Would You Agree to a Relationship Contract?

Living 2012/05/29 19:45:32
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Last week, we gave you the scoop on Mark Zuckerberg's new bride, Priscilla Chan. But we neglected to mention that she supposedly agreed to a "relationship contract."

According to the book "The Facebook Effect," Zuckerberg, 28, agreed to spend at least 100 minutes of private time with Chan, 27, each week, as well as take her on at least one date. They also agreed to vacation for two weeks yearly overseas.

So, is making such a "deal" a good idea? A blogger for dating site howaboutwe.com thinks so, writing: "Dating an eccentric billionaire seems like it’s probably no cake-walk, but Priscilla has obviously done a good job of making sure their relationship remains a priority for the Facebook founder. 100 minutes is less than two hours, but even that can seem like a godsend when you’re dating someone who is just really, really busy."

It's unclear whether the couple agreed to this deal verbally or whether they actually signed papers. But the howaboutwe writer thinks we could all take a page out of the Facebook founder's book:

"Personally, I’m pretty pro agreements or pacts within a relationship. It could be about anything, from the frequency of sex, to the divying up of household chores, to where you spend holidays together as a couple. It may seem unromantic to mandate rules, but having a clear set of expectations for both partners makes it easy to ensure that needs are being met." Do you agree?

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  • stevegtexas@aol.com 2012/05/30 18:14:47 (edited)
  • JCLadybug 2012/05/30 18:02:58
    Maybe not a written contract...but honestly, most people have agreements. My husband and I have an agreement to go out at least once every 2 months so we can just have a date. We try to fit them in otherwise, but it doesn't always happen. We also have agreements on who does what in the house. I'm sure there are even more things we have agreed to as well, but they don't come to mind at the moment.
  • k.l.white1 2012/05/30 17:59:09
    hmm, maybe Geekberg isn't as dumb as he looks. not a bad idea
  • macy 2012/05/30 17:56:46
    If you actually care about who you're dating you'll spend time with them anyways and you won't need a stupid contract.
  • mk, Smartass Oracle 2012/05/30 17:56:38
  • Epistemically Justified -- BN7 2012/05/30 17:54:54
    Epistemically Justified -- BN7
    I think that the average couple doesn't need to codify their relationship gives and takes, but I can see why Chan and Zuckerberg may need something so.... extreme.
  • Rocky 2012/05/30 17:54:28
    You know, when I was young this stuff didn't matter. However, at this point in time maybe this is the right thing to do.
  • Howard L. Chapman 2012/05/30 17:50:54
    Howard L. Chapman
    Yeah, but be able to revoke it he they want too! Is that the same as a Prenuptial Agreement? Can't help but wonder. To me a Prenup is a coward's way of not paying his Alimony and child-support, when he actually enjoyed some of the fruits of home life. But, then some guys fall for a Bridezilla, that makes life miserable. Again this just this ole' guy's opinion.
  • Tasinahri 2012/05/30 17:48:38
    My word is my bond. It doesn't need a contract.
  • barrgg 2012/05/30 17:33:52
    Great idea. I just don't understand why anyone could vote No, that committing to at least 100 minutes dedicated time and 1 date per week is a bad thing.
  • Dan ☮ R P ☮ 2012 ☮ 2012/05/30 17:30:19 (edited)
    Dan ☮ R P ☮ 2012 ☮
    Isnt that what marriage is?

    Anyway, being verbal seems sort of common, especially if he is busy, but a contract for basic actions you take in a relationship anyway? I might as well sign a contract to say I'll replace a the roll of toilet paper in the bathroom when I finish it. And if it is a binding contract with punishments for violating it, then they are probably taking it too far.

    PS, See you at Bilderberg on Wednesday Mike. They'll be a huge crowd waiting for you and your friends.
  • ticlo7 2012/05/30 17:20:24
    Well, I wouldn't follow it to the letter, that's riduclous. But it's good to agree on some things when your dating, like trying to see the other at least once a week if they always seem to be busy (like Zuckerberg). Just lil' things tat you should try to do.
  • Ole SGT Joe 2012/05/30 17:19:09
    Ole SGT Joe
    Get to know the person you are with. Be with them for all four seasons, for several years, and you will experience most of who and what they are. Comfort brings out the truth. Then, and only then, make a decision.
  • Jackie G - Poker Playing Pa... 2012/05/30 17:17:17
    Jackie G - Poker Playing Patriot
    I do understand why the very wealthy have them however - there is real scum out there that want to marry for money and pay offs.
  • Lexi 2012/05/30 17:14:35

