Here is some more humor for you. Have a great Sunday.
55 Funny Liberal/Democrat Jokes To Start Your Day
1. Q: What do you get when you offer a Liberal a penny for his thoughts?
A: Change.
2. Q: How do you confuse a Liberal?
A: You don’t. They’re born that way.
3. Q: Why is it good to have a Democrat passenger?
A: You can park in the handicap zone.
4. Q: What’s the difference between Elvis and a smart Liberal?
A: Elvis has been sighted.
5. A Democrat died and a friend went around collecting for a fund for his funeral. A woman was asked to donate ten dollars.
“Ten dollars?” she said. “It only takes ten dollars to bury a Democrat? Here’s a hundred – go bury 10 of them!”
6. Q: How do you keep a Democrat busy?
A: Write ‘Please turn over’ on both sides of a piece of paper.
7. Q: How do you keep a Liberal busy all day?
A: Put him in a round room and tell him to wait in the corner.
8. Q: What do you call a Democrat with an IQ of 130?
A: A foursome
9. Q: How do you get a one-armed Liberal out of a tree?
A: Wave to him.
10. Q: What do you call a basement full of Liberals?
A: A whine cellar.
11. Q: What is the definition of gross ignorance?
A: 144 Democrats.
12. Q: What is foreplay for a Democrat?
A: Thirty minutes of begging.
13. Q: What is the Democrat doing when he holds his hands ti...
55 Funny Liberal/Democrat Jokes To Start Your Day
1. Q: What do you get when you offer a Liberal a penny for his thoughts?
A: Change.
2. Q: How do you confuse a Liberal?
A: You don’t. They’re born that way.
3. Q: Why is it good to have a Democrat passenger?
A: You can park in the handicap zone.
4. Q: What’s the difference between Elvis and a smart Liberal?
A: Elvis has been sighted.
5. A Democrat died and a friend went around collecting for a fund for his funeral. A woman was asked to donate ten dollars.
“Ten dollars?” she said. “It only takes ten dollars to bury a Democrat? Here’s a hundred – go bury 10 of them!”
6. Q: How do you keep a Democrat busy?
A: Write ‘Please turn over’ on both sides of a piece of paper.
7. Q: How do you keep a Liberal busy all day?
A: Put him in a round room and tell him to wait in the corner.
8. Q: What do you call a Democrat with an IQ of 130?
A: A foursome
9. Q: How do you get a one-armed Liberal out of a tree?
A: Wave to him.
10. Q: What do you call a basement full of Liberals?
A: A whine cellar.
11. Q: What is the definition of gross ignorance?
A: 144 Democrats.
12. Q: What is foreplay for a Democrat?
A: Thirty minutes of begging.
13. Q: What is the Democrat doing when he holds his hands ti...
Here is some more humor for you. Have a great Sunday.
55 Funny Liberal/Democrat Jokes To Start Your Day
1. Q: What do you get when you offer a Liberal a penny for his thoughts?
A: Change.
2. Q: How do you confuse a Liberal?
A: You don’t. They’re born that way.
3. Q: Why is it good to have a Democrat passenger?
A: You can park in the handicap zone.
4. Q: What’s the difference between Elvis and a smart Liberal?
A: Elvis has been sighted.
5. A Democrat died and a friend went around collecting for a fund for his funeral. A woman was asked to donate ten dollars.
“Ten dollars?” she said. “It only takes ten dollars to bury a Democrat? Here’s a hundred – go bury 10 of them!”
6. Q: How do you keep a Democrat busy?
A: Write ‘Please turn over’ on both sides of a piece of paper.
7. Q: How do you keep a Liberal busy all day?
A: Put him in a round room and tell him to wait in the corner.
8. Q: What do you call a Democrat with an IQ of 130?
A: A foursome
9. Q: How do you get a one-armed Liberal out of a tree?
A: Wave to him.
10. Q: What do you call a basement full of Liberals?
A: A whine cellar.
11. Q: What is the definition of gross ignorance?
A: 144 Democrats.
12. Q: What is foreplay for a Democrat?
A: Thirty minutes of begging.
