Zombies Real, Says Harvard Psychiatrist Dr. Steven Schlozman: How would you survive a zombie invasion?
Dr. Steven Schlozman of Harvard Medical School is an assistant professor of psychiatry and avid observer of the living dead. Schlozman has written a fake medical journal article with sound medical ...
Dr. Steven Schlozman of Harvard Medical School is an assistant professor of psychiatry and avid observer of the living dead. Schlozman has written a fake medical journal article with sound medical proof as to how zombies can be a reality.
Dr. Schlozman says that zombies suffer from ANSD (Ataxic Neurodegenerative Satiety Deficiency Syndrome).
Schlozman lists five reasons why zombies act exactly as they do.
1. Zombies have only enough frontal lobe activity to be able to "sense" other zombies or humans.
2. Dr. Schlozman says zombies can only be fueled by rage. The amygdala then, is what powers zombies, just as in crocodiles. To this, Schlozman says "You can't really be mad at zombies, because that's like being mad at a crocodile."
3. Zombies also suffer from a cerebellar and basal ganglia dysfunction. Schlozman explains that this is why zombies are slow walkers and have sloppy movements.
4. Mirror neurons help humans experience emotions through other people. Zombies don't use these, which is why they are never scared or excited when they're getting shot at.
5. And why do zombies eat so much? Their ventromedial hypothalamus is broken so they never know when they've eaten enough. This why they can keep eating one human after another without stopping.
Dr. Schlozman also stated that zombies are probably constipated, since they never seem to poop; which would explain why zombies are always moaning.
Now that we know zombies are real, how do you plan on surviving the zombie invasion? (more)
Dr. Schlozman says that zombies suffer from ANSD (Ataxic Neurodegenerative Satiety Deficiency Syndrome).
Schlozman lists five reasons why zombies act exactly as they do.
1. Zombies have only enough frontal lobe activity to be able to "sense" other zombies or humans.
2. Dr. Schlozman says zombies can only be fueled by rage. The amygdala then, is what powers zombies, just as in crocodiles. To this, Schlozman says "You can't really be mad at zombies, because that's like being mad at a crocodile."
3. Zombies also suffer from a cerebellar and basal ganglia dysfunction. Schlozman explains that this is why zombies are slow walkers and have sloppy movements.
4. Mirror neurons help humans experience emotions through other people. Zombies don't use these, which is why they are never scared or excited when they're getting shot at.
5. And why do zombies eat so much? Their ventromedial hypothalamus is broken so they never know when they've eaten enough. This why they can keep eating one human after another without stopping.
Dr. Schlozman also stated that zombies are probably constipated, since they never seem to poop; which would explain why zombies are always moaning.
Now that we know zombies are real, how do you plan on surviving the zombie invasion? (more)
I think Dr. Schlozman's zombie theory...
Thats interesting, i always thought zombies would come from some sort of genectic cross between a cordyceps fungus and the rabies virus.I also remember my dad telling me a story when i was a kid about some settlers who discoverd this island, way back in columbus' day, and on the island there was this plant that the natives ate that stoped them from feeling pain. Anyway the settlers got in to a whole war and whatever, and because they coulden't feel pain the only way you could stop them was by killing them. Thats supposed to be where the whole zombie legend came from, cause that was the name of the island or plant or something.
Has anyone else heard this story?
I think Dr. Schlozman's zombie theory...
Thats interesting, i always thought zombies would come from some sort of genectic cross between a cordyceps fungus and the rabies virus.I also remember my dad telling me a story when i was a kid about some settlers who discoverd this island, way back in columbus' day, and on the island there was this plant that the natives ate that stoped them from feeling pain. Anyway the settlers got in to a whole war and whatever, and because they coulden't feel pain the only way you could stop them was by killing them. Thats supposed to be where the whole zombie legend came from, cause that was the name of the island or plant or something.
Has anyone else heard this story?
I think Dr. Schlozman's zombie theory...
is fucking terrifying. I was doing just fine knowing my phobia was an impossibility. Now this.... X[ I'd probably just kill myself.That or move into WalMart. They have everything.
Dr. Schlozman's article has got me prepped. Here's how I'll survive a zombie invasion!
use bombs, and some good old fashoined shot guns. lol, oh and have a sniper rifle for some zombie head shot fun. lolI think Dr. Schlozman's zombie theory...
is just a theory if it does ever happen.. then it will be a fact also then the sci fi genre will also have to change their catagory on their zombie movies ...and hopefully all the things in the movies wil help us fight these zombs or just call rob zombie sid haig ...MilaI think Dr. Schlozman's zombie theory...
