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Why do guys promise to not hurt you and then they hurt you by leaving you? and they use the old excuse of its not you its me or the im not ready to date yet???? Then why do they ask you out in the first place????

Elena 2009/10/07 13:02:43
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  • Xx~DuStiN~xX 2009/10/07 13:12:45
    Xx~DuStiN~xX
    +7
    well you have just run in to the wrong guys. trust me there are a hand few of us guys out there that mean what we say and say what we mean. i being one of them have only ever hurt one girl..... thats cause she cheated and expected me to stay with her. all the other girls have left me and jus became friends. except for the sweetheart i have now. lol but yeah most but not all guys are jus ...jerks and thats putting it nice.

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  • Cloudburst 2009/10/07 15:49:06
    Cloudburst
    It's not only guys. It's a human thing. However, guys probably do it more often because they're not as 'in touch' with their emotions. They can be just as confused as the next person.
    Many guys don't know that 'leaving' can be a form of pain.
    'it's not you, it's me' - is true!!!! if they don't want to hang out with you it's their problem NOT YOURS.
    The best part about a relationship ending is that you have the choice to learn about your mistakes and his mistakes. AND if you can't be friends after, DON'T! There are a gazillion other people out there with whom you can connect.

    now...would i have believed my own words a few months ago? NO, because pain/grief over lost love is no laughing matter when it's so new.
  • Milk Maid 2009/10/07 14:00:58
    Milk Maid
    I have been told many times "I'm not like the other guys" and they end up just like the rest :(
  • Elena Milk Maid 2009/10/07 14:13:33
    Elena
    +1
    yeah i know how it is my boyfriend broke up with me this morning saying its not you its me and im not ready for a relationship and then he asks me if we can be best friends......
  • Milk Maid Elena 2009/10/07 14:16:40
    Milk Maid
    Men don't know what they want...get use to it....just guard your heart and take care of yourself...your needs first....some say there is someone out there for each of us...guess we'll have to wait and see.
  • RamblingVoices. 2009/10/07 13:31:21
    RamblingVoices.
    because its not you it IS them
  • Captain Sticky 2009/10/07 13:18:13
    Captain Sticky
    Congratulations for learning a basic fact of life. Men are swine, and women aren't much better.

    Younger folks are very selfish and personal gratification is high on their list of priorities. With that philosophy of life, there are bound to be casualties.

    Of course, that's a generalization. There's lotsa fine folks of both genders out there. The trick is finding them.
  • Elena 2009/10/07 13:16:57
    Elena
    thank you all for your comments! you have helped me out! :)
  • emmamess ~ In My Conscience... 2009/10/07 13:16:39
    emmamess ~ In My Conscience I Trust ~`
    to get laid. quit letting em victimize you - either “give” with no expectations (and yes it still hurts if they leave) or hold off until ya know someone really well. Don't expect promises they're usually only words anyway. If he leaves ya after you have given freely - your less apt to hate yourself - but you still may genuinely miss him.
  • mzemma 2009/10/07 13:15:08
    mzemma
    +1
    learn to love yourself...would you want to sign a contract promising some guy that you will hang around forever.. I don't think so. There may be many ups and downs in your life where love is concerned...and remember the sparks do fad after a while; so does the hurt! Life is an exciting adventure and we all learn from it. We all get dumped from time to time..sometimes many times.. it's all part of the learning of life.. Keep an open mind. Meditate .. get into YOU. Be active: Walk, run, do yoga etc., Exercise is the key to warding off depression and sadness... and your reward will be good health, happiness, confidence besides looking hot and buffed!
  • Richie 2009/10/07 13:14:05
    Richie
    they like to play the field plus ---they are still wet behind the ears!!!!
  • Treasure ♥ijm♥ 2009/10/07 13:13:43
    Treasure ♥ijm♥
    Great question....I would love to know the answer, as well.
  • Xx~DuStiN~xX 2009/10/07 13:12:45
    Xx~DuStiN~xX
    +7
    well you have just run in to the wrong guys. trust me there are a hand few of us guys out there that mean what we say and say what we mean. i being one of them have only ever hurt one girl..... thats cause she cheated and expected me to stay with her. all the other girls have left me and jus became friends. except for the sweetheart i have now. lol but yeah most but not all guys are jus ...jerks and thats putting it nice.
  • Tutboy (oYo) 2009/10/07 13:11:17
    Tutboy (oYo)
    +1
    i remember, as a baby, having the recording "it's not you, it's me" played over and over again in my crib
  • Gina 2009/10/07 13:07:28
    Gina
    i really do not know soz
    I'm not a guy and i don't understand the guy mind lol
  • Elena Gina 2009/10/07 13:10:23
    Elena
    thanks for responding. do you know what to do when that happens?
  • Gina Elena 2009/10/07 13:13:25
    Gina
    never had it happen to me

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