Would you have a problem with your young child being looked after by a male child carer?

This is a touchy subject for me because I was molested as a little girl by a family member no less who cared for me while my mom would run errands and whatever else. He happened to be a male so I grew up being very leery of even being around older males.
I can't help it, I still get a sickening feeling in my stomach when I think of male nannies or men caring for young children. Don't get me wrong, I know that not every man is automatically a paedophile. To say that would be ridiculous, just like it is ridiculous to assume that a gay man shouldn't be able to care for young boys. However, that being said, if there happened to be a male caretaker at their daycare I would see no problem with it and would assume they're qualified and have had a background check the same as anyone else. If it were a "manny" or a man who ran a home based daycare then at this point, I don't think I would feel comfortable.

I understand. Situations in a person's past influence who they are and what they think. I often have panic attacks when I enter a hospital, even if I'm just visiting someone, because of the negative associations I have with hospitals from my past. Even just that "hospital smell" can make me feel uneasy. Thanks for your comment :-)

You're welcome. :)

I watch my 3 year old niece and my 6 year old nephew, who has autism, every day and I'm pretty damn good at it. :-)

That's awesome! :-) I don't think some women give us men enough credit when it comes to this. Male child carers are often a lot more popular with the kids than the female ones too. Kids adore them!

The FACT is... men molest children at astronomically higher rates than women. You can't really say that people's reservations about males in childcare aren't understandable.

HOWEVER, if you do your homework on the people looking after your children... it shouldn't be a problem. You should never leave your children with anyone without doing a background check.

Actually, that's really only because a male is more likely to be reported than a female, even for a really innocent action. Mainly because of this unfortunate stigma. As an example: If a kid had something on his or her pants near their private area and a teacher brushed it off, a male teacher doing it would be more likely to make an onlooker automatically think something dodgy. Even if only for a split second. However if a female teacher did it it wouldn't even register to the observer.

It is just as dangerous (if not more so) to trust a teacher just because they are a woman, than to not trust a teacher just because they are a man, You're right though when you say that people should do their homework when looking into childcare.

I didn't say that people should just blindly trust all female caregivers... all I said was that people's reservations about male caregivers are understandable. Maybe you shouldn't take it so personally? Just a thought...

Well I'm sorry if I don't like discrimination. When friends of mine lose jobs for no other reason than because they are a male, I'm going to take it personally. I would be the same if someone lost a job because they were a female. I'm sorry if my hatred of discrimination offends you.

Understandable is not the same as justified.

Fair enough, I suppose. It's just a shame because male carers are extremely popular with the kids. Seems a shame to deny a child a great male role model because of this. It would be like never taking your kids for a drive because of the possibility that the car would crash.

There have been many cases here in the UK of female child carers committing acts of pedophilia against children, so I wouldn't assume a male child carer would be any more of a risk.

Absolutely!

Yes, I would be very concerned, and I would not. But then again, I never left my kids in a day care and if I did I would have checked their references more than once.

What would concern you? Just curious.

I'm not one to hire babysitters or leave my kids with anyone besides family (grandparents or their dads). You can't trust anyone.

Fair enough too.

Yes there are and you're exactly right. A background check should be done on anyone, male or female. I just wish that people didn't assume that being a male automatically means sicko.

No, you can cut the rest out.

Would you have a problem with your young child being looked after by a male child carer?

I'd need more information on the potential caregiver than that either way.

Of course. Early childcare teachers have background checks and if they don't pass they don't get the job. But you're right. Whether male or female it's good to know who you're dealing with. Thanks :-)

Tom -- if you're interested in why someone would have a problem with a man being put in charge with looking after a child, one good reason is that women are biologically designed to be nurturing. Unless they've been brainwashed or abused, it comes naturally. That's why they make good nurses as well. I've been watched after male relatives, though. Grandpas are the best!

But that would be like me having a problem with females being doctors because men are supposedly "more logical". I can't condone any kind of sexism regardless of gender. I accept that if a woman has been abused by men in her past then she may have a problem with it, and I understand in that case. But otherwise, not wanting to have your child looked after by a male for no other reason than the fact that they're a male is just not right.

Did someone decline to have you look after their child?

Not me personally, but I know people to whom it has happened. I even know of times when a mother actually pulled their child from daycare because a male teacher started at the centre.

Has some woman or women hurt you?

Yeah, but what male hasn't been hurt before? I'm not really sure what you're getting at. I'm not anti-woman, if that's what you're implying. I'm against discrimination of any kind, whether it be sexism, racism, or any other kind of ism you can think of.

I'm sure most people have been hurt before, however, I've gathered from your posts that you've been slightly more affected by someone. What I mean is that you've come off, to me, a bit frantic for validation. I don't think you're anti-woman. Just jarred a few too many times and they got to you??

I'm really unsure to what you are referring. I just don't like discrimination.

Oook, Tom. But please try to go easy on the people who disagree with you. Have a good day.

I could say so much....but I'll keep my opinions to myself :-)

no it would have to be a woman

Ok. Why is that though?

No problem. My grandson, just started swimmimg lessons, his teacher is male, apparently this doesn't bother my daughter.
Have a nice day !

Thanks for your answer, I bet your grandson thinks his teacher is awesome :-)

You are very Welcome. I think he does, too.
Have a good one !

Sorry but yes it would bug me. Not necessarily to have a guy working at a daycare but if I saw an add where the guy was offering to be my nanny I wouldn't call him. I would have to know the guy really well to be okay with it. Just a gut feeling I guess. But I have also been sexually abused by at least 5 different males in my life so throw that into the equation.

I'll take your history into account. Of course that's going to influence your opinion. I'm very sorry to hear that. Something like that must be difficult to get over.

My mom always told me to just "get over it and forgive". And now she has alzheimers lmao. Okay so maybe it helped me have the sarcasm I have today but I'm fine. I believe firmly your past makes you who you are.

Of course it does. I do still believe that blindly trusting a female caregiver could be worse than not trusting a male caregiver. Female paedophiles (and yes, they do exist) must just love it that they don't get any attention in the matter. Thanks for your comment :-)