Here is some more humor for you. Have a great Sunday.
55 Funny Liberal/Democrat Jokes To Start Your Day
1. Q: What do you get when you offer a Liberal a penny for his thoughts?
A: Change.
2. Q: How do you confuse a Liberal?
A: You don’t. They’re born that way.
3. Q: Why is it good to have a Democrat passenger?
A: You can park in the handicap zone.
4. Q: What’s the difference between Elvis and a smart Liberal?
A: Elvis has been sighted.
5. A Democrat died and a friend went around collecting for a fund for his funeral. A woman was asked to donate ten dollars.
“Ten dollars?” she said. “It only takes ten dollars to bury a Democrat? Here’s a hundred – go bury 10 of them!”
6. Q: How do you keep a Democrat busy?
A: Write ‘Please turn over’ on both sides of a piece of paper.
7. Q: How do you keep a Liberal busy all day?
A: Put him in a round room and tell him to wait in the corner.
8. Q: What do you call a Democrat with an IQ of 130?
A: A foursome
9. Q: How do you get a one-armed Liberal out of a tree?
A: Wave to him.
10. Q: What do you call a basement full of Liberals?
A: A whine cellar.
11. Q: What is the definition of gross ignorance?
A: 144 Democrats.
12. Q: What is foreplay for a Democrat?
A: Thirty minutes of begging.
13. Q: What is the Democrat doing when he holds his hands ti...
55 Funny Liberal/Democrat Jokes To Start Your Day
1. Q: What do you get when you offer a Liberal a penny for his thoughts?
A: Change.
2. Q: How do you confuse a Liberal?
A: You don’t. They’re born that way.
3. Q: Why is it good to have a Democrat passenger?
A: You can park in the handicap zone.
4. Q: What’s the difference between Elvis and a smart Liberal?
A: Elvis has been sighted.
5. A Democrat died and a friend went around collecting for a fund for his funeral. A woman was asked to donate ten dollars.
“Ten dollars?” she said. “It only takes ten dollars to bury a Democrat? Here’s a hundred – go bury 10 of them!”
6. Q: How do you keep a Democrat busy?
A: Write ‘Please turn over’ on both sides of a piece of paper.
7. Q: How do you keep a Liberal busy all day?
A: Put him in a round room and tell him to wait in the corner.
8. Q: What do you call a Democrat with an IQ of 130?
A: A foursome
9. Q: How do you get a one-armed Liberal out of a tree?
A: Wave to him.
10. Q: What do you call a basement full of Liberals?
A: A whine cellar.
11. Q: What is the definition of gross ignorance?
A: 144 Democrats.
12. Q: What is foreplay for a Democrat?
A: Thirty minutes of begging.
13. Q: What is the Democrat doing when he holds his hands ti...
Here is some more humor for you. Have a great Sunday.
55 Funny Liberal/Democrat Jokes To Start Your Day
1. Q: What do you get when you offer a Liberal a penny for his thoughts?
A: Change.
2. Q: How do you confuse a Liberal?
A: You don’t. They’re born that way.
3. Q: Why is it good to have a Democrat passenger?
A: You can park in the handicap zone.
4. Q: What’s the difference between Elvis and a smart Liberal?
A: Elvis has been sighted.
5. A Democrat died and a friend went around collecting for a fund for his funeral. A woman was asked to donate ten dollars.
“Ten dollars?” she said. “It only takes ten dollars to bury a Democrat? Here’s a hundred – go bury 10 of them!”
6. Q: How do you keep a Democrat busy?
A: Write ‘Please turn over’ on both sides of a piece of paper.
7. Q: How do you keep a Liberal busy all day?
A: Put him in a round room and tell him to wait in the corner.
8. Q: What do you call a Democrat with an IQ of 130?
A: A foursome
9. Q: How do you get a one-armed Liberal out of a tree?
A: Wave to him.
10. Q: What do you call a basement full of Liberals?
A: A whine cellar.
11. Q: What is the definition of gross ignorance?
A: 144 Democrats.
12. Q: What is foreplay for a Democrat?
A: Thirty minutes of begging.
13. Q: What is the Democrat doing when he holds his hands tightly over his ears?
A: Trying to hold on to a thought.
14. Q: Why did the Liberal have blisters on his lips?
A: From trying to blow out lightbulbs.
