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Which is a better solution?

Vicereine Killbride 2012/08/21 06:14:52
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In this situation, what would you do?

A man whants to pass on his genes but his wife is sterile. And he loves her, so divorce isn't an option.
I suggested adoption, but another SH user insisted on a second wife.
So I suggested in vitro fertilization, but they said a second wife would be more appropriate. What do you think?
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Top Opinion

  • VampFreak13 2012/08/21 08:54:33
    Other
    VampFreak13
    +4
    IVF won't work for them if she is sterile...they could use a donor egg and his sperm with a surrogate to carry it...but only if his wife's uterus is not viable to carry it safely...that way he can carry on his bloodline and still have his happy marriage... :)

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Opinions

  • Jorge Enriquez 2012/09/17 20:29:04
    In vitro fertilization.
    Jorge Enriquez
    +1
    or just adopt!!
  • Gia 2012/08/23 19:47:38
    Other
    Gia
    +1
    Actually the second 2 are good ideas. But if you want to carry on your own family genes then in vitro fertilization is a good choice.
  • METALheadMom 2012/08/23 08:15:05
    Other
    METALheadMom
    +1
    He needs to see a psychiatrist and find out why he feels he NEEDS to "pass on his genes" - is that really going to matter to anyone 100 years from now?
  • Vicerei... METALhe... 2012/08/23 08:26:18
    Vicereine Killbride
    Good point.
  • Raithere 2012/08/22 03:53:00
    Forget genes, just adopt.
    Raithere
    +1
    Adopt... there are lots of perfectly wonderful children already out there who don't have parents. You don't need to make your own. You're not that special.
  • shrfu31 2012/08/21 22:14:20 (edited)
    In vitro fertilization.
    shrfu31
    +1
    Why is she sterile? Is it for any reason other than lack of egg production? If she is getting a period then in vitro fertilization could be a viable way of passing on both of their genes. They would just need to possibly find a surrogate to carry the baby to term. (sorta hard)

    If she is sterile from not producing eggs, then that is actually somewhat good news. It is much easier to find an egg donor than a surrogate womb (and cheaper). (best case?)

    I would highly recommend against getting a second wife. That seems ridiculous for all types of accounts. This isn't the middle ages where women (and their feelings) are disposable in the face of creating an heir. Plus there are all types of legal hurdles to cross (is polygamy allowed in his country/state?) and liabilities to consider (spousal support?)

    Lastly, adoption is not a viable means to pass on one's genes so, I could not recommend that.

    PS. As a geneticist, I would be completely remiss to mention, that there is very little information on the Y chromosome. So if he has a boy, it will most likely carry the vast majority of his mother's traits. If he has a girl, then at least the possibility of similarity in phenotypical expression being higher is greater.

