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Why dosen't the state procecute woman beaters?

My name is Michael 2012/09/19 11:12:53
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I have a friend who is beaten by her boy friend , I made a question about it recently, many times the police are involved but when she refuses to press charges that's the end of it. If this was a child the state would pick it up regardless if the parent wants to prosecute, "which it should" But Seems as though they would do the same with a spouse abuser.


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  • frank 2012/09/22 16:59:41
    I'll explain why below
    frank
    +1
    In some states when an officer is called out and they see one has been beaten, one or both could be arrested. If the victim does not press charges they will be released within 24 hr.
  • marty 2012/09/22 04:32:35
    I'll explain why below
    marty
    The victim feels: that they deserve it, that the abuser has qualities that override their abusive behavior, or they're so madly in love with them that the abuser can do no wrong.
  • The.Z.Viru5 2012/09/22 04:19:58
    I'll explain why below
    The.Z.Viru5
    Women are old enough to make their own choices. They're not baby-sitters. They can advise the women to take action, but they can't make them, bad as they may want to.
  • baboula 2012/09/21 16:33:51
    I'll explain why below
    baboula
    Each state is different - because of age majority and severity
  • mikeeonly 2012/09/21 16:29:02 (edited)
    I don't know why they don't
    mikeeonly
    what state r u in? They sure do here. Many times it's the fault of the victim not wanting to press charges or withdrawing the charges. Basic pysch.
  • My name... mikeeonly 2012/09/21 19:14:11
    My name is Michael
    yes I know many times the victim won't press charges, That's entirely what the question is about and I explained that in the question description
  • gocar 2012/09/21 00:22:37
    I'll explain why below
    gocar
    +1
    Because adults are responsible for bring charges against another person whereas a child in always considered a victim. I can remember my father telling me the story of seeing a woman being slapped around by a guy. He jumped out of his car and went o her aid and she turned on him for butting in on a fight between her and her husband.
  • Eddie 2012/09/20 01:56:43
    I don't know why they don't
    Eddie
    +1
    My state does.
  • My name... Eddie 2012/09/20 10:50:48
    My name is Michael
    I see from some of the comments different states have different ways of handling such situations. I think NY will if there are witnesses but unfortunately in most circumstances there isn't. My co-worker has told the police initially her boy friend beat her but later dropped the charges or refused to testify. It's a terrible cycle
  • Eddie My name... 2012/09/20 13:05:54
    Eddie
    +1
    It is an unfortunate element present in so many abusive relatiionship where the person being abused often feels that they in some way have brought the abuse on themselves or deserve it in some way. This often leads them to choose not to pursue the option of pressing or supporting charges against the abuser, or to all too willingly accept and believe apologies from the abusive partner. Often over and over again. Of course sometimes instances of abuse actually are one time incidences and sometimes both partners are even somewhat equally responsible for creating the circumstances surrounding the event. This does not excuse it of course. But it does happen sometimes that after both parties recognize, admit and effectively deal with the situation and the contributing factors. It actually never does re-occur. However that is a far more rare scenario than the more common ongoing cycle of violence that such an occurance signifies.
    In my state it is common for the police to charge an accused individual (male and female) independently of the victim when they feel there is sufficient evidence for them to do so. Medical facilities here routinely remit examination results collected in ER departments to authorities if they feel they have reasonable grounds for suspicion of abuse. Which the...
    It is an unfortunate element present in so many abusive relatiionship where the person being abused often feels that they in some way have brought the abuse on themselves or deserve it in some way. This often leads them to choose not to pursue the option of pressing or supporting charges against the abuser, or to all too willingly accept and believe apologies from the abusive partner. Often over and over again. Of course sometimes instances of abuse actually are one time incidences and sometimes both partners are even somewhat equally responsible for creating the circumstances surrounding the event. This does not excuse it of course. But it does happen sometimes that after both parties recognize, admit and effectively deal with the situation and the contributing factors. It actually never does re-occur. However that is a far more rare scenario than the more common ongoing cycle of violence that such an occurance signifies.
    In my state it is common for the police to charge an accused individual (male and female) independently of the victim when they feel there is sufficient evidence for them to do so. Medical facilities here routinely remit examination results collected in ER departments to authorities if they feel they have reasonable grounds for suspicion of abuse. Which the authorities can and often do pursue independently. It is a practice which is frequently condemed however as it obviously often creates an environment favorable to overzealous officials with personal axes to grind or who are basicly focused on building reputations. Often to the detriment of individuals who lack the resources to defend themselves adequately. However the practice does often rescue abuse victims from situations that they would not likely have gotten out of on their own otherwise.
    (more)
  • Gooky 2012/09/19 23:27:46
  • NYCbrit 2012/09/19 23:22:24
    I'll explain why below
    NYCbrit
    I can understand your frustration but women aren't children (not trying to be a smartass). Children have no ability to just leave an abusive situation. My mother allowed my abusive stepfather back into our home after his violence towards me finally came to light. She believed it was a singular incident. It wasn't and 3 months later he almost killed me. Thankfully the police were involved, and I had an amazing aunt to go live with.
  • Soup Man 2012/09/19 23:11:01
    I'll explain why below
    Soup Man
    Sharia law
  • Cameleon Soup Man 2012/09/20 16:03:36
    Cameleon
    There is NO sharia law in America
  • Soup Man Cameleon 2012/09/20 16:24:46
    Soup Man
    It's coming if Barry has his way
  • My name... Soup Man 2012/09/20 22:02:52
    My name is Michael
    +1
    lol,you make me laugh,
  • Cameleon Soup Man 2012/09/21 05:17:26
    Cameleon
    +1
    Keep your hate and bigotry to yourself
  • Soup Man Cameleon 2012/09/21 23:06:04
    Soup Man
    Hows that
  • gocar Soup Man 2012/09/21 00:24:37
    gocar
    +2
    Give it up will you? Does islamaphobia have to come into everything?
  • Soup Man gocar 2012/09/21 00:58:40
    Soup Man
    I see you have been overlooking liberal judges saying in some cases sharia law should be considered.
    That’s how it goes inch by inch just like socialism started.

