Would you put your parents in a nursing home or let them live with you?

by DFA Posted 2012/06/14 00:35:58

Related Topics: Parent, parents, Home, Live

Read More

46 votes
Read all 55 opinions
View Results and Demographics + View Demographics

Loading Demographics... Click an icon to see demographic results Display unknown and private
	Put them in a nursing home.	4 votes	9%
	Let them live with you.	23 votes	50%
	Other... (comment)	19 votes	41%

Add a comment above

Conservative Citizen 2012/06/14 03:39:59

Other... (comment)

+5
Did everything we could to keep our aging Dad at home,....but found a fantastic nursing home that worked out for the best and in the end,...had become a "home" to all of us!
>> See Replies

More polls by DFA

dwayne.gretzky.98 2013/01/16 16:53:40
harley.jackman.3 2012/12/21 17:49:43
Sally Johnson 2012/06/27 14:53:50
Saye Saye 2012/06/16 13:29:01

Other... (comment)

Home health first, then nursing or rehab home depending on heealth.

reply
Funboy 2012/06/15 02:59:50

Let them live with you.

Did they put us to a foster family?

reply
Walt 2012/06/14 19:54:51

Let them live with you.

I would hate it, because neither of them are easy to get along with, but I would take care of them, whatever unpleasantness that entailed.

reply
compufreek 2012/06/14 17:54:58

Other... (comment)

+2
It depends on the level of care that is needed! If we are talking feeding them, changing them = Nursing Home. If they are healthy enough to be independent then they can live with me.

reply
~Adrien~ 2012/06/14 14:25:10

Let them live with you.

My mom has given me permission to put her in a nursing home if it comes down to it. . .but I wouldn't want to do that to those poor people. (Haha) No really, it would be a process of trial and error. I would hate to be in a nursing home, (or at least some of the ones I've been in) and I would try to take care of my folks until it became difficult.

reply
Ayushee 2012/06/14 13:28:11

Let them live with you.

They has the right to stay with their children!

reply
susan BN-0 2012/06/14 10:31:43

Other... (comment)

Both of my parents are dead,they died to young,my dad was 32 and my mom died two days before her 60th birthday.

reply
Blonde Rebellion 2012/06/14 10:28:11

Other... (comment)

+2
I'll think about it then,can't really decide about something that far in the future..

reply
JanHopkins 2012/06/14 04:54:07

Let them live with you.

+3
Mom is always welcome. When dad died she was worried that she might not be able to keep her home. I told her to pack up and move in with us. She asked what my husband thought of that and I told her he planned on giving her the biggest and best bedroom. Anytime mom!

reply
Babyradford 2012/06/14 04:38:18

Let them live with you.

+2
I have seen nursing home abuse up close and personal and it ain't pretty! Although facility care is the only option for a lot of people because caring for a loved one with mental and or extreme physical issues can be overwhelming. Personally speaking, I feel it is what I call one of my "familial responsibilities" and I refuse to allow my loved ones to b put in a facility while I have the breath in my body.

reply
Vennie to Babyrad... 2012/06/14 18:58:35

+1
I truly hope you can carry out that responsibility if it becomes an issue.

reply
Gracie - Proud Conservative 2012/06/14 03:43:17

Other... (comment)

+1
My father was in a nursing home for only about two weeks after we couldn't take care of him any longer. My mother lived with me for 12 years and lived the last year in assisted living. There comes a time when some people can't take care of their parents because they can't physically take care of them or they need more medical help. My father-in-law died almost a year ago and my mother-in-law lives by herself but her children are practically enslaved to her. My husband and I have been taking care of elderly parents for as long as we can remember and I'm not sure it's ever going to end.

reply
Conservative Citizen 2012/06/14 03:39:59

Other... (comment)

+5
Did everything we could to keep our aging Dad at home,....but found a fantastic nursing home that worked out for the best and in the end,...had become a "home" to all of us!

reply
heartsonfire 2012/06/14 03:21:44

Other... (comment)

+2
it depends although i dont really like nursing homes. t

reply
Jannis 2012/06/14 02:56:20

Other... (comment)

+1
Im not looking foward to making that choice.

reply
lolo 2012/06/14 02:48:40

Let them live with you.