15. Q: Why do Liberals work seven days a week?
A: So you don’t have to retrain them on Monday.
16. A Democrat found a magic genie’s lamp and rubbed it. The genie said, “I will grant you one wish.” He said, “I wish I were smarter”. So the genie made him a Republican.
17. Q: What the difference between a Democrat and the rear end of a horse?
A: I don’t know either.
18. Q: How is a Liberal different from a sewer rat?
A: Some people actually like sewer rats.
19. Q: How many Democrats does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None. They prefer to walk in the dark.
20. Q: Why do so many Liberals live in L.A.?
A: It’s the only city that is easy enough for them to spell.
21. Q: What’s five miles long and has an IQ of forty?
A: A Democrat parade.
22. Q: What is it called when a Liberal blows in another Liberal’s ear?
A: Data transfer.
23. Q: Why don’t they let Liberals swim in the ocean?
A: Because they can’t get the smell out of the tuna.
24. Q: How do you plant dope?
A: Bury a Democrat.
25. Q: What’s the difference between a Liberal and a sack of manure?
A: The sack.
26. Q: What’s the definition of a Democrat running for Congress for the first time?
A: A mouse trying to become a rat.
27. Q: What’s the difference between God and a Democrat?
A: God knows He’s not a Democrat.
28. Q: What’s the difference between an Iraq terrorist and a liberal?
A: The Iraq terrorist makes fewer demands.
29. Q: What’s the difference between liberals and cow pies?
A: Cow pies stop stinking after awhile
30. Q: Did you hear about the new liberal agenda.
A: They got two hands in your front pocket and two in you back pockets.
31. Q: What’s the definition of a liberal genius?
A: A liberal who can count all 50 states.
32. Q: What do you get when you cross a Jackass with an onion?
A: A whinny Liberal.
33. Q: How is being at a Democrat convention different from being at the circus?
A: At the circus the clowns don’t beg and whine at you.
34. Q: How many Liberals does it take to change a light bulb?
A: It takes ten, nine to deny that darkness exists and one to hire a Republican to change it.
35. Q: How much does a Liberal cost?
A: Nothing, Liberals have no values.
36. Q: How many chromosomes does a Liberal have?
A: Only 45, they are missing the “Truth Acceptance Chromosome.”
37. Q: What is the difference between Liberalism and Communism?
A: The Communist admit it.
38. Q: How high can a Liberal’s I-Q go?
A: Only as high as the Liberal Spin they receive.
39. Q: Why do Liberals lie?
A: It comes natural
40. Q: What is a Liberal’s primary “feeling?”
A: Envy.
41. Q: What is a sure way to teach a Liberal to fetch?
A: Tie Obama’s picture to a stick and throw it.
42. Q: Why do flies fly over Liberals heads?
A: They have crap for brains.
43. Q: How can you tell a group of Liberals?
A: They are the ones burning the American Flag.
44. Q: How can you tell a group of Liberals?
A: They are the ones burning the Constitution
45. Q: What is the difference between a Liberal and a bucket of old cheese?
A: The bucket
46. Q: What is the difference between giving to the poor and giving to Liberals?
A: The poor don’t follow you around for three weeks whining for more.
47. Q: Why did God make Liberal smarter than rats?
A: He didn’t.
48. Q: How do you drown a Liberal?
A: You paint Obama’s face at the bottom of a pool.
49. Q: Why do Liberals like smart women?
A: Opposites attract.
50. Q: Why is it so hard for Liberals to make eye contact?
A: Obama’s rear doesn’t have eyes.
51. Q: Why is it so hard for Liberals to see?
A: There are no lights in Pelosi’s rear.
52. Q: How can you tell between cow pies and Liberals?
A: You Can’t.
53. Q: What’s the difference between a Democrat and a trampoline?
A: You take off your shoes before you jump on a trampoline.
54. What do you call 10,000 liberals at the bottom of the ocean?
A: A GOOD START!!!
55. Q: If Hillary, Obama, Pelosi and all the liberals are on a sinking ship, who gets saved?
A: We do.
Categories: Politics
(more)55 Funny Liberal/Democrat Jokes To Start Your Day
1. Q: What do you get when you offer a Liberal a penny for his thoughts?
A: Change.
2. Q: How do you confuse a Liberal?
A: You don’t. They’re born that way.
3. Q: Why is it good to have a Democrat passenger?
A: You can park in the handicap zone.
