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raves +1 posted Aug 20, 2008 10:25PM GMT
Answered None of the above
All of the above and then some. People just lack patients, manners, self respect and respect for others. Everything is on a time schedule, with no time to let things work themselves out (if that makes any sense)!
I believe people are more self absorbed, today. There's a lot a Paris Hilton wanna-be's, out there, whether men or women. But not having enough patients and consideration for one another is, in my opinion, the biggest cause of divorces...along with finances. But here we go again, that's because everyone wants what they want now and are not willing to have the patients it takes to earn the money to pay for it. So they put in on a credit card and buried themselves so deep in debt. Thereby, destroying their chances for a happy marriage. -
raves +1 posted Aug 20, 2008 03:44PM GMT
Answered Undecided
I think a major problem not listed here is the time spent together.
No one I know can spend all their time with someone without that someone irritating them.
In my house, it works like it should. We are friends first, but we each have our own lives. She does her hobbies, I do mine. So many of my friends dedicate every waking moment to spending it with their spouse, then can't figure out why they get so irritated with each other.
Your married, not joined at the hip! Go get some hobbies to not only help alleviate the boredom, it also will make you appreciate the time together more, instead of looking forward to getting away. -
raves posted Aug 20, 2008 02:25PM GMT
Answered None of the above
By "none of the above" I mean "None" and "all". Let me explain. We (as a culture) have bought into the Greco Roman Myth of love. The "love" that is based on how we "feel" about each other. So, when that feeling goes away we begin to do the things on your list and that makes the divide between our spouse and us grow larger until our relationship is to far out of reach to be regained. I have been married 12 years and I have to tell you; there are some mornings that I don't "feel" like loving my wife. I wake up feeling tired or cranky or just blah and I just don't feel like putting in the effort to love her (and vise versa I'm sure). However, when I realize that love is more than a feeling... it is also a choice... then I can make that choice even when I don't feel it and it is those times when I pull closer to my wife (even if I don't "feel" like it) that we grow closer and our love grows stronger. -
raves +2 posted Aug 19, 2008 10:18PM GMT
Answered Undecided
How about ALL of the above? I am on my 2nd marriage, but this one is a keeper. My 1st was a real skirt chaser. We split because I couldn't handle being faithful to somoene who wasn't being the same to me. My parents split because of lack of affection and understanding, money problems, and other haneous acts which cannot be discussed. =) -
raves posted Aug 19, 2008 05:04PM GMT
Answered None of the above
I believe most divorces are caused by a lack of openness in the beginning stages of a relationship - the wooing stage creates a false persona that drops with the vows. Marriages seem to last longer when the couple lives together before marriage, and in this decade we are seeing a huge increase in couples living together before marriage, a positive change in my opinion. -
raves +3 posted Aug 19, 2008 02:18PM GMT
Answered None of the above
At heart, I believe the problem can be traced back to communication…more importantly, the lack of it. If people make a serious effort to communicate before they ever get married about the mundane aspects of life such as money, work stress, household tasks, etc, this can help them when they run into arguments about it later. To say that you won’t fight about something is ridiculous, but couples who make an effort to communicate and agree that they are staying together and will work through problems, well, they have better luck then people who have no idea how to address their feelings. -
raves +4 posted Aug 19, 2008 01:34AM GMT
Answered None of the above
Although I think they can all play a part. But I think the majority or divorces is down to people making the decision to get married too soon, they don't give themselves enough time to really discover whether they're right for eachother. People need to spend more time just being together, and for some reason feel the need to get ready asap. -
raves posted Aug 18, 2008 01:16AM GMT
Answered cheating
with my parents that was one of the reasons, but I think they got to a point where they couldn't remember why they loved eachother and in all honestly I don't think they were right for eachother anyway.
My dad is a lot happier with my step mom and my mom is happier without my dad. -
raves +3 posted Aug 17, 2008 02:16AM GMT (edited)
Answered Undecided
All of the comments I have are really very good reasons. I think people often don't know each other long enough before they get married and with divorce being fairly convenient these days I believe many people feel that if they don't like the way things are going they can just get a divorce. We have become a disposable society. -
raves +1 posted Aug 14, 2008 05:13PM GMT
Answered money
Worrying about finances puts so much stress on a relationship that your not in the right mindset to deal with the other problems that tug at a relationship.And money is very controlling.A husband that controls the finances can literally render his wife a prisoner in her own home.And there is nothing more humiliating than to have to beg your spouse for money and to count for how you spent it. -
raves +1 posted Aug 14, 2008 12:30PM GMT
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Answered money
All of the above.. and taking your partner for granted. Have you ever noticed how most of us say please, thank you and how are you to strangers but not our spouses?