13. Q: What is the Democrat doing when he holds his hands tightly over his ears?
A: Trying to hold on to a thought.
14. Q: Why did the Liberal have blisters on his lips?
A: From trying to blow out lightbulbs.
15. Q: Why do Liberals work seven days a week?
A: So you don’t have to retrain them on Monday.
16. A Democrat found a magic genie’s lamp and rubbed it. The genie said, “I will grant you one wish.” He said, “I wish I were smarter”. So the genie made him a Republican.
17. Q: What the difference between a Democrat and the rear end of a horse?
A: I don’t know either.
18. Q: How is a Liberal different from a sewer rat?
A: Some people actually like sewer rats.
19. Q: How many Democrats does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None. They prefer to walk in the dark.
20. Q: Why do so many Liberals live in L.A.?
A: It’s the only city that is easy enough for them to spell.
21. Q: What’s five miles long and has an IQ of forty?
A: A Democrat parade.
22. Q: What is it called when a Liberal blows in another Liberal’s ear?
A: Data transfer.
23. Q: Why don’t they let Liberals swim in the ocean?
A: Because they can’t get the smell out of the tuna.
24. Q: How do you plant dope?
A: Bury a Democrat.
25. Q: What’s the difference between a Liberal and a sack of manure?
A: The sack.
26. Q: What’s the definition of a Democrat running for Congress for the first time?
A: A mouse trying to become a rat.
27. Q: What’s the difference between God and a Democrat?
A: God knows He’s not a Democrat.
28. Q: What’s the difference between an Iraq terrorist and a liberal?
A: The Iraq terrorist makes fewer demands.
29. Q: What’s the difference between liberals and cow pies?
A: Cow pies stop stinking after awhile
30. Q: Did you hear about the new liberal agenda.
A: They got two hands in your front pocket and two in you back pockets.
31. Q: What’s the definition of a liberal genius?
A: A liberal who can count all 50 states.
32. Q: What do you get when you cross a Jackass with an onion?
A: A whinny Liberal.
33. Q: How is being at a Democrat convention different from being at the circus?
A: At the circus the clowns don’t beg and whine at you.
34. Q: How many Liberals does it take to change a light bulb?
A: It takes ten, nine to deny that darkness exists and one to hire a Republican to change it.
35. Q: How much does a Liberal cost?
A: Nothing, Liberals have no values.
36. Q: How many chromosomes does a Liberal have?
A: Only 45, they are missing the “Truth Acceptance Chromosome.”
37. Q: What is the difference between Liberalism and Communism?
A: The Communist admit it.
38. Q: How high can a Liberal’s I-Q go?
A: Only as high as the Liberal Spin they receive.
39. Q: Why do Liberals lie?
A: It comes natural
40. Q: What is a Liberal’s primary “feeling?”
A: Envy.
41. Q: What is a sure way to teach a Liberal to fetch?
A: Tie Obama’s picture to a stick and throw it.
42. Q: Why do flies fly over Liberals heads?
A: They have crap for brains.
43. Q: How can you tell a group of Liberals?
A: They are the ones burning the American Flag.
44. Q: How can you tell a group of Liberals?
A: They are the ones burning the Constitution
45. Q: What is the difference between a Liberal and a bucket of old cheese?
A: The bucket
46. Q: What is the difference between giving to the poor and giving to Liberals?
A: The poor don’t follow you around for three weeks whining for more.
47. Q: Why did God make Liberal smarter than rats?
A: He didn’t.
48. Q: How do you drown a Liberal?
A: You paint Obama’s face at the bottom of a pool.
49. Q: Why do Liberals like smart women?
A: Opposites attract.
50. Q: Why is it so hard for Liberals to make eye contact?
A: Obama’s rear doesn’t have eyes.
51. Q: Why is it so hard for Liberals to see?
A: There are no lights in Pelosi’s rear.
52. Q: How can you tell between cow pies and Liberals?
A: You Can’t.
53. Q: What’s the difference between a Democrat and a trampoline?
A: You take off your shoes before you jump on a trampoline.
