my Circumtance!!!.. :)
  • Kayla's... blissful 2012/04/10 01:11:00
    Kayla's Prince ☭
    +1
    I've tried just saying know but I can't in the long run just say no.... It's hard...
  • blissful Kayla's... 2012/04/12 01:43:57
    blissful
    It is possible! You do have it in you! Try-n-pre-occupy yourself with things that make you feel good. What is your favorite hobby? Spend more time doing the things that make you feel fulfillied. Alright!..
  • ETpro 2012/04/10 00:37:25
    Yes!
    ETpro
    +1
    If you are having thoughts of murder/suicide, then definitely find competent mental health help. Don't let it spoil your continued enjoyment of life, and don't risk that someday these urges become so powerful that you act on them. Wishing you well in getting it managed.
  • Kayla's... ETpro 2012/04/10 00:44:03
    Kayla's Prince ☭
    I've already tried but they think I'm not telling the truth because "I wanted help"...
  • Alvin 2012/04/10 00:34:29
    What the f*ck did I just read?
    Alvin
    I am hoping for your sake that this is an exercise in creative writing and not a true call for help. If this is how you truly feel, you are in need of help and I mean now. You need to go to an ER and be seen and treated.
  • RobHom 2012/04/10 00:23:55
    What the f*ck did I just read?
    RobHom
    +3
    Young son, if even 10% of that was serious, I recommend that you immediately go to the nearest Emergency Room, declare yourself a Psyche Emergency and demand to "Baker Acted" and work it out with a shrink.....

    On the other hand...if its all fiction....you may have a future writing sick novels.....
  • Kayla's... RobHom 2012/04/10 00:43:29
    Kayla's Prince ☭
    +1
    I am a writer actually, and no this is serious...
  • RobHom Kayla's... 2012/04/10 01:05:59
    RobHom
    +1
    Then I do very seriously suggest that you Baker Act yourself for 30 days....to get some help, and also to prevent/protect yourself from doing anything that might result in far worse circumstances....

    In another post you say that you spoke with mental health people and they turned you away because you asked for help.... They were fools. Go to an Emergency Room, tell them you are feeling homocidal and suicidal... take a print out of what you wrote at the beginning of this thread...tell them you are serious. They will listen.

    Other than that my young friend, I suggest that you back up a step, take a deep breath, and let it out, repeat the process four times. Sit quietly in a comfortable chair, and think about things in your life THAT ARE GOOD and PLEASING to you. Visualize that your life is better than you think. Visualize that you will soon meet a young lady that will make you forget every other girl on the planet.... Concentrate on the good and happy things.

    You are not the only person with the problems that you possess... there are many of us that are war veterans like myself who suffer from PTSD, depression, suicidal tendencies, and are even homocidal now and then...but we deal with it through counseling and with the medication we are prescribed....by the way, none of it makes you high or a dull person...

    But for your own sake...if what you have said is as serious as you say...get help!
  • Inquisi... RobHom 2012/04/10 02:12:41
    Inquisitve Kat
    +1
    This is such solid advice!! Everything you said should be considered and followed.
  • POWERSHAKER 2012/04/10 00:22:04
    Yes!
    POWERSHAKER
    +2
    You definitely have some emotional problems. Everything you said in that message sounds like you need some major counseling. You have an obsession problem. You should never allow a relationship with someone to consume your whole world. You're way too intense. That isn't love. That's obsession. You need some major help.
  • Kayla's... POWERSH... 2012/04/10 00:40:42
    Kayla's Prince ☭
    Depends on your point of view... Some cultures "Obsession" just means your really in love with a girl... Look at Religion.. People spend their whole lives loving a worshiping their God thinking when they die they will go to heaven and be with their god forever.... I am a Pagan, and I fell in love with Goddess Frejia, who is the Most Beautiful being in the Universe...
  • POWERSH... Kayla's... 2012/04/10 02:05:15
    POWERSHAKER
    Yep. You've lost it for sure. Not only are you obsessed, but you're worshiping a mythological goddess who isn't even real. Congratulations!
  • Inquisi... Kayla's... 2012/04/10 02:15:54
    Inquisitve Kat
    Just because it happens doesn't make it okay. In those cultures, life is often brutish. You need help, life holds more for you.
  • Inquisi... Kayla's... 2012/04/10 02:26:06
    Inquisitve Kat
    You say you're Pagan. So am I... remember... balance is importance.
    Obsession is not balanced.
  • Kayla's... Inquisi... 2012/04/11 07:14:19
    Kayla's Prince ☭
    You are most likely a neo pagan... I Worship Goddess Frejia...
  • Inquisi... Kayla's... 2012/04/12 04:13:08 (edited)
    Inquisitve Kat
    ...A neo Pagan as opposed to?...
    Norse worship is still 'neo'-Pagan...
    'Pagan' is generally used to describe those who are not Christian... we can't retroactively claim terms.
  • Sean 2012/04/10 00:17:31 (edited)
    No..
    Sean
    +1
    Without knowing your life, I can only speculate, so I'm going to go out on a limb, and speculate.



    You seem like someone for whom sex does not come easy, correct me if I'm wrong. I'm speculating that because men who experience what you claim to be experiencing getting attached to a girl that easy, that's usually because sex doesn't come easy to them, men who have very successful sex lives, who have a different girl for every day of the week, don't typically experience what you claim to be experiencing.



    The problem is due to the fact that women in state systems like America are taught to use their bodies are exploitative property, and men are taught by our loving parents, academic institutions, and the media ways of going about getting sex that do not work because they do not get women aroused, just as men are biologically wired to seek the woman with the best physical traits, that's why men are quick to fall for attractive women, women are biologically wired to be aroused by a man with certain personality traits, strong masculine personality traits, dominant traits, meek men don't get sex, that's just a fact of nature.