    So, if he wants a boy, then I would ask him to pay much closer attention to the mother's traits. There is a much higher risk of him turning out like her than him.
  • Yuki ~ ♦Lion King of PHÆT♦ 2012/08/21 21:49:01
    Other
    Yuki ~ ♦Lion King of PHÆT♦
    +1
    It depends on what the couple feels is best.
  • blah 2012/08/21 19:43:35
    Other
    blah
    +1
    sperm bank. pass on your genes to some1 els and adopt your own kid whats the diff? :p
  • La 2012/08/21 11:35:34
    Other
    La
    +1
    Surrogate mother :)
  • Demoness 2012/08/21 10:50:55
    Other
    Demoness
    +2
    Surrogate mother using the mans sperm..
  • stevmackey 2012/08/21 10:09:05
    Forget genes, just adopt.
    stevmackey
    +2
    There are plenty parent less children that would welcome a loving home. I raised two myself.
  • VampFreak13 2012/08/21 08:54:33
    Other
    VampFreak13
    +4
    IVF won't work for them if she is sterile...they could use a donor egg and his sperm with a surrogate to carry it...but only if his wife's uterus is not viable to carry it safely...that way he can carry on his bloodline and still have his happy marriage... :)
  • Vicerei... VampFre... 2012/08/21 18:26:23
    Vicereine Killbride
    That's what I meant.
  • MlssCue =Go Blue= 2012/08/21 08:45:20
    Other
    MlssCue =Go Blue=
    +1
    What does SHE want to do as far as a child?
  • VampFre... MlssCue... 2012/08/21 09:00:24
    VampFreak13
    +2
    If she loves him as much as he seems to love her she will most likely want a child... :)
  • MlssCue... VampFre... 2012/08/21 09:03:28
    MlssCue =Go Blue=
    I'm not convinced he loves her that much.
  • VampFre... MlssCue... 2012/08/21 09:06:49
    VampFreak13
    +1
    I don't know either way...I can only base my opinion on the details...but if he is not willing to take a second wife I can only ASSUME he loves her...that is the problem when faced with a very small sampling of the situation...but out of curiosity...why do you say that?... :)
  • MlssCue... VampFre... 2012/08/21 09:11:08
    MlssCue =Go Blue=
    If he loved her as he says he wouldn't even consider a 2nd wife and he would be discussing this with her to find out how she feels. To me it seems to be all about him, which is why I asked what she wants. Just my instinct.
  • VampFre... MlssCue... 2012/08/21 09:15:54
    VampFreak13
    +1
    You make a good point...but not playing devil's advocate...what if he loves her and she really wants and can't have children...what if he wants to go to her with options and not hurt her...men are not always sure how do deal with women on this kind of a personal level...you might be right and have perfect instincts...but I worked for a fertility doctor for a while...and when you see the turmoil people go through to have a child you start to see how important it is to them...regardless of their reason... :)
  • MlssCue... VampFre... 2012/08/21 09:32:39
    MlssCue =Go Blue=
    +1
    I have a best friend & a niece who can't have children, so I'm aware of the turmoil. I do not know, not my problem but hope he finds one that works for both of them.
  • VampFre... MlssCue... 2012/08/21 10:16:01
    VampFreak13
    +1
    I am sorry about your friend and niece...I completely agree with you... :)
  • MlssCue... VampFre... 2012/08/21 10:20:09
    MlssCue =Go Blue=
    Thank you :-)
  • cuzzbuzzla 2012/08/21 07:52:06
    Other
    cuzzbuzzla
    +2
    Adopt or surrogate mom if dad really wants his own genes passed on.
  • wtxwoman 2012/08/21 07:51:30
    Other
    wtxwoman
    +2
    A egg doner.
  • 7 minutes ago... 2012/08/21 06:28:16
    Other
    7 minutes ago...
    +1
    If I knew what even half of those words meant I'm sure I could find a solution >=|
  • Vicerei... 7 minut... 2012/08/21 06:30:08
    Vicereine Killbride
    +1
    Let me put it this way. Have you seen American Dad?
  • 7 minut... Vicerei... 2012/08/21 06:58:30
    7 minutes ago...
    I only watch it all the time
  • Vicerei... 7 minut... 2012/08/21 18:24:55
    Vicereine Killbride
    +1
    Well in vitro fertilization is what Greg and Terry did with Francine, so they could have their child.
  • 7 minut... Vicerei... 2012/08/21 18:29:42
    7 minutes ago...
    Oh, so she carried their baby....sorta?
  • Vicerei... 7 minut... 2012/08/21 18:50:30
    Vicereine Killbride
    +1
    Yeah. Don't you think that's better than having a second wife? And just having a surrogate mother.
  • 7 minut... Vicerei... 2012/08/21 22:33:21
    7 minutes ago...
    +1
    Seems cheaper too
  • ☆stillthe12c☆ 2012/08/21 06:21:04
    In vitro fertilization.
    ☆stillthe12c☆
    +2
    I would not even think of a second wife.
  • Vicerei... ☆stillt... 2012/08/21 06:23:02
    Vicereine Killbride
    +1
    That's what I thought.
  • VampFre... ☆stillt... 2012/08/21 08:56:14 (edited)
    VampFreak13
    +1
    IVF won't work with a sterile woman...she can't produce the egg to fertilize...especially if she is one of the women who goes through menopause young... :)
  • ☆stillt... VampFre... 2012/08/21 16:21:05
    ☆stillthe12c☆
    +1
    They often use eggs from others. That was what I was thinking about.
  • VampFre... ☆stillt... 2012/08/21 18:15:41
    VampFreak13
    +1
    I did mention that in an earlier post...donor egg & sperm & surrogate... :)
  • Vicerei... VampFre... 2012/08/21 18:25:43
    Vicereine Killbride
    That's what I meant by IVF.
  • VampFre... Vicerei... 2012/08/21 21:16:13
    VampFreak13
    +1
    That actually falls more under the artificial insemination as opposed to IVF... :)
  • ☆stillt... VampFre... 2012/08/21 19:32:56
    ☆stillthe12c☆
    Did not see it thank You
  • VampFre... ☆stillt... 2012/08/21 21:16:59
    VampFreak13
    +1
    Not a problem...sometimes there are way to many comments to catch them all... :)

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