4. Q: What’s the difference between Elvis and a smart Liberal?
A: Elvis has been sighted.
5. A Democrat died and a friend went around collecting for a fund for his funeral. A woman was asked to donate ten dollars.
“Ten dollars?” she said. “It only takes ten dollars to bury a Democrat? Here’s a hundred – go bury 10 of them!”
6. Q: How do you keep a Democrat busy?
A: Write ‘Please turn over’ on both sides of a piece of paper.
7. Q: How do you keep a Liberal busy all day?
A: Put him in a round room and tell him to wait in the corner.
8. Q: What do you call a Democrat with an IQ of 130?
A: A foursome
9. Q: How do you get a one-armed Liberal out of a tree?
A: Wave to him.
10. Q: What do you call a basement full of Liberals?
A: A whine cellar.
11. Q: What is the definition of gross ignorance?
A: 144 Democrats.
12. Q: What is foreplay for a Democrat?
A: Thirty minutes of begging.
13. Q: What is the Democrat doing when he holds his hands tightly over his ears?
A: Trying to hold on to a thought.
14. Q: Why did the Liberal have blisters on his lips?
A: From trying to blow out lightbulbs.
15. Q: Why do Liberals work seven days a week?
A: So you don’t have to retrain them on Monday.
16. A Democrat found a magic genie’s lamp and rubbed it. The genie said, “I will grant you one wish.” He said, “I wish I were smarter”. So the genie made him a Republican.
17. Q: What the difference between a Democrat and the rear end of a horse?
A: I don’t know either.
18. Q: How is a Liberal different from a sewer rat?
A: Some people actually like sewer rats.
19. Q: How many Democrats does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None. They prefer to walk in the dark.
20. Q: Why do so many Liberals live in L.A.?
A: It’s the only city that is easy enough for them to spell.
21. Q: What’s five miles long and has an IQ of forty?
A: A Democrat parade.
22. Q: What is it called when a Liberal blows in another Liberal’s ear?
A: Data transfer.
23. Q: Why don’t they let Liberals swim in the ocean?
A: Because they can’t get the smell out of the tuna.
24. Q: How do you plant dope?
A: Bury a Democrat.
25. Q: What’s the difference between a Liberal and a sack of manure?
A: The sack.
26. Q: What’s the definition of a Democrat running for Congress for the first time?
A: A mouse trying to become a rat.
27. Q: What’s the difference between God and a Democrat?
A: God knows He’s not a Democrat.
28. Q: What’s the difference between an Iraq terrorist and a liberal?
A: The Iraq terrorist makes fewer demands.
29. Q: What’s the difference between liberals and cow pies?
A: Cow pies stop stinking after awhile
30. Q: Did you hear about the new liberal agenda.
A: They got two hands in your front pocket and two in you back pockets.
31. Q: What’s the definition of a liberal genius?
A: A liberal who can count all 50 states.
32. Q: What do you get when you cross a Jackass with an onion?
A: A whinny Liberal.
33. Q: How is being at a Democrat convention different from being at the circus?
A: At the circus the clowns don’t beg and whine at you.
34. Q: How many Liberals does it take to change a light bulb?
A: It takes ten, nine to deny that darkness exists and one to hire a Republican to change it.
35. Q: How much does a Liberal cost?
A: Nothing, Liberals have no values.
36. Q: How many chromosomes does a Liberal have?
A: Only 45, they are missing the “Truth Acceptance Chromosome.”
37. Q: What is the difference between Liberalism and Communism?
A: The Communist admit it.
38. Q: How high can a Liberal’s I-Q go?
A: Only as high as the Liberal Spin they receive.
39. Q: Why do Liberals lie?
A: It comes natural
40. Q: What is a Liberal’s primary “feeling?”
A: Envy.
41. Q: What is a sure way to teach a Liberal to fetch?
A: Tie Obama’s picture to a stick and throw it.
42. Q: Why do flies fly over Liberals heads?
A: They have crap for brains.
43. Q: How can you tell a group of Liberals?
A: They are the ones burning the American Flag.
44. Q: How can you tell a group of Liberals?
A: They are the ones burning the Constitution
45. Q: What is the difference between a Liberal and a bucket of old cheese?
A: The bucket
46. Q: What is the difference between giving to the poor and giving to Liberals?
A: The poor don’t follow you around for three weeks whining for more.