    forsure
  • Cameleon Soup Man 2012/09/21 05:18:06
    Cameleon
    You have no idea what socialism is.
  • Vision of Verve 2012/09/19 23:09:05
  • elvira 2012/09/19 14:55:45
    I don't know why they don't
    elvira
    +1
    I really don't know why they don't. Usually in both cases women/men the reason they don't press charges is because of fear. This is what the abuser holds over his/her victim.

    Once knew a girl in your friend's predicament. She came from a large family; which included four brothers. Long story short, they took care of the problem. It was family business after all. They say two wrongs don't make a right but sometimes there is no other choice.

    Your friend really needs some serious help from a professional. She probably blames herself for what is happening to her. We both know that's not true.
  • classic 2012/09/19 14:10:11
  • Iamfree 2012/09/19 13:58:53
    I'll explain why below
    Iamfree
    +1
    I don't like it, but I understand it. We live in a free country, and if a woman chooses not to let the government prosecute her accuser, we have to permit that. If we force the issue, it's like victimizing her a second time. And the reality is that if she refuses to testify against her abuser, the state wouldn't have much of a case unless there are reliable witnesses to the abuse, which is rare. I'm so sorry for your friend. I hope you and other friends will eventually be able to convince her to let the state prosecute him before he kills her.
  • classic Iamfree 2012/09/19 14:42:11
    classic
    Some women like you say are afraid, and there is a bit of stablilty in their lives,, I had a very good friend, An affluent doctor that I had known for years,,Taught his kids In 4-H and spent time with him and his family.. He beat his wife to death,, After it all came out it had been going on for years,, she was afraid to get out, Her friends kept quiet about the situation at her request... He later commited suicide, leaving two teenaged children... If she had only gotten out...
  • Iamfree classic 2012/09/19 15:00:01
    Iamfree
    How very sad for her and her children and friends. I'm sure those friends beat themselves up for not doing more, but the reality is that unless the woman is willing to take action, there is little the people who love her can do but be there to pick up the pieces. So sorry about your friend :(
  • Fran-Halen 2012/09/19 13:47:33
    I don't know why they don't
    Fran-Halen
    +1
    Mn. would haul the offender in and prosecute him , whether the woman pressed charges or not.
  • Professor Wizard 2012/09/19 13:43:32
    I'll explain why below
    Professor Wizard
    +1
    If it is adults - and nobody is dead.. the state will require the victim to press charges, and witness in court. Charges are dropped if the Victim will do neither.

