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A modest proposal for Obama's last-ditch spending spree, using classic socialist methods to deliver a result that conservatives will support.

V~POTL~PWCM~JLA 2012/07/11 18:55:17
Wow!  This solves EVERYTHING!
Finally!  A good use of other people's money!
There must be a catch!
Undecided
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As we all know, President Obama is desperate to get better employment numbers. At the same time, he opposes "Voter ID" laws. So far, his attempts to improve the economy have been mostly focused on "clean energy" and mostly unsuccessful. Then we have the thoroughly unpopular Obamacare, with a huge burden for the states that choose to expand Medicaid.

I propose to solve EVERYTHING.

The Big Train

Let's start with transportation. Recently, California decided to spend money it doesn't have -- to be combined with Federal money -- to build a high-speed rail system from LA to San Francisco. One of the biggest problems with high-speed rail is amortizing the cost by passenger mile. It's usually cheaper to just give each passenger a free air ticket in exchange for not riding the train. Nobody wants to ride train that costs more than an airline ticket for the purpose of going slower. My plan fixes that. There will be PLENTY of passengers.

Not many people will ride a train between the nearly bankrupt cities of LA and SF. As fewer people have jobs, the potential customer base is shrinking as you read this.

The high-speed rail line needs to be MUCH bigger:
map

How much would this cost? One trillion dollars? Two trillion? Who cares! My plan is so good, the cost is irrelevant.



Why would we need such a rail line and who would ride it? Hold that thought for now.

Voter ID

Liberals don't like "Voter ID" laws. Under my plan, all elections would be held on a special welfare festival day when benefits are paid in cash instead of by EBT. Wherever the voters receive their welfare is where they can vote. Under my plan, poor people are able to shop for the best deal on Welfare. To an extent, they do this already. Whatever ID is required to collect Welfare shall be deemed sufficient for voting at the instant they receive their benefits. If that doesn't boost the voter participation rate, nothing will.

Obamacare

Let's move on to Obamacare. Some states (like Texas) will opt out of as much of Obamacare as possible. That's a great deal for taxpayers, but not so great for poor people. Other states will go hog-wild with semi-socialized medicine. Great deal for poor people, not so great for taxpayers. If you want to receive expanded Medicaid or you want one of those nifty state-subsidized exchanges, you should set up your welfare to be in a high-benefit state like California. Certainly not Texas.

Back to the big train

Remember how there was concern about getting enough passengers to justify a cross-country high-speed train? Not anymore! People can live where they want to live! Thanks to a watered-down ID requirement for both voting, welfare, and medicaid, folks can collect benefits in states like California while living in states like Texas.

Under my plan, you can claim to be a resident of ANY state, and it determines your eligibility for welfare, medicaid, and state-subidized insurance. When you want benefits, you have to show up in that state. How do you get there? The train! It needs to be really fast, because it's a long trip from San Antonio to LA. We should spare no expense in making the best train money can buy.

Look at the map. States like California and New York will be magnets for entitlement recipients. Most exciting for the liberals is that the entire high-speed rail project is built for poor people! The train will transport them to either California or New York whenever they need to receive welfare or receive medicaid benefits.

No matter how much the train costs to build or operate, it would be of great value to everyone in the states that opt out of Obamacare. All I propose is to give poor people the same mobility rights as the rest of the population, while freeing them of burdensome ID requirements. Anyone who doesn't like their state's entitlement programs will have plenty of choices.

What's not to like?
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  • ★Calliope★ 2012/07/12 02:31:22
    Wow! This solves EVERYTHING!
    ★Calliope★
    +2
    AND makes as much sense, if not more, than the stimulus did.
  • V~POTL~... ★Calliope★ 2012/07/12 02:52:18
    V~POTL~PWCM~JLA
    +1
    And if you consider the redistribution of poor people to the states with the most lucrative entitlements, there is something in the plan for everyone. If someday the nation abandons socialized medicine and returns to sensible economics, we still have a nifty train!

    Never underestimate the power of pork!
  • ★Calliope★ V~POTL~... 2012/07/12 02:55:15
    ★Calliope★
    +1
    I live in NY - Unfortunately, I see this type of mentality every day. They damn near throw money away here.
  • V~POTL~PWCM~JLA 2012/07/11 21:23:24
    Wow! This solves EVERYTHING!
    V~POTL~PWCM~JLA
    +3
    This insanity is so logical!
  • BritPunk 2012/07/11 21:06:21
    Undecided
    BritPunk
    +1
    So now you are associating Obama with cannibalism and eating babies?
    Keep it classy !!
  • V~POTL~... BritPunk 2012/07/11 21:22:10
    V~POTL~PWCM~JLA
    +2
    All I did was propose to carry his existing policies to their logical conclusion!
  • BritPunk V~POTL~... 2012/07/12 07:23:28
    BritPunk
    You called it "a modest proposal". You must know the origin of that phrase.
  • V~POTL~... BritPunk 2012/07/12 15:08:18
    V~POTL~PWCM~JLA
    I do. But most people don't. I borrowed the basic model of the original story, applying a totally different premise, analysis, and conclusion. Start off with a problem, then analyze the facts in search of a solution. Let the analysis become progressively far-fetched, ending with a shocking conclusion when people figure out what the real proposal is.