47. Q: Why did God make Liberal smarter than rats?
A: He didn’t.
48. Q: How do you drown a Liberal?
A: You paint Obama’s face at the bottom of a pool.
49. Q: Why do Liberals like smart women?
A: Opposites attract.
50. Q: Why is it so hard for Liberals to make eye contact?
A: Obama’s rear doesn’t have eyes.
51. Q: Why is it so hard for Liberals to see?
A: There are no lights in Pelosi’s rear.
52. Q: How can you tell between cow pies and Liberals?
A: You Can’t.
53. Q: What’s the difference between a Democrat and a trampoline?
A: You take off your shoes before you jump on a trampoline.
54. What do you call 10,000 liberals at the bottom of the ocean?
A: A GOOD START!!!
55. Q: If Hillary, Obama, Pelosi and all the liberals are on a sinking ship, who gets saved?
A: We do.
Categories: Politics
"And if a stranger dwells with you in your land, you shall not mistreat him. 'The stranger who dwells among you shall be to you as one born among you, and you shall love him as yourself; for you were strangers in the land of Egypt: I am the LORD your God."
Leviticus 19:33-34
#1 Median household income in the United States is down 7.8 percent since December 2007 after adjusting for inflation.
#2 There are 5.6 million less jobs than there were when the last recession began back in late 2007.
#3 The U.S. government says that the number of Americans “not in the labor force” rose by 17.9 million between 2000 and 2011. During the entire decade of the 1980s, the number of Americans “not in the labor force” rose by only 1.7 million.
#4 In 2007, the unemployment rate for the 20 to 29 age bracket was about 6.5 percent. Today, the unemployment rate for that same age group is about 13 percent.
#5 In 2007, 73.2 percent of all young adults between the ages of 18 and 24 that were not enrolled in school had jobs. Today, that number has declined to 65 percent.
#6 Back in the year 2000, more than 50 percent of all Americans teens had a job. This past summer, only 29.6% of all American teens had a job.
#7 When Barack Obama entered the White House, the number of “long-term unemployed workers” in the United States was approximately 2.6 million. Today, that number is sitting at 5.6 million.
#8 The average duration of unemployment in the United States is n...
#1 Median household income in the United States is down 7.8 percent since December 2007 after adjusting for inflation.
#2 There are 5.6 million less jobs than there were when the last recession began back in late 2007.
#3 The U.S. government says that the number of Americans “not in the labor force” rose by 17.9 million between 2000 and 2011. During the entire decade of the 1980s, the number of Americans “not in the labor force” rose by only 1.7 million.
#4 In 2007, the unemployment rate for the 20 to 29 age bracket was about 6.5 percent. Today, the unemployment rate for that same age group is about 13 percent.
#5 In 2007, 73.2 percent of all young adults between the ages of 18 and 24 that were not enrolled in school had jobs. Today, that number has declined to 65 percent.
#6 Back in the year 2000, more than 50 percent of all Americans teens had a job. This past summer, only 29.6% of all American teens had a job.
#7 When Barack Obama entered the White House, the number of “long-term unemployed workers” in the United States was approximately 2.6 million. Today, that number is sitting at 5.6 million.
#8 The average duration of unemployment in the United States is nearly three times as long as it was back in the year 2000.
#9 Back in 1950, more than 80 percent of all men in the United States had jobs. Today, less than 65 percent of all men in the United States have jobs.
#10 According to the Obama administration, about 20 percent of all jobs in the United States were manufacturing jobs back in the year 2000. Today, about 5 percent of all jobs in the United States are manufacturing jobs.
#11 Sadly, more than 56,000 manufacturing facilities in the United States have been shut down since 2001.
#12 Back in 1980, less than 30% of all jobs in the United States were low income jobs. Today, more than 40% of all jobs in the United States are low income jobs.
#13 The U.S. trade deficit with China during 2011 was 28 times larger than it was back in 1990.
#14 About twice as many new homes were sold in the United States in 1965 as are being sold today.
#15 Home prices in the 4th quarter of 2011 were four percent lower than they were during the 4th quarter of 2010. Overall, U.S. home prices are 34 percent lower than they were back at the peak of the housing bubble.
#16 The total value of household real estate in America has declined from $22.7 trillion in 2006 to $16.2 trillion today.
