Charllze, the first thing I’m going to do is apologize to you. I realize that you were doing what you always do. Trying to help and counsel someone who is dealing with a serious problem. In this case it is a young girl with her whole life ahead of her who has found herself in a situation that could derail her life before it even gets started. She is several years away from graduating high school, yet she is about to become a single mother. The likelihood that this young woman will overcome this hurdle, and graduate high school, then finish college and embark on a meaningful career – all while raising a child single-handedly - is very low.

This girl is in a serious predicament. The father of the child is at least 50% responsible for these unfortunate circumstances. But, she is the one who will be stuck with the consequences, she is the one whose life may be changed for the worse, she is the one who may spend the next 18 years on welfare living in a trailer park. Maybe he is going to be a man about this and step up and do the right things. But, at 16 high schoolers tend not to do that. They run like the irresponsible, careless kids that they are. The most a court will do to hold this kid responsible is maybe make him contribute to the upkeep. And, how much is he going to be able to pay for the first few years? Maybe half his take home pay as a gas station attendent, and not even that if he stays in school. No, the consequences are going to be hers to bear.
The motivation for her to have used birth control, and to insist that he did so too, was much stronger for her than it was for him. I know in the current environment it is typical to say they are both equally responsible, and morally, they are. BUT, who pays the price? Her - almost exclusively the consequences are on her shoulders. He had his moment of fun, and if he chooses he can just walk! She can start looking at the rental prices of house trailers.

Yes, this is all a very grim reading of the situation, but I don’t think it is an atypical outcome. In the face of that I took your comment, the humorous statement that “Boys Are Stupid Throw Rocks at Them” as being too dismissive of her predicament; too light-hearted for the severity she's facing and, I think, too forgiving of her responsibility. That might have mis-directed her awareness of the trouble she is in; and, that led to my comment about being an "enabler", which you certainly are not!

I hope I am wrong about her future, I hope she does have a family that wants to help her and has the resources to help her. I hope I am wrong about the baby’s father. But, she should not, at this stage assume all this to be true. She needs to be more hard-headed and realistic in her assessment and planning for the future.

So, that is what crossed my mind in the two minutes between reading your humorous comment and writing my response. I was harsh and should not have addressed you that way, Charlize. Please accept my apology. I am also sorry if I upset you, Jenna.Nicole, but I tend to be straight-forward and don’t “pretty-up” things to make them more palatable.

After all I am a dumb boy, feel free to throw rocks!

Dear Squint,

I KNOW that teen pregnancy has serious consequences for the teen mother, and the child..!
I was not being only(!) lighthearted here... I just felt like I had to make her smile, after reading all this heavy(!!!) shit, and I used that pic to do it.

I know what teen pregnancy does to ones life...
Not only to the girl that is going to be a young mother, but also to the baby....
Children born to teen mothers suffer from higher rates of low birth weight, and related health problems!!!
Low birth weight raises the probabilities of infant death, blindness, deafness, chronic respiratory problems, mental retardation, mental illness, and cerebral palsy.
In addition, low birth weight doubles the chances that a child will later be diagnosed as having dyslexia, hyperactivity, or another disability.
That is why I tried to open a discussion about abortion.

As for her boyfriend, I said how I feel about him going to college, he really HAS to go.
I don't know anything about her relationship with him.
And yes.. I know that teen mom's have a hard time finishing school, I really hope she can do it, with the help from her mother and family!
I understand that the girls lose the opportunity to learn skills necessary for employment, and self-survival as adults.
And that is a sure recipe for a sad and very difficult life...
But since abortion is not an option, I really hope she can do it with alot of help from her own mom. And maybe I can kick her butt from time to time, to give her the strenght she needs to do the right stuff.

I have friends, who are in their 20s.
From what I understand, some get frustrated by the constant demands of caretaking, they do love their babies to death, but.... their adorable baby can be so demanding and sometimes irritating.
...They totally lost their freedom. So will Jenna, from the first moment her baby is born.

I do not think a young girl, fully understands the amount of care the baby needs, before it is really there...

But I can not help her, there is no turning back here.
She does not want an abortion, as I think it is the best option, a hard one.
So, I'll try, and give her all the support I can.
You know me...I AM the lighthearted friend she can talk with....
But that does not mean I do not fully understand the position she is in, Squint!
Thank you for your reply!
As for the rock throwing, never you mate! You are one of the wisest guy I have ever met!
(Excuse my spelling...)