Would you defend a clothing store customer who was belittled for her weight?

by ABCnews.com Posted 2012/03/16 14:35:07

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	Yes. No one deserves such hostile treatment.	904 votes	95%
	No. Being overweight is unhealthy and she should be shamed.	51 votes	5%

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Giantfan 2012/03/17 19:59:03

Yes. No one deserves such hostile treatment.

+4
Of course I would. There is nothing worse than rude ignorant bastards.

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RoseyRhod 2012/03/17 19:46:51

Yes. No one deserves such hostile treatment.

+4
Of course I would! And what kind of asshat thinks that anyone "should" be shamed for their weight. This store SHOULD be boycotted and driven out of business.

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4dc 2012/03/17 19:41:32

Yes. No one deserves such hostile treatment.

+5
yes

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l 2012/03/17 19:37:05

Yes. No one deserves such hostile treatment.

+5
I hope the sales person was fired!

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TheTruth1313 2012/03/17 19:32:30

No. Being overweight is unhealthy and she should be shamed.

We need to stop coddling these fatties and help lead them to healthier choices.

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4dc to TheTrut... 2012/03/17 19:40:55

+4
do we need to stop coddling gays and lesbians when they are bullied?

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TheTrut... to 4dc 2012/03/18 06:10:41

How on earth did you make that connection?!? First of all, being gay is not a health risk. Being fat is a health risk!! Next, being gay is not a choice. Staying fat, however, is a choice. So, why don't you think before the next time you utter such a stupid statement!!
Did you ever think that maybe that bit of belittling might have gotten that fatty to realize that maybe they should drop some weight and live a healthier life?

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4dc to TheTrut... 2012/03/18 13:31:06

bullying is bullying dumbass...and being gay is not a health risk??? ever hear of aids?...you are a bigot

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TheTrut... to 4dc 2012/03/19 06:11:43

Aids is a risk to straights as well as gays who ignorant, fat(?) piece of trash. As for bullying...suck it up..we all get bullied here and there in life.
Now, know your role and shut your mouth!!

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RoseyRhod to TheTrut... 2012/03/17 19:47:43

+7
I say we need to stop coddling idiots like yourself and instead tell them just how stupid they really are.

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4dc to RoseyRhod 2012/03/17 23:23:11

did that get under your skin loser?

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TheTrut... to RoseyRhod 2012/03/18 06:14:34

Nobody has to coddle me there fatty. I keep myself in good shape and maintain a healthy weight, diet and exercise regimen. Did you ever think(although, judging by your moronic statement...no, you probably don't) that maybe that bit of belittling might have gotten that fatty to realize that maybe they should drop some weight and live a healthier life?
So you keep feeding the fatties doughnuts jackass and I'll try to help them and offer them the truth.

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Michell... to TheTrut... 2012/03/18 13:54:59

You call it the truth, but I call it rude. You can encourage someone to lead a healthier life without belittling them.

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TheTrut... to Michell... 2012/03/19 06:13:32

Not always. It would be nice if this were true, but, too often, coddling is mistaken for acceptance by the behemoths. Sometimes, the truth is harsh, but, it needs to be said if you truly wish to help. I'm not rude, I just refuse to be PC.

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Michell... to TheTrut... 2012/03/20 13:59:17

There are ways of saying the same words where one is harsh and the other isn't. You don't have to coddle someone, but you don't have to be harsh with your tongue. And, there are also ways of getting your point across without using derogatory terms.

I suffer from depression and low self-esteem. I know first hand how hard it is to crawl out of the despair and self-loathing even when you know it's the right thing to do. It is a biological problem, a chemical imbalance in my brain. It is on the same level with any other disease like diabetes. I don't choose to have this issue. I don't choose to slip into depression. It happens. How I react when I notice it is what's important.

When my mom died, I withdrew from everything. I resigned from teaching my aerobics. At first I lost weight because I couldn't eat. Then, I gained weight because I sought comfort all the while knowing it wasn't good for me, but at that time it was too strong a force for me. After some time, I started exercising again and realized what I already knew - it made me feel better emotionally as well as physically. But, it's like an alcoholic. They may know it isn't good for them, but it isn't as easy as just saying "yeah, I shouldn't do that so I'm just gonna stop".

One last thing, I'm curious if you wo...

There are ways of saying the same words where one is harsh and the other isn't. You don't have to coddle someone, but you don't have to be harsh with your tongue. And, there are also ways of getting your point across without using derogatory terms.

I suffer from depression and low self-esteem. I know first hand how hard it is to crawl out of the despair and self-loathing even when you know it's the right thing to do. It is a biological problem, a chemical imbalance in my brain. It is on the same level with any other disease like diabetes. I don't choose to have this issue. I don't choose to slip into depression. It happens. How I react when I notice it is what's important.