#17 At the end of 2011, 22.8 percent of all homes in the United States with a mortgage were in negative equity. That would have been unthinkable a decade or two ago.
#18 Total home mortgage debt in the United States is now about 5 times larger than it was just 20 years ago.
#19 Total consumer debt in the United States has increased by a whopping 1700% since 1971.
#20 Since the beginning of 2009, the average price of a gallon of gasoline in the United States has increased by more than90 percent.
#21 The number of children living in poverty in the state of California has increased by 30 percent since 2007.
#22 Back in the year 2000, 11.3% of all Americans were living in poverty. Today, 15.1% of all Americans are living in poverty.
#23 In November 2008, 30.8 million Americans were on food stamps. Today, 46.5 million Americans are on food stamps.
#24 The U.S. dollar has lost 96.2 percent of its value since 1900. You can thank the Federal Reserve system for that.
#25 In 1950, the United States was #1 in GDP per capita. Today, the United States is #13 in GDP per capita.
#26 According to the U.S. Census Bureau, 49 percent of all Americans live in a home that receives direct monetary benefits from the federal government. Back in 1983, less than a third of all Americans lived in a home that received direct monetary benefits from the federal government.
#27 In 1980, government transfer payments accounted for just 11.7% of all income. Today, government transfer payments account for more than 18 percent of all income.
#28 Federal housing assistance increased by a whopping 42 percent between 2006 and 2010.
#29 Medicare spending increased by 138 percent between 1999 and 2010.
#30 Back in 1990, the federal government accounted for 32 percent of all health care spending in America. Today, that figure is up to 45 percent and it is projected to surpass 50 percent very shortly.
#31 Back in 1965, only one out of every 50 Americans was on Medicaid. Today, one out of every 6 Americans is on Medicaid, and things are about to get a whole lot worse. It is being projected that Obamacare will add 16 million more Americans to the Medicaid rolls.
#32 Right now, spending by the federal government accounts for about 24 percent of GDP. Back in 2001, it accounted for just 18 percent.
#33 In 2004, the U.S. government had a budget deficit of a little over 412 billion dollars. This year, the U.S. government will run a budget deficit of over 1.3 trillion dollars.
#34 In 2001, the U.S. national debt was less than 6 trillion dollars. Today, it is over 15 trillion dollars and it is increasing by about 150 million dollars every single hour.
#35 The U.S. national debt is now more than 22 times larger than it was when Jimmy Carter became president.
1. Frances Bellamy, author of the Pledge of Allegiance, was a Baptist minister from Upstate NY, a place people used to be able to make a living in before the Democratic Congresses of the 1960s and 70s stripped every federal defense dollar that wasn't nailed down out of the area and sent it South to those racists you Progressives tell us you hate. He became part of the tradition of Christian Socialism that fermented vigorously in that area throughout the 19th Century, preceding the Republican Party by many years, but having few problems co-existing with it after the party became the predominate political force in the area in the 1850s. I'm not really aware of any problems the Republican Party had with various experiments in Christian Socialism in America, perhaps you know something I don't in such regard? I'm not asking about such entities as the Oneida Community which scandalized society at large. However, I'm curious that a progressive fellow such as you is not put off by Bellamy's raging bigotry, but, then again, I'm not my brother's keeper.
2. "Jesus healed the sick and helped the poor, for free." Somehow you have failed to me...
1. Frances Bellamy, author of the Pledge of Allegiance, was a Baptist minister from Upstate NY, a place people used to be able to make a living in before the Democratic Congresses of the 1960s and 70s stripped every federal defense dollar that wasn't nailed down out of the area and sent it South to those racists you Progressives tell us you hate. He became part of the tradition of Christian Socialism that fermented vigorously in that area throughout the 19th Century, preceding the Republican Party by many years, but having few problems co-existing with it after the party became the predominate political force in the area in the 1850s. I'm not really aware of any problems the Republican Party had with various experiments in Christian Socialism in America, perhaps you know something I don't in such regard? I'm not asking about such entities as the Oneida Community which scandalized society at large. However, I'm curious that a progressive fellow such as you is not put off by Bellamy's raging bigotry, but, then again, I'm not my brother's keeper.