54. What do you call 10,000 liberals at the bottom of the ocean?
A: A GOOD START!!!
55. Q: If Hillary, Obama, Pelosi and all the liberals are on a sinking ship, who gets saved?
A: We do.
Categories: Politics
(more)55 Funny Liberal/Democrat Jokes To Start Your Day
1. Q: What do you get when you offer a Liberal a penny for his thoughts?
A: Change.
2. Q: How do you confuse a Liberal?
A: You don’t. They’re born that way.
3. Q: Why is it good to have a Democrat passenger?
A: You can park in the handicap zone.
4. Q: What’s the difference between Elvis and a smart Liberal?
A: Elvis has been sighted.
5. A Democrat died and a friend went around collecting for a fund for his funeral. A woman was asked to donate ten dollars.
“Ten dollars?” she said. “It only takes ten dollars to bury a Democrat? Here’s a hundred – go bury 10 of them!”
6. Q: How do you keep a Democrat busy?
A: Write ‘Please turn over’ on both sides of a piece of paper.
7. Q: How do you keep a Liberal busy all day?
A: Put him in a round room and tell him to wait in the corner.
8. Q: What do you call a Democrat with an IQ of 130?
A: A foursome
9. Q: How do you get a one-armed Liberal out of a tree?
A: Wave to him.
10. Q: What do you call a basement full of Liberals?
A: A whine cellar.
11. Q: What is the definition of gross ignorance?
A: 144 Democrats.
12. Q: What is foreplay for a Democrat?
A: Thirty minutes of begging.
13. Q: What is the Democrat doing when he holds his hands tightly over his ears?
A: Trying to hold on to a thought.
14. Q: Why did the Liberal have blisters on his lips?
A: From trying to blow out lightbulbs.
15. Q: Why do Liberals work seven days a week?
A: So you don’t have to retrain them on Monday.
16. A Democrat found a magic genie’s lamp and rubbed it. The genie said, “I will grant you one wish.” He said, “I wish I were smarter”. So the genie made him a Republican.
17. Q: What the difference between a Democrat and the rear end of a horse?
A: I don’t know either.
18. Q: How is a Liberal different from a sewer rat?
A: Some people actually like sewer rats.
19. Q: How many Democrats does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None. They prefer to walk in the dark.
20. Q: Why do so many Liberals live in L.A.?
A: It’s the only city that is easy enough for them to spell.
21. Q: What’s five miles long and has an IQ of forty?
A: A Democrat parade.
22. Q: What is it called when a Liberal blows in another Liberal’s ear?
A: Data transfer.
23. Q: Why don’t they let Liberals swim in the ocean?
A: Because they can’t get the smell out of the tuna.
24. Q: How do you plant dope?
A: Bury a Democrat.
25. Q: What’s the difference between a Liberal and a sack of manure?
A: The sack.
26. Q: What’s the definition of a Democrat running for Congress for the first time?
A: A mouse trying to become a rat.
27. Q: What’s the difference between God and a Democrat?
A: God knows He’s not a Democrat.
28. Q: What’s the difference between an Iraq terrorist and a liberal?
A: The Iraq terrorist makes fewer demands.
29. Q: What’s the difference between liberals and cow pies?
A: Cow pies stop stinking after awhile
30. Q: Did you hear about the new liberal agenda.
A: They got two hands in your front pocket and two in you back pockets.
31. Q: What’s the definition of a liberal genius?
A: A liberal who can count all 50 states.
32. Q: What do you get when you cross a Jackass with an onion?
A: A whinny Liberal.
33. Q: How is being at a Democrat convention different from being at the circus?
A: At the circus the clowns don’t beg and whine at you.
34. Q: How many Liberals does it take to change a light bulb?
A: It takes ten, nine to deny that darkness exists and one to hire a Republican to change it.
35. Q: How much does a Liberal cost?
A: Nothing, Liberals have no values.
36. Q: How many chromosomes does a Liberal have?
A: Only 45, they are missing the “Truth Acceptance Chromosome.”
37. Q: What is the difference between Liberalism and Communism?
A: The Communist admit it.
