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You don't owe it to anyone to be pretty. Should we teach this to all girls?

Shawna 2012/12/05 17:18:40
Yes, this is so true and a valuable lesson.  Explain
No, there is value in making yourself pretty.  Explain
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Diana Vreeland: "You Don't Have to Be Pretty. You don't owe prettiness
to anyone. Not to your boyfriend/spouse/partner, not to your co-workers,
especially not to random men on the street. You don't owe it to your
mother, you don't owe it to your children, you don't owe it to
civilization in general. ****Prettiness is not a rent you pay for
occupying a space marked "female"."****
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  • StormyStormStar 2013/01/12 15:02:05
    Yes, this is so true and a valuable lesson. Explain
    StormyStormStar
    +1
    That is just wrong. To not TRY to be pretty for someone? By someone, I mean yourself 1st. a). It helps you feel better about yourself. b) If you want a happier relationship if you are in one, does your partner, date, spouse, etc not deserve to see a prettier you? c) Do you not appreciate the efforts of YOUR date, partner or spouse? d) DMS 5, a medical update going on from about 1986 changed Psychology and Sociology in 1986 so that Gay men and Lesbian women should NO LONGER receive Lobotomies because of the way a Gay and Lesbian person(s) are Gay or Lesbian. A HUGE breakthrough for Manitoba Canada at least as the Last Lobotomy for people who desire same sex relationships, the update to that 1st DMS 2 at the time was made in 2008. Through major studies across the globe, it has been PROVEN that Women or Men mostly try to be their prettiest and best for THEMSELVES 1st. 1) It helps one have more confidence in oneself thus doing better at jobs, schools or even just at home. 2). It helps Women and Men, Boys and Girls instill confidence in themselves for all things least of not which is one is sick with Cancer. Trying to look their best has been proven to actually help people fight their Cancer more so than anything except loved ones, which SHOULD be reason enough. I know ...
    That is just wrong. To not TRY to be pretty for someone? By someone, I mean yourself 1st. a). It helps you feel better about yourself. b) If you want a happier relationship if you are in one, does your partner, date, spouse, etc not deserve to see a prettier you? c) Do you not appreciate the efforts of YOUR date, partner or spouse? d) DMS 5, a medical update going on from about 1986 changed Psychology and Sociology in 1986 so that Gay men and Lesbian women should NO LONGER receive Lobotomies because of the way a Gay and Lesbian person(s) are Gay or Lesbian. A HUGE breakthrough for Manitoba Canada at least as the Last Lobotomy for people who desire same sex relationships, the update to that 1st DMS 2 at the time was made in 2008. Through major studies across the globe, it has been PROVEN that Women or Men mostly try to be their prettiest and best for THEMSELVES 1st. 1) It helps one have more confidence in oneself thus doing better at jobs, schools or even just at home. 2). It helps Women and Men, Boys and Girls instill confidence in themselves for all things least of not which is one is sick with Cancer. Trying to look their best has been proven to actually help people fight their Cancer more so than anything except loved ones, which SHOULD be reason enough. I know that my Mother had gone through a small period of NOT trying to look her best. But then Cancer changed all of that for her the 2nd time she was Diagnosed with Cancer, then the 3rd and 4th times. Even this last time at age 67 , once again she was diagnosed with not just Terminal Cancer but L.E.M.S as well. She felt a lot better about herself, loved those that made every effort to help her more than before, she had a bounce in her step even though she'd had one breast half removed when she was only 24, the other breast a complete mastectomy at age 42, a complete Hysterectomy at age 43, a removal of her left lung at age 67, for only a month. I mean she JUST turned 67,, and KNEW, they told her all the cancer was gone and she was so happy, but they also told her that, `Just in case, they wanted to do a 10 day period of radiation. She really had a LOT of help then, she had been bald from previous chemo, they gave her 4 or 5 wigs she looked so pretty in, they taught her newer methods of light make up to make herself prettier without over doing it, they gave her free passes to the big Red River Ex, Horse Racing at the Assinaboin Downs, The Gold Eye`s Baseball Games, etc that she would never have done had she not felt her prettiest for the time. But the radiation brought the Cancer back 10 fold. Still, she tried to look her best through another round of Chemo, she called me our Thanks Giving Morning, October 7th 2012. She had baked, cooked with the help of my Daughters as I had Pneumonia and could not be close to her on her last round of Chemo, but she looked awesome! Glowing even. But by evening she ended up bed ridden, by night she ended up in the Hospital, when Swan River Hospital knew they kept her too long and no longer knew what to do for her, they Ambulanced her by highway to the nearest larger town of Dauphin on the 13th of October 2012, she could not be Flown here to Winnipeg missing a Lung. At 340am exactly, October 14th, she died with my Father, Eldest Daughter and Aunty Anne holding her. I lived too far away to get there in time but still, I know my eldest Daughter and my Aunty Anne made her look as best as possible, my Father got her pears, anything, because she wanted to try and eat and even to sit up, as she felt pretty in Spirit. She wasn`t ready she said. To `Go Home.