2. "Jesus healed the sick and helped the poor, for free." Somehow you have failed to mention that he did it w/o government help, haven't you? Why, as a Republican am I going to be upset w/ that? Even if you ignore my reference to your omission and, further, made it so that Jesus volunteered to distribute government largesse, I would support his actions, Republican that I am, it's the government purchases I'd debate about; I would be upset w/ Jesus's actions only if he tried to take credit for being the supplier of something, rather than making sure that taxpayers were given due crediit. and I certainly would be surprised to hear Him lecture the people to whom he was giving care that they had a Constitutional right to what He was providing.
3. I didn't like Joe McCarthy either. He had redeeming facets, but he needed more.
4. Jefferson Davis and Robert E. Lee were traitors to the United States of America. However, both of them, particularly Lee, were a lot more than that. The fact that you chose to end their biographies were you did says a lot about your approach to things that inspires me to respond to you as often as i do.
5. Many Southerners fought - and died - valiantly in the Civil War, and many of those valiant soldiers fought for reasons that - in their mind - had little or nothing to do with the institution of slavery. Get over it.
6. The Founding Fathers were primarily businessmen and frequently were slaveowners. They unanimously agreed on a document that made explicitly clear that the federal government was not to interfere in the domestic arrangements of the States, to the degree that the Bill of Rights, the set of Amendments rectifying omissions in the original Constitutional document, starts out by saying "Congress [read that again, you seem to be so unaware of it] shall make no law respecting the establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech or of the press ... ." For you to make such a reference as you do in support of the political principles you continually cite on SH is an exercise in utter duplicity or utter ignorance, perhaps both, I'm not sure.
The rest of your list is similarly inappropriate for the purpose you cite; it angers me only when I realize that in every election in which we both participate, your vote counts as much as mine; but, then again, it angers me only briefly, since I recognize that equality is the price of democracy - as opposed to the judicial theocracy in which you'd have us live.
55 Funny Liberal/Democrat Jokes To Start Your Day
1. Q: What do you get when you offer a Liberal a penny for his thoughts?
A: Change.
2. Q: How do you confuse a Liberal?
A: You don’t. They’re born that way.
3. Q: Why is it good to have a Democrat passenger?
A: You can park in the handicap zone.
4. Q: What’s the difference between Elvis and a smart Liberal?
A: Elvis has been sighted.
5. A Democrat died and a friend went around collecting for a fund for his funeral. A woman was asked to donate ten dollars.
“Ten dollars?” she said. “It only takes ten dollars to bury a Democrat? Here’s a hundred – go bury 10 of them!”
6. Q: How do you keep a Democrat busy?
A: Write ‘Please turn over’ on both sides of a piece of paper.
7. Q: How do you keep a Liberal busy all day?
A: Put him in a round room and tell him to wait in the corner.
8. Q: What do you call a Democrat with an IQ of 130?
A: A foursome
9. Q: How do you get a one-armed Liberal out of a tree?
A: Wave to him.
10. Q: What do you call a basement full of Liberals?
A: A whine cellar.
11. Q: What is the definition of gross ignorance?
A: 144 Democrats.
12. Q: What is foreplay for a Democrat?
A: Thirty minutes of begging.
13. Q: What is the Democrat doing when he holds his hands ti...
55 Funny Liberal/Democrat Jokes To Start Your Day
1. Q: What do you get when you offer a Liberal a penny for his thoughts?
A: Change.
2. Q: How do you confuse a Liberal?
A: You don’t. They’re born that way.
3. Q: Why is it good to have a Democrat passenger?
A: You can park in the handicap zone.
4. Q: What’s the difference between Elvis and a smart Liberal?
A: Elvis has been sighted.
5. A Democrat died and a friend went around collecting for a fund for his funeral. A woman was asked to donate ten dollars.
“Ten dollars?” she said. “It only takes ten dollars to bury a Democrat? Here’s a hundred – go bury 10 of them!”
6. Q: How do you keep a Democrat busy?
A: Write ‘Please turn over’ on both sides of a piece of paper.
7. Q: How do you keep a Liberal busy all day?
A: Put him in a round room and tell him to wait in the corner.
8. Q: What do you call a Democrat with an IQ of 130?
A: A foursome
9. Q: How do you get a one-armed Liberal out of a tree?
A: Wave to him.
10. Q: What do you call a basement full of Liberals?
A: A whine cellar.
11. Q: What is the definition of gross ignorance?
A: 144 Democrats.
12. Q: What is foreplay for a Democrat?
A: Thirty minutes of begging.
