YOUR MOTHER WAS A HAMSTER AND YOUR FATHER SMELT LIKE ELDERBERRIES!!!
*launches cow*
Question SodaHead
Who has the funniest quote ever!?
Airiseen November 05, 2009 04:18:50
- 56 answers
- Read all 120 comments
- +9 raves
I wanna see if you can make me laugh! (not really hard to do.)
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SodaHead Hot Trends
Here's one!
" I keep spending and spending, but we're still in debt" Obama
" If you do nothing all day long...how do you know when you are done ?
Two wrongs don't make a right...but three lefts do.
The more I learn about women...the more I love my truck.
I can never spot that one wierd guy that is always on the bus.
(Said to someone yawning) ....That reminds me...I left the garage door open..
My parents had 3 kids...one of each.
Ready, Fire, Aim.
Here's one!
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Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings.
Time is a great teacher, but unfortunately it kills all its pupils
Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway
Girls are like phones. We love to be held, talked too but if you press the wrong button you'll be disconnected!
There are no stupid questions, just stupid people.
When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep -- not screaming, like the passengers in his car.
You laugh because I'm different...........
I laugh cause I just farted!
What are the three words guaranteed to humiliate men everywhere?
'Hold my purse.'
Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance?
There are no stupid questions, That's a LIE, because for every stupid question there are 5 stupid answers.
Here's one!
A woman looks at churchill and states "Sir you are drunk"
churchill looks back and says "madam i am drunk, but you are ugly, yet in the morning i will be sober"- Winston Churchill
"If at first you dont succeed, then skydiving was clearly not for you"
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Or the funny bit of 'grafitti' I saw in a Chinese restaurant restroom. Someone had scrathed one letter off of a sign. It now read, " Employees must wash hands before returning to WO K.
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Here's one!
He could not open a link.
" I couldn't get it up"
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Here's one!
"I'm not gonna say anything inspirational; I'm just gonna fucking swear a lot."
"There's nothing wrong with being a loser, it just depends on how good you are at it."
"It's my fucking life and you know what nobody invited you...so there's the door...see ya"
"What? You can heckle me if you want, it's okay I won't understand!" (at a foreign concert)
"Never run in the rain with your socks on."
"I got body lice in Gremany! I'd tell you they were crabs, but I wasn't getting laid."
"You want a drumstick? Like a ice cream cone or a chicken wing!?"
"Do I want to change the world with music? Well fuck yeah I want to change the world to a certain extent yeah. It needs to be changed....it needs a kick in the ass."
-billie joe armstrong
"Green day is like sex, when were good, were really good, when were bad . . . were still pretty damn good."
-mike drint
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"Fine we will do everything you want to do!"
"and you look like the monoply dude"
*Picks up dude that looks like Mr.Monopoly* "u may not pass go do not collect 100 dollars!"
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Here's one!
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"What's on your mind monkey butt?" from Home Alone 3
*In a silly voice* "It's not nice to say retarded!!!"
That one was off Kickin' It Old Skool, and if u seen it you'd probably know how it was really said. haha, funny enough???
Here's one!
-"Perfect. If any little rocks sneak up on us, we will have plenty of warning."
-Jackson: Hathor was the Egyptian goddess of fertility, inebriety, and music.
O'Neill: Sex, drugs, and rock and roll?
-"General, without meaning, this time, to sound like a smartass, are you cracked? "
-"We came here in peace, and we expect to go in one... piece."
-"There's a man... He's bald and wears a short-sleeved shirt, and somehow he's very important to me. I think his name is Homer. "
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What is new?
How does a car go?
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"Madam, If you were my wife I'd happily drink it!" -Winston Churchill
Here's one!