` Feeling pretty at the worst time helped her try harder to live, gave her more confidence. I will be forever grateful to my eldest Daughter and Aunt Anne for trying to help her look pretty. Though it broke my Dad`s heart to see his pretty cute wife of 49 years just go like that, she`d sent everyone on a short task and she died seconds before they returned. She knew time was up. But the point is, if she had not tried she could to look pretty, she may have given up and died at least months earlier. The DMS 5 also showed that looking their best was MORE beneficial in Terminal Cancer Patients than not. Even more so than laughter! Imagine, having Cancer so bad and looking worse. Where would your fight be? Having no hair or unwashed greasy hair due to lack of energy and weakness alone would most likely defeat a lot of people, but the wigs she was given, and the light pretty make up that suited her so well, even if she needed assistance, seemed to make a big difference with her time left with us 3) School Students, looking pretty or handsome as possible gives them much needed confidence they might otherwise lack. And what husband or wife wants to go home from work day after day only to see their partner ALWAYS looking as though they are not even trying to make their partner happy? There is just so many reasons to try and look one's best and I know, as a Nurse that these facts we studied, really do work in helping so many illnesses, relationships, lowered suicide attempts, etc. And, lastly, what does it really hurt you to try and look your best even if just for yourself? It is human nature to gravitate to those that have even the tiniest thing to make them look prettier, as tiny as a beret in the hair. Gets people better jobs, etc. Even if one is but crack ugly, , one can always make oneself look better and it feels good to them. I am approaching 49 this summer, or fall depending where one lives, I try for myself and if I should happen to run across my soul mate this late in life, I will have more confidence on the impression I made as 1st impressions do matter. Don't they? When I had Cancer, it took |Doctors a long time to figure out because hey thought I looked too healthy, but I had a Hysterectomy in the morning, and by night, with the help of my friend Vera, another Nurse, we put o my usual make-up. jewelry, did my hair and she brought me the prettiest jammies and house coat ever! By mid night I was hungry, I went to the main floor to get a snack and drink from the vending machines. On the elevator back up to my room my room, my long term Family Doctor a/Specialist, friend and co-worker along with his Anesthesiologist were standing at the elevator doors. They had been looking for me as my Doctor was impatient to wait till morning to let me know that they were successful in removing all the cancer and had to look twice to know the lone 28 year old woman in the elevator. They were both so shocked at my appearance. My ex husband said I wasn't a real woman anymore when he'd popped in for 2 seconds after I woke from the 5 hour surgery was and then when I was released after only 3 days instead of 6 . He tried to get me back but no way! I returned to work with my Doctor's approval after 3 weeks. I had been on my rowing machine and was doing exercises I hadn't been supposed to do yet, that with nice cloths, a bit of make-up and I felt well enough and pretty enough to face whatever the world had to through at me including a lazy no working cheating husband who was got rid of within the following month. Now his 6th wife had a Hysterectomy. She gave up on her appearance. He is worse with her than with anyone but this woman I know, and there is no way he can shake her now. I would like to say Karma on that. It always comes when needed.weeks But on the other hand, definitely not for him, but for herself, she should try looking her best. She may not know it yet but it will help her in so many ways. She has a surprise for her up-coming Birthday, a complete pampering make over and massage as a gift from my eldest Daughter and my Daughter's Step Sister :D I can't see what I'm typing anymore so please forgive placement of words and typos, but I'm sure I got my point So in the end, I say you owe it to yourself if not anyone who has to look at you day in and day out.............................
    (more)
  • StormyS... StormyS... 2013/01/12 15:07:18
    StormyStormStar
    +1
    I meant a big resounding Yes we owe it to ourselves and whomever to look pretty, and a HUGE? NO to NOT trying. This vote is misleading if not read well enough lol!
  • StormyS... StormyS... 2013/01/12 15:12:56
    StormyStormStar
    +1
    I can't uncheck the big yes. I want to change that to the big NO. As we should teach our children it is important to look good and why it is so.....Can someone please change that for me? As you can tell from my opinion I meant NO on the vote but misread it...to early maybe? For a weekend? lol!
  • Shawna StormyS... 2013/01/13 16:58:43
    Shawna
    I don't think the idea is not to look your best, it is more about not feeling like you have to look a certain way or look the way someone else thinks you should look. You don't owe it to someone else, you make your own choices about it.
  • Nat Turner 2012/12/10 18:41:43
    Other
    Nat Turner
    +1
    You can be beautiful on the in side.
  • Shawna Nat Turner 2012/12/11 03:02:22
    Shawna
    You sure can, but I find that usually shows in the face, with a certain warmth.
  • RipVanWinkle 2012/12/09 07:49:49
    Yes, this is so true and a valuable lesson. Explain
    RipVanWinkle
    +1
    You are so wise Shawna...

