Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn’t stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.
i have alot
Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.
Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.
Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting infers the probability of failure.
If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris you may be only seconds away from death.
Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.
When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Chuck Norris met all three bullets with his beard, deflecting them. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement.
Chuck Norris has already been to Mars that's why there are no signs of life there.
My brother came up wit this:
Your mom is so hot... she slept with Chuck Norris!!!
Kind of lame but it was funny when he said it lol.
Then I like once there was nothing then Chuck Norris kicked nothing and told it to get a job... now there is the universe.
Chuck Norris once round house kicked a guy in the face so hard that his foot broke the speed of light, went back in time, and hit Amelia Earhart and made her crash in the pacific ocean.
There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of animals Chuck Norris allows to live.
Chuck Norris kicks major tail. I remember growing up as a kid and arguing with friends over who would win a fight (hint poll idea): "Who would win, Chuck Norris or Bruce Lee?" I always favored Chuck.
I've met him and really enjoy his company. Go Chuck!
There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of animals Chuck Norris allows to live.
Dave Letterman did this list while he was on the show and it was a riot. The funny thing is that Chuck is about 5'4" and they have always had to hide that with props and camera angles.
Comments
no my favorit is.....
Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn’t stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.no my favorit is.....
Chuck Norris crossed the road. No one has ever dared question his motives.There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of animals Chuck Norris allows to live.
lol, he's my fav yugio cardno my favorit is.....
i have alotChuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.
Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.
Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting infers the probability of failure.
If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris you may be only seconds away from death.
Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.
When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Chuck Norris met all three bullets with his beard, deflecting them. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement.
Chuck Norris has already been to Mars that's why there are no signs of life there.
no my favorit is.....
Chuck Norris doesn't use a condom because there is no such thing as protection from Chuck Norris orChuck Norris lost his virginity before his dad
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theres no life on mars because chuck norris ben thereno my favorit is.....
My brother came up wit this:Your mom is so hot... she slept with Chuck Norris!!!
Kind of lame but it was funny when he said it lol.
Then I like once there was nothing then Chuck Norris kicked nothing and told it to get a job... now there is the universe.
There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of animals Chuck Norris allows to live.
where do you guys get all this stuff? :)no my favorit is.....
no matter what your mother ever said, Chuck Norris can always tune a fish :)xx
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It has been scientifcly proven chuck norris can kick you into next monthand this is chuck norris' toliet paper
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Count from one to ten. That's how long it would take Chuck Norris to kill you...Fourty seven times.Chuck Norris knows the last digit of pi.
For Chuck Norris, every street is "one way". HIS WAY.
The best part of waking up, is not Folgers in your cup, but knowing that Chuck Norris didn't kill you in your sleep.
Chuck Norris needs a monkeywrench and a blowtorch to masturbate.
Remember The Ultimate Warrior? He quit wrestling because Chuck Norris wanted his nickname back.
Chuck Norris actually owns IBM. It was an extremely hostile takeover.
He, who laughs last, laughs best. He who laughs at Chuck Norris … dies.
Chuck Norris is like a dog, not only because he can smell fear, but because he can piss on whatever he wants.
Whoever said "only the good die young" was probably in Chuck Norris's kindergarten class.
Instead of having a cigarette after sex, Chuck Norris heads outside and brands his cattle.
Everything King Midas touches turnes to gold. Everything Chuck Norris touches turns up dead.
Chuck Norris did not "lose" his virginity, he stalked it and then destroyed it with extreme prejudice.
Chuck Norris can kick through all 6 degrees of separation, hitting anyone, anywhere, in the face, at any time.
Chuck Norris wipes his ass with chain mail and sandpaper.
Rules of ... Count from one to ten. That's how long it would take Chuck Norris to kill you...Fourty seven times.
Chuck Norris knows the last digit of pi.
For Chuck Norris, every street is "one way". HIS WAY.
The best part of waking up, is not Folgers in your cup, but knowing that Chuck Norris didn't kill you in your sleep.
Chuck Norris needs a monkeywrench and a blowtorch to masturbate.
Remember The Ultimate Warrior? He quit wrestling because Chuck Norris wanted his nickname back.