13. Q: What is the Democrat doing when he holds his hands tightly over his ears?
A: Trying to hold on to a thought.
14. Q: Why did the Liberal have blisters on his lips?
A: From trying to blow out lightbulbs.
15. Q: Why do Liberals work seven days a week?
A: So you don’t have to retrain them on Monday.
16. A Democrat found a magic genie’s lamp and rubbed it. The genie said, “I will grant you one wish.” He said, “I wish I were smarter”. So the genie made him a Republican.
17. Q: What the difference between a Democrat and the rear end of a horse?
A: I don’t know either.
18. Q: How is a Liberal different from a sewer rat?
A: Some people actually like sewer rats.
19. Q: How many Democrats does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None. They prefer to walk in the dark.
20. Q: Why do so many Liberals live in L.A.?
A: It’s the only city that is easy enough for them to spell.
21. Q: What’s five miles long and has an IQ of forty?
A: A Democrat parade.
22. Q: What is it called when a Liberal blows in another Liberal’s ear?
A: Data transfer.
23. Q: Why don’t they let Liberals swim in the ocean?
A: Because they can’t get the smell out of the tuna.
24. Q: How do you plant dope?
A: Bury a Democrat.
25. Q: What’s the difference between a Liberal and a sack of manure?
A: The sack.
26. Q: What’s the definition of a Democrat running for Congress for the first time?
A: A mouse trying to become a rat.
27. Q: What’s the difference between God and a Democrat?
A: God knows He’s not a Democrat.
28. Q: What’s the difference between an Iraq terrorist and a liberal?
A: The Iraq terrorist makes fewer demands.
29. Q: What’s the difference between liberals and cow pies?
A: Cow pies stop stinking after awhile
30. Q: Did you hear about the new liberal agenda.
A: They got two hands in your front pocket and two in you back pockets.
31. Q: What’s the definition of a liberal genius?
A: A liberal who can count all 50 states.
32. Q: What do you get when you cross a Jackass with an onion?
A: A whinny Liberal.
33. Q: How is being at a Democrat convention different from being at the circus?
A: At the circus the clowns don’t beg and whine at you.
34. Q: How many Liberals does it take to change a light bulb?
A: It takes ten, nine to deny that darkness exists and one to hire a Republican to change it.
35. Q: How much does a Liberal cost?
A: Nothing, Liberals have no values.
36. Q: How many chromosomes does a Liberal have?
A: Only 45, they are missing the “Truth Acceptance Chromosome.”
37. Q: What is the difference between Liberalism and Communism?
A: The Communist admit it.
38. Q: How high can a Liberal’s I-Q go?
A: Only as high as the Liberal Spin they receive.
39. Q: Why do Liberals lie?
A: It comes natural
40. Q: What is a Liberal’s primary “feeling?”
A: Envy.
41. Q: What is a sure way to teach a Liberal to fetch?
A: Tie Obama’s picture to a stick and throw it.
42. Q: Why do flies fly over Liberals heads?
A: They have crap for brains.
43. Q: How can you tell a group of Liberals?
A: They are the ones burning the American Flag.
44. Q: How can you tell a group of Liberals?
A: They are the ones burning the Constitution
45. Q: What is the difference between a Liberal and a bucket of old cheese?
A: The bucket
46. Q: What is the difference between giving to the poor and giving to Liberals?
A: The poor don’t follow you around for three weeks whining for more.
47. Q: Why did God make Liberal smarter than rats?
A: He didn’t.
48. Q: How do you drown a Liberal?
A: You paint Obama’s face at the bottom of a pool.
49. Q: Why do Liberals like smart women?
A: Opposites attract.
50. Q: Why is it so hard for Liberals to make eye contact?
A: Obama’s rear doesn’t have eyes.
51. Q: Why is it so hard for Liberals to see?
A: There are no lights in Pelosi’s rear.
52. Q: How can you tell between cow pies and Liberals?
A: You Can’t.
53. Q: What’s the difference between a Democrat and a trampoline?
A: You take off your shoes before you jump on a trampoline.
54. What do you call 10,000 liberals at the bottom of the ocean?
A: A GOOD START!!!
55. Q: If Hillary, Obama, Pelosi and all the liberals are on a sinking ship, who gets saved?
A: We do.
Categories: Politics
Now who's a ding dong.