    (swoon)

    You know you're skewing the demographics of SodaHead. The casual internet surfer might mistake this for a respctable site LoL!
  • Shawna RipVanW... 2012/12/09 07:58:12
    Shawna
    +2
    LOL-oh okay well then I will add that it is clearly all Bush's fault that young girls these days have a warped perspective! And we should all get some guns!
  • RipVanW... Shawna 2012/12/09 08:02:26
    RipVanWinkle
    +1
    now yer cookin' with gas!!
  • Tommy RipVanW... 2012/12/09 18:38:45
    Tommy
    +2
    Do you work on unix systems by any chance? Just a shot in the dark. Saddened to hear of Sir Patrick Moore's death (I noticed your interest in astronomy). What a guy and what a history.
  • RipVanW... Tommy 2012/12/09 19:02:36
    RipVanWinkle
    +1
    You're only the second person on SH to catch the reference in my nick!
    I used to set up and maintain Linux servers (and a few IRIX workstations) about 15 years ago... long before they were in vogue. Now I'm a lowly help desk technician pondering my career direction and choices, but I'm the only staff member who has enough experience to delve fearlessly into the guts of our AIX server LoL!

    I didn't know much about Moore, don't believe I've read any of his writings but from his bio it sounds like he will be a loss to astronomical society in general. Anybody who devotes his life to the betterment of human knowledge like he apparently has, is a hero in my book. Thanks for bringing that to my attention, I'm sure it will be discussed during our astronomy club's January meeting.
  • Tommy RipVanW... 2012/12/09 19:12:14
    Tommy
    +1
    Sir Patrick Moore and astronomy are like apple pie and ice cream. It's difficult to put into words his contribution to astronomy. He presented a TV programme here in the UK for an astonishing fifty years. I boldly venture to suggest that if you did not know much about Sir Patrick, then avoiding it will be somewhat difficult over the next weeks and months.

    I have dabbled in the use of the Unix OS and in my opinion its filing system was always far better than Microsoft's FAT32 and even NTFS.
  • RipVanW... Tommy 2012/12/09 19:40:36
    RipVanWinkle
    +1
    He may be gone, but like any famous, and even non-famous astronomers, his contributions to science will be a stepping stone to our future, and a looking glass (quite literally!) to our past. That I'm quite sure of. Having a regular tv or radio show, or even a weekly newspaper column as is the case in my town, is how knowledge is passed on to our fellow humans and our prodigy, who will hopefully turn enthusiasm into discovery. Look at me, waxing philosophical LoL!

    File systems... yup, I had hopes for NTFS, but as usual, was more hype than anything else, at least in the early years. I began using ReiserFS on my Linux machines fairly early on, but last I saw, development pretty much died off, after Hans Reiser killed his wife! Weird. The newer ext3 and ext4 file systems are what I would be looking at these days.

    BTW, I started using Linux with the Slackware 96 release... hardcore, command line, roll-yer-own kernel, and is still my go-to today.

    :^)
  • RipVanW... RipVanW... 2012/12/09 19:41:21
    RipVanWinkle
    +2
    sorry for hijacking your thread here Shawna LoL!