Chuck Norris actually owns IBM. It was an extremely hostile takeover.
He, who laughs last, laughs best. He who laughs at Chuck Norris … dies.
Chuck Norris is like a dog, not only because he can smell fear, but because he can piss on whatever he wants.
Whoever said "only the good die young" was probably in Chuck Norris's kindergarten class.
Instead of having a cigarette after sex, Chuck Norris heads outside and brands his cattle.
Everything King Midas touches turnes to gold. Everything Chuck Norris touches turns up dead.
Chuck Norris did not "lose" his virginity, he stalked it and then destroyed it with extreme prejudice.
Chuck Norris can kick through all 6 degrees of separation, hitting anyone, anywhere, in the face, at any time.
Chuck Norris wipes his ass with chain mail and sandpaper.
Rules of fighting: 1) Don't bring a knife to a gun fight. 2) Don't bring a gun to a Chuck Norris fight.
Chuck Norris is the only man who has, literally, beaten the odds. With his fists.
"Brokeback Mountain" is not just a movie. It's also what Chuck Norris calls the pile of dead ninjas in his front yard.
Chuck Norris has never been accused of murder for the simple fact that his roundhouse kicks are recognized world-wide as "acts of God."
Chuck Norris is not Politically Correct. He is just Correct. Always.
Chuck Norris doesn't believe in ravioli. He stuffs a live turtle with beef and smothers it in pig's blood. (more)
no my favorit is.....
If you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars, Chuck Norris has more money than you.There is no 'ctrl' button on Chuck Norris's computer. Chuck Norris is always in control.
Apple pays Chuck Norris 99 cents every time he listens to a song.
Chuck Norris can sneeze with his eyes open.
Chuck Norris can eat just one Lay's potato chip.
Chuck Norris is suing Myspace for taking the name of what he calls everything around you.
Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because he only recognizes the element of surprise.
Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.
And finally, the one i really laughed at.
Chuck Norris can beat a brick wall in a game of tennis.
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moderated...no my favorit is.....
Chuck Norris is standing behind you right now. This is the last thing you will ever read.no my favorit is.....
Chuck Norris can eat just one Lays potato chip.no my favorit is.....
Chuck Norris once round house kicked a guy in the face so hard that his foot broke the speed of light, went back in time, and hit Amelia Earhart and made her crash in the pacific ocean.no my favorit is.....
Chuck Norris' tears can cure cancer, to bad Chuck Norris doesn't cry.Why was the boogyman in the closet?
Chuck Norris was under the bed.
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Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.no my favorit is.....
Chuck Norris doesn't get wet, wet gets Chuck Norris.no my favorit is.....
Who the f--k cares!?no my favorit is.....
Chuck Norris isn't hung like a horse...a horse is hung like Chuck Norris.no my favorit is.....
Chuck Norris once ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.no my favorit is.....
moderated...chuck norris can slam a revolving door
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The quickest way to a man's heart is through Chuck Norris' fist.OR
When the boogeyman goes to sleep at night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
One more...
Chuck Norris is the reason Waldo is hiding.
Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
Probably my least favorite actor ever captured on film, but that quote is pure genius.no my favorit is.....
Three times world champ.no my favorit is.....
The only cure for cancer is in Chuck Norris's tears, but Chuck Norris never cries.no my favorit is.....
That He Stopped making Movies! ( I Hope )no my favorit is.....
Don't know much about Chuck Norris movies or TV. These are all very funny. lolno my favorit is.....
When chuck norris does push ups, he doesn't push up, he pushes the world down.There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of animals Chuck Norris allows to live.
yeah he is known for being peaceful and all... but these facts are just for fun and this is the one that i find is the funniest...Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
He is famous for NOT using violence to resolve arguements.There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of animals Chuck Norris allows to live.
Chuck Norris kicks major tail. I remember growing up as a kid and arguing with friends over who would win a fight (hint poll idea): "Who would win, Chuck Norris or Bruce Lee?" I always favored Chuck.I've met him and really enjoy his company. Go Chuck!
There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of animals Chuck Norris allows to live.
Dave Letterman did this list while he was on the show and it was a riot. The funny thing is that Chuck is about 5'4" and they have always had to hide that with props and camera angles.