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Which abuse is worst?

Sister Jean 2013/01/07 18:16:27
Related Topics: Physical, Worst
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  • Jan Haskell 2013/01/07 18:36:17
    Undecided
    Jan Haskell
    +11
    They are both horrid. It's difficult to completely separate the two .... physical abuse causes mental trauma, and mental abuse can cause physical illness.

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  • waterlady 2013/02/02 05:34:40
    physical
    waterlady
    Both, mental injures your brain just as bad as a punch. Physical can kill you.
  • pammie 2013/01/26 15:17:20
    mentally
    pammie
    U just can't come out of mental abuse
  • JustMe 2013/01/20 15:54:52
    mentally
    JustMe
    +1
    Bruises and welts fade, and physical pain goes away. Mental attacks and words are still just as sharp and painful years after
  • emilynrio 2013/01/20 11:53:12
    mentally
    emilynrio
    +1
    if they're mentally abused its basically carving hell on the brain because victims are usually scarred in some way for life. One of my friends know someone who was raped and she won't even let her father touch her.
    At least with physical abuse victims are usually healed. They're both extremely horrible to go through though.
  • Frannin 2013/01/16 19:33:59
    Undecided
    Frannin
    +1
    ANY abuse is the worst abuse to the person being abused. Whatever makes us think
    it is okay to abuse another...be it a person or an animal? If abusers only knew that one
    of the hallmarks of an abuser is cowardliness, they might think twice as they shrink from
    the definition of "coward."
  • lucky 2013/01/16 15:01:22 (edited)
    Undecided
    lucky
    +1
    Both, they are in many ways the one in the same, physically abusing someone leaves mental scars also, mentally abusing someone can cause that person physical harm in the way of illness caused by the stress they are under during the abuse.

    Also if someone is being physically abused, they are also being mentally abused. In that situation there isnt one without the other.
  • Haole 2013/01/16 11:53:18
    mentally
    Haole
    +1
    i think the ultimate goal of most physiscal abuse IS mental abuse. The physical abuse is merely a means by which to enforce ultimate dominance over the victim in order to affect psychological deconstruction. Mental abuse can be invisible and incidious and often the victim succumbs to it seemingly of their own volition, but often it is imposed and enforced by the use of physical abuse.
  • sazz 2013/01/16 10:24:46
    Undecided
    sazz
    +1
    both can be worst depends on how bad they got abused
  • Drebi 2013/01/16 09:12:41
    Undecided
    Drebi
    +1
    Both psychological and physical cause wounds, and thus leave scars (for the survivors). I've experienced both, and thus far, the psychological was worse for me, but that isn't true of everyone. Both cause harm, and in some cases lead to death. So, I can't say with all certainty one way or the other. It's probably about the same.
  • Nam Era Vet #1 DNA TLC 2013/01/16 05:02:23
    Undecided
    Nam Era Vet #1 DNA TLC
    I dislike abusers with a passion
  • Jack's Pearl 2013/01/16 04:54:56
    mentally
    Jack's Pearl
    +1
    I think the mental stuff sticks more with people. If it get's to your psyche it's so much harder to heal.
  • anne.k.murphy 2013/01/16 04:54:00
    mentally
    anne.k.murphy
    With physical abuse, the signs are obvious, and often an intervention to stop the abuse occurs. Mental/verbal abuse is worse since it can go on for a lifetime because the signs are not so obvious, even to family and close friends. An expert mental abuser not only can make you think that YOU are the one who has something wrong with YOU, he can make others think that YOU are the one in the wrong too. A mental abuser can come across as charming and the life of the party to everyone else, and since you never show *physical* signs of abuse, even your own family members may question YOUR judgment about the abuse and the abuser to your face.

    A mental abuser likes to give backhanded compliments that sound good to others. Mine liked to call me "Super Mom" when our daughter was an infant, and he refused to help with her. Super Mom was not a compliment. It was his way of putting 100% of all child rearing duties on me (you can count on one hand the number of diapers he ever changed). I knew that was why he called me that, but to everyone else there was something "wrong" with me for disliking that nickname.