When my mom died, I withdrew from everything. I resigned from teaching my aerobics. At first I lost weight because I couldn't eat. Then, I gained weight because I sought comfort all the while knowing it wasn't good for me, but at that time it was too strong a force for me. After some time, I started exercising again and realized what I already knew - it made me feel better emotionally as well as physically. But, it's like an alcoholic. They may know it isn't good for them, but it isn't as easy as just saying "yeah, I shouldn't do that so I'm just gonna stop".

One last thing, I'm curious if you would randomly hand out your "truth" to an over-weight person or only if someone brings up the subject with you. If someone brings up the subject with you, maybe they are looking for encouragement, support and some direction to help them. Belittling them may push them backward instead of forward. It would be better to say "hey, why don't you come to the gym with me tomorrow and I can show you some exercises" or "you know, I have some great recipes that are good for you and taste great" or "I found keeping a journal of what I ate throughout the day really helpful in identifying where I could cut out calories". If you randomly say something to someone, they aren't going to take what you have to say seriously. They are just going to think you're rude.
(more)

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TheTrut... to Michell... 2012/03/21 06:44:06

As I said, I am not PC and I stand on what I've been saying all along, it can be done, the only thing stopping one is merely excuses. If my "Being rude" motivates even one more of the fatties into working towards a more healthy life, then it was well worth it.
Oh, and just for the record, I have my bouts with depression and low self-esteem as well. I use them as best I can to motivate myself.
Also, I am very sorry for the loss of your mother.

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Michell... to TheTrut... 2012/03/21 19:45:29

+1
I feel we are going to have to just agree to disagree. I hope that in your heart you care for others and really just want to help for selfless reasons. I cannot and will not agree with your method of delivery, though.

I'm glad that you are an emotionally strong person that can overcome your difficulties. That is commendable. But, not everyone has that strength and I won't give up on those people. Nor, will I make it harder on them. I will continue to encourage them on the path toward a healthier life (be it physical, mental, or emotional) by being a friend and offering tough love (yes, firmness with caring and no derogatory words) when needed.

And, thank you for your kindness toward me about my mother. She was my hero and we were like two peas in a pod. My heart breaks that she was taken from me too soon.

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TheTrut... to Michell... 2012/03/22 08:05:53

+1
Yes, I agree to disagree too(lol). I too, believe that we both ultimately want to help. It has been a pleasure debating with you. I hope we meat again here at SH my new friend. Peace be with you.

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Giantfan to TheTrut... 2012/03/17 20:01:04

+6
They can lose weight you can't gain a personality.

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4dc to Giantfan 2012/03/17 23:23:45 (edited)

and you can't gain a brain...your not in kansas anymore toto

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Giantfan to 4dc 2012/03/18 02:20:55

Good one. LOL Who helped you think of that origional insult?

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TheTrut... to Giantfan 2012/03/18 06:17:27

Now there's a zinger(sniff sniff.....smell the sarcasm?) I'm guessing by the lame lazy remark you posted that you're a fatty too. How about you shut up and drop the weight fat boy? The Truth's personality is doing just fine.

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Giantfan to TheTrut... 2012/03/18 22:36:40

I didn't get married until I was 34. I still had a 30" waist. How many people could say that? My son's almost 6"2" tall and 163 lbs. and he has a 32 " waist. Even If I was a fattie as you say who cares. Fat doesn't run in my family. Maybe it does in yours.....

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TheTrut... to Giantfan 2012/03/19 06:18:44

Ok then, you are a hypocrite. I can already see you making your little fat jokes in private, but, your "The Great Defender of the Fatties" here in a public forum. At least I remain honest with them as well as myself.
btw, Did you ever think that maybe that bit of belittling might have gotten that fatty to realize that maybe they should drop some weight and live a healthier life?
So you keep feeding the fatties doughnuts jackass and I'll try to help them and offer them the truth.
Now can the lame replies because you simply bore me son.

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Giantfan to TheTrut... 2012/03/19 12:49:25 (edited)

+1
Let's get to the truth about me. When I was young I was very active. i ran track, lifted in the off season (winter) I played football. I played pickup games of basketball and hunted and fished was in two bowling leagues and two softball leagues. I couldn't sit still. And between all those activities i found time for part time jobs in the winter after school or on the weekend and before summer football practice. I hated lazy people but I do know many people who were as active as I was that were heavy. Linemen on the football team for example. They ran, they lifted but they were still heavy. Sometimes genes play a part in ones body makeup and other times people just are too lazy, eat too much and eat too much of the wrong foods. Heavy drinkers develope beer bellies as they say. I wish no one was lazy but some are. I wish no one was poor but some are. I wish no one was ugly but some are. I wish no one was dishonest but some are. I wish no one was mean but some are. You get the point. There will always be people we don't like how they are. It's called reality.
As for me being a hypocrite yes i am. But you know what? I don't know of any person who isn't a hypocrite on something including yourself. Humans by nature are "do as i say not as I do" types which makes everyone of us hypocrites.

