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Would you choose the person you love over your family ?

RUBY 2009/09/17 13:43:16
my family wants me to choose because they fear i maybe pregnant but im 21 & should have a life of my own but my family has been my life for my whole life i really don't know what to do .
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  • Psykhê 2009/09/17 13:51:25
    Psykhê
    +7
    This is not a choice that you should have to make under the circumstances (whatever they may be). I don't know the whole story so, it's tough to say.

    First, I would ask yourself "why" your family does not want him to be a part of your life or your child's life. (In my own experience, there is something to be said about the saying, "mother knows best"). I would say, "do not make the choice" and allow them to choose.

    If there is love and respect (on either side) they will ultimately have no alternative but to respect your choice and support your decision.

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  • jessica 2012/05/06 20:00:48
    jessica
    +3
    my mothers husband just said he hates all of us kids im a backstabber my mom is a whacko my brother is a lazy bum who does nbothing but sit on his rearend all day my other brother who is married and has 2 kids is also a loser and will never amount to nothing now with that being said she says she wants a divorce then a half hr later she doesnt want him to leave shes giving up her right as our mother which, my youngest brother is 16 and still lives at home, and wants to just be with him. am i thinking wrong here or is this a normal thing it hurts like hell my mom and i, i thought were very close. guess i couldnt have been more wrong im so depressed right now im sure of what to think or even how to function at the moment
  • Whathav... jessica 2012/07/07 02:46:41
    Whathaveyoudone
    +3
    I know what you are feeling... My mother threw me out when i caught her with her ex bf who used to hit on me and my sister... like make sexual comments about how nice my chest looked and how I should wear low cut shirts to work (i worked for him)... he would do horrible things to my mom not hit her but put her down a lot and be on dateng sites... and hit on other girls... I been through a lot in my life too and she was the only one for the longest time that was my only parent... and it hurts worse than anything anyone else has put me through... She lied to me the night before... when i confronted her telling her i had dreams about her seeing him ... she lied to me for a while and all she could say is "i couldn't tell you it was the moment of truth" She acts like she was the victem and she told me that her and him wouldnt date anymore but i find out she still is seeing him... when i was thrown out i had to leave a lot of my stuff and my little kitty... which i dont know if she is even taking care of.. she let the man be in my face nose touching nose screaming at me in my face and acted like he would hit me and she did nothing... and now shes still with him... I dont know what or why people are allowed to have children... honestly she never deserved to have kids.
  • thumbelina_506 2009/09/30 04:29:31
    thumbelina_506
    thats hard, but it would depend on who in my family I would be choosing, no one should have to make that kind of decision, it can take one person a lifetime to find someone they love, and then to be asked to choose between the two, thats not right

    even though its a hard decision in the end you will make the right one for you, thats the only thing you can hope for unless your family changes their mind
  • seldombites 2009/09/29 14:11:42
    seldombites
    +3
    I faced this situation when I was younger. I chose my husband. It is not easy, but there are no easy answers here. Just remember, whichever route you take, it is your life and it has to be your decision.

    {{{HUGS}}}
  • Justina 2009/09/27 14:39:33
    Justina
    +1
    I Chose Both Becuase You Can Love Both Of Them Very Much!!!!! And There Amsot The Same People....
  • Ms.Gamlieli 2009/09/23 22:49:35
    Ms.Gamlieli
    I think that it all depends on your family and how close you are to them.....I would just not make a decision and have them choose.....and you might have a baby so think about wahts going to be better for your kid and not whats better for your family or the person you love.....
  • WereWolfDude 2009/09/23 12:58:09
    WereWolfDude
    dunno if i did have to choose it would be certain deathfor me dunno choose deathfor
  • Hula girl - Friends not Fol... 2009/09/21 02:11:45
    Hula girl - Friends not Followers
    You should never have to choose. If your family loved you unconditionally they would never put in that position.

    Yes, I would choose the person I loved over family anyday. The person I love is a choice...family wasn't chosen they were just given to me. I have family that love me unconditionally so I would never be in that position.

    It's not about your past it's about your future. Look forward...not back.
  • mary07411 2009/09/21 01:23:35
  • nataly 2009/09/21 01:18:37
    nataly
    ur family should respect u and they should not make u choose ur an adult and should be able to make ur own decisions and be with who u want to be with
  • sophiesc 2009/09/20 22:19:03
    sophiesc
    not a chance boyfriends come and go you only get one family :) but then again if it was my family making me choose i would simply tell them no. if they are worthy of being called your family they should respect you and stand by you no matter what.
  • swimminggirl09 2009/09/20 21:22:52
    swimminggirl09
    i think i would choose my family just becuase you never know what the other person is going to do, they could leave you at any time, but family is always there for you.
  • VAMP FAN/TH FAN 2009/09/20 18:17:39
    VAMP FAN/TH FAN
    Depends .....
    Who and When and Why?
    In your situation i would takesome time off my family but not erase them from my life comletely
  • Eric ~ The Logician 2009/09/20 14:11:41
    Eric ~ The Logician
    +1
    Both are the same people.
  • jekisa 2009/09/20 09:22:19
    jekisa
    i love my family more than anything. i would never let someone get between them and i.
  • dingledork 2009/09/20 09:04:48
    dingledork
    Backwards conservative republicans don't have to choose because their hillbilly culture allows IN-BREEDING!
  • Annie 2009/09/20 03:06:10
    Annie
    The person I love is part of my family...!
  • ♥N A♥ 2009/09/20 02:54:18
    ♥N A♥
    If I met a wonderful man and I had a horrible family to begin with yes. In my case yes! My husband is wonderful and I have horrible familly members. I only talk to a handful of them and I have kept it that way since I got married in 2000.
  • the_old_coach 2009/09/20 01:20:24
    the_old_coach
    There is no closer family than my partner. She will always come first.
  • Polaris 1 2009/09/19 21:17:55
    Polaris 1
    Your family will always fight for you, right or wrong. Can you expect that same loyalty from the man you love? Will he be in your corner when things go wrong, or will he rush to save his own skin.
  • Soccercb 2009/09/19 20:30:14
    Soccercb
    Both, if they love you it shouldn't matter.
  • bill 2009/09/19 18:08:34
    bill
    My sister chose a guy over her family,and she moved to Brazil. Our mother died waiting for her to come home.
    Remember, we are all born with family obligations.
  • PowerPu... bill 2013/01/15 21:29:11
    PowerPuff Girl.
    +6
    How do you make your family understand? Did your family not give her any chance?
  • Rick4Ron - Paul☮2012 2009/09/19 14:11:26
    Rick4Ron - Paul☮2012
    You are an adult. You made the choice to get pregnant. Now you need to make more choices for the rest of your life... and that of your child's. Men will come and go in your life. Your family, good or bad, is forever!