    I suggest studying men's self help authors like David Deangelo, Tyler Durbin, F.J. Shark, Nick Rogue, those are guys who have studied sexual attraction, and have wr...









    Without knowing your life, I can only speculate, so I'm going to go out on a limb, and speculate.



    You seem like someone for whom sex does not come easy, correct me if I'm wrong. I'm speculating that because men who experience what you claim to be experiencing getting attached to a girl that easy, that's usually because sex doesn't come easy to them, men who have very successful sex lives, who have a different girl for every day of the week, don't typically experience what you claim to be experiencing.



    The problem is due to the fact that women in state systems like America are taught to use their bodies are exploitative property, and men are taught by our loving parents, academic institutions, and the media ways of going about getting sex that do not work because they do not get women aroused, just as men are biologically wired to seek the woman with the best physical traits, that's why men are quick to fall for attractive women, women are biologically wired to be aroused by a man with certain personality traits, strong masculine personality traits, dominant traits, meek men don't get sex, that's just a fact of nature.



    I suggest studying men's self help authors like David Deangelo, Tyler Durbin, F.J. Shark, Nick Rogue, those are guys who have studied sexual attraction, and have written extensively about it.



    One of Deangelo's books is entitled The 8 Personality Types that Naturally Attract Women.



    All of those names I mentioned except for F.J. Shark have free newsletters you can subscribe to if you can't afford to buy their materials, read those newsletters, you'll benefit from it.

    Ultimately, you need to deprogram yourself, the information we've been taught on sexual pursuit does not work, and we need to stop using that false information, and women need to stop using their bodies as exploitative property, that's another topic though.
    (more)
  • Kayla's... Sean 2012/04/10 00:29:04
    Kayla's Prince ☭
    +1
    I don't know I'm not a meek person.. I'm 6'3 and strong, i play sports and race and i do boxing, and plenty of girls wanna be with me but I don't want to be with them, and sex isn't exactly the problem, I'm just in love with a girl who screwed me over... well to be truthful I'm in love with a few women, simply because I never got over them... And I had sex once and decided not to have it because it was awful... I don't know if the girl I had sex with sucked or not but It wasn't as great as people said it would be... So I just figured I don't really care about sex...
  • Prion I... Sean 2013/02/13 05:09:08
    Prion Indigo
    And guess who teaches young women to use their bodies to exploit? MEN.
  • Brendan Mcdonald 2012/04/09 07:53:58
    What the f*ck did I just read?
    Brendan Mcdonald
    +2
    You honestly sound a lot like a well ex friend of mine he was just like you. I will be dead honest with you it is not her new boyfriends fault it is not her fault, guys like you just have trouble letting go. But he was a skitzo to diagnosed around 18, our friendship ended because he kept going back to this girl who was admit she did not want a relationship with him like that and I stayed friends with her and as did he when she got a new boyfriend it ended up being her fault his fault my fault and hes the innocent one being toyed with. In reality you always know a girls intentions you may love the person you are with at the time but it dosen't mean it is going to be a lifetime love. Lifetime loves don't happen in a month 6 months a year, it takes years for both people to know for certian that this is love that will last a life time. Your 17 years old this is how dating works for years and years you can go throught hundreds of girls until you find the one. My friend ruined all his friendships his relationships for girls who were no good for him who never had a serious chance with. I ask you not to do the same and get some help for these feeling perhaps a therapist can give you tools needed to cope with a healthy love life until you find the one :) because you are a great looking guy you seem to have a big heart just looking for love. But you just need tools to cope better and really understand the reality of the dating scene when your young.
  • Kayla's... Brendan... 2012/04/10 00:04:36
    Kayla's Prince ☭
    Well thanks for and actual answer.. means allot... I just don't know if I can let go... If only i could erase her out of my head.. :/
  • Brendan... Kayla's... 2012/04/10 01:56:09
  • JanHopkins 2012/04/09 05:25:37
    Yes!
    JanHopkins
    +4
    Get some therapy.
  • Disko Pickle 2012/04/09 01:05:17
    No..
    Disko Pickle
    +2
    That seems completely normal.
  • Kayla's... Disko P... 2012/04/09 01:12:47
    Kayla's Prince ☭
    +1
    What would you do if some asstard stole the love of your life?
  • Disko P... Kayla's... 2012/04/09 01:14:36
    Disko Pickle
    I would be upset for a few days, but then I would be happy because I know that the person I care most about in the world is now happier than I could make her. It's a win-win situation for everyone.
  • Kayla's... Disko P... 2012/04/09 01:25:14
  • Disko P... Kayla's... 2012/04/10 01:05:12
    Disko Pickle
    You said that you loved that person. Why would you be angry about the person you love being happy? If that is how you feel, then you never really loved her.
  • S8 Kayla's... 2012/04/10 00:36:04
    S8
    Well, you allowed it ... if you were "good enough" she would not be "gone" ...or she was not the love of your life :) Don't hurt anybody btw. !
    Take care :)
  • my2cents Disko P... 2012/04/09 01:25:12
    my2cents
    +1
    lol! :D
  • gregory.ditzler 2012/04/09 00:59:57
    What the f*ck did I just read?
    gregory.ditzler
    +2
    You sound a bit disturbed have you tried checking yourself into an asylum?
  • Kayla's... gregory... 2012/04/09 01:11:51
    Kayla's Prince ☭
    +2
    No?? I have better stuff to do.. While I may have problems I got out of my way to help people which is what I like doing.. I also go to the hospital with a friend to try and make kids with cancer feel better.. I've been going for weeks and the kids enjoy me coming. I also have hiking, racing and other activities I do... Being locked up would take from that...

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