38. Q: How high can a Liberal’s I-Q go?
A: Only as high as the Liberal Spin they receive.
39. Q: Why do Liberals lie?
A: It comes natural
40. Q: What is a Liberal’s primary “feeling?”
A: Envy.
41. Q: What is a sure way to teach a Liberal to fetch?
A: Tie Obama’s picture to a stick and throw it.
42. Q: Why do flies fly over Liberals heads?
A: They have crap for brains.
43. Q: How can you tell a group of Liberals?
A: They are the ones burning the American Flag.
44. Q: How can you tell a group of Liberals?
A: They are the ones burning the Constitution
45. Q: What is the difference between a Liberal and a bucket of old cheese?
A: The bucket
46. Q: What is the difference between giving to the poor and giving to Liberals?
A: The poor don’t follow you around for three weeks whining for more.
47. Q: Why did God make Liberal smarter than rats?
A: He didn’t.
48. Q: How do you drown a Liberal?
A: You paint Obama’s face at the bottom of a pool.
49. Q: Why do Liberals like smart women?
A: Opposites attract.
50. Q: Why is it so hard for Liberals to make eye contact?
A: Obama’s rear doesn’t have eyes.
51. Q: Why is it so hard for Liberals to see?
A: There are no lights in Pelosi’s rear.
52. Q: How can you tell between cow pies and Liberals?
A: You Can’t.
53. Q: What’s the difference between a Democrat and a trampoline?
A: You take off your shoes before you jump on a trampoline.
54. What do you call 10,000 liberals at the bottom of the ocean?
A: A GOOD START!!!
55. Q: If Hillary, Obama, Pelosi and all the liberals are on a sinking ship, who gets saved?
A: We do.
Categories: Politics
Airforce One fly over
ACORN Fraud
Light Squared
Solyndra
Recess appointment while Congress in session
Fast and Furious
G.S.A. (0bama alerted 11 months ago)
Obama's Secret Service gives new meaning to ''Secret Service'' and makes a mockery of the US
Allowed the country to be attacked on 9/11
Started 2 unfunded wars
Destroyed the US economy and crashed the stock market
Lost nearly 5 million jobs
Doubled the national debt in 8 years after inheriting a budget surplus.
Barack Obama:
•Obama has overhauled the food safety system
•Advanced women's rights in the work place
•Ended Don't Ask, Don't Tell (DADT) in our military
•Stopped defending DOMA in court.
•Passed the Hate Crimes bill.
•Appointed two pro-choice women to the Supreme Court.
•Expanded access to medical care and provided subsidies for people who can't afford it.
•Expanded the Children's Health Insurance Program (CHIP)
•Fixed the preexisting conditions travesty [and rescissions] in health insurance.
•Invested in clean energy.
•Overhauled the credit card industry, making it much more consumer-friendly.
•While Dodd-Frank bill was weak in many respects, it was still an extremely worthwhile start at re-regulating the financial sector.
•He created a Elizabeth Warren's dream agency: The Consumer Financial Protection Bureau.
•He's done a lot for veterans
•He got help for people whose health was injured during the clean-up after the 9/11 attacks.
•He's killed Osama Bin Laden
•Eliminated several other Al-Qaeda leaders
•Ended the...
Allowed the country to be attacked on 9/11
Started 2 unfunded wars
Destroyed the US economy and crashed the stock market
Lost nearly 5 million jobs
Doubled the national debt in 8 years after inheriting a budget surplus.
Barack Obama:
•Obama has overhauled the food safety system
•Advanced women's rights in the work place
•Ended Don't Ask, Don't Tell (DADT) in our military
•Stopped defending DOMA in court.
•Passed the Hate Crimes bill.
•Appointed two pro-choice women to the Supreme Court.
•Expanded access to medical care and provided subsidies for people who can't afford it.
•Expanded the Children's Health Insurance Program (CHIP)
•Fixed the preexisting conditions travesty [and rescissions] in health insurance.
•Invested in clean energy.
•Overhauled the credit card industry, making it much more consumer-friendly.
•While Dodd-Frank bill was weak in many respects, it was still an extremely worthwhile start at re-regulating the financial sector.