    :^)
  • Shawna RipVanW... 2012/12/09 20:04:26
    Shawna
    +2
    No problem at all! Tommy is a close friend of mine and I am quite fond of you too. I shall let you get away with it. Tommy is offline now, but I know he will respond to you when he comes back.
  • RipVanW... Shawna 2012/12/09 20:09:50 (edited)
    RipVanWinkle
    +2
    Thank you Shawna...
    bashful
  • Tommy RipVanW... 2012/12/09 22:06:11
    Tommy
    +2
    Yes Shawna, I am sorry too. ;-)
  • Shawna Tommy 2012/12/09 22:06:44
    Shawna
    +2
    LOL-oh I think you will have to do a little more groveling.
  • Tommy Shawna 2012/12/09 22:08:37
  • Tommy RipVanW... 2012/12/09 21:54:34
    Tommy
    +2
    I had a project at school to write a CLI command which is the equivalent of the windows recycle bin. So at your command line if you type 'can myfile' it would not be deleted but go into a folder called recycle. It was fairly tricky actually as you had to accommodate any number of leading spaces before the first character of the filename. I did it though! I liked unix. A refreshing change from Mr Gates' incarnation. I hope that you wriggle your way out of help desk support to something that is more suitable to your abilities.
  • RipVanW... Tommy 2012/12/10 00:00:34 (edited)
    RipVanWinkle
    +2
    That's cool, I never got into scripting very much. My interests and strengths leaned towards hardware and OS optimization, setting up services and network trouble shooting. My scripting skills are limited to tweaking boot scripts, and maybe the odd kernel config or snippit of source code (not like I really knew what I was doing, LoL!)
  • Tommy RipVanW... 2012/12/10 00:42:22
    Tommy
    +2
    It's a learning curve. Sadly I have forgotten a lot of it. Perhaps "grep" would be an alternative user name! lol
  • RipVanW... Tommy 2012/12/10 00:46:31
    RipVanWinkle
    +2
    cat sodahead | grep republican > /dev/null
  • Tommy RipVanW... 2012/12/10 01:57:15
    Tommy
    +2
    That's probably an appropriate destination directory!
  • RipVanW... Tommy 2012/12/10 02:24:02
  • Shawna Tommy 2012/12/10 01:33:58
    Shawna
    +2
    Good grief you two are speaking a completely foreign language!
  • Tommy Shawna 2012/12/10 01:55:15
    Tommy
    +2
    aber sicher!
  • melly~thwarting Satan since... 2012/12/09 04:42:07
    Yes, this is so true and a valuable lesson. Explain
    melly~thwarting Satan since 1971
    +3
    And people who try to tear down others' looks are ugly as hell.
  • Shawna melly~t... 2012/12/09 04:45:48
    Shawna
    +1
    I agree, Melly. How insecure you must be if you have to attack someone for his/her looks. I personally prefer character assassination.

    Love Gloria Gaynor!
  • melly~t... Shawna 2012/12/09 04:47:36
    melly~thwarting Satan since 1971
    +1
    It's one of the last refuges of a scoundrel.

    How can you not, my friend!
  • Shawna melly~t... 2012/12/09 04:49:13
    Shawna
    +2
    Interestingly, a scoundrel might also tell a woman she is beautiful.
  • AM 2012/12/08 23:35:51
  • Shawna AM 2012/12/09 04:17:03
    Shawna
    +2
    Just want to help all those poor girls who think pretty matters! ;-)
  • AM Shawna 2012/12/09 07:10:12
  • Shawna AM 2012/12/09 07:25:12
    Shawna
    +1
    LOL-go right ahead!
  • AM Shawna 2012/12/09 14:19:35
  • Brittybabeee <3 2012/12/06 05:15:06
    Yes, this is so true and a valuable lesson. Explain
    Brittybabeee <3
    +3
    It's in the media and girls are pressured into looking good, be that by buying the most expensive clothing, packing on makeup excessively, or dieting/starving themselves to lose weight. Girls become vain and the things they put themselves through is ridiculous. Any 'man' that is shallow enough to allow their girl to put themselves through this should be ashamed of themselves. I know I sometimes get depressed when the other girls around me look so much better than I do, or that I'm not pretty or skinny enough, but if people were all the same, there would be no individualism. It's just the pressure that is put on people that influence them to alter their appearance.
  • Shawna Brittyb... 2012/12/09 04:22:27
    Shawna
    +2
    You are quite right and there is so much more to a person than being pretty. Smile and you will be pretty. A real smile with warmth and compassion makes a face beautiful. Pretty doesn't last forever and then when you are old and losing it what have you got? You end up like Demi Moore having so many cosmetic surgery procedures you even get your knees done! No matter how hard you try you cannot fight aging and if the only thing you ever had to make you valuable was prettiness you will end up sad and/or pathetic.

    Yes, some people are gorgeous and look gorgeous until the end of their lives. Sure I would not complain if I were like that too. I would also like to be brilliant, wealthy and a humanitarian who makes a huge difference in the world. It's not likely I will have any of those things, but I know in my heart which I value more and so I will work on being a humanitarian. I will work on being intelligent and educated. I will work on being a good person, and I will smile and spread as much warmth and love as I can.
  • Brittyb... Shawna 2012/12/09 20:06:47
    Brittybabeee <3
    +1
    Well said. If only the rest of the world could hear that. But as long as companies are profiting, it doesn't matter what extremes they put the people through. Everything seems twisted..... o.O
  • Shawna Brittyb... 2012/12/09 20:11:55
    Shawna
    +1
    Humans seem to be hardwired to like pretty things and to see beyond that takes some wisdom. We are also very driven to sell things to others in order to promote our own success. These two things strike me as being very basic to the human character and thus very pervasive in our world.

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