    The stated itself, acts in the behalf of a child, or mentally challenged person.

    And... The vast majority of women in abusive relationships will not press charges against their mate. Mostly because the fear their mate will leave them if they do. Which makes no sense to people who are not in an abusive relationship.
  • Elyse 2012/09/19 12:44:26
    I'll explain why below
    Elyse
    Probably the same reason that they don't punish female man beaters?
  • My name... Elyse 2012/09/19 14:37:49 (edited)
    My name is Michael
    I know that happens too, reason I used women is because I referenced a friend who is being abused
  • sky blue pink - American 2012/09/19 12:28:34
    I'll explain why below
    sky blue pink - American
    +1
    Depends on the State, I guess.
    I use to have a boyfriend, that got off on beating on me. I pressed charges,in the end he got a years probation. Had I dropped charges against him then the State would have picked the case up and he would have done time. Had I known about that little piece of information, I would have dropped charges.
    Get in touch with the Judicial System in your area and start asking questions.
    Good luck to you both.
  • YesME 2012/09/19 12:20:19
    I don't know why they don't
    YesME
    +1
    What about women who beat up men? That is RARELY discussed and more prevalent than you might think.

    women beating up on men
  • My name... YesME 2012/09/19 14:39:39
    My name is Michael
    Yes that happens, but this situation is with a woman I know and that's why I used "woman" in my question
  • YesME My name... 2012/09/19 22:14:49
    YesME
    If a man beats a woman once, without some type of immediate family and friends intervention, he will probably do it again. Your friend has problems you are not going to solve. The only positive resolution is to gain understanding why she is allowing the abuse. She should relinquish custody of children if there are any until she is capable of keeping herself and them safe. The only thing you can do is intervene with a plan for aftercare, or provide a caring ear for her to vent.
  • L1 2012/09/19 12:17:51
    I'll explain why below
    L1
    +1
    Because when women who are beaten report the abuse are in fear of their lives for either themselves or other loved ones ( such as children)....

    It is a very real fear....
  • Ferηαηdσ [Clinton2016] 2012/09/19 11:51:53
    I'll explain why below
    Ferηαηdσ [Clinton2016]
    +2
    They do in most cases when it is reported by the abused woman. The problem is that a common characteristic of anyone in an abusive relationship is that many of them have low self esteem and they repeatedly defend or go back to the abuser. It's a sad cycle and it's why many of them end up dead. It's a huge obsticle for these women out of fear to go seek help from the police or anyone else.
  • Ray the Dog! 2012/09/19 11:49:17
    I don't know why they don't
    Ray the Dog!
    +2
    I have a sister who used to be married to a rat who used to beat her up. Thankfully,she has been divorced from him for many years now. She was the same: she always refused to press charges against him. One night he went far too far and beat her up so badly that she ended up in hospital-still refusing to admit it was the reptile that was her husband who had done it to her.
    As it happened, at the time i was home on leave from the army and got to know about it-
    not from my sister who knew what I was like and knew exactly what would happen-but from my Mother.
    Let's just say when HE finally got out of hospital he NEVER EVER laid a finger on my dear sister during the short time they continued to live together after that...
  • Iamfree Ray the... 2012/09/19 14:03:05
    Iamfree
    +1
    Good for you! Unfortunately, my sister-in-law would not allow my husband to touch her wretched husband. Not that he didn't try, but he would have had to hurt her in order to get to him. Fortunately, she woke up one morning with the realization that he was going to kill her and she got out before he could. Had my husband been able to find him then, he would probably be a dead man, but he disappeared.
  • Ray the... Iamfree 2012/09/19 14:09:52
    Ray the Dog!
    Probably just as well,then, for your hubby. It would have been a great shame for a decent man to go to jail for a rat-such as your brother-in-law obviously was.
    The only reason MY then brother-in-law kept HIS trap shut about what I had done to him was quite simply that he knew that with the background i had come from that much, much worse would have come to him if he hadn't.

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