•He created a Elizabeth Warren's dream agency: The Consumer Financial Protection Bureau.
•He's done a lot for veterans
•He got help for people whose health was injured during the clean-up after the 9/11 attacks.
•He's killed Osama Bin Laden
•Eliminated several other Al-Qaeda leaders
•Ended the War in Iraq
•Begun the drawdown of forces from Afghanistan
•End-run Republican obstructionism by recess-appointing Richard Cordray to run the Consumer Financial Protection Board.
I'll take Obama every single time.
· First President to apply for college aid as a foreign student, then deny he was a foreigner.
· First President to have a social security number from a state he has never lived in.
· First President to preside over a cut to the credit-rating of the United States
· First President to violate the War Powers Act. .
· First President to be held in contempt of court for illegally obstructing oil drilling in the Gulf of Mexico ..
· First President to defy a Federal Judge's court order to cease implementing the Health Care Reform Law.
· First President to require all Americans to purchase a product from a third party.
· First President to spend a trillion dollars on 'shovel-ready' jobs when there was no such thing as 'shovel-ready' jobs.
· First President to abrogate bankruptcy law to turn over control of companies to his union supporters.
· First President to by-pass Congress and implement the Dream Act through executive fiat. ..
· First President to order a secret amnesty program that stopped the deportation of illegal immigrants across the U.S. , including those with criminal convictions.
· First President to demand a company hand-over $20 billion to one of his political appointees.
· First President to terminate America ’s ability to put a man in space.
· First President to have a la...
· First President to apply for college aid as a foreign student, then deny he was a foreigner.
· First President to have a social security number from a state he has never lived in.
· First President to preside over a cut to the credit-rating of the United States
· First President to violate the War Powers Act. .
· First President to be held in contempt of court for illegally obstructing oil drilling in the Gulf of Mexico ..
· First President to defy a Federal Judge's court order to cease implementing the Health Care Reform Law.
· First President to require all Americans to purchase a product from a third party.
· First President to spend a trillion dollars on 'shovel-ready' jobs when there was no such thing as 'shovel-ready' jobs.
· First President to abrogate bankruptcy law to turn over control of companies to his union supporters.
· First President to by-pass Congress and implement the Dream Act through executive fiat. ..
· First President to order a secret amnesty program that stopped the deportation of illegal immigrants across the U.S. , including those with criminal convictions.
· First President to demand a company hand-over $20 billion to one of his political appointees.
· First President to terminate America ’s ability to put a man in space.
· First President to have a law signed by an auto-pen without being present.
· First President to arbitrarily declare an existing law unconstitutional and refuse to enforce it.
· First President to threaten insurance companies if they publicly spoke-out on the reasons for their rate increases.
· First President to tell a major manufacturing company in which state it is allowed to locate a factory.
· First President to file lawsuits against the states he swore an oath to protect (AZ, WI, OH, IN).
· First President to withdraw an existing coal permit that had been properly issued years ago.
· First President to fire an inspector general of Ameri-corps for catching one of his friends in a corruption case.
· First President to appoint 45 czars to replace elected officials in his office. .
· First President to golf 73 separate times in his first two and a half years in office, 90 to date.
· First President to hide his medical, educational and travel records.
· First President to win a Nobel Peace Prize for doing NOTHING to earn it.
· First President to go on multiple global 'apology tours'.
· First President to go on 17 lavish vacations, including date nights and Wednesday evening White House parties for his friends; paid for by the taxpayer.
· First President to have 22 personal servants (taxpayer funded) for his wife.
· First President to keep a dog trainer on retainer for $102,000 a year at taxpayer expense.
· First President to repeat the Holy Qur’an tells us the early morning call of the Azan (Islamic call to worship) is the most beautiful sound on earth.
· First President to take a 17 day vacation.
*94 rounds of Golf
*Light Squared
*Solyndra
*Recess appointment while Congress in session
*Fast and Furious
*G.S.A. (0bama alerted 11 months ago)
*Obama's Secret Service gives new meaning to ''Secret Service'' and makes a mockery of the US