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TheTrut... to Giantfan 2012/03/20 06:02:27

+1
A very nice speech and I give you points for it. However, being fat, unlike being ugly(ect), IS something that can be fixed. I'm simply saying that if the fatty isn't willing to improve, than they should deal with the consequences. However, thank you for stopping and taking the time to reply with your thoughtful post.

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Giantfan to TheTrut... 2012/03/20 12:06:12

+1
Just a response to being accused by someone of being fat and lazy.

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TheTrut... to Giantfan 2012/03/21 06:44:40

+1
I hear ya. Sorry for the snap judgement.

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robinsw... to TheTrut... 2012/03/17 22:53:07

I want to ask you one question.....do you think fat people want to be fat?

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TheTrut... to robinsw... 2012/03/18 06:26:43

It's not really a question of "want to," it's more a question of "willing to." I'm pretty sure that most fat people do not want to be fat, but, if they are not willing to do anything about it other then feel bad about themselves, then perhaps a little harsh reality might shock them into it. Did you ever think that maybe that bit of belittling might have gotten that fatty to realize that maybe they should drop some weight and live a healthier life? And, as I said in my original post, I'm would absolutely be willing to help lead a fat person to healthier choices. I have in the past and I currently do now. I'm simply trying to get the point across that coddling, instead of being honest with these people is also not going to help them. It is simply unhealthy to be fat.
Thank you for your insightful question. I'm glad that at least one of the people that responded to my post was intelligent enough to respond in such a manner as you. Not to mention the cowards that merely raved them without having the guts to respond themselves.

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robinsw... to TheTrut... 2012/03/18 20:45:47

So, do you think a little 'harsh reality' will fix things? Do you have any idea how many skinny people use that 'harsh reality'? And do you have any idea how that makes them feel? Every day fat people get a taste of 'harsh reality'. Do you have any idea how much depression causes people to gain wieght? The 'harsh reality' is not helping....it doesn't 'lead' to better eating habits.....it leads to more over eating for comfort, because they are depressed.
The problem for overweight people vary. Some are obease because they are lazy and eat too much. Yep, there are some like that, but there are also some, like me, who had injuries followed by depression followed by weight gain. Then knee surgery and then foot surgery.....(way too much metal in my body). Then I developed a thyroid condition that cumulated in surgery, for cancer.
I would suggest that the next time someone crosses your path and is fat, that you show him/her the same courtesy you would want for yourself.
Another words, try walking a mile in their shoes.

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TheTrut... to robinsw... 2012/03/19 06:23:05

I hear what your saying, but, I'm sorry, it is still just a bunch of excuses. I agree that it can be tougher for some, but, you still need to make the effort. Btw, I did not say that harsh reality is always the answer, but, that it can be an answer. Either way, please stop making excuses and get yourself back on track. You can do it, but, you have to want it.
Do not give up on yourself. OK?

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robinsw... to TheTrut... 2012/03/19 15:58:36

+1
Your arrogance is unbelievable. I was not making excuses, these are the facts and these and many other reasons cause people to be fat...or at least over weight.
Would you like to know what your attitude can do? Bulimia, anorexia, suicide. Your victims feel so ugly and hurt that they have a tendency to go to extremes to avoid the hurt you inflict. My mother committed suicide. She couldn’t lose the weight and the older she got, the more withdrawn she became.
Get off you high horse, you are a cruel person and are not helping. Try being a friend first and keep in mind something very important; judge not least ye be judged.

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TheTrut... to robinsw... 2012/03/20 06:05:21

Look. You believe what you wish and I'll believe what I know. I realize that some must work harder than others, but, giving up is a show of weakness.

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Michell... to TheTrut... 2012/03/20 14:04:49

Not everyone is strong. But, why do you seem so offended by another's "weakness" as you call it? Should you ENCOURAGE someone to lead a healthier life? Absolutely. Should you belittle them if they don't? No. Ultimately, it is their decision and it doesn't affect you.

Also, I have women who religiously attend my aerobics classes but aren't thin. Hormones, stress, glandular issues....lots of things play into it. They are doing what they can, but to the casual observer, they would think of them as "weak fatties" as you would say.

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robinsw... to Michell... 2012/03/20 14:38:59

+1
There is another reason people get fat.....finances. Cheap food is loaded with calories.

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TheTrut... to Michell... 2012/03/21 06:48:26

Some have to work harder then others. Excuses only get in the way. As far as strength goes...I knew a wheel chair bound master degree black belt. Kind of makes the excuses put forth for being obese look lame. Besides, I think you misunderstand. I'm not talking about the slightly overweight here.

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Michell... to TheTrut... 2012/03/21 19:57:52 (edited)
robinsw... to TheTrut... 2012/03/20 14:38:01

Weakness.....looks like you are the weak one. You can't stand fat people so you feel like it is your right to hurt them. That is your weakness...not theirs. You should see someone for that.

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TheTrut... to robinsw... 2012/03/21 06:49:33

You say hurt, I say motivate.

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