Apr 28, 2008 06:23AM GMT
Question
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Relationships - Gay, Lesbian, and Bisexual
Are homosexuals born gay, or is it their choice?
I have always thought that they were born this way, but in reading other polls I am seeing that many disagree. I was just curious to hear what people thought. PLEASE don't turn this into a "bash fest", that is not what this poll is for.
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raves +2 posted 5 days ago (edited)
Answered Born This WAY!!
In answer to this post I am going to share my story, though I know that some on here will disagree and probably leave nasty comments I don't care! I will not check any responses to this nor will I reply!
I was raised in a religious household, Southern Baptist to be exact not at any time did my parents teach us children about homosexuality let alone approve of it, it wasn't talked about as it was unapproved of! When girls were becoming interested in boys I was interested in girls. At 11 or 12 it wasn't a thought of having sex for me or for my friends who were into boys but just the way they made you feel all giddy! I couldn't understand why my feelings were different from my other girl friends so I tried to talk to my mother about it. She told me that I wasn't supposed to feel that way and that God would turn me around (to put things nicely)! So going into high school I kept waiting and waiting for God to fix me, but it never happened. I became so uncomfortable during gym and swimming classes because there was always the required shower afterwords, I felt so ashamed at my feelings towards other girls that I actually got my doctor to write me a note excusing me from the classes for the rest of high school! I tried talking to my mother again about this issue and she si...In answer to this post I am going to share my story, though I know that some on here will disagree and probably leave nasty comments I don't care! I will not check any responses to this nor will I reply!
I was raised in a religious household, Southern Baptist to be exact not at any time did my parents teach us children about homosexuality let alone approve of it, it wasn't talked about as it was unapproved of! When girls were becoming interested in boys I was interested in girls. At 11 or 12 it wasn't a thought of having sex for me or for my friends who were into boys but just the way they made you feel all giddy! I couldn't understand why my feelings were different from my other girl friends so I tried to talk to my mother about it. She told me that I wasn't supposed to feel that way and that God would turn me around (to put things nicely)! So going into high school I kept waiting and waiting for God to fix me, but it never happened. I became so uncomfortable during gym and swimming classes because there was always the required shower afterwords, I felt so ashamed at my feelings towards other girls that I actually got my doctor to write me a note excusing me from the classes for the rest of high school! I tried talking to my mother again about this issue and she simply said that I needed to find the right boy for me, so I dated many boys during the rest of my school years hoping that I would change and be what I was supposed to be! I wasn't a tomboy, I was a very girly girl, who loved dresses and makeup and all the things a girl likes, except for boys! I graduated high school and shortly after got married and had a child, I thought that if I got married it would show my commitment to changing to God and he would make me feel what I was supposed to and take away my feelings for women! It didn't and I was disgusted every time my husband wanted to touch me, even to kiss me! My marriage lasted for only a year and 18 months then ended in divorce. I went home to live with my parents and again tried to talk to my mother about these feelings, she told me that I had to do right by God, so feeling absolutely worthless about myself I met another man and had my second child, that relationship lasted less than a month as I couldn't stand for him to touch me either! Shortly after my second child was born I felt completely miserable as my feelings towards women were still there with me. One night I was so beside myself feeling that I was never going to do right by God that I decided to take my life and end my misery, I took a whole bottle of sleeping pills and cried and prayed begging God to end this for me, that if I couldn't live without these feelings that I didn't need to live at all! Ya know what, I don't think that was his plan because I woke up the next morning to my four year old kissing my face and telling me that he loves me, I felt better than I ever had! I met my first girlfriend shortly after that and I felt at peace with myself, and with God. My partner now, who has been with me for 10 years, has helped me to raise my (our) children and we have had more blessings in our lives than we can count! As far as it being how a child is raised and peer pressure, I think not, as both of our children were raised in a homosexual family and they are both very heterosexual but with an understanding that love is love, you don't have to agree with it but you do have to have compassion and understanding about it! For myself it was not a choice believe me if it were it would have been so much easier to conform to a heterosexual way of life!
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raves posted Nov 22, 2008 12:30AM GMT (edited)
Answered Undecided
I don't know if sexual-orientation is genetic or not. But I think that, to whatever degree it is explored or not explored, everyone or nearly everyone is basically bisexual. It's a spectrum, not an either/or, in my opinion.
But regarding the controversy about same-sex marriage and whether sexual-orientation is genetic or not, it really makes no difference. If sexual orientation is _not_ genetically determined nor influenced, then heterosexuality is as much a choice as homosexuality, and prohibiting marriage to the opposite sex makes just as much sense as prohibiting marriage to the same sex. After all, heterosexuals would still be free to marry someone of the same sex, to turn an anti-gay-marriage argument back on them.