    A mental abuser likes to play head games with you until you live in a distorted reality. Mine liked to continually reinforce to me how something "bad" would surely happen to my daug...



    With physical abuse, the signs are obvious, and often an intervention to stop the abuse occurs. Mental/verbal abuse is worse since it can go on for a lifetime because the signs are not so obvious, even to family and close friends. An expert mental abuser not only can make you think that YOU are the one who has something wrong with YOU, he can make others think that YOU are the one in the wrong too. A mental abuser can come across as charming and the life of the party to everyone else, and since you never show *physical* signs of abuse, even your own family members may question YOUR judgment about the abuse and the abuser to your face.

    A mental abuser likes to give backhanded compliments that sound good to others. Mine liked to call me "Super Mom" when our daughter was an infant, and he refused to help with her. Super Mom was not a compliment. It was his way of putting 100% of all child rearing duties on me (you can count on one hand the number of diapers he ever changed). I knew that was why he called me that, but to everyone else there was something "wrong" with me for disliking that nickname.

    A mental abuser likes to play head games with you until you live in a distorted reality. Mine liked to continually reinforce to me how something "bad" would surely happen to my daughter and me if we were out after dark unless we were with him, so I got to the point where I just stopped going out anywhere after dark for fear of that something "bad" happening. The sun went down, and I went home. No movies, no restaurants, no mall, no grocery shopping even. I definitely liked summer better than winter when I lived with him!

    A mental abuser always leaves you feeling threatened that something worse is to come (mine liked to threaten to get his gun), so you always walk around on eggshells just *waiting* for it. I used to beg my ex to hit me just to get that threat over with. He never would; he'd just escalate the verbal warfare.

    Mental abusers aren't just parents or significant others. They can be anyone, anywhere who constantly makes you somehow feel less than worthy, through their words and/or their actions. Friends, coworkers, siblings, even children can engage in mental abuse.
    (more)
  • shaboogie 2013/01/16 04:02:38
    Undecided
    shaboogie
    +1
    Both are about equal.
  • Samantha Green 2013/01/15 17:01:33
    Undecided
    Samantha Green
    +1
    Both are hell to go throw but I think they are both about the same
  • elvira 2013/01/15 14:30:47
    Undecided
    elvira
    +1
    They are both horrible!!!
  • zebsmom 2013/01/14 20:59:26
    mentally
    zebsmom
    +2
    At least with physical abuse, you have a potential support system. At least sort of. With emotional abuse, no one believes you. The one inflicting all the pain is usually "such a great guy/gal." While they slowly and systematically destroy your entire psyche as well as destroy your entire life and support system.
    Same can be said about physical abusers too, but at least you can show the bruises if you chose to do so.
  • elijahin24 2013/01/14 20:49:28
    mentally
    elijahin24
    +1
    Broken bones can be set, and will grow back together. Cuts will heal. But the scars on your mind are eternal. The lucky among us learn to live with them; but we never fully heal.
  • Esmer 2013/01/14 14:17:48
    mentally
    Esmer
    +1
    Physical always heals but mentally never does.
  • MissAshley 2013/01/14 13:58:03
    Undecided
    MissAshley
    +1
    Both are bad news
  • sglmom 2013/01/14 06:10:23
    Undecided
    sglmom
    +2
    Physical, Mental, Verbal, Financial, Emotional, Sexual ..
    all of this is and can be ABUSIVE ..
    (and you can fall under multiple categories of abuse too in an ABUSIVE Relationship)

    Quite frankly ..

