Question SodaHead

Who has the funniest quote ever!?

Airiseen November 05, 2009 04:18:50

I wanna see if you can make me laugh! (not really hard to do.)

Here's one!

75%

42 votes

Pick me! Pick me!

25%

14 votes

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  • Old School Trucker 4 days ago
    Old School Trucker

    Here's one!

    " I would never belong to a club that would have me as a member" Groucho Marx
    " I keep spending and spending, but we're still in debt" Obama
    " If you do nothing all day long...how do you know when you are done ?
    Two wrongs don't make a right...but three lefts do.
    The more I learn about women...the more I love my truck.
    I can never spot that one wierd guy that is always on the bus.
    (Said to someone yawning) ....That reminds me...I left the garage door open..
    My parents had 3 kids...one of each.
    Ready, Fire, Aim.
  • steveo November 14, 2009 19:55:00
    steveo

    Here's one!

    Some people are like slinkeys: They're really not good for anything, but they still bring a smile to your face when you push them down a flight of stairs!
  • sexikitti November 10, 2009 23:18:30
    sexikitti

    Pick me! Pick me!

    here are my favs

    Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings.

    Time is a great teacher, but unfortunately it kills all its pupils

    Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway

    Girls are like phones. We love to be held, talked too but if you press the wrong button you'll be disconnected!

    There are no stupid questions, just stupid people.

    When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep -- not screaming, like the passengers in his car.

    You laugh because I'm different...........
    I laugh cause I just farted!

    What are the three words guaranteed to humiliate men everywhere?
    'Hold my purse.'

    Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance?
  • David November 09, 2009 04:27:23
    David

    Here's one!

    "The point of war is NOT to die for your country, its to get the other dumb bastard to die for his country" -Paton

    A woman looks at churchill and states "Sir you are drunk"
    churchill looks back and says "madam i am drunk, but you are ugly, yet in the morning i will be sober"- Winston Churchill

    "If at first you dont succeed, then skydiving was clearly not for you"
  • Isidora Bonser November 09, 2009 02:35:37
    Isidora Bonser

    Pick me! Pick me!

    (User did not leave a comment)
  • Soccercb, is a Gleek :P November 09, 2009 00:35:23
    Soccercb, is a Gleek :P

    Here's one!

    This isn't the funniest ever but it was a fortune cookie I got it said: "When in doubt, mumble." and another one said: "I think you should buy more food and get another cookie."
  • liberal1793 November 09, 2009 00:12:42
    liberal1793

    Pick me! Pick me!

    sometimes i wonder why that frisbee is getting bigger then it hits me.
    frisbee bigger hits
  • ɟʇʇoɔs November 08, 2009 22:05:58
    ɟʇʇoɔs

    Here's one!

    A guy on another forum I am on by the name of Wander

    He could not open a link.

    " I couldn't get it up"
  • Keith November 08, 2009 19:13:54
    Keith

    Here's one!

  • Billie_joe_Armstong_is_smexi November 08, 2009 16:26:51
    Billie_joe_Armstong_is_smexi

    Here's one!

    "It's fun until someone gets hurt...then it's halarious."

    "I'm not gonna say anything inspirational; I'm just gonna fucking swear a lot."

    "There's nothing wrong with being a loser, it just depends on how good you are at it."

    "It's my fucking life and you know what nobody invited you...so there's the door...see ya"

    "What? You can heckle me if you want, it's okay I won't understand!" (at a foreign concert)

    "Never run in the rain with your socks on."

    "I got body lice in Gremany! I'd tell you they were crabs, but I wasn't getting laid."

    "You want a drumstick? Like a ice cream cone or a chicken wing!?"

    "Do I want to change the world with music? Well fuck yeah I want to change the world to a certain extent yeah. It needs to be changed....it needs a kick in the ass."

    -billie joe armstrong

    "Green day is like sex, when were good, were really good, when were bad . . . were still pretty damn good."

    -mike drint
  • ☆♫☮♥kitkat101*peace*♥☮♫☆® November 08, 2009 14:55:11
    ☆♫☮♥kitkat101*peace*♥☮♫☆®

    Here's one!

    your mamma's so fat that when the construction workers saw her stretched out they said "Why is there another bridge".
  • ~~~Lexus~~~ November 08, 2009 14:09:33
    ~~~Lexus~~~

    Pick me! Pick me!

    "Slinky slinky every one likes a slinky"
    "Fine we will do everything you want to do!"
    "and you look like the monoply dude"
    *Picks up dude that looks like Mr.Monopoly* "u may not pass go do not collect 100 dollars!"
    fine monoply dude picks dude monopoly pass collect 100 dollars
  • WTF, Liz. November 08, 2009 07:25:20
    WTF, Liz.

    Pick me! Pick me!

    your mom
  • BearGryllesWillOwnYou November 08, 2009 05:21:04
    BearGryllesWillOwnYou

    Here's one!

    IM GONNA RUB MY BALLS ON YOUR DRUMSET
  • SS/Agent007 November 08, 2009 04:40:11
    SS/Agent007

    Pick me! Pick me!

    Here's a couple from some of the funniest movies!

    "What's on your mind monkey butt?" from Home Alone 3

    *In a silly voice* "It's not nice to say retarded!!!"
    That one was off Kickin' It Old Skool, and if u seen it you'd probably know how it was really said. haha, funny enough???
  • Sketch Flygirl November 08, 2009 04:01:10
    Sketch Flygirl

    Here's one!

    Jack O'Neill of stargate....!!!!



    -"Perfect. If any little rocks sneak up on us, we will have plenty of warning."



    -Jackson: Hathor was the Egyptian goddess of fertility, inebriety, and music.

    O'Neill: Sex, drugs, and rock and roll?



    -"General, without meaning, this time, to sound like a smartass, are you cracked? "



    -"We came here in peace, and we expect to go in one... piece."



    rock roll -general meaning sound smartass cracked peace expect piece

    -"There's a man... He's bald and wears a short-sleeved shirt, and somehow he's very important to me. I think his name is Homer. "
  • urwutuis November 08, 2009 03:59:43
    urwutuis

    Here's one!

    "Everywhere is walking distance if you've got the time." S.Wright
  • Heartbroken November 08, 2009 01:27:42
    Heartbroken

    Pick me! Pick me!

    What is up doc?

    What is new?

    How does a car go?
  • awill192 November 08, 2009 01:10:32
    awill192

    Here's one!

    "I love lamp! I love lamp!"

  • Velanarris November 07, 2009 23:46:08
    Velanarris

    Here's one!

    "If I were your wife I'd poison your tea." - British Politician

    "Madam, If you were my wife I'd happily drink it!" -Winston Churchill
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