    No need for cannibalism (let's not start the government thinking about that just yet). Instead, I propose rapid transit for poor people so they can easily visit the states offering the most generous entitlement programs, while freeing them of burdensome ID checking when they vote or receive benefits.

    We have a nasty habit in this country of building mass transit where it makes political sense but not economic sense. I offered a solution. In this case, the entire story consists of things the government has already proposed to do -- or could easily do as a byproduct of liberal/socialist doctrine.
  • BritPunk V~POTL~... 2012/07/12 16:32:15
    BritPunk
    You also have a nasty habit in your country of using political "dog whistles" :-)
  • SoCalEx-Dem 2012/07/11 21:05:53
    Wow! This solves EVERYTHING!
    SoCalEx-Dem
    +1
    :-) !!
  • Icono1 2012/07/11 21:05:50
    Wow! This solves EVERYTHING!
    Icono1
    +1
    Love it.
  • SimpleAmerican BN-0 2012/07/11 19:19:12
    Wow! This solves EVERYTHING!
    SimpleAmerican BN-0
    +3
    Okay, you are the VP candidate... or maybe Big Train Czar! Loved it!
  • V~POTL~... SimpleA... 2012/07/11 19:29:14
    V~POTL~PWCM~JLA
    +5
    I have already done more than Biden did in 4 years! Pulled Obie's butt out of the fire!
  • FeedFwd... SimpleA... 2012/07/11 20:25:11
    FeedFwd ~POTL
    +3
    Yes! Big Train Czar!
  • V~POTL~... FeedFwd... 2012/07/11 20:38:20
    V~POTL~PWCM~JLA
    +4
    I'm holding out of a much better title: "Czar V, Intergalactic Ninja Sultan of HIgh-Speed Rail". Ordinary Czars spend billions, extraordinary Czars spend trillions. I'm aiming for extraordinary.

    ordinary czars spend billions extraordinary czars spend trillions aiming extraordinary

    If Obama wins a second term, I think the uniform will really catch on. I hear it's quite popular in the workers' paradise of North Korea.
  • Icono1 V~POTL~... 2012/07/11 21:02:06
  • V~POTL~... Icono1 2012/07/11 22:00:37
    V~POTL~PWCM~JLA
    +3
    Shhhhh! The new flag is not to be displayed until after the election!
  • Icono1 V~POTL~... 2012/07/11 23:05:18
    Icono1
    +1
    LOL!

    OK.
  • BUCCANEER~POTL~PWCM~JLA 2012/07/11 19:06:37 (edited)
    Undecided
    BUCCANEER~POTL~PWCM~JLA
    +4
    sedan chair
    The serfs carry them as is usual under socialism,and Moochelle can eat cake as in travel catering
  • V~POTL~... BUCCANE... 2012/07/11 19:17:10
    V~POTL~PWCM~JLA
    +3
    If it will help get the funding approved, I propose that Obama can have free train tickets for the entire family. Obie and Michelle can have a mobile vacation, riding from coast to coast.
  • john Kills 2012/07/11 19:03:57
    Wow! This solves EVERYTHING!
    john Kills
    +4
    Think of all the tsa jobs that could be created at these train stations.
  • V~POTL~... john Kills 2012/07/11 19:06:08
    V~POTL~PWCM~JLA
    +2
    To say nothing of the construction jobs building the rails!
  • john Kills V~POTL~... 2012/07/11 19:43:38
    john Kills
    +3
    They would be outsourced to companies outside the country that has experience building them. There was a whole crew of foreigner that was working on a bridge when the stimulus first came out. Not one soul on the project could speeak a word of english. Must have been around 60 of them
  • V~POTL~... john Kills 2012/07/11 19:48:19
    V~POTL~PWCM~JLA
    +2
    None of the illegals will need to work, since they will all be eligible for welfare in the state of their choice. I propose we give them big-screen TVs (and cable!) if they sign up for welfare instead of working.
  • FeedFwd... V~POTL~... 2012/07/11 20:27:47
    FeedFwd ~POTL
    +2
    Put the TVs on the trains! Satellite!
  • Icono1 FeedFwd... 2012/07/11 21:07:31
    Icono1
    +2
    Definitely.
  • V~POTL~... FeedFwd... 2012/07/11 22:17:38
    V~POTL~PWCM~JLA
    +3
    And free Wi-fi
  • wolf sloan V~POTL~... 2012/07/11 20:49:50
    wolf sloan
    +3
    And maintenance crews for the station.
  • HarleyCharley 2012/07/11 18:56:59
    There must be a catch!
    HarleyCharley
    +1
    it will be a failure...
  • V~POTL~... HarleyC... 2012/07/11 19:05:29
    V~POTL~PWCM~JLA
    +4
    Personally, I opposed each section of the plan individually -- until I put all the pieces together and figured out the end game. The only way to lose is if your state voluntarily opts-in to full Obamacare. And that's a big loss anyway.

    Alternatively, which component(s) of the plan would you cut? Like Obamacare, I think the whole thing should be bundled as an "all-or-nothing" option. But that's just me.

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2014/09/01 13:45:02

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