Even if being gay is a choice or preference, then denying marriage to someone of the same sex is like denying marriage to someone who has a different arbitrary choice or preference, like someone who prefers vanilla ice cream, or someone who likes football, or to someone who choses to adopt Christianity as his or her religion.
Speaking of religion, I created a satire poll here:
Should Mormons and Christians be Prohibited from Marrying?
http://www.sodahead.com/quest... -
raves Nov 14, 2008 02:40AM GMTSlang is a weird thing, especially with Homosexuality. I have a bit of a language nerd in me, so it sucks when I realize I can't describe odd people as queer anymore, happyness as gay, nor can I refer to a bundle of sticks for firewood as a faggot. I'm losing my esoteric word to bigotry!
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raves posted Nov 13, 2008 03:32PM GMT
Answered Born This WAY!!
how can one CHOOSE to be something? Like, realy, hear this: Today Im choosing to want to be with a girl, and tomorrow I will choose to be with a guy. HUMMMMMMMMMMM???
I was married to a woman, and from the get go I told her that I was gay. She said to give a girl a chance with me, so, I did. I did love her and all, but that emotional being was loning to be with a guy, because that was and IS who I am. How can we CHOOSE our attractions??? -
raves posted Nov 10, 2008 11:51PM GMT
Answered Undecided
Well, it could be both. I mean, I have a few gay, lesbian, and bi friends. Most of them said they just decided one day that they were gay or whatever. My best friend said that she became bi, as did I. I just realized that I like boys and girls and that's just the way it is. -
raves Nov 10, 2008 11:57PM GMTWhat does that mean "God makes no mistake"? "God" is not all that good from what I've heard. I'm atheist, so I don't believe in your God, but if there was one, he/she makes mistakes all the time. Have you ever heard of Down Syndrome? No? Maybe you've heard of retardation? Maybe not. All I can say is that you have no idea what you're talking about when you say "God makes no mistake." You don't know what you're talking about unless you've met someone with one of the above defects and you've decided that it was all the parents' fault. BS. Shut up about things you don't know about. Are you gay? Are you bi? Do you really know what it means to be hated because you're not like most of the people you're forced to come in contact every single day?
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raves +2 posted Nov 02, 2008 01:59PM GMT
Answered Undecided
I don't believe they were born that way, but they may have not had a choice either. I believe it is parental input at a very young age. the majority of gays were lacking a mother or father and/or a heavy domination of male or female thought patterns. Most lesbians were raised in all female siblings. the father usually choses one as his "tomboy" whom he takes fishing, hunting, horse riding, etc, at a young age. Vice versa with all male siblings. -
raves Nov 20, 2008 12:56AM GMTI'm a lesbian who grew up with two very involved parents living in the same home, and I had an older brother.
With the level of homosexuality in nature, I have a hard time believing that there are no people that are just born homosexual. I'm not saying that I know whether I was born gay or became gay, because no one really knows, but I BELIEVE I was born this way.
Nature or nurture, I was a lesbian at a very young age. I had my first girlfriend when I was three. -
raves 5 days agoOMG...I was raised with both my mother and my father and my parents raised us in a religious home! None of us girls (as we all were girls) were ever chosen as a "tomboy" for our father! I was a prissy girl who didn't even like to get her hands dirty and my sister who was more of a "jock" is straight! So BANG there goes that theory! Also I have a friend who is the only boy, raised solely by his mother, with 6 sisters and he was the youngest who is totally STRAIGHT! Think before you speak and at least try to make some sense!
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raves +1 Oct 30, 2008 04:54PM GMTIts not genetic, but its still nature. Womb conditions have shown to cause differences in the Amygdala, making gay men's brains more like women's, and gay women's brains more like men. There is also the study that shows that men who are born later in birth order are more likely to be gay due to changes in the mothers womb. Not to mention the twin studies. There is no such thing as proof, but the evidence of gay people being born that way is overwhelming. In this situation, genetics is likely a red herring.
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raves posted Oct 29, 2008 01:20PM GMT
Answered Born This WAY!!
why would anyone choose to take on all the cr*p heaped upon homosexuals in this society? plus homosexual behavior has been demonstrated in animals (google it). certainly the path to homosexuality is very complex, evidence suggests it isn't under personal control anyway, it certainly isn't the giant "moral" failing that certain people want to claim, and those people should look after their own, ahem, affairs rather than throw the (first) stone anyway. Jesus says! -
raves posted Oct 29, 2008 01:16PM GMT
Answered Born This WAY!!
Choice is an ambiguous word here--who with their complete senses would "choose" to be scorned, ridiculed, treated unfairly or illegally? Being born brings many, many results to the human being. Too bad that acceptance for lifestyles is not one of those results. -
raves Oct 30, 2008 05:00PM GMT
Answered Born This WAY!!
It is my unmitigated opinion that people are born with their sexual preference. I don't ever recall Choosing to be hetro and I seriously doubt anyone else can either.