    My reaction to everything I just read......
  • Vanessa 2012/05/30 17:13:34
    No, I would not sign a contract. That's just ridiculous. Making agreements on spending enough time together or going on vacation twice a year is perfectly fine. But putting this down as a contract? Things don't always work out the exact same way we want them to. That's why it's life. We can say we're going to do this or that, but we never know 100% sure if it's going to work. Besides, what happened to being spontaneous? Of course writing down what we expect from a relationship can be helpful to see if we have the same idea of commitment. But putting up rules and forcing your partner to follow them is pointless. Either he/she does it naturally or they just don't. Then you aren't a match. Simple as that. Not EVERY relationship can work out. If your ideas are too different or if you have to make contracts in order to keep your relationship alive you're with the wrong person.
  • Jackie ... Vanessa 2012/05/30 17:19:00
    Jackie G - Poker Playing Patriot
    All the stuff you mentioned is window dressing, all these contracts are really about the money and distribution of same if marriage fails
  • Vanessa Jackie ... 2012/05/30 17:37:23
    This topic was talking about relationship contracts and the kind of contract Mark Zuckerberg made. That's what I answered to. I don't know what to think of marriage contracts where you decide on how you distribute money if the marriage fails. It's a law here anyway that the divorced husband has to pay for his children when they live with the mother. I think there's some law for paying the wife as well. (No I don't live in the US) But I believe in lasting marriages or at least an end in friendship. If that wouldn't work out I trusted the wrong person but no money could make up for the pain of being betrayed. Except if he was a billionaire ;) But who gets to be with one?
  • Jackie ... Vanessa 2012/05/30 18:20:16
    Jackie G - Poker Playing Patriot
    I understand but assure you the money stuff is in his contract (and all others like them) - it is in all of them, they feel they need protection. I had a neighbor who had a contract and they were not wealthy but she was his third wife and he wanted one. I dunno, I wouldn't want one but then, I am not wealthy.
    Have a great day
  • Jiorgia 2012/05/30 17:12:26
    it would of course depend on what the contract stated and who the relationship was with.
  • Mike 2012/05/30 17:06:50
    if you need a contract , then you are messing up to begin with
  • aeroshock 2012/05/30 16:45:51
    If a relationship I am in cannot work without a contract, then I would have to question the need for such relationship. It's that simple because it's obvious that things are just not working out. It would either need to be worked out or possibly the relationship would have to end.

    I feel a contract loses the "thought that counts." I'd rather do something for them because I want to, not because I have to.

    I'm not saying the contract thing doesn't work for others, but I don't think it would ever work for me.
  • chrystal97 2012/05/30 16:43:44
    This sounds like a great idea. This makes it illegal not to spend a certain amount of time together. Some billionaires marry for convenience and don't spend much time with their spouse.
  • compufreek 2012/05/30 16:35:49
    No because feelings change!!
  • Kenken 2012/05/30 16:33:16
    It sounds good on paper. And its a great idea but i just think it would end up as a tool against the other person. "you only spent 80 minutes with me last week because you were too busy so don't you even talk about taking of this weekend for it!!" it would just get really retarded
  • Ayushee 2012/05/30 16:28:49
  • kzb75 2012/05/30 16:16:32
    YES, in this day and age where nobody takes Marriage or relationships seriously, we might as well make people more accountable somehow.
  • Yuki ~ ♦Lion King of PHÆT♦ 2012/05/30 16:10:39
    Yuki ~ ♦Lion King of PHÆT♦
    It's a good idea, because as relationships go one for longer, we forget to do the important stuff. Anniversaries get forgotten. Vacations delayed. When someone's very busy, they forget to spend enough time with their S.O.
  • BIG BAD JOHN R. 2012/05/30 16:08:32
    Why not, got to protect yourself these days from a palimony law suite palimony law suite
  • White Wolf 2012/05/30 16:06:20
    White Wolf
    Not before I get married!
  • H-Dizzle 2012/05/30 16:01:09
    Is it just me....or does there seem to be a lot of references to the dating site "howaboutwe.com" all of the sudden.

    Seems like cheap advertising if you ask me, or maybe I'm the only one whose noticed. Sodahead.....hmmm.
  • All American 2012/05/30 16:00:28
    All American
    I think a pre nup would be better.
  • wtxwoman 2012/05/30 15:52:40
    That's what a marriage is, anyway, only stated very vaguely. Most women (with any sense) leaves out the 'obey' clause in the traditional vows. Personally, I think 20 years is long enough to live with any one man and that a marriage contract should be finite and be renegotiated every few years.
  • Gloria 2012/05/30 15:46:56
    If that's the way it is why bother? If someone doesn't want to spend time with me then walk the plank dude!
  • ToxicChili 2012/05/30 15:31:40
    Yes, kind of. if you live together then certain things need to be decided on before hand, i.e bills, chores, etc. Doesnt have to be written on paper.
  • kthulhu 2012/05/30 15:25:31
    but only if i was extremely busy and was straining the relationship (or if she was)
  • Kim(: 2012/05/30 15:24:56
    It actually depends
  • PapaBC 2012/05/30 15:21:42
    If you need to sign a Relationship Contract then dump the relationship.

    Prenuptial is one thing but just a relationship - HELL NO.
  • KrSpo 2012/05/30 15:12:02
    Absolutely, Actually have one with my present significant other now. After the ex-wife took me for everything, not going to allow that to happen again.
  • TrudyGirl 2012/05/30 15:10:11
    If it is something that works for both parties.

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2016/02/06 11:44:01

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