If the Bible were printed on toilet paper, which book would you wipe your ass with?

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+1 raves
Xyoga the Parody Chick June 19, 2009 16:11:35

Answered: All of the above
the whole freaking roll!
someone get me some dairy products and hide all the lactose pills!
+1 raves
StreetSpirit June 18, 2009 05:04:54

Answered: Other
leviticus

http://skepticsannotatedbible...
+1 raves
crimsonbutterfly June 15, 2009 19:33:19 (edited)

Answered: All of the above
No preference. The entire thing sux!
EDIT: But then I began to wonder. If I use it wouldn't I have to worry about reverse crap transfer? It's supposed to clean my ass, not smear more crap on it lol.
+2 raves
Angelus June 15, 2009 04:27:00

Answered: All of the above
As a story book it's good, that's about it though

Vv^^^^vV
+2 raves
Brosia June 15, 2009 04:16:58

Answered: Revelation
Revelations is kind of a downer, and reads a bit sexist, if you ask me. But I don't like to waste, so eventually, I would use it all.
+4 raves
Velociraptor June 13, 2009 22:52:08 (edited)

Answered: Other
Seeing as I believe in the Bible, none of them. But so that I don't start a fight, I'll improvise and wipe it on Twilight.

(Hope you don't mind me saying that. It was a golden opportunity.)
+1 raves
Milk Maid Dud Bean June 13, 2009 16:38:56

Answered: Other
I'd offer Atlas Shrugged as an alternative, but I already used it for kindling.
+1 raves
ctrlzmankind June 13, 2009 02:56:27 (edited)

Answered: Genesis
If I had to choose just one, it would be Genesis hands down.

It is the most bullshit out of the whole thing!

That or revelations.

Fuck, just give me the whole damn bible and I will take a shit directly on it, and wipe my ass with a copy of twilight.

I will then proceed to burn them both.
+1 raves
1014589 June 12, 2009 07:31:14

Answered: Numbers
moderated...
+2 raves
spunkysmum ~ Tall In the S... June 12, 2009 07:29:19

Answered: John
Oh, my bad!

I misunderstood the question

I picked this answer because I thought the TP would have Lennon's pic on it and I could express what I thought of that piece of crap song "Imagine."
+1 raves
PurplePenguin June 12, 2009 04:41:08

Answered: All of the above
But in all honesty, I'd rather burn it for warmth.
+1 raves
DixieGirl June 12, 2009 04:24:32

Answered: Other
None. It's too good for my ass!
+3 raves
Holliegirl11 June 11, 2009 22:57:36

Answered: Other
+4 / -1 raves
Disko P... to Hollieg... June 11, 2009 23:39:10

She's far too thin. I doubt that she's very absorbent.
+2 / -1 raves
Hollieg... to Disko P... June 11, 2009 23:40:37

No she needs shit wiped on her mouth of course nothing but shit comes out of it anyway.
+6 raves
Dan June 11, 2009 20:16:24 (edited)

Answered: Other
You are ignorant, deluded, and hateful. You are, depsite your arguments, under demonic influence. Some of your demons are Hate and Denial, among several others.
May God have mercy on your black soul.
One way or another, you will know the truth one day and realize you were wrong. Hopefully that happens before you are forced to kneel before Jesus Christ on Judgment Day (right before you go to the Hell that you denied most of your life).
You ignorantly presume that you have power and authority, because you mock God and his word. Meanwhile, Satan (who knows much more than you) laughs at you and your kind, knowing you will all share his damned fate, later in eternity.
May God have mercy on your polluted soul and may you gain wisdom one day.
+3 raves
Disko P... to Dan June 11, 2009 21:20:24

Thank you.
+1 raves
Milk Ma... to Disko P... June 13, 2009 16:34:25 (edited)

...and the Lord saith unto thee, "D.P., thou briny cuke, wherefore dost thou soak in vinegar like fine Corinthian leather, and tempt your sister Jean with graven images of B.D.?"
+1 raves
Disko P... to Milk Ma... June 13, 2009 16:57:32

Uh oh. I might be in big trouble.
+1 raves
Milk Ma... to Disko P... June 13, 2009 17:22:59

Repent and be absolved from personal responsibility.
+1 raves
thewrit to Disko P... June 25, 2009 16:17:03

i love this answer.
+2 / -1 raves
tammerz/zɹǝɯɯɐʇ June 11, 2009 19:03:43

Answered: Other
I don't think I would would wipe my ass with the Bible. It defeats the purpose of wiping my ass if what I'm wiping with is already shitty.
+2 raves
fisherman June 11, 2009 18:57:49

Answered: Other
never thought of it im still using corn cobs and reading the bible when i take a shit...maybe i should read the corn cobs...and count the kernals before i flush...
+4 raves
xx *still chiki in my heart* June 11, 2009 18:19:12

Answered: Other
*Doo*teronomy.
+2 raves
822030 to xx *sti... June 11, 2009 18:56:39

LOL
Buckwheat19 June 11, 2009 14:33:32

Answered: Other
Dude, what kind of a question is this?
+3 / -1 raves
Disko P... to Buckwhe... June 11, 2009 15:53:34

Theological
+3 raves
☼ Homeward Bound ☼ June 11, 2009 13:35:51

Answered: Other
May you ALL reap what you are sowing and may God bring his judgment into your lives like a sledge hammer.......In Jesus Name.........amen.....
+2 raves
Disko P... to ☼ Homew... June 11, 2009 15:53:44

Wrong god.
+1 raves
822030 to ☼ Homew... June 11, 2009 18:57:39 (edited)

So when do you think you'll get home?
+5 / -4 raves
RhinoRT June 11, 2009 05:48:06

Answered: Other
I would prefer to use this TP
+1 raves
Velocir... to RhinoRT June 13, 2009 22:57:07

Really? I'd use this:
+3 raves
Tersa June 11, 2009 05:00:30

Answered: Other
Anything that Paul wrote.
+5 raves
karamel June 11, 2009 02:02:54

Answered: All of the above
LMAO seriously this is a funny ass question.
+4 raves
halfbreed June 11, 2009 01:51:13

Answered: Other
None. I would buy plain toilet paper. Thoue I am not a Christian and I don't put mY faith in the book I can still respect it because others do.
+1 raves
Velocir... to halfbreed June 13, 2009 22:59:59

Thanks for saying that, you are really kind.
+1 raves
Keen ToJones June 11, 2009 00:28:58

Answered: Other
Honestly, I am not religious, but wiping my rear with Bible would be a bit like playing frisbee with my Led Zeppelin disks. It ain't going to happen.
+4 raves
The Bantam Seditioner - Bla... June 10, 2009 22:04:29

Answered: Other
The one where God advises stoning as a just punishment for people who eat shellfish, wear polyester, or shave their beards.

I'm a Christian myself, but sometimes I think it was two different Gods who wrote the Old Testament and the New Testament.
+3 raves
Disko P... to The Ban... June 11, 2009 03:54:01

I'll put you down for Leviticus.

Double up-rave for you.
+1 raves
477777 June 10, 2009 21:30:05 (edited)

Answered: All of the above
Actually, I think my ass is TOO GOOD for the bible!!! But if i have to, all of it!