    If you were ready to make your own family... you are ready to make your own decisions. It's your family now.

    When you bring a life in to the world... it's all about them.

    Good luck... you'll be OK!
  • ro 2009/09/19 13:27:56
    ro
    Nope, I'd choose both and tell them all to get over it...I don't feed into the asinine squabble game. Life's too short....and I always choose my way. Have never had a problem and everything gets reconciled in the end.
  • Infinite 2009/09/19 12:42:16
    Infinite
    Perhaps your family sees traits about this person that you don’t, I’m sure they want what’s best for you. If you choose this man, I’m sure your family will accepted you back eventually. Remember, relationships come and go, but your family is your one constant thing. They possible just want to save you from unnecessary hardships down the road. Parents have already experienced various sufferings and through the lessons they’ve learned, they just want to make sure you don’t have to learn them the hard way. Invariably most kids still do.
  • loky 2009/09/19 06:31:12
    loky
    There are many different aspects to this question. I really cant tell you what to do in your situation except whats best for your baby. I have been ask to choose between a boyfriend / husband and my children. Well the kids win every time. Always will. What kind of mom would I be if they did not. Put children first no matter who's heart you break even your own.
  • danthemango 2009/09/19 06:23:06
    danthemango
    No, well, at least not until you've been with them for a while, to make sure it's a 'attachment love', instead of a 'euphoric love'. it would suck if you're stick with someone you could fall out of love with.
  • hardhead 2009/09/19 04:33:53
    hardhead
    a lil wile ago, i would have said yes in a heartbeat, but now, i dunno, just do what you feel is right and dont have regrets...
  • kelci_a_thryce 2009/09/19 04:20:10
    kelci_a_thryce
    Depends on what is meant by "family." As adults, we stop seeing our siblings and parents as our immediate family and begin to see our children and spouse as "family." Would I choose my spouse over my kids? No. Would I choose my spouse over my mother? Yes.
  • Brunetbomb 2009/09/19 03:50:08
    Brunetbomb
    +1
    My husband would never make me pick he knows how much my family means to me. You should find out if your pregnant first and if you are your going to need the moral support from both parties. Fighting will only put stress on you and that's not good for the baby.
  • . 2009/09/19 03:28:57
    .
    The question should be..."should your family make you choose between them and who you love"?

    You should be able to love both and be loved by both even if they don't like each other...that is if they truely do love you.
  • Nature Boy: The Naked One 2009/09/19 03:19:14
    Nature Boy: The Naked One
    Can't answer with a definate answer. I'm sort of in a puppy love, but if it was real, I still wouldn't choose!
  • erdo sero 2009/09/19 02:36:33
    erdo sero
    What are they making you choose? Are they disowning you if you are pregnant? That sounds very wrong to me.
  • Andrea 2009/09/19 01:51:56
    Andrea
    Your family has been there your whole life. Think of it that way
  • Luckyliz 2009/09/19 00:56:18
    Luckyliz
    I love my family. My family will ALWAYS be there for me.
  • rightside 2009/09/19 00:50:17
    rightside
    +1
    Sometimes when they say 'love is blind' they really mean it.
    Sit down and make a list of good things about him and your family.
    Be honest.
    If you really are hooked to a loser, get out now.
  • Creeper 2009/09/19 00:49:16
    Creeper
    I think that if you're family loves you enough, they should understand and accept him. Try explaining this to them, and tell them how much you love him etc. and if they're good family, they'll get it.
    If they dont, stick with your bf (if he's the one). But I think you should be able to have both.
  • emokiddster 2009/09/19 00:06:52
    emokiddster
    well with my family yess... kk maybe no ....idk
  • divajinx 2009/09/19 00:01:09
    divajinx
    +1
    Remember the old saying: "You can pick your nose and your friends, but you can't pick your relatives"? I think it applies. Your b/f could quite easily bail on you when you need him most (if he decides fatherhood isn't really for him after all). Your family won't. They will love you unconditionally so don't toss them aside for anyone else. Let them help you decide. Talk to them, talk to them with the b/f present. If they don't like his attitude or plans then you will get their input. That should help you with your final decision. Good luck!

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