Interesting don't no if id survive thoughDr. Schlozman's article has got me prepped. Here's how I'll survive a zombie invasion!
i dont really know yet but i'll figure it out sometime! and i think that the picture for the last option is cute.Dr. Schlozman's article has got me prepped. Here's how I'll survive a zombie invasion!
But I really don`t know how I would. But I would have to have all my twilight saga stuff. http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_nLa... But I really don`t know how I would. But I would have to have all my twilight saga stuff.I think Dr. Schlozman's zombie theory...
Like him is a little flakey,and the only way to put up with a Zombie is go to the same bar and drink with him.(you to soon will act like a Zombie)Dr. Schlozman's article has got me prepped. Here's how I'll survive a zombie invasion!
this is my worst nightmare come to life i dont think i would survive i would be one of the first to goDr. Schlozman's article has got me prepped. Here's how I'll survive a zombie invasion!
First, you need a really big sledgehammer, and then WAM!!! No more zombies!I think Dr. Schlozman's zombie theory...
Unbelievable!Dr. Schlozman's article has got me prepped. Here's how I'll survive a zombie invasion!
if i was last to survive ........ HEy join them n be a zombie :DDr. Schlozman's zombie theory isn't believable. I won't be preparing for a zombie invasion...
Last night I watched my friend turn into a Zombie for real!.....It took a whole 1/5 of straight Bacardi Rum to make him transform.I think Dr. Schlozman's zombie theory...
Let me use one of my grandmother's terminology, HOG WASH!Dr. Schlozman's article has got me prepped. Here's how I'll survive a zombie invasion!
Zombies real!!I would call in the government. Oops They are the Zombies.
I think Dr. Schlozman's zombie theory...
Fun to read but not practical in real life.The closest thing to a zombie in real life is a doper.I think Dr. Schlozman's zombie theory...
Anybody who buys into this as a real zimbie / zombiethreat rand is 15 or older is retarded.
Dr. Schlozman's zombie theory isn't believable. I won't be preparing for a zombie invasion...
the doctor is playing a game with ppls heads. they're are no zombies, the doctor is probaly pulling a stunt ... I think they called suspended someting or other. I didn't bother to read the entire article because I didn't like the stunt the doctor was tryng to pullI think Dr. Schlozman's zombie theory...
Sounds like obamanites to me. Just buy enough ammo to take care of the problem. Be ready or move to Texas.Dr. Schlozman's article has got me prepped. Here's how I'll survive a zombie invasion!
1. Organize before they rise!2. They feel no fear, why should you?
3. Use your head: cut off theirs.
4. Blades don’t need reloading.
5. Ideal protection = tight clothes, short hair.
6. Get up the staircase, then destroy it.
7. Get out of the car, get onto the bike.
8. Keep moving, keep low, keep quiet, keep alert!
9. No place is safe, only safer.
10. The zombie may be gone, but the threat lives on.
most lakes have an island in the middle or nearby, take a boat to the island and wait for them to walk out of the water.....like shooting ducks
I think Dr. Schlozman's zombie theory...
... might work for someone who had a chance of surviving the zombie apocalypse, but I've already taken the quiz (http://www.oneplusyou.com/bb... and got a 24% ... there's no way I'm surviving the zombie attack! lolI think Dr. Schlozman's zombie theory...
Pretty damn funny but interesting...hmmm sounds like a good explanation to me.Dr. Schlozman's article has got me prepped. Here's how I'll survive a zombie invasion!
I think he's confusing zombies with teenagers.Really. Make the comparison.
(ps: in # 5 instead of humans put food, makes sense doesn't it?)
I think Dr. Schlozman's zombie theory...
Dr. Schlozman's article has got me prepped. Here's how I'll survive a zombie invasion!
Start training in sprinting and the marathon both. I need to be faster than all the other people so they'll get caught and eaten by the zombies first!!!Dr. Schlozman's article has got me prepped. Here's how I'll survive a zombie invasion!
i don't see why you consider this a theory.These people are among us now just go to your local mall, walmart, or where ever large groups gather. They are there.
Dr. Schlozman's article has got me prepped. Here's how I'll survive a zombie invasion!
I have my zombie kits already put together. Actually, they are my everyday survival kits, but I could use them for the zombie uprising.I think Dr. Schlozman's zombie theory...
Is hilarious and that it gave me a good laugh.I think Dr. Schlozman's zombie theory...
is the funniest thing that I have read in a while. I love that he says they are constipated.Dr. Schlozman's article has got me prepped. Here's how I'll survive a zombie invasion!
I'll lock myself in a closet and cry, until i either starve to death or get eaten lolI think Dr. Schlozman's zombie theory...
with the statement of "fake" at the beginning makes any votes irrelevant