Zombies Real, Says Harvard Psychiatrist Dr. Steven Schlozman: How would you survive a zombie invasion?
Creamy
June 12, 2009 01:01:00
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Dr. Steven Schlozman of Harvard Medical School is an assistant professor of psychiatry and avid observer of the living dead. Schlozman has written a fake medical journal article with sound medical proof as to how zombies can be a reality.
Dr. Schlozman says that zombies suffer from ANSD (Ataxic Neurodegenerative Satiety Deficiency Syndrome).
Schlozman lists five reasons why zombies act exactly as they do.
1. Zombies have only enough frontal lobe activity to be able to "sense" other zombies or humans.
2. Dr. Schlozman says zombies can only be fueled by rage. The amygdala then, is what powers zombies, just as in crocodiles. To this, Schlozman says "You can't really be mad at zombies, because that's like being mad at a crocodile."
3. Zombies also suffer from a cerebellar and basal ganglia dysfunction. Schlozman explains that this is why zombies are slow walkers and have sloppy movements.
4. Mirror neurons help humans experience emotions through other people. Zombies don't use these, which is why they are never scared or excited when they're getting shot at.
5. And why do zombies eat so much? Their ventromedial hypothalamus is broken so they never know when they've eaten enough. This why they can keep eating one human after another without stopping.
Dr. Schlozman also stated that zombies are probably constipated, since they never seem to poop; which would explain why zombies are always moaning.
Now that we know zombies are real, how do you plan on surviving the zombie invasion?
Dr. Schlozman says that zombies suffer from ANSD (Ataxic Neurodegenerative Satiety Deficiency Syndrome).
Schlozman lists five reasons why zombies act exactly as they do.
1. Zombies have only enough frontal lobe activity to be able to "sense" other zombies or humans.
2. Dr. Schlozman says zombies can only be fueled by rage. The amygdala then, is what powers zombies, just as in crocodiles. To this, Schlozman says "You can't really be mad at zombies, because that's like being mad at a crocodile."
3. Zombies also suffer from a cerebellar and basal ganglia dysfunction. Schlozman explains that this is why zombies are slow walkers and have sloppy movements.
4. Mirror neurons help humans experience emotions through other people. Zombies don't use these, which is why they are never scared or excited when they're getting shot at.
5. And why do zombies eat so much? Their ventromedial hypothalamus is broken so they never know when they've eaten enough. This why they can keep eating one human after another without stopping.
Dr. Schlozman also stated that zombies are probably constipated, since they never seem to poop; which would explain why zombies are always moaning.
Now that we know zombies are real, how do you plan on surviving the zombie invasion?
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Archer ~ The Limit Break of... June 12, 2009 01:09:09
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I also remember my dad telling me a story when i was a kid about some settlers who discoverd this island, way back in columbus' day, and on the island there was this plant that the natives ate that stoped them from feeling pain. Anyway the settlers got in to a whole war and whatever, and because they coulden't feel pain the only way you could stop them was by killing them. Thats supposed to be where the whole zombie legend came from, cause that was the name of the island or plant or something.
Has anyone else heard this story?
I also remember my dad telling me a story when i was a kid about some settlers who discoverd this island, way back in columbus' day, and on the island there was this plant that the natives ate that stoped them from feeling pain. Anyway the settlers got in to a whole war and whatever, and because they coulden't feel pain the only way you could stop them was by killing them. Thats supposed to be where the whole zombie legend came from, cause that was the name of the island or plant or something.
Has anyone else heard this story?
That or move into WalMart. They have everything.
I would call in the government. Oops They are the Zombies.
threat rand is 15 or older is retarded.
2. They feel no fear, why should you?
3. Use your head: cut off theirs.
4. Blades don’t need reloading.
5. Ideal protection = tight clothes, short hair.
6. Get up the staircase, then destroy it.
7. Get out of the car, get onto the bike.
8. Keep moving, keep low, keep quiet, keep alert!
9. No place is safe, only safer.
10. The zombie may be gone, but the threat lives on.
most lakes have an island in the middle or nearby, take a boat to the island and wait for them to walk out of the water.....like shooting ducks
Really. Make the comparison.
(ps: in # 5 instead of humans put food, makes sense doesn't it?)
These people are among us now just go to your local mall, walmart, or where ever large groups gather. They are there.