+3
As long they are able. After my Mother couldn't live without 24 hour care we moved her into an assisted living home.

reply
Saye Saye to lolo 2012/06/16 13:31:02

These days ALH have become more popular & feasible.

reply
Linnster 2012/06/14 02:40:34

Other... (comment)

+3
Sometimes, as much as you might want to, you just cannot manage to keep them at home. When you work full-time and both of your parents have dementia, one of your parents has Parkinson's and is completely unable to take care of themself, when two home aides are required for round-the-clock care at a cost of $8,000 a month and then you have rent, utilities and food to pay for on top of that, none of which is covered by Medicare or Medicaid, you don't really have a choice.

reply
Vitalani 2012/06/14 02:30:07

Other... (comment)

+1
Well, "put in a nursing home" makes it seem like I would be forcing them to go there or even funding it. Honestly, when my parents are that old I foresee them shacking up in some paradise like care facility in the Florida Keys.

reply
C.C. 2012/06/14 02:29:49

Other... (comment)

+3
It depends on how much care they needed. If they needed more than I can give then I would choose a nursing home.

reply
Me 2012/06/14 02:26:55

Let them live with you.

+3
only til i cant take care of her

reply
pdarkow 2012/06/14 02:25:00

Other... (comment)

+3
It would depend on their health needs sometimes a nursing home would be better capable of handling the medical needs of an elderly person better than I could but If possible I would let mom live with me.

reply
Doreen 2012/06/14 02:15:49

Let them live with you.

I refuse to put my mother in a nursing home. If she is not capable of caring for herself in later time I will take her into my home. If she is able to make her own decisions and decides to go into a nursing home then I can not stop her but the moment she can not think well enough to make any decisions for herself I will take her out.

reply
Tentimesinfinity 2012/06/14 02:08:49

Let them live with you.

It's not like they need to (we have a villa), I'm the one who's probably going to end up living with them!

reply
Muskoka 2012/06/14 02:00:28

Let them live with you.

+2
I let my father live with me for the last 4 years of his life. It was the most difficult time I have ever spent and the most horrible experience I have ever had. He was very sick and I though it would be a great opportunity for us to get closer and bond befor his death. But it turned into a night mare of hate as he was bitter, angry and nasty. He never forgave my mother for divorcing him and he took his anger and hate for her out on me and everyone else around him.

He blamed the entire world for his life and the lack of fulfilment in it and refused to even understand that his attitude was what was making him unhappy.

He told all of us kids that he wished we had never been born. He said he would have been happier with no one at all in him life.

reply
Linnster to Muskoka 2012/06/14 02:16:08

+1
I'm so sorry this happened to you. Sometimes you think you're doing the right thing and it doesn't turn out that way.

reply
Muskoka to Linnster 2012/06/16 04:36:44

+1
No, it definitely was not. I could not have company over to the house, I could not buy my self any new clothes and was treated like a child even though I was over 50 years old at the time. It was a constant study in patients and bitting my tongue just to maintain peace every single day.

reply
Linnster to Muskoka 2012/06/16 11:34:44 (edited)

+1
I didn't have a particularly good relationship with my parents, but even if I had, there is no way I could have them come and live with me in my one-bedroom apartment. Physically, I couldn't give them the care they need and mentally - it's a struggle to spend time with them. My father is no longer able to speak and my mother has become so argumentative that there is no neutral subject. After half an hour of trying not to get into an argument, I'm ready to run out of there like my hair is on fire. It's very sad - living long is not necessarily living well.

reply
Saye Saye to Linnster 2012/06/16 13:33:55

+1
I feel your pain.

reply
Linnster to Saye Saye 2012/06/16 13:40:59

I know you understand. :)

reply
Muskoka to Linnster 2012/06/18 05:24:00

+2
I truly understand what you are saying. I should never had taken my dad in at all. I was uncertain at the time, but I was the only one willing to do it.

It was a huge mistake and totally ruined my relationship with him. It leaves bad memories and that is what I did not want,

reply
Linnster to Muskoka 2012/06/18 11:10:34

+1
I understand. Unfortunately, it can't be undone, so I guess you just have to try and remember when it was good between you - not eassy, I know.

reply
Lovita to Muskoka 2012/06/14 08:25:37

+2
Your dad was angry at your mom and never got over the divorce. He had to take his anger out on the closest ones to him: you and your siblings.
You did the best you could. Most adult children would have put their parent into a nursing home rather than go through what you did.
You're a great human being and son. I'm very proud to know you here at SH.

reply
Muskoka to Lovita 2012/06/16 04:38:16

+2
I was his daughter and it took a tremendous amount of strength to go thought the 4 years with him. He could never understand why my mother left him. But I certainly do now.

reply
Lovita to Muskoka 2012/06/16 07:31:39

I don't know how you found the strength and patience to take such good care of your dad for four years. But you did. Bless your heart.

reply
Muskoka to Lovita 2012/06/18 05:24:36

+1
Thanks. I am a very strong persona and part of that must have come from him.

reply
Lovita to Muskoka 2012/06/18 10:06:54

I really admire you so much!

reply