    any abuse is WRONG ..
    and I stand against it ..
  • MARIDOTS 2013/01/14 03:44:14
    Undecided
    MARIDOTS
    +1
    I'm not undecided but it was the only answer I could put there. I've been a victim of both kinds of abuse in 2 marriages.. hence my single status now. My first husband liked to beat on me and intimidate me, but my second one not only physically abused me but mentally abused me as well. If it came to it I'd rather have an ass whippin because those bruises go away where the mental damage never goes away. Its a sick person who doles out either. And I was sick for staying in both marriages as long as I did.. I just kept thinking things would change, they never do, so if any of yas are in an abusive relationship, get out, it won't get any better. I wasted 28 years between the two men.. I'm sorry for every day of it except for my kids being a product of each marraige. Thats the only good part of either of them. And now you know the rest of the story. ;)
  • Kimberley MARIDOTS 2013/01/14 09:51:59
    Kimberley
    It makes me sick, sick to my stomach and beyond to see how men can abuse women mentally and physically, especially mentally and feel proud of it. I have been in abusive relationships myself so I am very well acquainted with all the damage that ensues from such entanglements. These diabolical and damaging situations can go on for years (its a vicious cycle) and it takes years and years of therapy and just leaning on good friends for a woman to get past and move on with their lives.....
  • MARIDOTS Kimberley 2013/01/16 06:48:00
    MARIDOTS
    +1
    you're absolutely right. I had the battered woman syndrome so bad, took me years of introspection to figure out that it wasn't my issue, it was theirs. My issue was that I stayed with both of the idiots and wouldn't face it that they wouldn't change for me. I just kept thinking surely they'd come to their senses. I needed to come to mine and realize that nothing would change until I changed. The bad thing is I didn't get out before the psychological damage was done to my daughter. The cycle continued with her. She's had enough therapy to put a stop to it in her life.
  • Kimberley MARIDOTS 2013/01/17 19:33:52
    Kimberley
    I'm so glad! :) I'm glad your daughter could eradicate those self-destructing thoughts from her mind. Let's stop the vicious cycle!
  • Ɛ>NinjaGirl<3 2013/01/14 02:32:26
    Undecided
    Ɛ>NinjaGirl<3
    +3
    Both leave scars, both scars take a long time to heal. Both are pretty bad.
  • Fally GM 2013/01/14 02:21:02
    physical
    Fally GM
    +1
    cuz you can deal with mental abuse..physical abuse also creates mental violence..
  • Tylisha Gourdine 2013/01/14 02:13:34
    mentally
    Tylisha Gourdine
    +3
    Mental abuse is harder to recover from and it's not as obvious as physical abuse.
  • Gryffindor53 2013/01/14 01:44:55
    mentally
    Gryffindor53
    +3
    Both leave scars, but the mental ones tend to last longer.
  • Bonita Colley 2013/01/14 01:40:35
    Undecided
    Bonita Colley
    +2
    Both scar you deeply! I have faced both in my life before my hubby now.
  • Nichole 2013/01/14 00:46:22
    mentally
    Nichole
    +2
    Both are bad, but the physical body can heal, often much easier than one's mental health can.
  • jule-sy 2013/01/14 00:29:40
    physical
    jule-sy
    +1
    Both actually.
  • John 2013/01/13 23:57:18
    Undecided
    John
    +1
    Either one leaves a broken person.
  • Kozmo 2013/01/13 23:13:47
    Undecided
    Kozmo
    +1
    Philosophical to decide which is worse
  • LadyMorgana696 2013/01/13 23:02:54
    mentally
    LadyMorgana696
    +2
    always
  • me 2013/01/13 20:54:41
    Undecided
    me
    +2
    Neither is "worse" simply because of the nature of it. Is one instance of being beat up worse than years of mental abuse? Who can say?

    Abuse is Abuse and both are destructive.
  • Drageona 2013/01/13 20:39:01
    Undecided
    Drageona
    +2
    I went through both and still having nightmares.
  • Jon the Flamer 2013/01/13 20:08:35
    mentally
    Jon the Flamer
    +2
    Bruises will go away and scars can heal, but you'll never forget the day your mom threatens to send you to a psychiatric hospital and then threaten to lie and tell them you're a pathological liar despite being one of the most brutally honest people she knows.

    I can take physical abuse, but the psychological trauma is what takes some time to deal with. I still have trust issues because of it.
  • juicebox07 2013/01/13 20:01:04
    Undecided
    juicebox07
    +1
    They are equally bad.
  • viola 2013/01/13 19:52:43
    Undecided
    viola
    +2
    both are terrible!
  • Karlheinz 2013/01/13 19:52:35
    mentally
    Karlheinz
    +2
    mentally is badder , can lead to constant flashbacks from that day and can change lives forever in such a horrible way.

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2014/07/23 23:51:40

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